IN A TRAPPER'S BIVOUAC.
The majority of old-time trappers and scouts always had an inexhaustible
fund of anecdote and adventure. Stories were often told at night when
the day's duty of making the round of the traps was done, the beaver
skinned, and the pelts hung up to cure. Their simple supper disposed,
and being comfortably seated around their fire of blazing logs,
each one of them indulged, as a preliminary, in his favourite manner
of smoking. Some adhered to the traditional clay pipe, others, more
fastidious, used nothing less expensive than a meerschaum. Many,
however, were satisfied with a simple cigarette with its covering of
corn husk. This was Kit Carson's usual method of smoking, and he was
an inveterate partaker of the weed. Frequently there was no real
tobacco to be found in the camp; either its occupants had exhausted
their supply, or the traders had failed to bring enough at the last
rendezvous[68] to go round. Then they were compelled to resort to the
substitutes of the Indians. Among some tribes the bark of the red
willow, dried and bruised, was used; others, particularly the mountain
savages, smoked the genuine kin-nik-i-nick, a little evergreen vine
growing on the tops of the highest elevations, and known as larb.
It was a rare treat to come across one of those solitary camps when
out on a prolonged hunt, for the visitor was certain of a cordial
welcome, and everything the generous men had was freely at your
service. The crowning pleasure came at night, when stories were told
under the silvery pines, with troops of stars overhead, around a
glowing camp-fire, until the lateness of the hour warned all that it
was time to roll up in their robes, if they intended to court sleep.
Let the reader, in fancy, accompany us to some thunder-splintered
cañon of the great rock-ribbed Continental Divide, and when the
shadows of night come walking along the mountains, seek one of these
sequestered camps, take our place in the magic circle, and listen to
wondrous tales as they are passed around. There is nothing to disturb
the magnificent silence save an occasional soughing of the fitful
breeze in the tops of the towering pines, or the gentle babbling of
some tiny rivulet as its water soothingly flows over the rounded
pebbles in its bed. There is a charm in the environment of such a
spot that will photograph its picture on the memory as the gem of all
the varied experiences of a checkered life.
One of the best raconteurs was Old Hatcher, as he was known throughout
the mountains. He was a famous trapper of the late '40's. Hatcher
was thoroughly Western in all his gestures, moods, and dialect.
He had a fund of stories of an amusing, and often of a marvellous cast.
It was never any trouble to persuade him to relate some of the scenes
in his wayward, ever-changing life; particularly if you warmed him up
with a good-sized bottle of whiskey, of which he was inordinately fond.
When telling a story he invariably kept his pipe in his mouth, using
his hands to cut from a solid plug of Missouri tobacco, whenever his
pipe showed signs of exhaustion. He also fixed his eyes on some
imaginary object in the blaze of the fire, and his countenance
indicated a concentration of thought, as if to call back from the
shadowy past the coming tale, the more attractive, perhaps, by its
extreme improbability.
He declared that he once visited the realms of Pluto, and no one ever
succeeded in disabusing his mind of the illusion.
The story is here presented just as he used to tell it, but divested
of much of its dialect, so hard to read, and much more difficult to
write:—
“Well!” beginning with a vigorous pull at his pipe. “I had been down
to Bent's Fort to get some powder, lead, and a few things I needed at
the beginning of the buffalo season. I remained there for some time
waiting for a caravan to come from the States which was to bring the
goods I wanted. Things was wonderfully high; it took a beaver-skin
for a plug of tobacco, three for a cup of powder, and other knick-knacks
in proportion. Jim Finch, an old trapper that went under by the Utes
near the Sangre de Cristo Pass, a few years ago, had told me there was
lots of beaver on the Purgatoire. Nobody knowed it; all thought the
creeks had been cleaned out of the varmints. So down I goes to the
cañon, and sot my traps. I was all alone by myself, and I'll be
darned if ten Injuns didn't come a screeching right after me.
I cached. I did, and the darned red devils made for the open prairie
with my animals. I tell you, I was mad, but I kept hid for more than
an hour. Suddenly I heard a tramping in the bushes, and in breaks my
little gray mule. Thinks I them 'Rapahoes ain't smart; so tied her to
grass. But the Injuns had scared the beaver so, I stays in my camp,
eating my lariat. Then I begun to get kind o' wolfish and squeamish;
something was gnawing and pulling at my inwards, like a wolf in a
trap. Just then an idea struck me, that I had been there before
trading liquor with the Utes.
