"It will buy all the affection I want--and a bit over."
Then the lights of Exeter at last appeared and I was frightfully
exhausted by now and jolly glad to see them.
"Here we are at last, thank the Lord," said my companion, though not in
a very pious tone. Then, at the outskirts of the town, we came to a
building with a light outside, and the major-general pushed me in in
front of him--rather roughly, I thought. The inside was brightly
illuminated with gas and, to my amazement, the building contained
nothing but policemen. One of these was much astonished to see us.
"Hullo, Slimey Sam!" he said to my companion. "'Tisn't often you give us
a call without a little help from behind!"
Then, to my horror, the major-general cast subterfuge to the winds and
appeared in his true character.
"No," he said. "It took four of you blue worms to carry me in last time
I was here; but this is just a friendly visit. I've been doing a bit of
your work, in fact."
Instantly I perceived my position and made a dart for the door; but my
faithless companion was too quick for me.
"No, you don't, my little man!" he cried out, and grabbed me by the
collar as he did so. "This is the missing link," he said to the
policemen, and they were much interested instantly.
"The boy from Merivale?"
"Yes."
Several policemen hastened to the telephone, and one hurried off to the
main police-station of Exeter, and all was excitement, disorder and
confusion. Slimey Samuel--for this was the real name of the treacherous
and unfeeling man--told them the whole story in my hearing; but he
omitted the part about not being able to sell the telescope, and the
only thing that interested him personally was the question of the
reward.
And really there is not much more to add, because what my father said,
and what Dr. Dunstan said and did, and what Mannering said, and what the
bicycle people said, and what the other chaps said when I went back, is
none of it particularly interesting in a general way.
In fact, the only thing that would have been very interesting and that I
should really like to be able to tell, is what Slimey Samuel said when
he got his blood-money for giving me up to justice. He declared to the
police in my hearing that it ought to be good for a hundred quid at
least. But his nature was far too hopeful, and as a matter of fact he
only got two pounds from my father and an offer of honest work. He only
took the money; and I expect he felt rather bitter about it; and I felt
rather bitter about it in secret also; because it seemed to show that my
father did not put much value on me. Two pounds for a human life--let
alone your own son--is really rather little. No doubt my father will go
on thinking nothing of me till I am a man. Then, perhaps, the day may
come when I shall be able to show him that, after all, money is mere
dust in the balance against a son, who can do the sort of things I hope
and intend to do, when I grow up into manhood.
*THE GOOD CONDUCT PRIZE*
*No. XI*
*THE GOOD CONDUCT PRIZE*
*I*
Going through the school-room of the third, which is my own form, I
chanced to see Saunders minor and Fowle there; and, just as I passed
them, Saunders minor said that he wished he was dead.
This, from Saunders minor, was a bit out of the common, so I stopped and
asked him why. He said--
"It's only a manner of speaking, Thwaites; but, all the same, I do,
because of the Good Conduct Prize."
"Well," I said, "you're a snip for it; everybody knows that."
"Not now," he answered. "In fact, it's all up, and the silver watch and
chain are gone."
Of course, when young Saunders talked about a silver watch and chain, he
didn't mean Dr. Dunstan's footling Good Conduct Prize, which is always a
book of a particularly deadly kind, such as _Lays of Ancient Rome_; but
he meant the special prize his father had promised him if he won the
highest marks for good conduct in his class. And he was simply romping
home when this happened.
"Of course, it's that beast Foster," said Fowle. "I always hated Foster,
and now, knowing he couldn't win by fair means, he made that peculiar
face at Saunders just as the Doctor came in to say prayers last night;
and Saunders laughed, not knowing the Doctor had actually come in; and
the Doctor took off five conduct marks at one fell swoop."
"Foster must win now," said Saunders. "But it's a blackguard thing."
"And if Foster doesn't win, you will," said Fowle to me.
Curiously enough, this was true. I had been going rather strong on good
conduct this term for private reasons. In fact, my father had promised
me--not a silver watch--but a flogging, or very likely two, if I came
home again with a holiday punishment.
You must know that at Merivale there was a putrid system called 'holiday
punishments,' and if you didn't get a certain number of good conduct
marks in the term, instead of going home in glory with a good report,
you went home with a holiday punishment. Well, owing to one thing and
another, I had taken home a holiday punishment four terms running; and
my father began to get rather nasty about it. As a rule, he is a sort
of father who talks very ferociously but doesn't do much; therefore,
when he actually does flog me, which happens now and then, it comes as a
great and unpleasant surprise. And I felt, in the matter of the good
conduct marks, that if I went back with another holiday punishment, he
would certainly keep his word and flog me to the best of his power.
Therefore, I bucked up in a very unusual way, and though miles behind
Saunders minor and Foster, was miles in front of the others; and when
suddenly Fowle said this to me, that if Foster also smashed up as
Saunders had done, I must get the Good Conduct Prize in the third, I
felt quite giddy. Needless to say, I had never taken home a prize in my
life. In fact, it seemed almost too much. My people would never
believe it.
