At another time I might have recognized the danger of my post; but my
patient had become so childish-looking, and her mind, enfeebled by
delirium, was in so childish a condition, that it seemed to me I little
more than tending some young girl whose age was far below my own. I did
not trouble myself, moreover, with any exact introspection. There was an
under-current of satisfaction and happiness running through the hours
which I was not inclined to fathom. The winds continued against me, and
I had nothing to do but to devote myself to mam'zelle, as I called her
in common with the people about me. She was still so far in a precarious
state that, if she had been living in Guernsey, it would have been my
duty to pay to her unflagging attention.
But upon Friday afternoon Tardif, who had been down to the Creux Harbor,
brought back the information that one of the Sark cutters was about to
venture to make the passage across the Channel the next morning, to
attend the Saturday market, if the wind did not rise again in the night.
It was clear as day what I must do. I must bid farewell to my patient,
however reluctant I might be, with a very uncertain prospect of seeing
her again. A patient in Sark could not have many visits from a doctor in
Guernsey.
She was recovering with the wonderful elasticity of a thoroughly sound
constitution; but I had not considered it advisable for her even to sit
up yet, with her broken arm and sprained ankle. I took my seat beside
her for the last time, her fair, sweet face lying upon the pillow as it
had done when I first saw it, only the look of suffering was gone. I had
made up my mind to learn something of the mystery that surrounded her;
and the child, as I called her to myself, was so submissive to me that
she would answer my questions readily.
"Mam'zelle," I said, "I am going away to-night. You will be sorry to
lose me?"
"Very, very sorry," she answered, in her low, touching voice. "Are you
obliged to go?"
If I had not been obliged to go, I should then and there have made a
solemn vow to remain with her till she was well again.
"I must go," I said, shaking off the ridiculous and troublesome idea. "I
have been away nearly six days. Six days is a long holiday for a
doctor."
"It has not been a holiday for you," she whispered, her eyes fastened
upon mine, and shining like clear stars.
"Well," I repeated, "I must go. Before I go I wish to write to your
friends for you. You will not be strong enough to write yourself for
some days, and it is quite time they knew what danger you have been in.
I have brought a pen and paper, and I will post the letter as soon as I
reach Guernsey."
A faint flush colored her face, and she turned her eyes away from me.
"Why do you think I ought to write?" she asked at length.
"Because you have been very near death." I answered. "If you had died,
not one of us would have known whom to communicate with, unless you had
left some direction in that box of yours, which is not very likely."
"No," she said, "you would find nothing there. I suppose if I had died
nobody would ever have known who I am. How curious that would have
been!"
Was she amused, or was she saddened by the thought? I could not tell.
"It would have been very painful to Tardif and to me," I said. "It must
be very painful to your friends, whoever they are, not to know what has
become of you. Give me permission to write to them. There can scarcely
be reasons sufficient for you to separate yourself from them like this.
Besides, you cannot go on living in a fisherman's cottage; you were not
born to it--"
"How do you know?" she asked, quickly, with a sharp tone in her voice.
It was somewhat difficult to answer that question. There was nothing to
indicate what position she had been used to. I had seen no token of
wealth about her room, which was as homely as any other cottage chamber.
Her conversation had been the simple, childish talk of an invalid
recovering from a serious illness, and had scarcely proved her to be an
educated person. Yet there was something in her face and tones and
manner which, as plainly to Tardif as to me, stamped this runaway girl
as a lady.
"Let me write to your friends," I urged, waiving the question. "It is
not fit for you to remain here. I beg of you to allow me to communicate
with them."
Her face quivered like a child's when it is partly frightened and partly
grieved.
"I have no friends," she said; "not one real friend in the world."
An almost irresistible inclination assailed me to fall on my knees
beside her, as I had seen Tardif do, and take a solemn oath to be her
faithful servant and friend as long as my life should last. This, of
course, I did not do; but the sound of the words so plaintively spoken,
and the sight of her quivering face, rendered her a hundredfold more
interesting to me.
"Mam'zelle," I said, taking her hand in mine, "if ever you should need a
friend, you may count upon Martin Dobrée as one as true as any you could
wish to have. Tardif is another. Never say again you have no friends."
"Thank you," she answered, simply. "I will count you and Tardif as my
friends. But I have no others, so you need not write to anybody."
"But what if you had died?" I persisted.
"You would have buried me quietly up there," she answered, "in the
pleasant graveyard, where the birds sing all day long, and I should have
been forgotten soon. Am I likely to die, Dr. Martin?"
"Certainly not," I replied, hastily; "nothing of the kind. You are going
to get well and strong again. But I must bid you good-by, now, since you
have no friends to write to. Can I do any thing for you in Guernsey? I
can send you any thing you fancy."
"I do not want any thing," she said.
"You want a great number of things," I said; "medicines, of course--what
is the good of a doctor who sends no medicine?--and books. You will have
to keep yourself quiet a long time. You would like some books?"
"Oh, I have longed for books," she said, sighing; "but don't buy any;
lend me some of your own."
"Mine would be very unsuitable for a young lady," I answered, laughing
at the thought of my private library. "May I ask why I am not to buy
any?"
"Because I have no money to spend in books," she said.
"Well," I replied, "I will borrow some for you from the ladies I know.
We will not waste our money, neither you nor I."
I stood looking at her, finding it harder to go away than I had
supposed. So closely had I watched the changes upon her face, that every
line of it was deeply engraved upon my memory. Other and more familiar
faces seemed to have faded in proportion to that distinctness of
impression. Julia's features, for instance, had become blurred and
obscure, like a painting which has lost its original clearness of tone.
"How soon will you come back again?" asked the faint, plaintive voice.
Clearly it did not occur to her that I could not pay her a visit without
great difficulty. I knew how it was next to an impossibility to get over
to Sark, for some time at least; but I felt ready to combat even
impossibilities.
"I will come back," I said--"yes, I promise to come back in a week's
time. Make haste and get well before then, mam'zelle. Good-by, now;
good-by."
I was going to sleep at Vaudin's Inn, near to Creux Harbor, from which
the cutter would sail almost before the dawn. At five o'clock we started
on oar passage--a boat-load of fishermen bound for the market. The cold
was sharp, for it was still early in March, and the easterly wind
pierced the skin like a myriad of fine needles. A waning moon was
hanging in the sky over Guernsey, and the east was growing gray with the
coming morning. By the time the sun was fairly up out of its bed of
low-lying clouds, we had rounded the southern point of Sark, and were in
sight of the Havre Gosselin. But Tardif's cottage was screened by the
cliffs, and I could catch no glimpse of it, though, as we rowed onward,
I saw a fine, thin column of white smoke blown toward us. It was from
his hearth, I knew, and, at this moment, he was preparing an early
breakfast for my invalid. I watched it till all the coast became an
indistinct outline against the sky.