I scarce thought that our present melancholy situation could receive
any addition of uneasiness, but the displeasure your last letter
expressed, convinced me that the meer blows of fortune are trifling
when compared with the unexpected reproaches of those we love.
Since my arrival in Town Mr. Scott and myself have been constantly
employed on the general plan which will, I flatter myself, give ease
and security to us all. Mr. Southouse has almost finished the rough
Draught of our Deed of Trust, the basis of all our solid hopes.
The many delays which have occurred have never proceeded from our
carelessness. So far from wishing to expose your name, I consulted
S. on the practicability of omitting the particular Schedule, and a
method has been agreed on--When that deed of Trust is finished, which
will be, I hope, in a very short time, we shall desire your presence
in town. I shall execute writings by which I make myself liable to
near eight thousand pounds Debt. You will then be able to make use
of Mr. Scott's money, & we shall find means to answer the Chancery
Demands. As yet your credit is unhurt, and your own fears have been
the only importunate Creditor. After this, Dear Sir, give me leave to
ask whether your last expression that you are _still affectionately_
was not somewhat severe.
I should be truly insensible if the steps you talk of taking in the
Country did not _already_ alarm me. They made me pass a very cruel
night. The very obscurity of your language terrified me. What can
those steps be? I must however say, that should you intend to procure
an immediate supply, by any extraordinary methods, both Mr. Scott and
myself must think ourselves disengaged from any promise, and our
whole plan is entirely dissolved.
I have wrote, Dear Sir, from a full heart, for which I make no
apology. It is by actions, not by words, that I shall ever seek
to prove how truly I feel for yourself and poor Mrs. G., and how
ardently I wish to make you, if possible, happy.
61.
_To his Father._
London, March the 4th, 1769.