"PUT HIM IN THE FOUNTAIN"
Mr. Binney had wished he was big and strong like his son. As a matter
of fact Lucius was quite a light weight, and although wiry and in good
condition, it was certain that he was quite incapable of fulfilling his
threat of knocking Piper's teeth down his throat, unless Piper allowed
him to do so without making any resistance, which was unlikely. Piper
was a great heavy lump of bone and muscle, over six feet high, and
quite as fit as Lucius, for the latter had been finally rejected for
the University boat, for this year at least, and had gone out of
training, while Piper was still playing football. These considerations
did occur to Lucius as he walked from his own rooms to those where
Piper carried on his editorial functions, but he was so angry that they
carried little weight with them. In the New Court he met Dizzy.
"Come up here with me," he said. "I've got a little job on."
Dizzy followed him up the staircase to Piper's rooms, talking volubly,
as was his wont; but Lucius gave him no answer.
Piper was discovered sitting at his table talking to Howden, who stood
with his back to the mantel-piece.
Lucius plunged into his business without any preface.
"Look here, sir," he said, "I've come about this stuff you've been
printing about me and my father. I'll trouble you to stop it, if you
don't mind."
Piper's face darkened. He was a bad-tempered man. He was also a
clever man, and having no reason to be alarmed at any possible violence
on Lucius's part, which he would rather have welcomed than otherwise,
he thought he might as well draw him into a battle of words and afford
his intellect some little amusement. So he choked down his temper and
said quietly:
"You are Mr. Binney, junior, I believe. You are not mentioned from one
end of the paper to the other, except as having had the chuck from the
'Varsity boat, and I don't see you've any reason to complain of that."
"That's a lie," said Lucius instantly. Piper started from his chair,
but sat down again and waited. "You know perfectly well," continued
Lucius hotly, "that that rot about Lucy and Girton is meant for me, and
even if it wasn't I object to your making fun of my father."
This was what Piper wanted. "Is the other Binney your father?" he said
with a sneer. "I didn't know it. If I had a father like that I'd
drown him."
Lucius made a dash forward, and Piper stood up with an evil smile on
his face. But Stubbs caught hold of his friend and pulled him back,
and Howden stepped forward.
"Oh, come now, Pips!" expostulated he, "don't overdo it, old man."
But Piper took no notice. He suddenly lost all control over his temper.
"What the devil do you mean by coming blustering here?" he shouted.
"Get out of my rooms this minute or I'll throw you out of the window.
Yes, you'd better keep him back, you putty-faced swab"--this to
Dizzy--"if he comes near me I'll put some marks on him that he won't
lose in a hurry."
Lucius shook off Dizzy's encircling grasp.
"Will you stop printing lies about me and my father?" he said.
"I won't stop anything," rejoined Piper.
"Then will you fight?"
"Fight! By G--, yes. Take off your coat and try."
Howden and Stubbs both tried to stop them, but they might as well have
tried to stop the tide rising. They were shaken off impatiently.
Piper pushed the table and sofa aside, and in less than three minutes
after Lucius had entered the room they were at it hammer and tongs.
There was not much science displayed. The room was too small, for one
thing, and there was a good deal of damage done to furniture and
breakables before it was all over. If Lucius had kept cool he might
have made up in some measure for the great disparity in weight between
them, for he knew just a little more of the game than Piper; but both
of them were blind with rage, and it was attack on both sides, with
very little defence, as long as it lasted.
It did not last long. Lucius fought as long as he could stand, but his
blows got weaker and weaker, while Piper got in again and again with as
much force as at first. At last he knocked Lucius clean through the
glass doors of a cupboard which held his stock of crockery, and he fell
heavily on to the floor, and lay there insensible, with the blood
pouring from his head. Piper had not had enough even to cool his
passion. "Get a towel and water from the bedroom," he said to Dizzy,
who was kneeling by the side of his friend. "And take him out of this
as soon as you can. I'm not going to stay in the same room with him."
And he put on his coat and went out of the room.
Howden stayed behind and helped to restore Lucius to consciousness.
"It's rot his tackling a chap like Pips," he said; "he's not in the
same class with him, and he's a demon when he's roused. I wouldn't
care to take him on myself."
