THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE A FAILURE
If you made a botch of last year, if you feel that it was a failure,
that you floundered and blundered and did a lot of foolish things; if
you were gullible, made imprudent investments, wasted your time and
money, don't drag these ghosts along with you to handicap you and
destroy your happiness all through the future.
Haven't you wasted enough energy worrying over what can not be helped?
Don't let these things sap any more of your vitality, waste any more of
your time or destroy any more of your happiness.
There is only one thing to do with bitter experiences, blunders and
unfortunate mistakes, or with memories that worry us and which kill our
efficiency, and that is to _forget them, bury them_!
To-day is a good time to "leave the low-vaulted past," to drop the
yesterdays, to forget bitter memories.
Resolve that you will close the door on everything in the past that
pains and can not help you. Free yourself from everything which
handicaps you, keeps you back and makes you unhappy. Throw away all
useless baggage, drop everything that is a drag, that hinders your
progress.
Enter upon to-morrow with a clean slate and a free mind. Don't be
mortgaged to the past, and never look back.
There is no use in castigating yourself for not having done better.
Form a habit of expelling from your mind thoughts or suggestions which
call up unpleasant subjects or bitter memories, and which have a bad
influence upon you.
Every one ought to make it a life-rule to wipe out from his memory
everything that has been unpleasant, unfortunate. We ought to forget
everything that has kept us back, has made us suffer, has been
disagreeable, and never allow the hideous pictures of distressing
conditions to enter our minds again. There is only one thing to do
with a disagreeable, harmful experience, and that is--_forget it_!
There are many times in the life of a person who does things that are
worth while when he gets terribly discouraged and thinks it easier to
go back than to push on. But _there is no victory in retreating_. We
should never leave any bridges unburned behind us, any way open for
retreat to tempt our weakness, indecision or discouragement. If there
is anything we ever feel grateful for, it is that we have had courage
and pluck enough to push on, to keep going when things looked dark and
when seemingly insurmountable obstacles confronted us.
Most people are their own worst enemies. We are all the time
"queering" our life game by our vicious, tearing-down thoughts and
unfortunate moods. Everything depends upon our courage, our faith in
ourselves, in our holding a hopeful, optimistic outlook; and yet,
whenever things go wrong with us, whenever we have a discouraging day
or an unfortunate experience, a loss or any misfortune, we let the
tearing-down thought, doubt, fear, despondency, like a bull in a china
shop, tear through our mentalities, perhaps breaking up and destroying
the work of years of building up, and we have to start all over again.
We work and live like the frog in the well; we climb up only to fall
back, and often lose all we gain.
One of the worst things that can ever happen to a person is to get it
into his head that he was born unlucky and that the Fates are against
him. There are no Fates, outside of our own mentality. We are our own
Fates. We control our own destiny.
There is no fate or destiny which puts one man down and another up.
"It is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings." He
only is beaten who admits it. The man is inferior who admits that he
is inferior, who voluntarily takes an inferior position because he
thinks the best things were intended for somebody else.
You will find that just in proportion as you increase your confidence
in yourself by the affirmation of what you wish to be and to do, your
ability will increase.
No matter what other people may think about your ability, never allow
yourself to doubt that you can do or become what you long to. Increase
your self-confidence in every possible way, and you can do this to a
remarkable degree by the power of self-suggestion.
This form of suggestion--talking to oneself vigorously,
earnestly--seems to arouse the sleeping forces in the subconscious self
more effectually than thinking the same thing.
There is a force in words spoken aloud which is not stirred by going
over the same words mentally. They sometimes arouse slumbering
energies within us which thinking does not stir up--especially if we
have not been trained to think deeply, to focus the mind closely. They
make a more lasting impression upon the mind, just as words which pass
through the eye from the printed page make a greater impression on the
brain than we get by thinking the same words; as seeing objects of
nature makes a more lasting impression upon the mind than thinking
about them. A vividness, a certain force, accompanies the spoken
word--especially if earnestly, vehemently uttered--which is not
apparent to many in merely thinking about what the words express. If
you repeat a firm resolve to yourself aloud, vigorously, even
vehemently, you are more likely to carry it to reality than if you
merely resolve in silence.
