XXX.

In a reverie of rare vividness following her recovery of the minister's

child, Annie Kilburn dramatised an escape from all the failures and

humiliations of her life in Hatboro'. She took Idella with her and went

back to Rome, accomplishing the whole affair so smoothly and rapidly that

she wondered at herself for not having thought of such a simple solution of

her difficulties before. She even began to put some little things together

for her flight, while she explained to old friends in the American colony

that Idella was the orphan child of a country minister, which she had

adopted. That old lady who had found her motives in returning to Hatboro'

insufficient questioned her sharply _why_ she had adopted the

minister's child, and did not find her answers satisfactory. They were such

as also failed to pacify inquiry in Hatboro', where Annie remained, in

spite of her reverie; but people accepted the fact, and accounted for it in

their own way, and approved it, even though they could not quite approve

her.

The dramatic impressiveness of the minister's death won him undisputed

favour, yet it failed to establish unity in his society. Supply after

supply filled his pulpit, but the people found them all unsatisfactory when

they remembered his preaching, and could not make up their minds to any

one of them. They were more divided than ever, except upon the point of

regretting Mr. Peck. But they distinguished, in honouring his memory. They

revered his goodness and his wisdom, but they regarded his conduct of life

as unpractical. They said there never was a more inspired teacher, but it

was impossible to follow him, and he could not himself have kept the course

he had marked out. They said, now that he was beyond recall, no one else

could have built up the church in Hatboro' as he could, if he could only

have let impracticable theories alone. Mr. Gerrish called many people to

witness that this was what he had always said. He contended that it was the

spirit of the gospel which you were to follow. He said that if Mr. Peck had

gone to teaching among the mill hands, he would have been sick of it inside

of six weeks; but he was a good Christian man, and no one wished less than

Mr. Gerrish to reproach him for what was, after all, more an error of the

head than the heart. His critics had it their own way in this, for he had

not lived to offer that full exposition of his theory and justification of

his purpose which he had been expected to give on the Sunday after he was

killed; and his death was in no wise exegetic. It said no more to his

people than it had said to Annie; it was a mere casualty; and his past

life, broken and unfulfilled, with only its intimations and intentions of

performance, alone remained.

When people learned, as they could hardly help doing from Mrs. Savor's

volubility, what his plan with regard to Idella had been, they instanced

that in proof of the injuriousness of his idealism as applied to real

life; and they held that she had been remanded in that strange way to Miss

Kilburn's charge for some purpose which she must not attempt to cross. As

the minister had been thwarted in another intent by death, it was a sign

that he was wrong in this too, and that she could do better by the child

than he had proposed.

This was the sum of popular opinion; and it was further the opinion of Mrs.

Gerrish, who gave more attention to the case than many others, that Annie

had first taken the child because she hoped to get Mr. Peck, when she found

she could not get Dr. Morrell; and that she would have been very glad to be

rid of it if she had known how, but that she would have to keep it now for

shame's sake.

For shame's sake certainly, Annie would have done several other things, and

chief of these would have been never to see Dr. Morrell again. She believed

that he not only knew the folly she had confessed to him, but that he had

divined the cowardice and meanness in which she had repented it, and she

felt intolerably disgraced before the thought of him. She had imagined

mainly because of him that escape to Rome which never has yet been

effected, though it might have been attempted if Idella had not wakened

ill from the sleep she sobbed herself into when she found herself safe in

Annie's crib again.

She had taken a heavy cold, and she moped lifelessly about during the day,

and drowsed early again in the troubled cough-broken slumber.

“That child ought to have the doctor,” said Mrs. Bolton, with the grim

impartiality in which she masked her interference.

“Well,” said Annie helplessly.

At the end of the lung fever which followed, “It was a narrow chance,” said

the doctor one morning; “but now I needn't come any more unless you send

for me.”

Annie stood at the door, where he spoke with his hand on the dash-board of

his buggy before getting into it.

She answered with one of those impulses that come from something deeper

than intention. “I will send for you, then--to tell you how generous you

are,” and in the look with which she spoke she uttered the full meaning

that her words withheld.

He flushed for pleasure of conscious desert, but he had to laugh and turn

it off lightly. “I don't think I could come for that. But I'll look in to

see Idella unprofessionally.”

He drove away, and she remained at her door looking up at the summer blue

sky that held a few soft white clouds, such as might have overhung the same

place at the same hour thousands of years before, and such as would lazily

drift over it in a thousand years to come. The morning had an immeasurable

vastness, through which some crows flying across the pasture above the

house sent their voices on the spacious stillness. A perception of the

unity of all things under the sun flashed and faded upon her, as such

glimpses do. Of her high intentions, nothing had resulted. An inexorable

centrifugality had thrown her off at every point where she tried to cling.

