_Chr._ I do not want you now: I know, sir, who you are.
The game is all played out. We have done with masquerades,
And personating others.
_Ph._ I may take it then I address
Chremes, and not Menedemus?
_Chr._ You do, sir; and be so kind
As now to restore me the money, which under a false pretence
You made me give you to-day.
_Ph._ ’Tis not the Persian custom. 1540
_Chr._ You and your Persian customs be hanged, sir; and I believe
You’re more than half to blame for all the impertinence
I have suffered to-day.
_Ph._ I am, sir; I came to make the confession;
But if you know it already, why do you spite your son?
I have been your guest to-day, & if I have overstrained
The liberty of the feast, I am ready in turn to pay
The penalty. In the name of Bacchus, disown and cast off me,
Disinherit me if you will. But him, your flesh & blood,
Pity and forgive.
_Men._ Yes, Chremes.
_ANTIPHILA._
O father, do give in!
_Chr._ Now that’s the first time, lass, you have called me father.
I see 1550
I shall have to yield.
_Ant._ O thank you.
_Chr._ Stay. If I do give in,
’Tis only on two conditions.
_Men._ I’ll answer for Pamphilus,
That he’ll accept them: what are they?
_Chr._ First, my forty pounds;
To get that back from Gorgo.
_Pam._ I can’t do that.
_Chr._ You can’t?
_Men._ You spent that money, Chremes, advanced it rather for me,
Thinking to do me a service. I’ll ask you let it be me
Who does it for you. I’ll gladly pay it: it is not lost.
Consider this condition fulfilled.
_Chr._ You are kinder far
To my boy than he has deserved.
_Men._ And what is the other matter?
_Chr._ This. He must marry.
_Pam._ Father!
_Chr._ I will not hear a word. 1560
_Men._ I’ll vouch for him that he will do it.
_Chr._ He does not say so himself.
_Pam._ No use,—impossible.
_Sost._ Can you hesitate, Pamphilus?
_Chr._ Nay, let him do as he likes.
_Men._ He’ll do it—everything.
_Sost._ This must seem strange at first & disagreeable,
Before you have even thought of it. When you know more of it,
You’ll like it.
_Pam._ I will, father.
_Chr._ Good! son: for though a wife
Is an evil, she is a necessary evil, and one to which
You will get accustomed in time. ’Tis more respectable too
To be married; and the only cure for a temper such as yours.
_Sost._ I’ll help you choose, my dear Pamphilus; I know who— 1570
That clever, charming girl, whom you’ll be in love with directly;
The orphan niece of our old neighbour, Phanocrates.
_Pam._ What, not that red-haired thing, with a mouth from
ear to ear,
And a little knob of a nose. I couldn’t.
_Chr._ Why, only see
How nice he has grown: it’s plain he means what he says now.
_Sost._ Why, I’m sure, Pamphilus, she is a pinnacle of perfection.
But I know another.
_Pam._ No, no; if I am to marry, be hanged!
I’ll choose for myself. I know of a girl will do very well.
_Sost._ Who is it?
_Pam._ Archonides’ daughter.
_Sost._ You c^d not have pleased me more.
_Chr._ My word! I do believe my wife & I are agreed
On something at last. O wonderful day!
_Sost._ Chremes, I knew 1581
’Twould end like this.
_Chr._ Now, wife! none of your prophecies.
Come in, come all to dinner.
_Pam._ Philolaches was asked;
May he come too?
_Chr._ Oh yes! if it’s the Persian custom.
I’ll bear no grudge to-day; come in, sir, with the rest,
And help to make us merry. This is THE FEAST OF BACCHUS.