II

The Speculative Society is a body of some antiquity, and has counted

among its members Scott, Brougham, Jeffrey, Horner, Benjamin Constant,

Robert Emmet, and many a legal and local celebrity besides. By an

accident, variously explained, it has its rooms in the very buildings

of the University of Edinburgh: a hall, Turkey-carpeted, hung with

pictures, looking, when lighted up at night with fire and candle, like

some goodly dining-room; a passage-like library, walled with books in

their wire cages; and a corridor with a fireplace, benches, a table,

many prints of famous members, and a mural tablet to the virtues of a

former secretary. Here a member can warm himself and loaf and read;

here, in defiance of Senatus-consults, he can smoke. The Senatus looks

askance at these privileges; looks even with a somewhat vinegar aspect

on the whole society; which argues a lack of proportion in the learned

mind, for the world, we may be sure, will prize far higher this haunt

of dead lions than all the living dogs of the professorate.

I sat one December morning in the library of the Speculative; a very

humble-minded youth, though it was a virtue I never had much credit

for; yet proud of my privileges as a member of the Spec.; proud of the

pipe I was smoking in the teeth of the Senatus; and in particular,

proud of being in the next room to three very distinguished students,

who were then conversing beside the corridor fire. One of these has

now his name on the back of several volumes, and his voice, I learn,

is influential in the law courts. Of the death of the second, you have

just been reading what I had to say. And the third also has escaped

out of that battle of life in which be fought so hard, it may be so

unwisely. They were all three, as I have said, notable students; but

this was the most conspicuous. Wealthy, handsome, ambitious,

adventurous, diplomatic, a reader of Balzac, and of all men that I

have known, the most like to one of Balzac's characters, he led a

life, and was attended by an ill fortune, that could be properly set

forth only in the _Comédie Humaine_. He had then his eye on

Parliament; and soon after the time of which I write, he made a showy

speech at a political dinner, was cried up to heaven next day in the

_Courant_, and the day after was dashed lower than earth with a charge

of plagiarism in the _Scotsman_. Report would have it (I daresay, very

wrongly) that he was betrayed by one in whom he particularly trusted,

and that the author of the charge had learned its truth from his own

lips. Thus, at least, he was up one day on a pinnacle, admired and

envied by all; and the next, though still but a boy, he was publicly

disgraced. The blow would have broken a less finely tempered spirit;

and even him I suppose it rendered reckless; for he took flight to

London, and there, in a fast club, disposed of the bulk of his

considerable patrimony in the space of one winter. For years

thereafter he lived I know not how; always well dressed, always in

good hotels and good society, always with empty pockets. The charm of

his manner may have stood him in good stead; but though my own manners

are very agreeable, I have never found in them a source of livelihood;

and to explain the miracle of his continued existence, I must fall

back upon the theory of the philosopher, that in his case, as in all

of the same kind, "there was a suffering relative in the background."

From this genteel eclipse he reappeared upon the scene, and presently

sought me out in the character of a generous editor. It is in this

part that I best remember him; tall, slender, with a not ungraceful

stoop; looking quite like a refined gentleman, and quite like an

urbane adventurer; smiling with an engaging ambiguity; cocking at you

one peaked eyebrow with a great appearance of finesse; speaking low

and sweet and thick, with a touch of burr; telling strange tales with

singular deliberation and, to a patient listener, excellent effect.

