If I'd have had a bit more time to think it over I might have been able
to figure it out. But it wasn't until this cop brought Panda down to my
dressing room that I found out just what had happened.
"Freddy," this cop said, sticking his head in, "there's a young babe
with striped hair out here. This young babe is a very excited young
babe. She says she has to see you."
Panda pushed her way in before I could answer. Her face was almost as
white as that distinctive streak in her hair.
"Freddy," she squealed, "are you all right?"
I was getting fed up with that question. It just wasn't normal for
people to keep asking it. "Of course I'm all right," I snapped.
"But, Freddy," she wailed, "he might have killed you!"
I had to laugh. "You mean Arnie?" I snickered. "Why Arnie wouldn't hurt
a fly. Besides, it's against the rules for clean-cut American kids to
wrestle rough."
"I mean Dr. MacCluett," she squalled. "That was a very dangerous
operation he performed on you. He might have done an irreparable injury
to your poor little brain."
In all my life I had never heard such a silly statement.
"Panda, I got to tell you something," I sighed. "Even that bear in that
carnival couldn't damage my brain. He beat both paws to a pulp on my
head, and then said to hell with it. We used to call that bear 'Old
Limpy.'"
She didn't appear to be paying an awful lot of attention to what I
was saying. "Dr. MacCluett confessed everything," she went on in a
tremulous voice. "He really was jealous of you. So he decided to
modify your waveform. He used an ultrasonic beam to perform a sort of
transorbital lobotomy and make you lovable."
* * * * *
It didn't seem like a strictly sensible thing for a smart man like Dr.
MacCluett to do. Still, I guess having a high I.Q. doesn't necessarily
guarantee a man against being a complete jerk in certain things.
"Why, that poor stupid genius!" I chuckled.
Leo let out a strangled roar. "Freddy," he bellowed, "what is this
pinto Ph.D. saying? Is she saying you have let some wacky scientist
tamper with your putrid personality?"
That wacky scientist had tampered all right. There wasn't much point
in denying it, so I just raised my eyebrows like a furry pair of
humpbacked Japanese bridges.
Panda drew a long shuddering breath and began to close in on me. "When
Dr. MacCluett made that wave shift," she murmured, "he overlooked the
fact that there is but a very thin line separating love and hate. He--"
She reached up suddenly and slipped her arms around my neck. "Oh-h-h,
Fred--dy!" she cooed.
It was a pleasant sensation. I mean, it was a sort of change from
having drinks sloshed over you. For a moment there I began to think
science was wonderful. I still hadn't had time to realize my career
had just gone down in flames. I still didn't know what an appalling
experience being a lovable character was going to turn out to be.