“I looked around for sign, and hurrah for the mountains if I didn't
find the cache! And now if I didn't kiss the rock that I had pecked
with my butcher-knife to mark the place, I'm ungrateful. Maybe the
gravel wasn't scratched up from that place, and to me as would have
given all my traps for some Taos lightning, just rolled in the
delicious fluid.[69]
“I was weaker than a goat in the spring, but when the Taos was opened,
I fell back and let it run in. In four swallows I concluded to pull
up stakes for the headwaters of the Purgatoire for meat. So I roped
old Blue, tied on my traps, and left.
“It used to be the best place in the mountains for meat, but nothing
was in sight. Things looked mighty strange, and I wanted to make the
back track; but, says I, here I am, and I don't turn, surely.
“The bushes was all scorched and curly and the cedar was like fire had
been put to it. The big, brown rocks was covered with black smoke,
and the little drink in the bottom of the cañon was dried up. I was
now most under the old twin peaks of ‘Wa-te-yah’[70]; the cold snow
on top looking mighty cool and refreshing.
“Something was wrong; I must be shoving backwards, I thought, and that
before long, or I'd go under, so I jerked the rein, but I'll be dog-goned,
and it's true as there's meat running, Blue kept going forward.
I laid back and cussed and kicked till I saw blood, certain. Then I
put out my hand for my knife to kill the beast, but the 'Green River'[71]
wouldn't come. I tell you some unvisible spirit had a paw there,
and it's me that says it, 'bad medicine' it was, that trapping time.
“Loosing my pistol, the one I traded at Big Horn, the time I lost my
Ute squaw, and priming my rifle, I swore to keep right on; for after
staying ten years in these mountains, to be fooled this way wasn't the
game for me nohow.
“Well, we, I say, ‘we,’ for Blue was some—as good as a man any day;
I could talk to her, and she'd turn her head as if she understood me.
Mules are knowing critters—next to human. At a sharp corner Blue
snorted, and turned her head, but couldn't go back. There, in front,
was a level cañon with walls of black and brown and gray stone, and
stumps of burned piñon hung down ready to fall onto us; and, as we
passed, the rocks and trees shook and grated and croaked. All at once
Blue tucked her tail, backed her ears, bowed her neck, and squealed
right out, a-rearing on her hind legs, a-pawing, and snickering.
This hoss didn't see the cute of them notions; he was for examining,
so I goes to jump off and lam the fool; but I was stuck tight as if
there was tar on the saddle. I took my gun, that there iron, my rifle,
and pops Blue over the head, but she squealed and dodged, all the time
pawing; but it wasn't no use, and I says, ‘you didn't cost more than
two blankets when you was traded from the Utes, and two blankets ain't
worth more than two beaver-skins at Bent's Fort, which comes to two
dollars a pair, you consarned ugly pictur—darn you, anyhow!’ Just
then I heard a laughing. I looks up, and two black critters—they
wasn't human, sure, for they had black tails and red coats—Indian
cloth, cloth like that traded to the Indians, edged with white, shiny
stuff, and brass buttons.
“They come forward and made two low bows. I felt for my scalp-knife,
for I thought they was approaching to take me, but I couldn't use it
—they was so darned polite.
“One of the devils said, with a grin and bow, ‘Good-morning, Mr. Hatcher!’
“‘H——!’ says I, ‘how do you know me? I swear this hoss never saw
you before.’
“‘Oh, we've expected you a long time,’ said the other, ‘and we are
quite happy to see you—we've known you ever since your arrival in
the mountains.’
“I was getting sort of scared. I wanted a drop of Taos mighty bad,
but the bottle was gone, and I looked at them in astonishment, and
said—‘The devil!’
“‘Hush!’ screamed one, ‘you must not say that here—keep still, you
will see him presently.’
“I felt streaked, and a cold sweat broke out all over me. I tried to
say my prayers, as I used to at home, when they made me turn in at night—
“‘Now I lay me.’
“Pshaw! I'm off again, I can't say it; but if this child could have
got off his animal, he'd took hair and gone down the trail for
Purgatoire.
“All this time the long-tailed devils was leading my animal, and me
top of her, the biggest fool dug out, up the same cañon. The rocks
on the sides was pecked smooth as a beaver-skin, ribbed with the grain,
and the ground was covered with bits of cedar, like a cavayard of
mules had been nipping and scattering them about. Overhead it was
roofed, leastwise it was dark in here, and only a little light come
through the holes in the rock. I thought I knew where we was, and
eeched awfully to talk, but I sot still and didn't ask any questions.
“Presently we were stopped by a dead wall. No opening anywhere. When
the devils turned from me, I jerked my head around quick, but there
was no place to get out—the wall had growed up behind us too. I was
mad, and I wasn't mad neither; for I expected the time had come for
this child to go under. So I let my head fall on my breast, and I
pulled the wool hat over my eyes, and thought for the last of the
beaver I had trapped, and the buffalo as had taken my lead pills in
their livers, and the poker and euchre I'd played at the Rendezvous at
Bent's Fort. I felt comfortable as eating fat cow to think I hadn't
cheated any one.