Nothing of what was established and regulated had desired her intervention;

a few accidents and irregularities had alone accepted it. But now she felt

that nothing withal had been lost; a magnitude, a serenity, a tolerance,

intimated itself in the universal frame of things, where her failure, her

recreancy, her folly, seemed for the moment to come into true perspective,

and to show venial and unimportant, to be limited to itself, and to be even

good in its effect of humbling her to patience with all imperfection and

shortcoming, even her own. She was aware of the cessation of a struggle

that has never since renewed itself with the old intensity; her wishes, her

propensities, ceased in that degree to represent evil in conflict with the

portion of good in her; they seemed so mixed and interwoven with the good

that they could no longer be antagonised; for the moment they seemed in

their way even wiser and better, and ever after to be the nature out of

which good as well as evil might come.

As she remained standing there, Mr. Brandreth came round the corner of the

house, looking very bright and happy.

“Miss Kilburn,” he said abruptly, “I want you to congratulate me. I'm

engaged to Miss Chapley.”

“Are you indeed, Mr. Brandreth? I do congratulate you with all my heart.

She is a lovely girl.”

“Yes, it's all right now,” said Mr. Brandreth. “I've come to tell you the

first one, because you seemed to take an interest in it when I told you of

the trouble about the Juliet. We hadn't come to any understanding before

that, but that seemed to bring us both to the point, and--and we're

engaged. Mother and I are going to New York for the winter; we think she

can risk it; and at any rate she won't be separated from me; and we shall

be back in our little home next May. You know that I'm to be with Mr.

Chapley in his business?”

“Why, no! This is _great_ news, Mr. Brandreth! I don't know what to

say.”

“You're very kind,” said the young man, and for the third or fourth time he

wrung her hand. “It isn't a partnership, of course; but he thinks I can be

of use to him.”

“I know you can!” Annie adventured.

“We are very busy getting ready--nearly everybody else is gone--and mother

sent her kindest regards--you know she don't make calls--and I just ran up

to tell you. Well, _good_-bye!”

“_Good_-bye! Give my love to your mother, and to your-to Miss

Chapley.”

“I will.” He hurried off, and then came running back. “Oh, I forgot! About

the Social Union fund. You know we've got about two hundred dollars from

the theatricals, but the matter seems to have stopped there, and some of us

think there'd better be some other disposition of the money. Have you any

suggestion to make?”

“No, none.”

“Then I'll tell you. It's proposed to devote the money to beautifying the

grounds around the soldiers' monument. They ought to be fenced and planted

with flowers--turned into a little public garden. Everybody appreciates the

interest you took in the Union, and we hoped you'd be pleased with that

disposition of the money.”

“It is very kind,” said Annie, with a meek submission that must have made

him believe she was deeply touched.

“As I'm not to be here this winter,” he continued, “we thought we had

better leave the whole matter in your hands, and the money has been

deposited in the bank subject to your order. It was Mrs. Munger's idea. I

don't think she's ever felt just right about that evening of the dramatics,

don't you know. _Good_-bye!”

He ran off to escape her thanks for this proof of confidence in her taste

and judgment, and he was gone beyond her protest before she emerged from

her daze into a full sense of the absurdity of the situation.

“Well, it's a very simple matter to let the money lie in the bank,” said

Dr. Morrell, who came that evening to make his first unprofessional visit,

and received with pure amusement the account of the affair, which she gave

him with a strong infusion of vexation.

“The way I was involved in this odious Social Union business from the

first, and now have it left on my hands in the end, is maddening. Why, I

can't get rid of it!” she replied.

“Then, perhaps,” he comfortably suggested, “it's a sign you're not intended

to get rid of it.”

“What _do_ you mean?”

“Why don't you go on,” he irresponsibly adventured further, “and establish

a Social Union?”

“Do you _mean_ it?”

“What was that notion of his”--they usually spoke of the minister

pronominally--“about getting the Savors going in a co-operative

boarding-house at Fall River? Putney said something about it.”

Annie explained, as she had heard it from him, and from the Savors since

his death, the minister's scheme for a club, in which the members should

contribute the labour and the provisions, and should live cheaply and

wholesomely under the management of the Savors at first, and afterward

should continue them in charge, or not, as they chose. “He seemed to

have thought it out very carefully. But I supposed, of course, it was

unpractical.”

