A miss is as good as a mile,
A kiss is as good as a smile,
But four painted kings
Are the beautiful things
That are good for the other man’s pile.
* * * * *
The ballet’s not the drawing card
That once it used to be.
Ah! when it dies, may some good bard
Indite its L. E. G.
* * * * *
“How do you like codfish balls?”
I said to sister Jenny.
“Well, really May, I couldn’t say,
I have never been to any.”
* * * * *
Poor Lot’s wife turned to salt, alas!
Her fate was most unkind.
No doubt she only wished to see
How hung her skirt behind.
* * * * *
The Power of the “Press”
“Now, girls,” warned the Sunday School teacher, “I want to caution you
against making friends with the new barber who has just opened a shop
in the village. A friend of mine who knew him in the town where he was
reared tells me he tries to make love to every girl he calls on.”
“The girls in this burg are sure friendly,” confided the new barber to
one of his patrons two days later. “Last night I took a stroll around the
town and every girl I met smiled at me.”
* * * * *
The lightning flashed, the lightning crashed,
The skies were rent asunder,
With shriek and wail loud blew the gale,
And then it rained like thunder.
* * * * *
Wall, I Calc’late!
“Well, Si,” asked the justice of the peace of the lone constable, “what
is this man charged with?”
“Bigotry,” answered Si. “He’s got three wives.”
“By gosh, Si,” exclaimed his honor, “where’s your education? That ain’t
bigotry, that’s trigonometry!”
* * * * *