“All at once the cañon got bright as day. I looked up, and there was
a room with lights and people talking and laughing, and fiddles
screeching. Dad, and the preacher at home when I was a boy, told me
the fiddle was the devil's invention; I believe it now.
“The little fellow as had hold of my animal squeaked out—‘Get off
your mule, Mr. Hatcher!’
“‘Get off!’ said I, for I was mad as a bull pricked with Comanche
lances, for his disturbing me. ‘Get off? I have been trying to, ever
since I came into this infernal hole.’
“‘You can do so now. Be quick, for the company is waiting,’ says he,
pert-like.
“They all stopped talking and were looking right at me. I felt riled.
‘Darn your company. I've got to lose my scalp anyhow, and no
difference to me—but to oblige you’—so I slid off as easy as if I
had never been stuck.
“A hunchback boy, with little gray eyes in his head, took old Blue away.
I might never see her again, and I shouted—‘Poor Blue! Good-by, Blue!’
“The young devil snickered; I turned around mighty stern—‘Stop your
laughing, you hell-cat—if I am alone, I can take you,’ and I grabbed
for my knife to wade into his liver; but it was gone—gun,
bullet-pouch, and pistol, like mules in a stampede.
“I stepped forward with a big fellow, with hair frizzled out like an
old buffalo just before shedding time; and the people jawing worse
than a cavayard of paroquets, stopped, while frizzly shouted:—
“‘Mr. Hatcher, formerly of Wapakonnetta, latterly of the Rocky Mountains.’
“Well, there I stood. Things were mighty strange, and every darned
nigger of them looked so pleased like. To show them manners, I said,
‘How are you?’ and I went to bow, but chaw my last tobacco if I could,
my breeches was so tight—the heat way back in the cañon had shrunk
them. They were too polite to notice it, and I felt for my knife to
rip the dog-goned things, but recollecting the scalp-taker was stolen,
I straightens up and bowed my head. A kind-looking, smallish old
gentleman, with a black coat and breeches, and a bright, cute face,
and gold spectacles, walks up and pressed my hand softly.
“‘How do you do, my dear friend? I have long expected you. You cannot
imagine the pleasure it gives me to meet you at home. I have watched
your peregrinations in the busy, tiresome world with much interest.
Sit down, sit down; take a chair,’ and he handed me one.
“I squared myself on it, but if a ten-pronged buck wasn't done sucking
when I last sot on a chair, and I squirmed awhile, uneasy as a
gun-shot coyote; then I jumps up and tells the old gentleman them sort
of fixings didn't suit this beaver, he prefers the floor. I sets
cross-legged like in camp, as easy as eating meat. I reached for my
pipe—a fellow so used to it—but the devils in the cañon had cached
that too.
“‘You wish to smoke, Mr. Hatcher?—we will have cigars. Here!’ he
called to an imp near him, ‘some cigars.’
“They was brought in on a waiter, about the size of my bullet-pouch.
I empties them into my hat, for good cigars ain't to be picked up on
the prairie every day, but looking at the old man, I saw something was
wrong. To be polite, I ought to have taken but one.
“‘I beg pardon,’ says I, scratching my scalp, ‘this hoss didn't think
—he's been so long in the mountains he's forgot civilized doings,’
and I shoved the hat to him.
“‘Never mind,’ says he, waving his hand and smiling faintly, ‘get
others,’ speaking to the boy alongside of him.
“The old gentleman took one and touched his finger to the end of my
cigar—it smoked as if fire had been sot to it.
“‘Waugh! the devil!’ screams I, darting back.
“‘The same!’ chimed in he, biting off the little end of his, and
bowing, and spitting it out, ‘the same, sir.’
“‘The same! what?’
“‘Why—the devil.’
“‘H——l! this ain't the hollow tree for this coon—I'll be making
medicine,’ so I offers my cigar to the sky and to the earth, like an
Injun.
“‘You must not do that here—out upon such superstition,’ says he,
sharp-like.
“‘Why?’
“‘Don't ask so many questions—come with me,’ rising to his feet, and
walking off slow and blowing his cigar-smoke over his shoulder in a
long line, and I gets alongside of him. ‘I want to show you my
establishment—you did not expect to find this down here, eh?’
“My breeches was all-fired stiff with the heat in the cañon, and my
friend, seeing it, said, ‘Your breeches are tight; allow me to place
my hand on them.’
“He rubbed his fingers up and down once, and by beaver, they got as
soft as when I traded them from the Pi-Utes on the Gila.