“Was that why you were going in for it?” asked the doctor; and then he

spared her confusion in adding: “I don't see why it was unpractical. It

seems to me a very good notion for a Social Union. Why not try it here?

There isn't the same pressing necessity that there is in a big factory

town; but you have the money, and you have the Savors to make a beginning.”

His tone was still half bantering; but it had become more and more serious,

so that she could say in earnest: “But the money is one of the drawbacks.

It was Mr. Peck's idea that the working people ought to do it all

themselves.”

“Well, I should say that two-thirds of that money in the bank had come from

them. They turned out in great force to Mr. Brandreth's theatricals. And

wouldn't it be rather high-handed to use their money for anything but the

Union?”

“You don't suppose,” said Annie hotly, “that I would spend a cent of it

on the grounds of that idiotic monument? I would pay for having it blown

up with dynamite! No, I can't have anything more to do with the wretched

affair. My touch is fatal.” The doctor laughed, and she added: “Besides, I

believe most heartily with Mr. Peck that no person of means and leisure can

meet working people except in the odious character of a patron, and if I

didn't respect them, I respect myself too much for that. If I were ready to

go in with them and start the Social Union on his basis, by helping do

house-work--_scullion_-work--for it, and eating and living with them,

I might try; but I know from experience I'm not. I haven't the need, and to

pretend that I have, to forego my comforts and luxuries in a make-believe

that I haven't them, would be too ghastly a farce, and I won't.”

“Well, then, don't,” said the doctor, bent more perhaps on carrying his

point in argument than on promoting the actual establishment of the Social

Union. “But my idea is this: Take two-thirds or one-half of that money,

and go to Savor, and say: 'Here! This is what Mr. Brandreth's theatricals

swindled the shop-hands out of. It's honestly theirs, at least to control;

and if you want to try that experiment of Mr. Peck's here in Hatboro', it's

yours. We people of leisure, or comparative leisure, have really nothing

in common with you people who work with your hands for a living; and as we

really can't be friends with you, we won't patronise you. We won't advise

you, and we won't help you; but here's the money. If you fail, you fail;

and if you succeed, you won't succeed by our aid and comfort.'”

The plan that Annie and Doctor Morrell talked over half in joke took a more

and more serious character in her sense of duty to the minister's memory

and the wish to be of use, which was not extinct in her, however she mocked

and defied it. It was part of the irony of her fate that the people who

were best able to counsel with her in regard to it were Lyra, whom she

could not approve, and Jack Wilmington, whom she had always disliked. He

was able to contribute some facts about the working of the Thayer Club

at the Harvard Memorial Hall in Cambridge, and Lyra because she had been

herself a hand, and would not forget it, was of use in bringing the scheme

into favour with the hands. They felt easy with her, as they did with

Putney, and for much the same reason: it is one of the pleasing facts of

our conditions that people who are socially inferior like best those above

them who are morally anomalous. It was really through Lyra that Annie got

at the working people, and when it came to a formal conference, there

was no one who could command their confidence like Putney, whom they saw

mad-drunk two or three times a year, but always pulling up and fighting

back to sanity against the enemy whose power some of them had felt too.

No theory is so perfect as not to be subject to exceptions in the

experiment, and in spite of her conviction of the truth of Mr. Peck's

social philosophy, Annie is aware, through her simple and frank relations

with the hands in a business matter, of mutual kindness which it does

not account for. But perhaps the philosophy and the experiment were not

contradictory; perhaps it was intended to cover only the cases in which

they had no common interest. At anyrate, when the Peck Social Union, as its

members voted to call it, at the suggestion of one of their own number, got

in working order, she was as cordially welcomed to the charge of its funds

and accounts as if she had been a hat-shop hand or a shoe-binder. She is

really of use, for its working is by no means ideal, and with her wider

knowledge she has suggested improvements and expedients for making both

ends meet which were sometimes so reluctant to meet. She has kept a

conscience against subsidising the Union from her own means; and she even

accepts for her services a small salary, which its members think they

ought to pay her. She owns this ridiculous, like all the make-believe work

of rich people; a travesty which has no reality except the little sum it

added to the greater sum of her superabundance. She is aware that she is

a pensioner upon the real members of the Social Union for a chance to be

useful, and that the work they let her do is the right of some one who

needs it. She has thought of doing the work and giving the pay to another;

but she sees that this would be pauperising and degrading another. So she

dwells in a vicious circle, and waits, and mostly forgets, and is mostly

happy.

