CHAPTER XLV

STRANGE RESULT OF A QUARREL

The next afternoon Audrey sat nervous and expectant, but highly finished,

in her drawing-room at the Hôtel du Danube. Miss Ingate had gone out,

pretending to be quite unaware that she had been sent out. The more

detailed part of Audrey's toilette had been accomplished subsequent to Miss

Ingate's departure, for Audrey had been at pains to inform Miss Ingate that

she, Audrey, was even less interested than usual in her appearance that

afternoon. They were close and mutually reliable friends; but every

friendship has its reservations. Elise also was out; indeed, Miss Ingate

had taken her.

Audrey had the weight of all the world on her, and so long as she was alone

she permitted herself to look as though she had. She had to be wise, not

only for Audrey Moze, but for others. She had to be wise for Musa, whose

failure, though the newspapers all spoke (at about twenty francs a line) of

his overwhelming success, was admittedly lamentable; and she hated Musa;

she confessed that she had been terribly mistaken in Musa, both as an

artist and as a man; still, he was on her mind. She had to be wise about

her share in the new campaign of Rosamund, which, while not on her mind,

was on her conscience. She had to be wise about the presumable loss of her

fortune; she had telegraphed to Mr. Foulger early that morning for

information, and an answer was now due. Finally she had to be wise for Mr.

Gilman, whose happiness depended on a tone of her voice, on a single

monosyllable breathed through those rich lips. She looked forward with

interest to being wise for Mr. Gilman. She felt capable of that. The other

necessary wisdoms troubled her brow. She seemed to be more full of

responsibility and sagacity than any human being could have been expected

to be. She was, however, very calm. Her calmness was prodigious.

Then the bell rang, and she could hear one of the hotel attendants open the

outer door with his key. Instantly her calmness, of which she had been so

proud, was dashed to pieces and she had scarcely begun in a hurry to pick

the pieces up and put them together again when the attendant entered the

drawing-room. She was afraid, but she thought she was happy.

Only it was not Mr. Gilman the attendant announced. The man said:

"Mademoiselle Nickall."

Audrey said to herself that she must get Nick very quickly away. She was in

no humour to talk even to Nick, and, moreover, she did not want Nick to

know that Mr. Gilman was calling upon her.

Miss Nickall was innocent and sweet. Good nature radiated from her soft,

tired features, and was somehow also entangled in her fluffy grey hair. She

kissed Audrey with affection.

"I've just come to say good-bye, you dear!" she said, sitting down and

putting her check parasol across her knees. "How lovely you look!"

"Good-bye?" Audrey questioned. "Do I?"

"I have to cross for England to-night. I've had my orders. Rosamund came

this morning. What about yours?"

"Oh!" said Audrey. "I don't take orders. But I expect I shall join in, one

of these days, when I've had everything explained to me properly. You see,

you and I haven't got the same tastes, Nick. You aren't happy without a

martyrdom. I am."

Nick smiled gravely and uncertainly.

"It's very serious this time," said she. "Hasn't Rosamund spoken to you

yet?"

"She's spoken to me. And I've spoken to her. It was deuce, I should say. Or

perhaps my 'vantage. Anyhow, I'm not moving just yet."

"Well, then," said Nick, "if you're staying in Paris, I hope you'll keep an

eye on Musa. He needs it. Tommy's going away. At least I fancy she is. We

both went to see him this morning."

"Both of you!"

"Well, you see, we've always looked after him. He was in a terrible state

about last night. That's really one reason why I called. Not that I'd have

gone without kissing you----"

She stopped. There was another ring at the bell. The attendant came in with

great rapidity.

"I'm lost!" thought Audrey, disgusted and perturbed. "Her being here will

spoil everything."

But the attendant handed her a card, and the card bore the name of Musa.

Audrey flushed. Almost instinctively, without thinking, she passed the card

to Nick.

"My land!" exclaimed Nick. "If he sees me here he'll think I've come on

purpose to talk about him and pity him, and he'll be just perfectly

furious. Can I get out any other way?" She glanced interrogatively at the

half-open door of the bedroom.

"But I don't want to see him, either!" Audrey protested.

"Oh! You must! He'll listen to sense from you, perhaps. Can I go this way?"

Impelled to act in spite of herself, Audrey took Nick into the bedroom, and

as soon as Musa had been introduced into the drawing-room she embraced Nick

in silence and escorted her on tiptoe through Miss Ingate's bedroom to the

vestibule and waved an adieu. Then she retraced her steps and made a grand

entry into the drawing-room from her own bedroom. She meant to dispose of

Musa immediately. A meeting between him and Mr. Gilman on her hearthrug

might involve the most horrible complications.

The young man and the young woman shook hands. But it was the handshaking

of bruisers when they enter the ring, and before the blood starts to flow.

"Won't you please sit down?" said Audrey. He was obliged now to obey her,

as she had been obliged to obey him on the previous afternoon in the Rue

Cassette.