“I now felt as brave as a buffalo in the spring. The old man was so
clever, and I walked alongside of him like an old acquaintance.
We soon stopped before a stone door, and it opened without touching.
“‘Here's damp powder, and no fire to dry it,’ shouts I, stopping.
“‘What's the matter; do you not wish to perambulate through my
possessions?’
“‘This hoss doesn't savey what the human for perambulate is, but I'll
walk plum to the hottest fire in your settlement, if that's all you mean.’
“The place was hot, and smelt of brimstone; but the darned screeching
took me. I walks up to the other end of the lodge, and steal my mule,
if there wasn't Jake Beloo, as trapped with me to Brown's Hole! A lot
of hell-cats was a-pulling at his ears, and a-jumping on his shoulders,
and swinging themselves to the ground by his long hair. Some was
running hot irons into him, but when we came up they went off in a
corner, laughing and talking like wildcats' gibberish on a cold night.
“Poor Jake! he came to the bar, looking like a sick buffalo in the eye.
The bones stuck through his skin, and his hair was matted and long,
all over, just like a blind bull, and white blisters spotted him.
‘Hatch, old fellow! you here too?—how are you?’ says he, in a
faint-like voice, staggering and catching on to the bar for support—
‘I'm sorry to see you here; what did you do?’ He raised his eyes to
the old man standing behind me, who gave him such a look, he went
howling and foaming at the mouth to the fur end of the den and fell
down, rolling over the damp stones. The devils, who was chuckling by
a furnace where was irons a-heating, approached easy, and run one into
his back. I jumped at them and hollered, ‘You owdacious little
hell-pups, let him alone; if my scalp-taker was here, I'd make buzzard
feed of your meat, and parfleche of your dog-skins,’ but they squeaked
out, to ‘go to the devil.’
“‘Waugh!’ says I, ‘if I ain't pretty close to his lodge, I'm a nigger!’
“The old gentleman speaks up, ‘Take care of yourself, Mr. Hatcher,’ in
a mighty soft kind voice, and he smiled so calm and devilish—it nigh
froze me. I thought if the ground would open with an earthquake, and
take me in, I'd be much obliged anyhow. Thinks I, ‘You saint-for-saken,
infernal hell-chief, how I'd like to stick my knife in your withered
old bread-basket.’
“‘Ah! my dear fellow, no use trying—that's a decided impossibility.’
I jumped ten feet. I swear a medicine-man couldn't a-heard me, for
my lips didn't move, and how he knew is more than this hoss can tell.
“‘I see your nervous equilibrium is destroyed; come with me.’
“At the other side the old gentleman told me to reach down for a brass
knob. I thought a trick was going to be played on me, and I dodged.
“‘Do not be afraid; turn it when you pull; steady; there, that's it.’
It came, and a door shut of itself.
“‘Mighty good hinges!’ said I, ‘don't make any noise, and go shut
without slamming and cussing them.’
“‘Yes—yes! some of my own importation. No, they were never made here.’
“It was dark at first, but whenever the other door opened, there was
too much light. In another room there was a table in the middle, with
two bottles, and little glasses like them in St. Louis at the
drink-houses, only prettier. A soft, thick carpet was on the floor,
and a square glass lamp hung from the ceiling. I sat cross-legged on
the floor, and he on a sofa, his feet cocked on a chair, and his tail
coiled under him, comfortable as traders in a lodge. He hollered
something, I couldn't make out, and in comes two black crook-shanked
devils with a round bench and a glass with cigars in it. They vamosed,
and the old coon, inviting me to take a cigar, helps himself, and
reared his head back, while I sorter lays on the floor, and we smoked
and talked.
“‘But have we not been sitting long enough? Take a fresh cigar, and
we will walk. That was Purgatory where your quondam friend, Jake
Beloo, is. He will remain there awhile longer, and, if you desire it
can go, though it cost much exertion to entice him here, and then only
after he had drunk hard.’
“‘I wish you would, sir. Jake was as good a companion as ever trapped
beaver, or gnawed poor bull in the spring, and he treated his squaw as
if she was a white woman.’
“‘For your sake I will; we may see others of our acquaintance before
leaving this,’ says he, sorter queer-like, as if to mean, no doubt of it.
“The door of the room we had been talking in shut of its own accord.
We stooped, and he touched a spring in the wall, a trap-door flew open,
showing a flight of steps. He went first, cautioning me not to slip
on the dark stairs; but I shouted not to mind me, but thanked him for
telling me, though.
“We went down and down, until I began to think the old cuss was going
to get me safe too, so I sung out—‘Hello! which way; we must be
mighty nigh under Wah-to-yah, we've been going on so long?’
“‘Yes,’ said he, much astonished; ‘we're just under the Twins. Why,
turn and twist you ever so much, you do not lose your reckoning.’