"He's a d--d cad," said Dizzy, in deep concern, "and I don't care if he
hears me say so."
This was the only conversation that passed between them till Lucius
came round. Then they both helped him across to his own rooms in
Whewell's Court, which they reached with some difficulty, as Lucius was
dazed, and as weak as a kitten. Here the drama changed from tragedy to
farce, for Mr. Binney was waiting for them, and as soon as he saw the
state to which Lucius had been reduced he made such lamentations that
neither Dizzy nor Howden could help laughing.
"Oh, chuck it, Binney," said Howden. "He'll be all right when he gets
to bed."
"Go out and get a doctor, Mr. Binney," said Dizzy. "He's cut his head
with some broken glass, and we can't stop the bleeding."
Mr. Binney dashed out instantly in a frenzy of terror, and Howden and
Dizzy helped Lucius off with his clothes and into bed, where he lay
silent with his face to the wall, while the blood slowly oozed out from
under the bandages on his head and soaked into his pillow. The two
stood looking at him irresolutely.
"I'm all right now," said Lucius faintly, "you needn't wait." They
went into the sitting-room.
"Look here, sir," said Dizzy. "You must stop this business. It's gone
quite far enough."
"My dear fellow," said Howden, "I didn't have anything to do with it.
I told Piper he ought to stop it when Binney wrote to object,
because--well, because Binney ain't a bad old chap after all, and it's
rough on him. But he wouldn't, and it isn't likely he'll stop now,
after this."
"Well, if he won't stop it of his own accord, he'll have to be made
to," said Dizzy.
"I don't know who's going to make him," said Howden.
"Oh, I think we can manage that," said Dizzy.
Mr. Binney came back with a doctor, who patched up Lucius's damaged
head and told him to keep in bed until he should come again on the next
day. Mr. Binney kept fussing about the room wringing his hands over
the trouble that he had caused, and bewailing the smallness of his
stature which debarred him from visiting summary justice upon Piper for
the way he had treated his son. He was a ridiculous little object in
his grief, and his behaviour was not soothing to the nerves of a sick
man.
"Do get him away," whispered Lucius to Dizzy. "I want to go to sleep;"
and the latter, by the exercise of infinite tact, managed to remove Mr.
Binney from the premises. A short time afterwards, having seen that
Lucius was comfortably settled, he removed himself, and then set to
work to lay plans to circumvent Piper and cause the downfall of the
_New Court Chronicle_. First of all he went round to the rooms of an
influential member of the Third Trinity Boat Club, a man named Tait,
who was rowing "Seven" in the University boat. He found him at home,
and with him were Mirrilees, two other members of the University crew,
and our old acquaintance Blathgowrie. To them he confided his story,
which was received with interest and indignation, for Lucius was a
popular member of the boating set, between which and the clique
represented by Howden and Piper there happened to be a certain amount
of bad blood at that particular time.
"It's all the fault of that confounded little bantam," said
Blathgowrie, when Dizzy's tale had come to an end. "It's jolly good of
Lucy to fight his battles for him after the way he's treated him. I'm
hanged if I would."
"Those letters are the best thing in Piper's scurrilous rag," said
Tait. "It's a pity to stop them, but if Lucy objects--and I expect it
was more on his own account than his governor's--I think it's about
time the paper was suppressed. I've a good mind to take Mr. Piper on
myself."
"You can't do that," said Mirrilees quickly. "You might manage to lick
him, but even that is doubtful, and he'd damage you so that you
wouldn't be able to row for a day or two. Besides, if you licked him
once a week from now till the end of the term he wouldn't stop the
paper. He's not that sort."
"It's got to be stopped somehow," said Dizzy.
"Who publishes it?" asked Blathgowrie.
"Breedon," said Tait.
"Very well, then. We'll tell him to leave off, and if he don't we'll
boycott him. We can get everybody to go somewhere else for their
_menus_ and all those little jobs. He won't hesitate long between us
and Mr. Piper, I think."
Blathgowrie busied himself to some purpose, and submitted to Messrs.
