_Mrs. Telfer._
Sitting down to table in my absence! [_To Telfer._] How is this, James?
_Telfer._
We are pressed for time, Violet, my love.
_Rose._
Very sorry, Mrs. Telfer.
_Mrs. Telfer._
[_Taking her place, between Arthur and Mrs. Mossop--gloomily._] A
strange proceeding.
_Rose._
Rehearsal was over so late. [_To Telfer._] You didn't get to the last
act till a quarter to one, did you?
_Avonia._
[_Taking off her hat and flinging it across the table to Colpoys._] Gus!
catch! Put it on the sofa, there's a dear boy. [_Colpoys perches the hat
upon his head, and behaves in a ridiculous, mincing way. Ablett is again
convulsed with laughter. Some of the others are amused also, but more
moderately._] Take that off, Gus! Mr. Colpoys, you just take my hat off!
[_Colpoys rises, imitating the manners of a woman, and deposits the hat
on the sofa._]
_Ablett._
Ho, ho, ho! oh, don't Mr. Colpoys! oh, don't, sir!
[_Colpoys returns to the table._]
_Gadd._
[_Quietly to Imogen._] It makes me sick to watch Colpoys in private
life. He'd stand on his head in the street, if he could get a ragged
infant to laugh at him. [_Picking the leg of a fowl furiously._] What I
say is this. Why can't an actor, in private life, be simply a gentleman?
[_Loudly and haughtily._] More tongue here!
_Ablett._
[_Hurrying to him._] Yessir, certainly, sir. [_Again discomposed by
some antic on the part of Colpoys._] Oh, don't, Mr. Colpoys! [_Going
to Telfer with Gadd's plate--speaking while Telfer carves a slice
of tongue._] I shan't easily forget this afternoon, Mr. Telfer.
[_Exhausted._] This 'll be something to tell Mrs. Ablett. Ho, ho! oh,
dear, oh, dear!
[_Ablett, averting his face from Colpoys, brings back Gadd's plate. By
an unfortunate chance, Ablett's glove has found its way to the plate and
is handed to Gadd by Ablett._]
_Gadd._
[_Picking up the glove in disgust._] Merciful powers! what's this!
_Ablett._
[_Taking the glove._] I beg your pardon, sir--my error, entirely.
[_A firm rat-tat-tat at the front door is heard. There is a general
exclamation. At the same moment Sarah, a diminutive servant in a
crinoline, appears in the doorway._]
_Sarah._
[_Breathlessly._] The kerridge has just drove up! [_Imogen, Gadd,
Colpoys, and Avonia go to the windows, open them, and look out. Mrs.
Mossop hurries away, pushing Sarah before her._]
_Telfer._
Dear me, dear me! before a single speech has been made.
_Avonia._
[_At the window._] Rose, do look!
_Imogen._
[_At the other window._] Come here, Rose!
_Rose._
[_Shaking her head._] Ha, ha! I'm in no hurry; I shall see it often
enough. [_Turning to Tom._] Well, the time has arrived. [_Laying down
her knife and fork._] Oh, I'm so sorry, now.
_Tom._
[_Brusquely._] Are you? I'm glad.
_Rose._
Glad! that is hateful of you, Tom Wrench!
_Arthur._
[_Looking at his watch._] The carriage is certainly two or three minutes
before its time, Mr. Telfer.
_Telfer._
Two or three-----! The speeches, my dear sir, the speeches! [_Mrs.
Mossop returns, panting._]
_Mrs. Mossop._
The footman, a nice-looking young man with hazel eyes, says the carriage
and pair can wait for a little bit. They must be back by three, to take
their lady into the Park----
_Telfer._
[_Rising._] Ahem! Resume your seats, I beg. Ladies and gentlemen-----
_Avonia._
Wait, waitl we're not ready!
[_Imogen, Gadd, Colpoys, and Avonia return to their places. Mrs. Mossop
also sits again. Ablett stands by the door._]
_Telfer._
[_Producing a paper from his breast-pocket._] Ladies and gentlemen, I
devoted some time this morning to the preparation of a list of toasts. I
now 'old that list in my hand. The first toast----
[_He pauses, to assume a pair of spectacles._]
_Gadd._
[_To Imogen._] He arranges the toast-list! he!