“‘Not by a long chalk! This child had his bringing-up at Wapakonnetta,
and that's a fact.’
“From the bottom we went on in a dampish sort of a passage, gloomily
lit up with one candle. The grease was running down the block that
had an auger-hole bored in it for a candlestick, and the long snuff to
the end was red, and the blaze clung to it as if it hated to part
company, and turned black, and smoked at the point in mourning.
The cold chills shook me, and the old gentleman kept so still,
the echoes of my feet rolled back so solemn and hollow, I wanted liquor
mighty bad—mighty bad!
“There was a noise smothered-like, and some poor fellow would cry out
worse than Comanches a-charging. A door opened, and the old gentleman
touching me on the back, I went in and he followed. It flew to, and
though I turned right around, to look for sign to escape, if the place
got too hot, I couldn't find it.
“‘What now, are you dissatisfied?’
“‘Oh, no! I was just looking to see what sort of a lodge you have.’
“‘I understand you perfectly, sir; be not afraid.’
“My eyes were blinded in the light, but rubbing them, I saw two big
snakes coming at me, their yellow and blood-shot eyes shining awfully,
and their big red tongues darting backwards and forwards, like a
panther's paw when he slaps it on a deer, and their jaws wide open,
showing long, slim, white fangs. On my right four ugly animals jumped
at me, and rattled their chains—I swear their heads was bigger than
a buffalo's in summer. The snakes hissed and showed their teeth, and
lashed their tails, and the dogs howled and growled and charged, and
the light from the furnace flashed out brighter and brighter; and
above me, and around me, a hundred devils yelled and laughed and swore
and spit, and snapped their bony fingers in my face, and leaped up to
the ceiling into the black, long spider-webs, and rode on the spiders
which was bigger than a powder-horn, and jumped onto my head.
Then they all formed in line, and marched and hooted and yelled; and
when the snakes joined the procession, the devils leaped on their
backs and rode. Then some smaller ones rocked up and down on springing
boards, and when the snakes came opposite, darted way up in the air
and dived down their mouths, screeching like so many Pawnee Indians
for scalps. When the snakes was in front of us, the little devils
came to the end of the snakes' tongues, laughing and dancing, and
singing like idiots. Then the big dogs jumped clean over us, growling
louder than a cavayard of grizzly bear, and the devils, holding on to
their tails, flopped over my head, screaming—‘We've got you—we've
got you at last!’
“I couldn't stand it no longer, and shutting my eyes, I yelled right
out, and groaned.
“‘Be not alarmed,’ and my friend drew his fingers along my head and
back, and pulled a little narrow black flask from his pocket, with—
‘Here, take some of this.’
“I swallowed a few drops. It tasted sweetish and bitterish—I don't
exactly know how, but as soon as it was down, I jumped up five times
and yelled ‘Out of the way, you little ones, and let me ride’; and
after running alongside, and climbing up his slimy scales, I got
straddle of a big snake, who turned his head round, blowing his hot,
sickening breath in my face. I waved my old wool hat, and kicking him
into a fast run, sung out to the little devils to get up behind, and
off we started, screeching, ‘Hurrah for Hell!’ The old gentleman
rolled over and bent himself double with laughing, till he pretty nigh
choked. We kept going faster and faster till I got on to my feet,
although the scales was mighty slippery, and danced Injun, and whooped
louder than them all.
“All at once the old gentleman stopped laughing, pulled his spectacles
down on his nose, and said, ‘Mr. Hatcher, we had better go now,’ and
then he spoke something I couldn't make out, and all the animals stood
still; I slid off, and the little hell-cats, a-pinching my ears and
pulling my beard, went off squealing. Then they all formed in a half
moon before us—the snakes on their tails, with heads way up to the
black cobwebbed roof, the dogs reared on their hind feet, and the
little devils hanging everywhere. Then they all roared, and hissed,
and screeched several times, and wheeling off, disappeared just as the
lights went out, leaving us in the dark.
“‘Mr. Hatcher,’ said the old gentleman again, moving off, ‘you will
please amuse yourself until I return’; but seeing me look wild, said,
‘You have seen too much of me to feel alarmed for your own safety.
Take this imp for your guide, and if he is impertinent, put him
through; and for fear the exhibitions may overcome your nerves, imbibe
of this cordial,’ which I did, and everything danced before my eyes,
and I wasn't a bit scared.
“I started for a red light that came through the crack of a door, and
stumbled over a three-legged chair, as I pitched my last cigar-stump
to one of the dogs chained to the wall, who caught it in his mouth.