Breedon & Co. a considerable list of gentlemen who proposed to transfer
their valuable custom if another number of the _New Court Chronicle_
appeared with Messrs. Breedon's name on the cover. The firm caved in
at once and intimated to the editor that he must find another
publisher. Piper made himself very objectionable, but Messrs. Breedon
& Co. were firm, and absolutely refused to bring out another number for
him. Piper had now got his back up and swore to go on publishing his
paper if he brought out every number at a loss. He found a more
obscure stationer than Messrs. Breedon & Co. who was willing to oblige
him, and went on with his editorial functions, throwing far more vigour
and malice into the next instalment of the "Binney Correspondence" than
he had done before.
Poor Lucius lay alone that afternoon in his comfortless college
bedroom. He was very miserable. He felt weak and ill, and his
thoughts took a melancholy turn. He had done no good by his single
combat with the redoubtable Piper; in fact, things would now probably
be worse than before. He had no energy to feel angry with his father,
but he saw the whole University pointing fingers of scorn at him, an
unpleasantness which might be expected to continue and increase as long
as he remained at Cambridge. The hope which he had entertained up to a
week ago of a place in the University boat no longer buoyed him up
against adversity. In his present state of depression he saw himself
missing everything that made Cambridge interesting to him, and heartily
wished himself away from the place altogether. His thoughts, nowadays,
seldom kept long away from the girl whom he had seen for the first time
last term, but there was not much comfort to be got out of thinking
about her. He had not been so fortunate this term as to have hit upon
a lecture which she attended, and no longer had the satisfaction of
sitting in the same room with her for an hour, twice a week. He had
discovered that she went to a lecture at St. John's College, and used
to hang about outside the gates on the chance of seeing her as she went
to and fro. But there are two ways between Newnham and St. John's, one
along Trinity Street and the King's Parade, the other past the backs of
the colleges, and after a time the uncomfortable conviction took hold
of Lucius that his divinity was taking a malicious delight in dodging
him. If he waited outside the big gate of St. John's, she went home by
the backs, and if he lay in wait on the Bridge of Sighs, she would go
through the town. And upon the rare occasions when he did meet her
face to face there was no sign that she was so much as aware of his
existence. Lying on his bed, with heavy heart and throbbing head, as
the light of the short winter afternoon slowly died, poor Lucius took
the gloomiest view of his chances of ever becoming better acquainted
with her.
Just as he had reached the lowest possible depths of depression,
Mirrilees and Tait came in to see him, and to sympathise. They told
him of Blathgowrie's strategy. They had not discovered yet that Piper
had circumvented it, and arranged to produce his paper from another
address.
"We're going to hoot Piper in hall to-night," said Tait, "and see if we
can't bring on a scrimmage afterwards. If we do, we'll put him in the
fountain. I expect he'll oblige us. He's a pugnacious beggar."
When they had gone, he received an unexpected visit from his cousin,
John Jermyn, who was much surprised to find him in bed, and hardly knew
how to express himself with reference to current events. In a small
way, in his own college, John Jermyn had suffered some annoyance from
his relationship to Mr. Binney, and was not particularly proud of it.
His shyness, however, prevented him from alluding to his cousin's
reputation. If he had done so, he might have discovered that Lucius,
in spite of his loyalty, was not very well pleased with his father at
that particular time.
"My mother is coming up next week for a few days," said Jermyn, "and I
came to ask you if you would lunch with us on Tuesday. There will only
be she and my sister from Newnham. You haven't met her yet."
"But surely, your sister is at Girton, isn't she?" said Lucius.
"No, Newnham," said Jermyn.
Lucius's heart suddenly lightened. Any connection with Newnham was
welcome to him, and opened up possibilities.
"Why, I went out to Girton to call on her," said Lucius; "they said she
was out."
"Rather lucky," said his cousin. "That's a Miss German with a G.
Well, then, you'll come on Tuesday, if you're well enough, at half-past
one."
"Yes, I'll come," said Lucius. "Thanks very much."
When his cousin had left him he found that his spirits had lightened
considerably. The visit of his friends had cheered him, for he had
thought that if he was to fight his father's battles for him he would
have to fight them alone, and it was pleasant to find that there were
others on his side. And the Newnham girl seemed to be nearer to him,
somehow, now he knew that she and his cousin were at the same college.