If Audrey looked as though the whole world was on her shoulders, Musa's

face seemed to contradict hers and to say that the world, far from being on

anybody's shoulders, had come to an end. All the expression of the

violinist showed that in his honest conviction a great mundane calamity had

occurred, the calamity of course being that his violin bow had not caused

catgut to vibrate in such a way as to affect the ears of a particular set

of people in a particular manner. But in addition to this sense of a

calamity he was under the influence of another emotion--angry resentment.

However, he sat down, holding firmly his hat, gloves, and stick.

"I saw my agent this morning," said he, in a grating voice, in French. He

was pale.

"Yes?" said Audrey. She suddenly guessed what was coming, and she felt a

certain alarm, which nevertheless was not entirely disagreeable.

"Why did you pay for that concert, and the future concerts, without telling

me, Madame?"

"Paid for the concerts?" she repeated, rather weakly.

"Yes, Madame. To do so was to make me ridiculous--not to the world, but to

myself. For I believed all the time that I had succeeded in gaining the

genuine interest of an agent who was prepared to risk money upon the proper

exploitation of my talent. I worked in that belief. In spite of your

attitude to me I did work. Your antipathy was bad for me; but I conquered

myself, and I worked. I had confidence in myself. If last night I did not

have a triumph, it was not because I did not work, but because I had been

upset--and again by you, Madame. Even after the misfortune of last night I

still had confidence, for I knew that the reasons of my failure were

accidental and temporary. But I now know that I was living in a fool's

paradise, which you had kindly created for me. You have money. Apparently

you have too much money. And with money you possess the arrogance of

wealth. You knew that I had accepted assistance from good friends. And you

thought in your arrogance that you might launch me without informing me of

your intention. You thought it would amuse you to make a little fairy-tale

in real life. It was a negligent gesture on the part of a rich and idle

woman. It cost you nothing save a few bank-notes, of which you had so many

that it bored you to count them. How amusing to make a reputation! How

charitable to help a starving player! But you forgot one thing. You forgot

my dignity and my honour. It was nothing to you that you exposed these to

the danger of the most grave affront. It was nothing to you that I was

received just as though I had been a child, and that for months I was made,

without knowing it, to fulfil the rôle of a conceited jackanapes. When one

is led to have confidence in oneself one is tempted to adopt a certain tone

and to use certain phrases, which may or may not be justified. I yielded to

the temptation. I was wrong, but I was also victimised. This morning, with

a moment's torture under the impertinent tongue of a rascally impresario, I

paid for all the spurious confidence which I have felt and for all the

proud words I have uttered. I came to-day in order to lay at your feet my

thanks for the unique humiliation which I owe to you."

His mien was undoubtedly splendid. It ought to have cowed and shamed

Audrey. But it did not. She absolutely refused to acknowledge, even within

her own heart, that she had committed any wrong. On the contrary, she

remembered all the secret sympathy which she had lavished on Musa, all her

very earnest and single-minded desires for his apotheosis at the hands of

the Parisian public; and his ingratitude positively exasperated her. She

was aroused. But she tried to hide the fact that she was roused, speaking

in a guarded and sardonic voice.

"And did this agent of yours--I do not know his name--tell you that I was

paying for the concert--I mean, the concerts?" she demanded with an air of

impassivity. "He did not give your name."

"That's something," Audrey put in, her body trembling. "I am much obliged

to him."

"But he clearly indicated that money had been paid--that he had not paid it

himself--that the enterprise was not genuine. He permitted himself to sneer

until I corrected him. He then withdrew what he had said and told me that I

had misunderstood. But he was not convincing. It was too late. And I had

not misunderstood. Far from that, I had understood. At once the truth

traversed my mind like a flash of lightning. It was you who had paid."

"And how did you guess that?" She laughed carelessly, though she could not

keep her foot from shaking on the carpet.

"I knew because I knew!" cried Musa. "It explained all your conduct, your

ways of speaking to me, your attitude of a schoolmistress, everything. How

ingenuous I have been not to perceive it before!"

"Well," said Audrey firmly. "You are wrong. It is absolutely untrue that I

have ever paid a penny, or ever shall, to any agent on your behalf. Do you

hear? Why should I, indeed! And now what have you to reply?"

She was aware of not the slightest remorse for this enormous and

unqualified lie. Nay, she held it was not a lie, because Musa deserved to

hear it. Strange logic, but her logic! And she was much uplifted and

enfevered, and grandly careless of all consequences.

"You are a woman," said Musa curtly and obstinately.

"That, at any rate, is true."

"Therefore I cannot treat you as a man."

"Please do," she said, rising.

"No. If you were a man I should call you out." And Musa rose also. "And I

should be right. As you are a woman I have told you the truth, and I can do

no more. I shall not characterise your denial. I have no taste for

recrimination. Besides, in such a game, no man can be the equal of a woman.

But I maintain what I have said, and I affirm that I know it to be true,

and that there is no excuse for your conduct. And so I respectfully take

leave." He moved towards the door and then stopped. "There never had been

any excuse for your conduct to me," he added. "It has always been the

conduct of a rich and capricious woman who amused herself by patronising a

poor artist."