When the door was opened by my guide, I saw a big blaze like a prairie
fire, red and gloomy; and big black smoke was curling and twisting and
spreading, and the flames a-licking the walls, going up to a point,
and breaking into a wide blaze, with white and green ends. There was
bells a-tolling, and chains a-clinking, and mad howls and screams; but
the old gentleman's medicine made me feel as independent as a trapper
with his animals feeding around him, two pack of beaver in camp, with
traps sot for more.
“Close to the hot place was a lot of merry devils laughing and
shouting, with an old pack of greasy cards—it reminded me of them we
used to play with at the Rendezvous—shuffling them to the time of the
Devil's Dream, and Money Musk; then they'd deal in slow time, with the
Dead March in Saul, whistling as solemn as medicine-men. Then they
broke out sudden with Paddy O'Rafferty, which made this hoss move
about in his moccasins so lively that one of them that was playing
looked up and said, ‘Mr. Hatcher, won't you take a hand? Make way,
boys, for the gentleman.’
“Down I got amongst them, but stepped on one little fellow's tail,
who had been leading the Irish jig. He hollered till I got off it,
‘Owch! but it's on my tail ye are!’
“‘Pardon,’ said I, ‘but you are an Irishman!’
“‘No, indeed! I'm a hell-imp, he! he! who-oop! I'm a hell-imp,’ and
he laughed and pulled my beard, and screeched till the rest threatened
to choke him if he didn't stop.
“‘What's trumps?’ said I, ‘and whose deal?’
“‘Here's my place,’ said one, ‘I'm tired of playing; take a horn,’
handing me a black bottle; ‘the game's poker, and it's your next deal
—there's a bigger game of poker on hand’; and picking up an iron rod
heating in the fire, he punched a miserable fellow behind the bars,
who cussed him and ran away into the blaze out of his reach.
“I thought I was great at poker by the way I gathered in the
beaver-skins at the Rendezvous, but here the slick devils beat me
without half trying. When they'd slap down a bully pair, they'd
screech and laugh worse than trappers on a spree.
“Says one, ‘Mr. Hatcher, I reckon you're a hoss at poker away in your
country, but you can't shine down here—you ain't nowhere. That
fellow looking at us through the bars was a preacher up in the world.
When we first got him, he was all-fired hot and thirsty. We would dip
our fingers in water, and let it run in his mouth, to get him to teach
us the best tricks—he's a trump; he would stand and stamp the hot
coals, and dance up and down while he told his experience. Whoop-ee!
how he would laugh! He has delivered two long sermons of a Sunday,
and played poker at night of five-cent antes, with the deacons, for
the money bagged that day; and when he was in debt he exhorted the
congregation to give more for the poor heathen in a foreign land,
a-dying and losing their souls for the want of a little money to send
them a gospel preacher—that the poor heathen would be damned to
eternal fire if they didn't make up the dough. The gentleman that
showed you around—old Sate, we call him—had his eyes on the preacher
for a long time. When we got him, we had a barrel of liquor and
carried him around on our shoulders, until tired of the fun, and threw
him in the furnace yonder. We call him “Poke,” for that was his
favourite game. Oh, Poke,’ shouted my friend, ‘come here; here's a
gentleman who wants to see you—we'll give you five drops of water,
and that's more than your old skin's worth.’
“He came close, and though his face was poor, and all scratched, and
his hair singed mighty nigh off, make meat of this hoss, if it wasn't
old Cormon, that used to preach in the Wapakonnetta settlement! Many
a time he's made my hair stand on end when he preached about the other
world. He came closer, and I could see the chains tied on his wrists,
where they had worn to the bone. He looked a darned sight worse than
if the Comanches had scalped him.
“‘Hello! old coon,’ said I, ‘we're both in that awful place you talked
so much about; but I ain't so bad off as you yet. This young
gentleman,’ pointing to the devil who told me of his doings—‘this
gentleman has been telling me how you took the money you made us throw
in on Sunday.’
“‘Yes,’ said he, ‘if I had only acted as I told others to do, I would
not have been scorching here for ever and ever—water! water! John,
my son, for my sake, a little water.’
“Just then a little rascal stuck a hot iron into him, and off he ran
in the flames, ‘cacheing’ on the cool side of a big chunk of fire,
a-looking at us for water; but I cared no more for him than the Pawnee
whose scalp was tucked in my belt for stealing my horses on Coon Creek;
and I said:—
“‘This hoss doesn't care a cuss for you; you're a sneaking hypocrite;
you deserve all you've got and more too—and look here, old boy, it's
me that says so.’
“I strayed off a piece, pretending to get cool, but this hoss began to
get scared, and that's a fact; for the devils carried Cormon until
they got tired of him, and, said I to myself, ‘Ain't they been doing
me the same way? I'll cache, I will.’