We become so accustomed to our silent thoughts that the voicing of
them, the giving audible expression to our yearnings, makes a much
deeper impression upon us.
The audible self-encouragement treatment may be used with marvelous
results in correcting our weaknesses; overcoming our deficiencies.
Never allow yourself to think meanly, narrowly, poorly of yourself.
Never regard yourself as weak, inefficient, diseased, but as perfect,
complete, capable. Never even think of the possibility of going
through life a failure or a partial failure. Failure and misery are
not for the man who has seen the God-side of himself, who has been in
touch with divinity. They are for those who have never discovered
themselves and their God-like qualities.
Stoutly assert that there is a place for you in the world, and that you
are going to fill it like a man. Train yourself to expect great things
of yourself. Never admit, even by your manner, that you think you are
destined to do little things all your life.
It is marvelous what mental strength can be developed by the perpetual
affirmation of vigorous fitness, strength, power, efficiency; these are
thoughts and ideals that make a strong man.
The way to get the best out of yourself is to put things right up to
yourself, handle yourself without gloves, and talk to yourself as you
would to a son of yours who has great ability but who is not using half
of it.
When you go into an undertaking just say to yourself, "Now, this thing
is right up to me. I've got to make good, to show the man in me or the
coward. There is no backing out."
You will be surprised to see how quickly this sort of self-suggestion
will brace you up and put new spirit in you.
I have a friend who has helped himself wonderfully by talking to
himself about his conduct. When he feels that he is not doing all that
he ought to, that he has made some foolish mistake or has failed to use
good sense and good judgment in any transaction, when he feels that his
stamina and ambition are deteriorating, he goes off alone to the
country, to the woods if possible, and has a good heart-to-heart talk
with himself something after this fashion:
"Now young man, you need a good talking-to, a bracing-up all along the
line. You are going stale, your standards are dropping, your ideals
are getting dull, and the worst of it all is that when you do a poor
job, or are careless about your dress and indifferent in your manner,
you do not feel as troubled as you used to. You are not making good.
This lethargy, this inertia, this indifference will seriously cripple
your career if you're not very careful. You are letting a lot of good
chances slip by you, because you are not as progressive and up-to-date
as you ought to be.
"In short, you are becoming lazy. You like to take things easy.
Nobody ever amounts to much who lets his energies flag, his standards
droop and his ambition ooze out. Now, I am going to keep right after
you, young man, until you are doing yourself justice. This
take-it-easy sort of policy will never land you at the goal you started
for. You will have to watch yourself very closely or you will be left
behind.
"You are capable of something much better than what you are doing. You
must start out to-day with a firm resolution to make the returns from
your work greater to-night than ever before. You must make this a
red-letter day. Bestir yourself; get the cobwebs out of your head;
brush off the brain ash. Think, think, think to some purpose! Do not
mull and mope like this. You are only half-alive, man; get a move on
you!"
This young man says that every morning when he finds his standards are
down and he feels lazy and indifferent he "hauls himself over the
coals," as he calls it, in order to force himself up to a higher
standard and put himself in tune for the day. It is the very first
thing he attends to.
He forces himself to do the most disagreeable tasks first, and does not
allow himself to skip hard problems. "Now, don't be a coward," he says
to himself. "If others have done this, you can do it."
By years of stern discipline of this kind he has done wonders with
himself. He began as a poor boy living in the slums of New York with
no one to take an interest in him, encourage or push him. Though he
had little opportunity for schooling when he was a small boy, he has
given himself a splendid education, mainly since he was twenty-one. I
have never known any one else who carried on such a vigorous campaign
in self-victory, self-development, self-training, self-culture as this
young man has.