"You may be interested to know," she said fiercely, "that I am no longer

rich. Last night I heard that my fortune is gone. If I have amused myself,

that may amuse you."

"It does amuse me," he retorted grimly and more loudly. "I wish that you

had never possessed a son. For then I might have been spared many mournful

hours. All would have been different. Yes! From three days ago when I saw

you walking intimately in the Tuileries Gardens with the unspeakable

Gilman--right back to last year when you first, from caprice, did your best

to make me love you--did it deliberately, so that all the Quarter could

see!"

In a furious temper Audrey rushed past Musa to the door, and stood with her

back to it, palpitating. She vaguely recalled a similar movement of hers

long ago, and the slightly comic figure of Mr. Foulger flitted through her

memory.

"You shall apologise for that! You shall apologise before you leave this

room!" she exploded. Her chin was aloft and her mouth remained open. "I say

you shall apologise for that monstrous untruth!"

He approached her, uttering not a word. She was quite ready to kill him.

She had no fear of anything whatever. Not once since his arrival had she

given one thought to the imminent advent of Mr. Gilman.

She said to herself, watching Musa intently:

"Yes, he shall apologise. It is shameful, what he says. It's worse than

horrid. I am as strong as he is."

Musa dropped his hat, stick and gloves. The hat, being English and hard,

bounced on the carpet. Then he put his trembling arms around her waist, and

his trembling lips came nearer and nearer to hers.

She thought, very puzzled:

"What is happening? This is all wrong. I am furious with him! I will never

speak to him again! What is he doing? This is all wrong. I must stop it.

I'm saying nothing to him about my career, and my independence, and how

horrid it is to be the wife of a genius, and all that.... I must stop it."

But she had no volition to stop it.

She thought:

"Am I fainting?"

* * * * *

It was upon this scene that Mr. Gilman intruded. Mr. Gilman looked from

one to the other. Perhaps the thought in his mind was that if they added

their ages together they could not equal his age. Perhaps it was not. He

continued to look from one to the other, and this needed some ocular

effort, for they were as far apart as two persons in such a situation

usually get when they are surprised. Then he caught sight of the hat, stick

and gloves on the floor.

"I've been expecting you for a long time," said Audrey, with that

miraculous bland tranquillity of which young girls alone have the secret

when the conventions are imperilled. "I was just going to order tea."

Mr. Gilman hesitated and then replied:

"How kind of you! But please don't order tea for me. The--er--fact is, I

have been unexpectedly called away, and I only called to explain

that--er--I could not call." After all, he was a man of some experience.

She let him go. His demeanour to Musa, like Musa's to him, was a marvel of

high courtesy.

"Musa," said Audrey, with an intimidated, defiant, proud smile, when the

door had shut on Mr. Gilman, "I am still frightfully angry with you. If we

stay here I shall suffocate. Let us go out for a walk. Besides, other

people might call."

Simultaneously there was another ring. It was a cable. She read:

"Sold Zacatecas at an average of six and a quarter dollars three weeks ago.

Wrote you at length to Wimereux. Writing again as to new investments.

"FOULGER."

"This comes of having no fixed address," she said, throwing the blue

cablegram carelessly down in front of Musa. "I'm not quite ruined, after

all. But I might have known--with Mr. Foulger." Then she explained.

"I wish----" he began.

"No, you don't," she stopped him. "So you needn't start on that line. You

are brilliant at figures. At least I long since suspected you were. How

much is one hundred and eighty thousand times six and a quarter?"

Notwithstanding his brilliance, it took two pencils, two heads, and one

piece of paper to solve the problem. They were not quite certain, but the

answer seemed to be £225,000 in English money.

"We cannot starve," said Audrey, and then paused.... "Musa, are we

friends? We shall quarrel horribly. Do you know, I never knew that

proposals of marriage were made like that!"

"I have not told you one thing," said Musa. "I am going to play in Germany,

instead of further concerts in Paris. It is arranged."

"Not in Germany," she pleaded, thinking of Ziegler.

"Yes, in Germany," said Musa masterfully. "I have a reputation to make. It

is the agent who has suggested it."

"But the concerts in London?"

"You are English. I wish not to wound you."

When Audrey stood up again, she had to look at the floor in order to make

sure that it was there. Once she had tasted absinthe. She had had to take

the same precaution then.

"Stop! I entreat thee!" said Musa suddenly, just as, all arrayed in her

finery, she was opening the door for the walk.

"What is it?"

He kissed her, and with his lips almost on hers he murmured:

"Thou shalt not go out without avowing. And if thou art angry--well, I

adore thy anger. The concerts were ... thy enterprise? I guessed well?"

"You see," she replied like a shot, "you weren't sure, although you

pretended you were."

In the Rue de Rivoli, and in the resplendent Champs Elysées they passed

column after column of entertainment posters. But the name of Musa had been

mysteriously removed from all of them.

The Lion's Share · 第 45 / 46 章