It is impossible for me to express how much your last letter
surprized and grieved me; as well from the particular contents of it,
as from the general strain of resentment & dis-satisfaction which
runs thro' the whole. To be accused of neglect, of indifference, of
unjust insinuations are reproaches, which I can only bear because I
am conscious of not having deserved them. I wish to look forwards,
& if at any time I look back, it is only where such a retrospect,
however unpleasant, becomes necessary.
Our Deed of Trust has ever been considered by us all as the Great
Basis of our future conduct, & Mr. Porten, by our mutual consent.
We were to empower them to sell the Hampshire and Bucks Estates, &
to reconvey to us the Remainder (after payment of Debts, &c.) on
certain conditions, which have been more than once explained. Such
was the clear sense of this Deed, which I thought had been long since
understood by us all. Indeed to put that sense into a Legal form was
not in our power. Southouse is doing that, and it was thought as
necessary as it is usual, that the Attorney's work should be revised
by a Lawyer of some note, Mr. Pechell, a Master in Chancery and
particular friend of Mr. Porten. To these four persons only, the two
Trustees, one Attorney and one Council, has the affair been exposed.
[Sidenote: HIS FATHER'S SCHEME IMPRACTICABLE.]
With regard to my possessing the Buckinghamshire Estate in fee,
irrevocably charged with your annuity and Mrs. G.'s jointure; it
was what, after the maturest consideration & the most disinterested
advice, I cannot depart from. Should I ever be idiot enough to sell
it whilst so heavily burdened, no such act could in the least affect
your settled annuity or Mrs. G.'s jointure. I am however willing
to give you my word of honor, that I will never sell or mortgage
any part of it during your life; and that I will immediately make a
Will, by which (supposing I should die without children before you)
I leave the Estate to you in fee simple. If any legal restraints can
be devised, (other than such as make me for ever a meer life Tenant)
I will consent to them with pleasure: I will do more, I will try to
discover them.
So far, Dear Sir, from neglecting our immediate occasion for money,
the Trustees are impowered to borrow whatever sums may be wanted
before the Estates can be disposed of. But I must add that till the
Deed is executed nothing can be done, and that you are therefore
the Cause of the Delays with which you reproach us. I am the more
sensible of a speedy dispatch as the Chancery affair cannot be put
off much longer.
I am, Dear Sir,
Most truly yours,
E. GIBBON.
63.
_To his Father._
London, March the 31st, 1769.