_Imogen._
[_To Gadd._] Hush!
_Telfer._
The first toast that figures 'ere is, naturally, that of The Queen.
[_Laying his hand on Arthur's shoulder._] With my young friend's chariot
at the door, his horses pawing restlessly and fretfully upon the stones,
I am prevented from enlarging, from expatiating, upon the merits of this
toast. Suffice it, both Mrs. Telfer and I have had the honor of acting
before Her Majesty upon no less than two occasions.
_Gadd._
[_To Imogen._] Tsch, tsch, tsch! an old story!
_Telfer._
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you--[_to Colpoys_]--the malt is with you,
Mr. Colpoys.
_Colpoys._
[_Handing the ale to Telfer._] Here you are, Telfer.
_Telfer._
[_Filling his glass. _] I give you The Queen, coupling with that toast
the name of Miss Violet Sylvester--Mrs. Telfer--formerly, as you
are aware, of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. Miss Sylvester has so
frequently and, if I may say so, so nobly impersonated the various
queens of tragedy that I cannot but feel she is a fitting person to
acknowledge our expression of loyalty. [_Raising his glass._] The Queen
I And Miss Violet Sylvester!
[_All rise, except Mrs. Telfer, and drink the toast. After drinking Mrs.
Mossop passes her tumbler to Ablett._]
_Ablett._
The Queen! Miss Vi'lent Sylvester!
[_He drinks and returns the glass to Mrs. Mossop. The company being
reseated, Mrs. Telfer rises. Her reception is a polite one._]
_Mrs. Telfer._
[_Heavily._] Ladies and gentlemen, I have played fourteen or fifteen
queens in my time---
_Telfer._
Thirteen, my love, to be exact; I was calculating this morning.
_Mrs. Telfer._
Very well, I have played thirteen of 'em. And, as parts, they are not
worth a tinker's oath. I thank you for the favor with which you have
received me.
[_She sits; the applause is heartier. During the demonstration Sarah
appears in the doorway, with a kitchen chair._]
_Ablett._
[_To Sarah._] Wot's all this?
_Sarah._
[_To Ablett._] Is the speeches on?
_Ablett._
H'on! yes, and you be h'off!
[_She places the chair against the open door and sits, full of
determination. At intervals Ablett vainly represents to her the
impropriety of her proceeding._]
_Telfer._
[_Again rising._] Ladies and gentlemen. Bumpers, I charge ye! The toast
I 'ad next intended to propose was Our Immortal Bard, Shakspere, and I
had meant, myself, to 'ave offered a few remarks in response----
_Gadd._
[_To Imogen, bitterly._] Ha!
_Telfer._
But with our friend's horses champing their bits, I am compelled--nay,
forced--to postpone this toast to a later period of the day, and to give
you now what we may justly designate the toast of the afternoon.
Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to lose, to part with, one of our
companions, a young comrade who came amongst us many months ago, who in
fact joined the company of the "Wells" last February twelvemonth, after
a considerable experience in the provinces of this great country.
_Colpoys._
Hear, hear!
_Avonia._
[_Tearfully._] Hear, hear! [_With a sob._] I detested her at first.
_Colpoys._
Order!
_Imogen._
Be quiet, 'Vonia!
_Telfer._
Her late mother an actress, herself made familiar with the stage from
childhood if not from infancy, Miss Rose Trelawny--for I will no longer
conceal from you that it is to Miss Trelawny I refer----
[_Loud applause._] Miss Trelawny is the stuff of which great actresses
are made.
_All._
Hear, hear!
_Ablett._
[_Softly._] 'Ear, 'ear!
_Telfer._
So much for the actress. Now for the young lady--nay, the woman, the
gyirl. Rose is a good girl----
[_Loud applause, to which Ablett and Sarah contribute largely. Avonia
rises and impulsively embraces Rose. She is recalled to her seat by a
general remonstrance._] A good girl----
_Mrs. Telfer._
[_Clutching a knife._] Yes, and I should like to hear anybody, man or
woman----!
_Telfer._
She is a good girl, and will be long remembered by us as much for her
private virtues as for the commanding authority of her genius. [_More
applause, during which there is a sharp altercation between Ablett and
Sarah._] And now, what has happened to "the expectancy and Rose of the
fair state"?
_Imogen._