At first it may seem silly to you to be talking to yourself, but you
will derive so much benefit from it that you will have recourse to it
in remedying all your defects. There is no fault, however great or
small, which will not succumb to persistent audible suggestion. For
example, you may be naturally timid and shrink from meeting people; and
you may distrust your own ability. If so, you will be greatly helped
by assuring yourself in your daily self-talks that you are not timid;
that, on the contrary, you are the embodiment of courage and bravery.
Assure yourself that there is no reason why you should be timid,
because there is nothing inferior or peculiar about you; that you are
attractive and that you know how to act in the presence of others. Say
to yourself that you are never again going to allow yourself to harbor
any thoughts of self-depreciation or timidity or inferiority; that you
are going to hold your head up and go about as though you were a king,
a conqueror, instead of crawling about like a whipped cur; you are
going to assert your manhood, your individuality.
If you lack initiative, stoutly affirm your ability to begin things,
and to push them to a finish. And always put your resolve into action
at the first opportunity.
You will be surprised to see how you can increase your courage, your
confidence, and your ability, if you will be sincere with yourself and
strong and persistent in your affirmations.
I know of nothing so helpful for the timid, those who lack faith in
themselves, as the habit of constantly affirming their own importance,
their own power, their own divinity. The trouble is that we do not
think half enough of ourselves; do not accurately measure our ability;
do not put the right estimate upon our possibilities. We berate
ourselves, belittle, efface ourselves, because we do not see the
larger, diviner man in us.
Try this experiment the very next time you get discouraged or think
that you are a failure, that your work does not amount to much--turn
about face. Resolve that you will go no further in that direction.
Stop and face the other way, and _go_ the other way. Every time you
think you are a failure, it helps you to become one, for your thought
is your life pattern and you can not get away from it. You can not get
away from your ideals, the standard which you hold for yourself, and if
you acknowledge in your thought that you are a failure, that you can't
do anything worth while, that luck is against you, that you don't have
the same opportunity that other people have---your convictions will
control the result.
There are thousands of people who have lost everything they valued in
the world, all the material results of their lives' endeavor, and yet,
because they possess stout hearts, unconquerable spirits, a
determination to push ahead which knows no retreat, they are just as
far from real failure as before their loss; and with such wealth they
can never be poor.
A great many people fail to reach a success which matches their ability
because they are victims of their moods, which repel people and repel
business.
We avoid morose, gloomy people just as we avoid a picture which makes a
disagreeable impression upon us.
Everywhere we see people with great ambitions doing very ordinary
things, simply because there are so many days when they do not "feel
like it" or when they are discouraged or "blue."
A man who is at the mercy of a capricious disposition can never be a
leader, a power among men.
It is perfectly possible for a well-trained mind to completely rout the
worst case of the "blues" in a few minutes; but the trouble with most
of us is that instead of flinging open the mental blinds and letting in
the sun of cheerfulness, hope, and optimism, we keep them closed and
try to eject the darkness by main force.
The art of arts is learning how to clear the mind of its
enemies--enemies of our comfort, happiness, and success. It is a great
thing to learn to focus the mind upon the beautiful instead of the
ugly, the true instead of the false, upon harmony instead of discord,
life instead of death, health instead of disease. This is not always
easy, but it is possible to everybody. It requires only skilful
thinking, the forming of the right thought habits.
The best way to keep out darkness is to keep the life filled with
light; to keep out discord, keep it filled with harmony; to shut out
error, keep the mind filled with truth; to shut out ugliness,
contemplate beauty and loveliness; to get rid of all that is sour and
unwholesome, contemplate all that is sweet and wholesome. Opposite
thoughts can not occupy the mind at the same time.
No matter whether you feel like it or not, just affirm that you _must_
feel like it, that you _will_ feel like it, that you _do_ feel like it,
that you are normal and that you are in a position to do your best.
Say it deliberately, affirm it vigorously and it will come true.