He began to build castles in the air. He knew that his cousin was in
her first year, and he thought that if his divinity had been in
Cambridge before last term, he must have noticed her; so the two were
of the same year, and probably friends. He might get to know her
through his cousin--though it was difficult to see how an introduction
could be brought about. At any rate he would be able to find out her
name, and that was something. He was rather sorry that he had refused
the invitation to the Norfolk Rectory at Christmas. He would make up
for it by cultivating his cousins now. He comforted himself with rosy
visions, and by-and-bye fell asleep. Mr. Binney came in after his
afternoon's work on the river was over, and went out again. Dizzy
crept in, looked at him, and crept away again on tiptoe. But still
Lucius slept on, and when he woke again about nine o'clock he was very
much better.
In the meantime the ill-feeling between the boating men and the
football players, fanned by Piper's treatment of Lucius, had burnt up
to a blaze. When Piper went into hall that night, a little late, there
was a chorus of groans and hisses as he passed the table where
Mirrilees and Tait sat. He stopped for an instant, and an ugly look
came over his face. The groans grew louder, and the dons turned round
and looked down the hall from their seats at the high tables. Then
Piper went to his place, the noise ceased and the dons, reassured,
turned to their dinner. But there were ominous whisperings and glances
at the table where Piper sat, and like signs at the table of the
boating men nearer the door. The latter finished their dinner early
and went out in a body. When they had got outside the door they waited
by the college screens. Men who belonged to neither faction dropping
out of hall one by one, looked with surprise at such an unexpected
gathering, and passed on. Some of them waited outside to see what
would happen. Before very long Piper came out, immediately followed by
Howden and the rest. He looked black when he saw the waiting crowd,
and then there was a curious pause. Bodily violence between
fellow-undergraduates is a rare thing unless arising spontaneously from
chance collisions of opposing factions. In this case there was plenty
of bad feeling, but no hot blood at present, and although both sides
were eager for a quarrel, nobody quite knew how to begin it. After a
moment's pause Piper went on towards the steps leading down to
Neville's Court. He looked a very ugly customer. Although Lucius had
not succeeded in doing him a fraction of the damage which he himself
had received, Piper had not got off quite unmarked. He had a black eye
and a swollen cheek bone. His temper was up, too, and he was probably
nearer the state of mind when a fight is a relief than any one there.
"Ugly bruiser!" remarked Tait as he passed.
Piper faced him instantly. "What's that, sir!" he asked angrily.
"I said you were an ugly bruiser, sir."
Piper aimed a savage blow at him before the words were well out of his
mouth. Tait had just time to parry it. There was no need for any
further introduction. Exactly where they were, with startled waiters
going to and fro from the kitchens to the hall, and the intermittent
stream of undergraduates passing through, the two parties fell upon one
another, and the noise of the combat rose above the clatter of plates
and the muffled swinging of the heavy doors, and reached the dons on
the dais at the other end of the hall. "Put him in the fountain,"
shouted Mirrilees, and the struggling mass surged slowly out of the
doorway and down the shallow flight of steps into the Great Court.
Blood was up now and there was no lack of sincerity in the blows that
were given and taken. Little groups of disinterested spectators looked
on at the strange spectacle of men of the same college, most of them
well known throughout the University for their prowess in different
branches of sport, fighting fiercely, and gradually drawing nearer to
the great stone fountain which rears its stately mass from one of the
grass plots. The boating men had a slight advantage in numbers, but
the footballers were, with some few exceptions, a heavier lot, and
progress was slow. Piper fought savagely and disabled one or two of
the men who were dragging him along, while his friends were mostly
engaged in a series of single combats round him. There is no knowing
how the battle would have ended. In spite of their slightly superior
force it is doubtful whether Mirrilees's and Tait's party could have
succeeded in inflicting the punishment on Piper which they intended.