“Well, now, I felt sort of queer, so I saunters along kind o' slowly,
until I saw an open place in the rock, not minding the imps who was
drinking away like trappers on a bust. It was so dark there, I felt
my way mighty still, for I was afraid they'd be after me. I got
almost to a streak of light when there was such a rumpus in the cave
that gave me the trembles. Doors was slamming, dogs growling and
rattling their chains, and all the devils a-screaming. They come
a-charging; the snakes was hissing sharp and wiry; the beasts howled
long and mournful, and thunder rolled up overhead, and the imps was
yelling and screeching like they was mad.
“It was time to break for timber, sure, and I run as if a wounded
buffalo was raising my shirt with his horns. The place was damp, and
in the narrow rock, lizards and vipers and copperheads jumped out at
me, and climbed on my legs, but I stamped and shook them off. Owls,
too, flopped their wings in my face and hooted at me, and fire blazed
out and lit the place up, and brimstone smoke came nigh choking me.
Looking back, the whole cavayard of hell was coming; nothing but
devils on devils filled the hole!
“I threw down my hat to run faster, and then jerked off my old blanket,
but still they was gaining on me. I made one jump clean out of my
moccasins. The big snake in front was getting closer and closer, with
his head drawed back to strike; then a hell-dog run up nearly alongside,
panting and blowing with the slobber running out of his mouth, and a
lot of devils hanging on to him, who was a-cussing me and screeching.
I strained every joint, but it was no use, they still gained—not fast—
but gaining. I jumped and swore, and leaned down, and flung out my
hands, but the dogs was nearer every time, and the horrid yelling and
hissing way back grew louder and louder. At last, a prayer mother
used to make me say, I hadn't thought of for twenty years, came right
before me as clear as a powder-horn. I kept running and saying it,
and the darned devils held back a little. I gained some on them.
I stopped repeating it, to get my breath, when the foremost dog made
a lunge at me—I had forgot it. Turning up my eyes, there was the old
gentleman looking at me, and keeping alongside without walking. His
face wasn't more than two feet off, and his eyes was fixed steady, and
calm and devilish. I screamed right out. I shut my eyes, but he was
there still. I howled and spit, and hit at it, but couldn't get his
darned face away. A dog caught hold of my shirt with his fangs, and
two devils, jumping on me, caught me by the throat, a-trying to choke
me. While I was pulling them off, I fell down, with about thirty-five
of the infernal things and the dogs and the slimy snakes on top of me,
a-mashing and tearing me. I bit pieces out of them, and bit again,
and scratched and gouged. When I was 'most give out, I heard the
Pawnee scalp-yell, and use my rifle for a poking stick, if in didn't
charge a party of the best boys in the mountains. They slayed the
devils right and left, and set them running like goats, but this hoss
was so weak fighting he fainted away. When I come to, I was on the
Purgatoire, just where I found the liquor, and some trappers was
slapping their ‘whats’ in my face to bring me to. All around where
I was laying, the grass was pulled up, and the ground dug with my
knife, and the bottle, cached when I traded with the Utes, was smashed
to flinders against a tree.
“‘Why, what on earth, Hatcher, have you been doing here? You was
kicking and tearing around, and yelling as if your scalp was taken.
We don't understand these hifalootin notions.’
“‘The devils of hell was after me,’ said I, mighty gruff. ‘This hoss
has seen more of them than he ever wants to see again.’
“They tried to get me out of the notion, but I swear, and I'll stick
to it, I saw a heap more of the all-fired place than I want to again.
If it ain't a fact, I don't know fat cow from poor bull.”
Hatcher always ended his yarn with this declaration, and you could
never make him believe that he had had only a touch of delirium tremens.
This story is related by Colonel W. F. Cody:—
In 1864 two military expeditions were sent into the northwest
country to disperse any hostile gatherings of Indians, one
expedition starting from Fort Lincoln on the Missouri River
under command of General George A. Custer. It was on this
expedition that Custer discovered gold in the Black Hills,
a discovery which finally led up to the great Sioux war of 1876,
when he lost his life in the battle of the Little Big Horn.
The other expedition started from Rawlins on the Union Pacific
Railway to go north into the Big Horn Basin in the Big Horn
Mountain country. This expedition was commanded by Colonel
Anson Mills. I was chief scout and guide of the expedition.
One day, when we were on the Great Divide of the Big Horn
Mountains, the command had stopped to let the pack-train close
up. While we were resting there, quite a number of officers
and myself were talking to Colonel Mills, when we noticed,
coming from the direction in which we were going, a solitary
horseman about three miles distant. He was coming from the
ridge of the mountains. The colonel asked me if I had any
scouts out in that direction, and I told him I had not.