Of course, if such a thing really did happen, it would be a frightful
score off my father; but then there was Foster. He stood six clear
marks ahead of me, and unless some awful catastrophe overtook Foster, it
was impossible for me to catch him. Then it seemed to me as Foster, in
the most unsporting manner, had made his well-known comic face that
always forced Saunders minor to laugh, and so he had got ahead of
Saunders by a paltry trick, therefore it was only right that Foster
should be scored off too. Needless to say, I was quite prepared to
score off Foster myself; but then, very likely that would end by
smashing me up, so it seemed to me that the thing to do was to try and
get some outside person to score off Foster, like he had scored off
Saunders minor.
I thought a lot about it, but I couldn't see any way that was perfectly
sportsmanlike. Then Fowle, who is not sportsmanlike but very cunning,
said there was a way. I felt pretty certain his way must be mean and
piffling; but for once he thought of rather a good way. At least, it
seemed good to me.
"I can't do anything myself," Fowle said, "because the last time I was
interested in a fight, you will remember, the result was very unpleasant
for me; but all the same, in a case like this, there ought to be a
fight, and very likely if you explained in a perfectly friendly spirit
to Saunders minor that he owes it to himself to fight Foster, he will be
much obliged to you, and so into training for it."
Well, I was bound to admit that for once Fowle seemed to be right.
Because, if Saunders minor fought Foster, the marks of battle would
appear on Foster, even if he won; and they would be noticed by Browne,
who hates fighting, and always takes off half the term's good conduct
marks when he finds a chap who has clearly had a fight.
So I put it to Saunders minor.
I said, "I come in a perfectly friendly spirit, Saunders minor, and I
don't want to put you to any inconvenience with Foster. But, as he's
knocked you out of the Good Conduct Prize and your silver watch, which
your father may never offer again, as they often change their minds, you
have a frightful and bitter grievance against Foster."
"You may also add that Queen Anne is dead," said Saunders minor.
"I know," I said. "But the point is that I'm rather worried to see you
taking this lying down. It isn't worthy of the third. We've always been
a fighting form, and, in fact, you ought to resist this tooth and nail;
and I'd be your second like a shot; and West, the champion of the lower
school, would referee--to oblige me."
Saunders minor was a good deal interested.
"D'you think I ought to lick him?" he asked.
"I think you ought to try," I said; "and you might even succeed if you
went into training, and had a bit of luck."
Saunders minor thought. He was a pale, putty-coloured chap, and when he
thought, he frowned terrifically till his forehead got quite wrinkled
and old. There was also a very peculiar vein on his temple you could
see when he was thinking extra hard, but not at other times.
"The question is what I should gain," he said.
"Also what he would lose," I said. This was, of course, Fowle's idea,
but it came in jolly handy here.
"What can he lose unless I lick him?"
"Well, the beauty of it would be," I explained, "that if you licked him,
or if he licked you, it would be all the same as far as the Good Conduct
Prize is concerned. If you knock him about a bit and black an eye or
so, Browne will pounce upon him for certain, as well as you, and away go
half his conduct marks for the term, and bang goes the Good Conduct
Prize."
Saunders minor nodded.
"Did you think of this?" he asked.
"Yes," I said; "with help from Fowle."
"As a matter of fact, if this happened you'd get the Good Conduct Prize,
Thwaites," said Saunders minor.
"It seems rather a wild idea," I answered, "but as a matter of fact I
should--unless, of course, I come to grief myself before the end of the
term. I've had to be awful keen on conduct this term, owing to my
father, who has rather overdone it about conduct lately; and so I've
been piling up marks in a small way, but of course such a thing as a
good conduct prize is bang out of my line."
"Or any prize," added Saunders minor thoughtfully.
"Or any prize, as you truly say," I answered.
"Well, we've always been friendly enough," kindly remarked Saunders
minor.
Needless to say I agreed.
"It would, of course, be a terrific act of kindness on your part to me
if you knocked Foster out," I said; "and also it would be an act of
justice to yourself; and also it would be what is expected of third form
chaps."
"You speak as a fighter yourself," said Saunders minor.
"I am, of course, a great fighter," I said, "and have only once been
beaten, and that by West, who is a champion and nearly two years older
than me. But I believe you would be a very good fighter if you cared
about it."
"I never should care about it," said Saunders minor. "But the point is
Foster. Supposing he refuses to fight?"
"My dear chap," I said, "he couldn't. You've got a frightful grievance
against him. The sixth, when they heard, would mighty soon make him
fight."
"You'll second me, Thwaites, if it comes off?"
"Yes," I said. "Certainly I will."
Saunders minor began to think again, and his forehead became much
furrowed.
"I'm just wondering, if I explained to my father about it, whether he'd
still give me the watch if I succeeded in licking Foster," he said.
I told him that from what I knew of fathers like his it was very
unlikely, and he'd better not hope.
"I have heard you say that your father is a clergyman," I said. "Don't
buoy yourself up to think that he'll give you the watch if you lick
Foster. Far from it. In the case of Morrison it was very different.
His father always gave him half-a-crown if he went home with a black
eye, and Morrison generally managed to do so; but then his father was a
royal sea captain, and had commanded a first-class battleship. Your
father is religious, naturally, and against fighting for certain."
It happened that just at this moment Foster and some other chaps,
including his chum, Tin Lin Chow--commonly called 'Tinned Cow'--the
Chinaman, came by, and Saunders minor, in the excitement of the moment,
stopped Foster and spoke--
He said, "I've been thinking over losing the Good Conduct Prize, Foster;
and as it was your fault, something must be done."