The next time you get into trouble, or are discouraged and think you
are a failure, just try the experiment of affirming vigorously,
persistently, that all that is real _must_ be good, for God made all
that is, and whatever doesn't seem to be good is not like its creator
and therefore can not be real. Persist in this affirmation. You will
be surprised to see how unfortunate suggestions and adverse conditions
will melt away before it.
The next time you feel the "blues" or a fit of depression coming on,
just get by yourself--if possible after taking a good bath and dressing
yourself becomingly--and give yourself a good talking-to. Talk to
yourself in the same dead-in-earnest way that you would talk to your
own child or a dear friend who was deep in the mire of despondency,
suffering tortures from melancholy. Drive out the black, hideous
pictures which haunt your mind. Sweep away all depressing thoughts,
suggestions, all the rubbish that is troubling you. Let go of
everything that is unpleasant; all the mistakes, all the disagreeable
past; just rise up in arms against the enemies of your peace and
happiness; summon all the force you can muster and drive them out.
Resolve that no matter what happens you are going to be happy; that you
are going to enjoy yourself.
When you look at it squarely, it is very foolish--almost criminal--to
go about this beautiful world, crowded with splendid opportunities, and
things to delight and cheer us, with a sad, dejected face, as though
life had been a disappointment instead of a priceless boon. Just say
to yourself, "I am a man and I am going to do the work of a man. It's
right up to me and I am going to face the situation."
Do not let anybody or anything shake your faith that you can conquer
all the enemies of your peace and happiness, and that you inherit an
abundance of all that is good.
We should early form the habit of erasing from the mind all
disagreeable, unhealthy, death-dealing thoughts. We should start out
every morning with a clean slate. We should blot out from our mental
gallery all discordant pictures and replace them with the harmonious,
uplifting, life-giving ones.
The next time you feel jaded, discouraged, completely played out and
"blue," you will probably find, if you look for the reason, that your
condition is largely due to exhausted vitality, either from overwork,
overeating, or violating in some way the laws of digestion, or from
vicious habits of some kind.
The "blues" are often caused by exhausted nerve cells, due to
overstraining work, long-continued excitement, or over-stimulated
nerves from dissipation. This condition is caused by the clamoring of
exhausted nerve cells for nourishment, rest, or recreation. Multitudes
of people suffer from despondency and melancholy, as a result of a
run-down condition physically, due to their irregular, vicious habits
and a lack of refreshing sleep.
When you are feeling "blue" or discouraged, get as complete a change of
environment as possible. Whatever you do, do not brood over your
troubles or dwell upon the things which happen to annoy you at the
time. Think the pleasantest, happiest things possible. Hold the most
charitable, loving thoughts toward others. Make a strenuous effort to
radiate joy and gladness to everybody about you. Say the kindest,
pleasantest things. You will soon begin to feel a wonderful uplift;
the shadows which darkened your mind will flee away, and the sun of joy
will light up your whole being.
Stoutly, constantly, everlastingly affirm that you will become what
your ambitions indicate as fitting and possible. Do not say, "I shall
be a success sometime"; say, "I am a success. Success is my
birthright." Do not say that you are going to be happy in the future.
Say to yourself, "I was intended for happiness, made for it, and I am
happy now."
If, however, you affirm, "I am health; I am prosperity; I am this or
that," but do not believe it, you will not be helped by affirmation.
_You must believe what you affirm and try to realise it_.
Assert your actual possession of the things you need; of the qualities
you long to have. Force your mind toward your goal; hold it there
steadily, persistently, for this is the mental state that creates. The
negative mind, which doubts and wavers, creates nothing.
"I, myself, am good fortune," says Walt Whitman. If we could only
realize that the very attitude of assuming that we are the real
embodiment of the thing we long to be or to attain, that we possess the
good things we long for, not that we possess all the qualities of good,
but that we are these qualities--with the constant affirming, "I myself
am good luck, good fortune; I am myself a part of the great creative,
sustaining principle of the universe, because my real, divine self and
my Father are one"--what a revolution would come to earth's toilers!