_PROCULUS._
Why so frightened, sir, at a little trembling of the soil? Had the
Gods any appetite to swallow you, think you that they would trouble to
provide warnings for your escape?
_Se^{o.}_ I do pray you, my lord admiral, take me on board your galley
for to-night; only for to-night.
_Pro._ We are under Cæsar’s orders to sail for the Adriatic, sir; else
I might strain to make some cabin accommodation: but then that would be
for the ladies. Epicharis, help this gentleman to wine; he’s nervous:
some more drink, and I think he’ll be as brave as any of us.
_EPICHARIS._
’Twill be at my cost, your excellence.
_Pro._ Nay, I’ll cover that. Come, drink, sir, and cheer your soul.
That’s the only kindness I can do you.
_Se^{o.}_ Thank you, my lord, but I ... (_a rumbling heard._) Oh! oh!
there it is again.
_Ep._ (_to Senecio_). ’Tis safe enough in our court, sir; if you sit
from the walls.
_Pro._ And fill for me, fair hostess. Wilt not thou come aboard my ship?
_Ep._ Your ship, my lord?
_Pro._ ’Tis against the rules of the service: but they provide not for
these earthquakes.
_Ep._ Ha! ha! you jest, my lord.
_Pro._ We have no wars to occupy us: why should I not give shelter to
the ladies, that fear to be ashore?
_Ep._ That would not be me, my lord. We rode out worse shakings last
year. 160
_Pro._ Come, I’ll have thee come. Should Cæsar hear of it, I can take
care of myself. (_They talk._)
(_Mariners to each other._)
_FIRST MARINER._
He was a-acting of Niobby.
_SECOND MARINER._
Niobe, who was Niobe?
_THIRD MARINER._
A first-rate, went down with all hands off Andros, the year of
Claudius’ death.
_1st._ True, mate; that was our Niobby. But this was a Greek lady that
lost all her children at a clap; bad luck with her name!
_2nd._ The Emperor would have made to be her, as ’twere; was it?
_1st._ ’Twas a tragedy, look: and that’s just where it is. Everybody is
somebody else, and nothing’s as it should be.
_2nd._ That’s right: he were dressed out like a woman.
_1st._ Did ye not see him, nodding to the music, and throwing his hands
about? then he gets red in the face, then he should stoop down to catch
his breath, (_he acts_) then creening up again he should throw back his
head, and ei! ei! (_Screams. All laugh loudly._)
_Pro._ Hell and thunder! Silence there!
_MARINERS_ (_to themselves_).
Why, if we mayn’t laugh in the theater, nor out of it!
_Pro._ (_to Officers_). Here’s a gentleman, who would go to sea to
escape being shaken. Shall we take him a cruise?
_FIRST OFFICER._
Frightened by the earthquake, sir? I do not blame you.
_Se^{o.}_ When the gods shake your city, as a terrier does a rat.
_1st Off._ But how should the sea cure you? ’Tis their common plaything.
_Pro._ Indeed, sir, you would learn what heavings be. These land
movements are nought. What would you say to thirty feet up and down
three times a minute? with now your bows in the air and now your stern:
pitched now forward, now backward, now rolled from side to side; thrust
up to heaven till your brains are full of air, then sunk down till your
belly squirms, inside out, outside in! 201
_Se^{o.}_ Maybe, sir: but the roof will not fall on your head: the
waves do not crack your walls. Your ships being constructed mainly of
wood ...
_Pro._ But the rocks, sir, are mainly constructed of stone, upon which
if a wooden-constructed ship be driven, there’s no man that would not
pay his fortune down to set one foot on the most quakeful or boggy
ground ’twixt Ganges and Gades. And there be monsters, too, which,
though I have never seen them, will swallow, they say, your whole ship
at a gulp, as you do your wine.
(_The house trembles, some jars fall: all run to centre._)
_Se^{o.}_ There ’tis again! Oh! oh!
(_A great crash heard._)
_Mar._ Belay there!
_Se^{o.}_ Oh! oh! ye gods in heaven!
_1st Off._ Steady, my men, steady!
_Mar._ Ay, ay, sir.
_1st Off._ Order! To your seats!
_Ep._ Sit and drink, gentlemen. Wine shall be cheap to-day. The life in
the earth will crack my jars. A few more rumbles like that will drain
the cellars.
_1st Off._ (_to men_). We’re safe here as anywhere, lads; if you keep
an eye to the main-walls. It’s all plasterwork aloft.
_Enter Clitus._
_CLITUS._