"That's not the way of Stopford," I said. "He won't argue about it; but
he'll give you his sort of sermon when he gets you alone in a corner
some evening after dark. Preachers are often pretty nearly martyred
before they've done with it; and they die gladly; and very likely
Stopford will martyr you."
"Very likely he will," said Richmond minimus; but not as if he looked
forward to it.
*II*
Everybody in the lower school expected some pretty fearful things would
happen to Richmond, but instead a miracle seemed to occur and Stopford
did nothing. Gideon thought that he might have taken an action for
libel against Richmond minimus if he had been grown up, owing to young
Richmond's saying what he said about stealing sweets. It was well known
to be true, but Gideon said that, curiously enough in law it didn't
matter in the least if you said the truth. Because the law is often
down on the truth far worse than on a lie. But Stopford never mentioned
the matter again, and actually behaved kindly to Richmond and gave him
two new kinds of nibs for his nib collection. He also let him have a
picture of a very beautiful girl out of a box of cigarettes. I asked
Richmond minimus what he thought of it, and he said Stopford was
converted, and that Stopford was his first triumph. He was so earnest
and hopeful about it that I felt when he became a missionary and went
into those lands near the equator, that he wouldn't be contented with
converting niggers, but jolly well want to convert lions and everything.
Encouraged by the remarkable success of Stopford, Richmond minimus
preached several times more, and it got to be a regular lark, and chaps
came from the other houses to hear him. Stopford always came and took
it frightfully seriously; and then happened the row about Dr. Dunstan's
medlar tree, and Mr. Browne caught Stopford after dark and reported him,
and Mr. Mannering, the 'blue,' flogged Stopford at the order of the
Doctor.
Now this Browne was the least but one of all the masters, and without
doubt the utterest squirt that ever came to Merivale as a master. It is
true that he was a Cambridge man, but there was nothing more to be said
for him. Young Forrest, however, knew something more, for it happened
by a curious accident that he came from the same place that Mr. Browne
did. What it was that Forrest knew we couldn't understand; but it
appeared that Browne gave Forrest a great deal of help with his prep. on
condition that he would not mention it.
This man was very ignorant and could only teach kids, and even them he
didn't teach well. It was well known that he had many cribs in his
room, and often--especially when he had to take the fourth in
algebra--he would creep away from time to time and look at his crib
swiftly, and return, and do off a sum on the blackboard as if he had no
difficulty at all. He was great at having favourites, and he always
chose sneaks, and often turned on them afterwards, as he did on Fowle,
and also on Stopford over the medlars; though when caught, Stopford
solemnly swore to Browne that he was getting the medlars for him.
Anyway, nobody liked Browne, and when Stopford begged Richmond minimus
to preach against Browne, he thought a little and finally said that he
would.