_The Inn._
_Enter_ AIMWELL _and_ ARCHER.
_Arch._ Well, Tom, I find you are a marksman.
_Aim._ A marksman! who so blind could be as not discern a swan among the
ravens?
_Arch._ Well, but harkye, Aimwell----
_Aim._ Aimwell! call me Oroondates, Cesario, Amadis, all that romance
can in a lover paint, and then I'll answer. O, Archer, I read her
thousands in her looks! she looked like Ceres in her harvest; corn,
wine, and oil, milk and honey; gardens, groves, and purling streams,
played on her plenteous face.
_Arch._ Her face!--her pocket, you mean. The corn, wine, and oil, lies
there. In short, she has twenty thousand pounds, that's the English
on't.
_Aim._ Her eyes----
_Arch._ Are demicannons, to be sure; so I won't stand their battery.
[_Going._
_Aim._ Pray excuse me; my passion must have vent.
_Arch._ Passion! what a plague, d'ye think these romantic airs will do
your business? Were my temper as extravagant as yours, my adventures
have something more romantic by half.
_Aim._ Your adventures!
_Arch._ Yes--
The nymph, that with her twice ten hundred pounds,
With brazen engine hot, and coif clear starch'd,
Can fire the guest in warming of the bed--
There's a touch of sublime Milton for you, and the subject, but an
innkeeper's daughter. I can play with a girl, as an angler does with his
fish; he keeps it at the end of his line, runs it up the stream, and
down the stream, till at last, he brings it to hand, tickles the trout,
and so whips it into his basket.
_Enter_ BONIFACE.
_Bon._ Mr. Martin, as the saying is--yonder's an honest fellow below,
my Lady Bountiful's butler, who begs the honour, that you would go home
with him, and see his cellar.
_Arch._ Do my _baissemains_ to the gentleman, and tell him, I will do
myself the honour to wait on him immediately, as the saying is.
_Bon._ I shall do your worship's commands, as the saying is.
[_Exit, bowing obsequiously._
_Aim._ What do I hear? soft Orpheus play, and fair Toftida sing.
_Arch._ Pshaw! damn your raptures; I tell you, here's a pump going to be
put into the vessel, and the ship will get into harbour, my life on't.
You say, there's another lady very handsome there?
_Aim._ Yes, faith.
_Arch._ I'm in love with her already.
_Aim._ Can't you give me a bill upon Cherry in the mean time.
_Arch._ No, no, friend; all her corn, wine, and oil, is ingrossed to my
market--And, once more, I warn you, to keep your anchorage clear of
mine; for if you fall foul on me, by this light, you shall go to the
bottom.--What! make prize of my little frigate, while I am upon the
cruize for you! [_Exit._
_Enter_ BONIFACE.
_Aim._ Well, well, I won't--Landlord, have you any tolerable company in
the house? I don't care for dining alone.
_Bon._ Yes, sir, there's a captain below, as the saying is, that arrived
about an hour ago.
_Aim._ Gentlemen of his coat are welcome every where;--will you make
him a compliment from me, and tell him, I should be glad of his company.
_Bon._ Who shall I tell him, sir, would----
_Aim._ Ha! that stroke was well thrown in----I'm only a traveller, like
himself, and would be glad of his company, that's all.
_Bon._ I obey your commands, as the saying is. [_Exit._
_Enter_ ARCHER.
_Arch._ 'Sdeath! I had forgot--what title will you give yourself?
_Aim._ My brother's, to be sure: he would never give me any thing else,
so I'll make bold with his honour this bout. You know the rest of your
cue.
_Arch._ Ay, ay. [_Exit._
_Enter_ GIBBET.
_Gib._ Sir, I'm yours.
_Aim._ 'Tis more than I deserve, sir; for I don't know you.
_Gib._ I don't wonder at that, sir, for you never saw me before----I
hope. [_Aside._
_Aim._ And pray, sir, how came I by the honour of seeing you now?
_Gib._ Sir, I scorn to intrude upon any gentleman--but my landlord--
_Aim._ O, sir, I ask your pardon; you are the captain he told me of?
_Gib._ At your service, sir.
_Aim._ What regiment, may I be so bold?
_Gib._ A marching regiment, sir; an old corps.
_Aim._ Very old, if your coat be regimental. [_Aside._] You have served
abroad, sir?
_Gib._ Yes, sir, in the plantations; 'twas my lot to be sent into the
worst service; I would have quitted it indeed, but a man of honour, you
know----Besides, 'twas for the good of my country, that I should be
abroad----Any thing for the good of one's country.--I'm a Roman for
that.