The Social Union itself, though not a brilliant success in all points, is

still not a failure; and the promise of its future is in the fact that it

continues to have a present. The people of Hatboro' are rather proud of

it, and strangers visit it as one of the possible solutions of one of the

social problems. It is predicted that it cannot go on; that it must either

do better or do worse; but it goes on the same.

Putney studies its existence in the light of his own infirmity, to which he

still yields from time to time, as he has always done. He professes to find

there a law which would account for a great many facts of human experience

otherwise inexplicable. He does not attempt to define this occult

preservative principle, but he offers himself and the Social Union as

proofs of its existence; and he argues that if they can only last long

enough they will finally be established in a virtue and prosperity as great

as those of Mr. Gerrish and his store.

Annie sometimes feels that nothing else can explain the maintenance of Lyra

Wilmington's peculiar domestic relations at the point which perpetually

invites comment and never justifies scandal. The situation seems to her as

lamentable as ever. She grieves over Lyra, and likes her, and laughs with

her; she no longer detests Jack Wilmington so much since he showed himself

so willing and helpful about the Social Union; she thinks there must be a

great deal of good in him, and sometimes she is sorry for him, and longs to

speak again to Lyra about the wrong she is doing him. One of the dangers

of having a very definite point of view is the temptation of abusing it to

read the whole riddle of the painful earth. Annie has permitted herself to

think of Lyra's position as one which would be impossible in a state of

things where there was neither poverty nor riches, and there was neither

luxury on one hand to allure, nor the fear of want to constrain on the

other.

When her recoil from the fulfilment of her volunteer pledge to Mr. Peck

brought her face to face with her own weakness, there were two ways back

to self-respect, either of which she might take. She might revert to her

first opinion of him, and fortify herself in that contempt and rejection of

his ideas, or she might abandon herself to them, with a vague intention of

reparation to him, and accept them to the last insinuation of their logic.

This was what she did, and while her life remained the same outwardly, it

was inwardly all changed. She never could tell by what steps she reached

her agreement with the minister's philosophy; perhaps, as a woman, it

was not possible she should; but she had a faith concerning it to which

she bore unswerving allegiance, and it was Putney's delight to witness

its revolutionary effect on an old Hatboro' Kilburn, the daughter of a

shrewd lawyer and canny politician like her father, and the heir of an

aristocratic tradition, a gentlewoman born and bred. He declared himself

a reactionary in comparison with her, and had the habit of taking the

conservative side against her. She was in the joke of this; but it was a

real trouble to her for a time that Dr. Morrell, after admitting the force

of her reasons, should be content to rest in a comfortable inconclusion

as to his conduct, till one day she reflected that this was what she was

herself doing, and that she differed from him only in the openness with

which she proclaimed her opinions. Being a woman, her opinions were treated

by the magnates of Hatboro' as a good joke, the harmless fantasies of an

old maid, which she would get rid of if she could get anybody to marry her;

being a lady, and very well off, they were received with deference, and

she was left to their uninterrupted enjoyment. Putney amused himself by

saying that she was the fiercest apostle of labour that never did a stroke

of work; but no one cared half so much for all that as for the question

whether her affair with Dr. Morrell was a friendship or a courtship. They

saw an activity of attention on his part which would justify the most

devout belief in the latter, and yet they were confronted with the fact

that it so long remained eventless. The two theories, one that she was

amusing herself with him, and the other that he was just playing with her,

divided public opinion, but they did not molest either of the parties to

the mystery; and the village, after a season of acute conjecture, quiesced

into that sarcastic sufferance of the anomaly into which it may have been

noticed that small communities are apt to subside from such occasions.

Except for some such irreconcilable as Mrs. Gerrish, it was a good joke

that if you could not find Dr. Morrell in his office after tea, you could

always find him at Miss Kilburn's. Perhaps it might have helped solve the

mystery if it had been known that she could not accept the situation,

whatever it really was, without satisfying herself upon two points, which

resolved themselves into one in the process of the inquiry.

She asked, apparently as preliminary to answering a question of his, “Have

you heard that gossip about my--being in--caring for the poor man?”

“Yes.”

“And did you--what did you think?”

“That it wasn't true. I knew if there were anything in it, you couldn't

have talked him over with me.”

She was silent. Then she said, in a low voice: “No, there couldn't have

been. But not for that reason alone, though it's very delicate and generous

of you to think of it, very large-minded; but because it _couldn't_

have been. I could have worshipped him, but I couldn't have loved him--any

more,” she added, with an implication that entirely satisfied him, “than I

could have worshipped _you_.”

Annie Kilburn : a Novel · 第 34 / 35 题