_Monday, May 29th._--When Mr. ANDERSON alleged that a certain firm,
desirous of getting its employés exempted, had "hospitably entertained"
the members of the local tribunal at its works, we felt that we were on
the fringe of a grave scandal. A picture of the tribunal replete with
salmon and champagne rose before the mind's eye. But when we learned
from the Ministerial reply that the refreshment alluded to consisted of
"tea and bread-and-butter" the vision faded away. Those innocent viands
could not connote corruption.
_À propos_ of tribunals, the House learned with delight that the
military representative at Middlesbrough is Mr. HUSTLER HUSTLER.
Obviously the Government have at last discovered "the man of push and
go" for whom they were looking a year ago.
Mr. MCKENNA was a little short-tempered this afternoon. He first
descended heavily upon Mr. SAMUEL SAMUEL, who had suggested that it was
time to issue another War Loan, instead of borrowing so heavily upon
Treasury Bills. The hon. member, he declared, had no right to speak for
that mysterious entity, "the City." When Sir F. BANBURY, who indubitably
has that right, endorsed Mr. SAMUEL'S appeal, Mr. MCKENNA took refuge
under a point of order--rather an exiguous form of shelter for a
Minister of the Crown.
[Illustration: Has Lord Kitchener, in his passionate desire to encourage
the Volunteers, ever thought of the untapped resources of the Tower of
London?]
_Tuesday, May 30th._--The uncertainty of the Volunteers as to whether
they are regarded by the War Office as a very present help in time of
trouble or as a confounded nuisance will hardly be removed by Lord
KITCHENER'S speech. True he said many nice things about them, and
particularly about the behaviour of the Dublin corps during the
insurrection, but when it came to a tangible recognition of their
usefulness he had very little to offer. All the money available was
required for the Army. The Volunteers must be content with such
part-worn equipment and old-fashioned weapons as he could find them.
On the Consolidated Fund Bill Mr. FELL and other Members for East Anglia
represented very poignantly the woes inflicted upon their constituencies
by the air and sea raids. Fishermen and lodging-house keepers were alike
deprived of their livelihood. Could not the Government do something for
them, either by billeting soldiers or by direct grants-in-aid?
Mr. HAYES FISHER in reply exuded sympathy at every pore. The previous
speakers had, as he said, painted "a deplorable picture of gloom," and
he laid on the colours from an even more opulent palette. But on the
question of actual relief he was painfully indefinite. Billeting--that
was a question for the War Office; grants--they were a matter for the
Treasury. The East Anglers who thought their fish safely hooked had to
go away empty.
_Wednesday, May 31st._--Not content with having laid sacrilegious hands
on the clock, the Government have now deranged the calendar and kicked
Whit-Monday into August. But it is all in the good cause of piling up
shells against the Bosches, so the House cheerfully approved the PRIME
MINISTER'S announcement.
For some days there have been rumours of an impending attack upon Lord
KITCHENER, to be led by Colonel CHURCHILL. Perhaps that was why Mr.
TENNANT, who moved the Vote for the War Office, decided to get his blow
in first. His short speech began with a jibe at his critic's strategical
omniscience, though it is not true that he referred to him as "the right
hon. and recently gallant gentleman"; proceeded with a denial of most of
his assumptions, and ended with a high tribute to LORD KITCHENER'S
prevision in raising a great army to cope with a long war.
Colonel CHURCHILL did not pick up the gage thus ostentatiously thrown
down, but some of his friends were less discreet, and developed a
close-range assault upon LORD KITCHENER. The PRIME MINISTER is never
seen to greater advantage than when he is defending a colleague, and he
declared that the WAR SECRETARY was personally entitled to the credit
for the amazing expansion of the army.
Unofficial tributes were not wanting. Sir MARK SYKES asserted that in
Germany the WAR SECRETARY was feared as a great organiser, while in the
East his name was one to conjure with; and Sir GEORGE REID declared that
his chief fault was that he was "not clever at circulating the cheap
coin of calculated civilities which enable inferior men to rise to
positions to which they are not entitled."
_Thursday, June 1st_.--In moving that the House should at its rising
adjourn until June 20th, the PRIME MINISTER felt it necessary to remove
any impression that the Government, while asking everybody else to
sacrifice their Whitsun holiday, were themselves going junketing.
Like Old TOM MORRIS, who rebuked a would-be Sunday golfer by saying "if
you don't want your Sabbath rest the links do," he pointed out that the
continuous sittings of the House threw a double burden not only upon
Ministers--one of whom, Mr. RUNCIMAN, has unhappily broken down--but
also upon the permanent officials. Even Members of Parliament, he slily
added, might be under a misapprehension in supposing that constant
attendance at the House was the best way in which they could discharge
their duty to their country in time of war.
The Nationalist Members are doing their best to "give LLOYD GEORGE a
chance." True, they ask an inordinate number of questions arising out of
the hot Easter week in Dublin--when, according to the local wit, it was
"'98 in the shade"--but otherwise they have sternly repressed any
tendency to factiousness. Yesterday, when a freelance sought to move the
adjournment of the House in order to denounce the continuance of martial
law in Ireland, not a single other Member rose to support him; and
to-day, though Mr. DILLON could not resist the temptation to make a
speech on the same subject, he showed a refreshing restraint.
Only once--when he declared that "if you can reach the hearts of the
Irish people you can do anything with them; but they will not be driven,
and you cannot crush them"--did his voice approach that painfully high
pitch which irreverent critics have been known to describe as "Sister
Mary Jane's top-note."
Mr. ASQUITH in reply was sympathetic but firm. The Government were not
deaf to the plea for leniency which had been addressed to them by all
Irish representatives, by Sir EDWARD CARSON as well as by Mr. REDMOND.
But they could not give an undertaking that there should be an end of
the courts-martial. As for the persons deported from Ireland, for whom
Mr. DILLON had specially appealed, it would be more humane in their own
interests not to bring them to trial at once, for that would mean a crop
of convictions and sentences which would increase instead of allaying
the alleged irritation in Ireland.
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[Illustration: _Doctor_ (_examining recruit_). "And do you always
stutter like that?"
_Recruit_. "N-n-no, Sir. Only w-w-w-when I t-t-talk."]
* * * * *
Mr. JOHN O'CONNOR developed a really ingenious argument. To show that
martial law ought now to be dropped he mentioned that if he attempted to
hold a recruiting meeting in his constituency his life would not be
worth half-an-hour's purchase. Members who were thinking of spending the
recess in Ireland were greatly impressed.
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