After all these ups and downs, he seemed still, like the rich student

that he was of yore, to breathe of money; seemed still perfectly sure

of himself and certain of his end. Yet he was then upon the brink of

his last overthrow. He had set himself to found the strangest thing in

our society: one of those periodical sheets from which men suppose

themselves to learn opinions; in which young gentlemen from the

universities are encouraged, at so much a line, to garble facts,

insult foreign nations and calumniate private individuals; and which

are now the source of glory, so that if a man's name be often enough

printed there, he becomes a kind of demigod; and people will pardon

him when he talks back and forth, as they do for Mr. Gladstone; and

crowd him to suffocation on railway platforms, as they did the other

day to General Boulanger; and buy his literary works, as I hope you

have just done for me. Our fathers, when they were upon some great

enterprise, would sacrifice a life; building, it may be, a favourite

slave into the foundations of their palace. It was with his own life

that my companion disarmed the envy of the gods. He fought his paper

single-handed; trusting no one, for he was something of a cynic; up

early and down late, for he was nothing of a sluggard; daily

earwigging influential men, for he was a master of ingratiation. In

that slender and silken fellow there must have been a rare vein of

courage, that he should thus have died at his employment; and

doubtless ambition spoke loudly in his ear, and doubtless love also,

for it seems there was a marriage in his view had he succeeded. But he

died, and his paper died after him; and of all this grace, and tact,

and courage, it must seem to our blind eyes as if there had come

literally nothing.

These three students sat, as I was saying, in the corridor, under the

mural tablet that records the virtues of Machean, the former

secretary. We would often smile at that ineloquent memorial, and

thought it a poor thing to come into the world at all and leave no

more behind one than Machean. And yet of these three, two are gone and

have left less; and this book, perhaps, when it is old and foxy, and

some one picks it up in a corner of a book-shop, and glances through

it, smiling at the old, graceless turns of speech, and perhaps for the

love of _Alma Mater_ (which may be still extant and flourishing) buys

it, not without haggling, for some pence--this book may alone preserve

a memory of James Walter Ferrier and Robert Glasgow Brown.

Their thoughts ran very differently on that December morning; they

were all on fire with ambition; and when they had called me in to

them, and made me a sharer in their design, I too became drunken with

pride and hope. We were to found a University magazine. A pair of

little, active brothers--Livingstone by name, great skippers on the

foot, great rubbers of the hands, who kept a book-shop over against

the University building--had been debauched to play the part of

publishers. We four were to be conjunct editors, and, what was the

main point of the concern, to print our own works; while, by every

rule of arithmetic--that flatterer of credulity--the adventure must

succeed and bring great profit. Well, well: it was a bright vision. I

went home that morning walking upon air. To have been chosen by these

three distinguished students was to me the most unspeakable advance;

it was my first draught of consideration; it reconciled me to myself

and to my fellow-men; and as I steered round the railings at the Tron,

I could not withhold my lips from smiling publicly. Yet, in the bottom

of my heart, I knew that magazine would be a grim fiasco; I knew it

would not be worth reading; I knew, even if it were, that nobody would

read it; and I kept wondering, how I should be able, upon my compact

income of twelve pounds per annum, payable monthly, to meet my share

in the expense. It was a comfortable thought to me that I had a

father.

The magazine appeared, in a yellow cover which was the best part of

it, for at least it was unassuming; it ran four months in undisturbed

obscurity, and died without a gasp. The first number was edited by all

four of us with prodigious bustle; the second fell principally into

the hands of Ferrier and me; the third I edited alone; and it has long

been a solemn question who it was that edited the fourth. It would

perhaps be still more difficult to say who read it. Poor yellow sheet,

that looked so hopefully in the Livingstones' window! Poor, harmless

paper, that might have gone to print a _Shakespeare_ on, and was

instead so clumsily defaced with nonsense! And, shall I say, Poor

Editors? I cannot pity myself, to whom it was all pure gain. It was no

news to me, but only the wholesome confirmation of my judgment, when

the magazine struggled into half-birth, and instantly sickened and

subsided into night. I had sent a copy to the lady with whom my heart

was at that time somewhat engaged, and who did all that in her lay to

break it; and she, with some tact, passed over the gift and my

cherished contributions in silence. I will not say that I was pleased

at this; but I will tell her now, if by any chance she takes up the

work of her former servant, that I thought the better of her taste. I

cleared the decks after this lost engagement; had the necessary

interview with my father, which passed off not amiss; paid over my

share of the expense to the two little, active brothers, who rubbed

their hands as much, but methought skipped rather less than formerly,

having perhaps, these two also, embarked upon the enterprise with some

graceful illusions; and then, reviewing the whole episode, I told

myself that the time was not yet ripe, nor the man ready; and to work

I went again with my penny version-books, having fallen back in one

day from the printed author to the manuscript student.

Essays of Robert Louis Stevenson Selected and Edited With an Introduction and Notes by William Lyon Phelps · 第 39 / 48 题