Of Latin there are three kinds: Latin Proper, or good Latin; Dog Latin;
and Thieves' Latin, Latin Proper, or good Latin, is the language which
was spoken by the ancient Romans. Dog Latin is the Latin in which boys
compose their first verses and themes, and which is occasionally
employed at the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge, but much more
frequently at Edinburgh, Aberdeen, and Glasgow. It includes Medical
Latin, and Law Latin; though these, to the unlearned, generally appear
Greek. Mens tuus ego-- mind your eye; Illic vadis cum oculo tuo ex--
there you go with your eye out; Quomodo est mater tua?-- how's your
mother? Fiat haustus ter die capiendus-- let a draught be made, to be
taken three times a day; Bona et catalla-- goods and chattels-- are
examples.
Thieves' Latin, more commonly known by the name of slang, is much in use
among a certain class of _conveyancers_, who disregard the distinctions
of meum and tuum. Furthermore, it constitutes a great part of the
familiar discourse of most young men in modern times, particularly
lawyers' clerks and medical students. It bears a very close affinity to
Law Latin, with which, indeed, it is sometimes confounded. Examples:--
to prig a wipe-- to steal a handkerchief. A rum start-- a curious
occurrence. A plant-- an imposition. Flummoxed-- undone. Sold--
deceived. A heavy swell-- a great dandy. Quibus, tin, dibs, mopuses,
stumpy-- money. Grub, prog, tuck-- victuals. A stiff-'un-- a dead body--
properly, a subject. To be scragged-- to suffer the last penalty of the
law, &c.
[Illustration: A HEAVY SWELL.]
All these kinds of Latin are to be taught in the Comic Latin Grammar.
[Illustration: TOBY, THE LEARNED PIG.]
If Toby, the learned pig, had been desired to say his alphabet in Latin,
he would have done it by taking away the W from the English alphabet.
Indeed, this is what he is said to have actually done. The Latin
letters, therefore, remind us of the greatest age that a fashionable
lady ever confesses she has attained to,-- being between twenty and
thirty.
Six of these letters are called what Dutchmen, speaking English, call
fowls-- vowels; namely, a, e, i, o, u, y.
A vowel is like an Æolian harp; it makes a full and perfect sound of
itself. A consonant cannot sound without a vowel, any more than a horn
(except such an one as Baron Munchausen's) can play a tune without a
performer.
Consonants are divided into mutes, liquids and double letters; although
they have nothing in particular to do with funerals, hydrostatics, or
the General post office. The liquids are, l, m, n, r; the double
letters, j, x, z; the other letters are mutes.
"Hye dum, dye dum, fiddle _dumb_--c." --STERNE.
A syllable is a distinct sound of one or more letters pronounced in a
breath, or, as we say in the classics, in a jiffey.
A diphthong is the sound of two vowels in one syllable. Taken
collectively they resemble a closed fist-- i.e. a bunch of _fives_. The
diphthongs are au, eu, ei, æ, and [oe]. Of the two first of these, au and
eu, the sound is _intermediate_ between that of the two vowels of which
each is formed. This fact may perhaps be impressed upon the mind, on the
principles of artificial memory, by a reference to a familiar beverage,
known by the name of half-and-half. In like manner, ei, which is
generally pronounced i, and æ and [oe], sounded like e, may be said to
exhibit something like an analogy to a married couple. The human
diphthong, Smith female + Brown male, is called Brown only.
[Illustration: A HUMAN DIPHTHONG.]
The reason, says the fool in King Lear, why the seven stars are no more
than seven-- is a pretty reason-- because they are not eight. This is a
fool's reason; but we (like many other commentators) cannot give a
better one, why the Parts of Speech are no more than eight-- because
they are not nine. They are as follow: