I went to the Kremlin to meet Comrade Alexandre there at midday: he was
to bring me a soldier as a model. Not feeling brave enough to go and
review a platoon and make my own selection, I had described exactly
what I wanted: not the bloodthirsty savage Bolshevik of English
tradition, but the dreamy-eyed young Slav who knows what he is fighting
for, and such as I passed every day on the parade ground. I waited in my
studio impatiently till 2 o’clock, and then Alexandre arrived
accompanied by a soldier who was typically neither Russian, nor
military, nor intellectual, nor even fine physically. He was small,
white, _chétif_, and had a waxed moustache. It was a bad moment. I tried
to hide my disappointment and my amusement. I missed lunching in order
to work on him, and began something that was not in the least like my
model, but was the product of my imagination. At 5 I came home tired and
hungry and cold. I lay down on my sofa and watched the dusk crawl up
behind the Kremlin. At 8.30 I was called down to the telephone, which is
in the kitchen. It was Borodin speaking from the Foreign Office. He said
“good-bye” in his abrupt manner. “This is the right way,” he said. “This
is the way it should be.” The maid was throwing her broom around the
kitchen, making as much noise as possible, and a strange man glared at
me out of the gloom. I found it difficult to concentrate my attention.
Michael knows that I do not believe in “futures,” but nevertheless we
said “someday,” and I wonder very much if that strange
Communist-Revolutionary, with his mask-like face and deep voice, will
ever cross my path again. To-night I regret him, but then I am lonely
for the moment--friendless, and this is a place where one needs friends.
At 9 o’clock, not having eaten since 10 a.m., I went downstairs to
round-up some food. There, to my surprise, I met Litvinoff, who had been
in Moscow since the day before yesterday. Our pleasure at seeing each
other again was mutual and spontaneous. He is coming to stay at our
house, and will occupy the vacated room of Borodin.