_Aim._ One of the first, I'll lay my life. [_Aside._] You found the West
Indies very hot, sir?
_Gib._ Ay, sir, too hot for me.
_Aim._ Pray sir, han't I seen your face at Will's coffeehouse?
_Gib._ Yes, sir, and at White's too.
_Aim._ And where is your company now, captain?
_Gib._ They a'nt come yet.
_Aim._ Why, d'ye expect them here?
_Gib._ They'll be here to-night, sir.
_Aim._ Which way do they march?
_Gib._ Across the country.----The devil's in't, if I han't said enough
to encourage him to declare--but I'm afraid he's not right--I must tack
about. [_Aside._
_Aim._ Is your company to quarter at Litchfield?
_Gib._ In this house, sir.
_Aim._ What! all?
_Gib._ My company's but thin--Ha! ha! ha! we are but three;--ha! ha! ha!
_Aim._ You are merry, sir.
_Gib._ Ay, sir, you must excuse me, sir, I understand the world,
especially the art of travelling: I don't care, sir, for answering
questions directly upon the road--for I generally ride with a charge
about me.
_Aim._ Three or four, I believe. [_Aside._
_Gib._ I am credibly informed, that there are highwaymen upon this
quarter--not, sir, that I could suspect a gentleman of your figure--But,
truly, sir, I have got such a way of evasion upon the road, that I don't
care for speaking truth to any man.
_Aim._ Your caution may be necessary--Then, I presume, you are no
captain.
_Gib._ Not I, sir; captain is a good travelling name, and so I take it.
It stops a great many foolish inquiries, that are generally made about
gentlemen that travel;--it gives a man an air of something, and makes
the drawers obedient.--And, thus far, I am a captain, and no farther.
_Aim._ And, pray, sir, what is your true profession?
_Gib._ O, sir, you must excuse me--upon my word, sir, I don't think it
safe to tell ye.
_Aim._ Ha! ha! ha! upon my word, I commend you.--
_Enter_ BONIFACE.
Well, Mr. Boniface, what's the news?
_Bon._ There's another gentleman below, as the saying is, that, hearing
you were but two, would be glad to make the third man, if you'd give him
leave.
_Aim._ What is he?
_Bon._ A clergyman, as the saying is.
_Aim._ A clergyman!--is he really a clergyman? or is it only his
travelling name, as my friend the captain has it.
_Bon._ O, sir, he's a priest, and chaplain to the French officers in
town.
_Aim._ Is he a Frenchman?
_Bon._ Yes, sir; born at Brussels.
_Gib._ A Frenchman, and a priest! I won't be seen in his company,
sir;--I have a value for my reputation, sir.
_Aim._ Nay, but, captain, since we are by ourselves--Can he speak
English, landlord?
_Bon._ Very well, sir; you may know him, as the saying is, to be a
foreigner by his accent, and that's all.
_Aim._ Then he has been in England before?
_Bon._ Never, sir, but he's a master of languages, as the saying is--he
talks Latin; it does me good to hear him talk Latin.
_Aim._ Then you understand Latin, Mr. Boniface?
_Bon._ Not I, sir, as the saying is;--but he talks it so very fast, that
I'm sure it must be good.
_Aim._ Pray desire him to walk up.
_Bon._ Here he is, as the saying is.
_Enter_ FOIGARD.
_Foig._ Save you, gentlemens bote.
_Aim._ A Frenchman!--Sir, your most humble servant.
_Foig._ Och, dear joy, I am your most faithful shervant; and yours
alsho.
_Gib._ Doctor, you talk very good English, but you have a mighty twang
of the foreigner.
_Foig._ My English is very well for the vords; but ve foreigners, you
know, cannot bring our tongues about the pronunciation so soon.
_Aim._ A foreigner! A downright teague, by this light. [_Aside._] Were
you born in France, doctor?
_Foig._ I was educated in France, but I was borned at Brussels; I am a
subject of the King of Spain, joy.
_Gib._ What King of Spain, sir? speak.
_Foig._ Upon my shoul, joy, I cannot tell you as yet.
_Aim._ Nay, captain, that was too hard upon the doctor; he's a stranger.
_Foig._ O, let him alone, dear joy, I am of a nation that is not easily
put out of countenance.
_Aim._ Come, gentlemen, I'll end the dispute----Here, landlord, is
dinner ready?
_Bon._ Upon the table, as the saying is.
_Aim._ Gentlemen--pray--that door----
_Foig._ No, no, fait, the captain must lead.
_Aim._ No, doctor, the church is our guide.
_Gib._ Ay, ay, so it is. [_Exeunt_, FOIGARD _foremost_.