But before they reached the fountain a little party of dons who had
been apprised of what was going on came running down the steps of the
hall towards the struggling and swaying mass. They were led by the
Senior Dean. "Stop this, gentlemen, stop this," he shouted, as he
reached them. A few of them stopped irresolutely. The rest paid no
attention to the order. It is doubtful if they heard it. The Senior
Dean, who was a man of resolution, threw himself among them, followed
by one or two of his companions. At first there was no result, except
that dons and undergraduates were mixed up together in one general
_melee_. But gradually the voice and energetic action of authority
began to tell. First one left off fighting and then another, until
Piper and the men who had got hold of him were the only ones still
left. Deprived of the assistance of his backers, Piper was carried
with a little run right up to the steps of the fountain, but there the
Dean and a few stalwart Fellows who were helping him managed to stop
them by sheer force, and the fight ceased, leaving a dishevelled
panting crowd of combatants facing one another, with the stern figure
of judicial vengeance master of the field. Names were taken, orders
given, and the crowd slowly dispersed. The boating men held the
conviction that if they had been left alone they would have done what
they meant to do and avenged the defeat Piper had administered to
Lucius. At any rate they had given him a lesson which he wouldn't
forget in a hurry. The football men made a great deal of the fact that
they had been overpowered by superior numbers. _They_ were also
greatly cheered by the conviction that they had given their opponents
something that they wouldn't forget in a hurry.
The sequel to the fracas was rather curious. It resulted in an entire
healing up of the feud that had arisen, no one quite knew how, for it
dated from before the issue of the _New Court Chronicle_. These
quarrels between two sets of men are rare in the University, but they
sometimes arise and continue for a year or so and then die away. This
one would have disappeared slowly in due course, because no two sets of
men can be said to be absolutely clear and distinct one from another,
but are merged at some points by friendships between their respective
members. But, the matter having been brought to a head by the quarrel
between Lucius and Piper, and the bad blood let off, the ill-feeling
disappeared as if by magic, and men who had fought with one another on
that night by the fountain might have been seen in one another's rooms
later on in the term the best of friends.
There was one exception to the general amicability. Piper, who was an
evil-tempered fellow, emerged from the tussle in a black rage, and
continued in it for much longer than a normally constituted man would
have found such a state of mind possible.
The Senior Dean being wise in his generation, and having a fairly
shrewd idea as to how the unseemly fracas had arisen, and what was
likely to be its result, dealt lightly with the offenders. There were
a good many official interviews and a few "gates," and then the matter
was allowed to drop. None of the combatants actually told him in so
many words what had been the immediate origin of the fray, but Mr.
Binney having discovered the day after that Piper was more determined
than ever to continue the publication of his paper, had paid an early
visit to the Dean and asked him to suppress it officially. He had
brought the term's numbers already issued with him, and the Dean
gravely perused the "Binney Correspondence" then and there, while the
object of it sat uneasily before him watching his face.
"I don't defend this, Mr. Binney," said the Dean, laying down the
papers on his table when he had finished them. "A great deal of it is
very offensive. But, you know, you've got yourself to thank for most
of it.
"I know--I know," said poor little Mr. Binney, whose cock-sureness in
his treatment of Deans and Tutors had been considerably reduced of
late. "A good deal of it might fairly have been said of me last term.
But it isn't true of me now. With the exception of a dinner in my
rooms on the second night of the term, after which occurred some
insubordination for which I was not responsible, nothing of the sort
mentioned here has happened. I have been one of the quietest men in
the college. It is my fixed intention to bring an action for libel
against this man Piper," he continued, with a slight return to his
former manner, "if this goes on, and if you don't see your way of
stopping it, sir. It is intolerable."
"You will not find it necessary to do that, Mr. Binney," said the Dean.
"I will see that it is stopped. You had better leave these papers with
me."
It did not add to Piper's amiability when it came to his turn to be
interviewed, to be told by the Dean that he had perused several numbers
of the _New Court Chronicle_, and that it was about time that
publication came to an end. He allowed Piper to argue the point, but
when he found that they were no nearer an agreement on it than before,
he told him peremptorily that he had made up his mind that the paper
should be stopped, and stopped it must be. He pointed out several
offensive articles aimed at the authorities of the University and
Colleges, and alluded very little to the "Binney Correspondence," and
finally found it necessary to tell Mr. Piper that he might choose
between publishing another number of the paper and remaining at
Cambridge.
So the _New Court Chronicle_ came to an end, and neither Mr. Binney nor
Lucius suffered any further annoyances from the printed expression of
Piper's malice. The effects of the hitherto published instalments of
the "Binney Correspondence," however, did not end there as far as Mr.
Binney was concerned, as will afterwards, appear.