Mr. Krassin, and most of the 128 New Bond Street staff, were at St.
Pancras to see us start. Krassin presented me with a big box of
chocolates tied up with red ribbons. We were rather a conspicuous group
on the platform, and I feared every second to meet someone whom I knew
travelling, possibly to York, on the same train.
S---- L---- was there to wish me God-speed, and Sydney, who is staying
with friends near Newcastle, and came down yesterday to spend my last
evening with me, travelled back to Newcastle with us. Rigamonti turned
up unexpectedly, which touched me very much.
Sydney, fulfilling his reputation as an organiser, discovered that there
were two trains going to Newcastle, and that the next one which left a
little later had a restaurant car, so we transferred our luggage from
the one to the other, and in the process I lost my handbag, which had a
hundred pounds in it in bank notes, all I possess in the world. It
caused me some agitation, but Kameneff was quite calm and seemed to
think that money was not very important, and that I should not have
much need of it in Russia.
To my intense relief, however, Sydney found the case at Newcastle, in
the lost property office, it travelled ahead of us on the other train.
Sydney came to the ship with us, I don’t think he believed in the
reality of my journey until he saw me safely past the passport
officials.
I certainly felt no sense of security until the steamer left the
quay-side. There was something indescribably exciting and clandestine
about slipping away without anyone knowing.
For some time Kameneff and I stood on deck to see the last of England,
with her Turner sky. The sunset was golden haze, and Kameneff said: “It
looks mysterious, that land, doesn’t it?” But to me it was just the old
world wrapped in a shroud. Mystery lay ahead of us in the new world that
is our destination.
Now for the first time I had leisure and calm in which to think over
what I am doing. There persist in my mind faint echoes of warnings, but
I must have no misgivings, it seems to me unlikely that Kameneff would
invite me to go to his country if I were likely to be either unhappy or
in danger there. He must know what he is doing, and what he is taking me
to. There are moments in life when it is necessary to have blind faith.