We naturally supposed that it was an Indian. He kept drawing
nearer and nearer to us, until we made out it was a white man,
and as he came on I recognized him to be California Joe.[72]
When he got within hailing distance, I sung out, “Hello, Joe,”
and he answered, “Hello, Bill.” I said: “Where in the world
are you going to, out in this country?” (We were then about
five hundred miles from any part of civilization.) He said he
was just out for a morning ride. I introduced him to the
colonel and officers, who had all heard and read of him, for
he had been made famous in Custer's _Life on the Plains_.
He was a tall man, about six feet three inches in his moccasins,
with reddish gray hair and whiskers, very thin, nothing but
bone, sinew, and muscle. He was riding an old cayuse pony,
with an old saddle, a very old bridle, and a pair of elk-skin
hobbles attached to his saddle, to which also hung a piece of
elk-meat. He carried an old Hawkins rifle. He had an old
shabby army hat on, and a ragged blue army overcoat, a buckskin
shirt, and a pair of dilapidated greasy buckskin pants that
reached only a little below his knees, having shrunk in the
wet; he also wore a pair of old army government boots with the
soles worn off. That was his make-up.
I remember the colonel asking him if he had been very
successful in life. He pointed to the old cayuse pony, his
gun, and his clothes, and replied, “This is seventy years'
gathering.” Colonel Mills then asked him if he would have
anything to eat; he said he had plenty to eat, all he wanted
was tobacco. Tobacco was very scarce in the command, but they
rounded him up sufficient to do him that day. When invited to
go with us, he said he was not particular where he went,
he would just as soon go one way as the other; he remained
with us several days, in fact, he stayed the entire trip.
He was of great assistance to me, as he knew the country
thoroughly. He was a fine mountain guide, but I could seldom
find him when I most needed him, as he was generally back with
the column, telling frontier stories and yarns to the soldiers
for a chew of tobacco.
One day I rode back from the advance guard to ask the colonel
how far he wanted to go before camping, and while I was riding
along talking to him, we noticed that the advance guard had
stopped and were standing in a circle, evidently looking at
something very intently. They were so interested that they
did not come to their senses until the colonel and myself rode
in among them. Then they immediately moved forward, leaving
the colonel and myself to see what they had been investigating.
It was a lone grave in the desolate mountains, and whoever had
been buried there evidently had friends, because the spot was
nicely covered with stones to prevent the wolves from digging
up the corpse.
We were looking at this grave when old Joe rode up, and as he
stopped he threw down his hat on the pile of rocks and said,
“At last.”
The colonel said, “Joe, do you know anything about the history
of this grave?” Joe replied—
“Well I should think I did.” The colonel then asked him to
tell us about it. Joe said:—
“In 1816”—we didn't stop to think how far back 1816 was—
“I had been to Astoria at the mouth of the Columbia River with
a company of fur traders, and had been trapping in that country
for two or three years, and by that time the party had made up
their minds they would start back to the States, across the
mountains. They were headed for the Missouri River, and when
they got there, they intended to build a boat and float down
to St. Louis. As they were coming across the Continental
Divide of the Rocky Mountains, had reached the eastern slope,
and were coming down one of the tributaries of the Stinking
Water, some one of the party discovered what he thought to be
gold nuggets in the bed of the stream. The water was clear.
Every man went down to the water prospecting. The stream was
so full of gold nuggets that they all jumped off their horses,
leaving them packed as they were, and commenced throwing gold
nuggets out on the banks.
“They abandoned everything they had with them, provisions and
all, excepting their rifles, and prepared to load the gold.
“Then they started for the Missouri River again, and when they
reached the spot where this grave was, a man was taken suddenly
ill, died in a very few minutes, and they buried him there.”
Old Joe gave a sly wink, as much as to say, “We buried the
money with the man.”
At this time quite a number of officers gathered around where
the advance of the command had halted, and there may have been
thirty or forty soldiers listening to this story; there were
some who took it to be one of Joe's lies that he usually told
for tobacco.
The colonel ordered the bugler to sound “forward.” The command
moved on and within five or six miles went into camp. But
every man who had listened to Joe's story of this grave,
feeling that there was some hundred thousand dollars buried
in it, gave it a look as they passed by.
We moved on and went into camp. Joe was messing with me, and
after we had supper he said, “Bill, would you like to see a
little fun to-night?” I said, “Yes, I am in for fun or
anything else.” He said, “As soon as it gets dark you follow
me.” I said, “You bet I will follow you,” thinking all the
time that he was going back to dig this fellow up.
As soon as it was dark he started and motioned me to follow
him, but, instead of going back on the trail, he went in the
direction that we intended to go in the morning. Thinks I to
myself, “That is good medicine, we won't go directly back on
the trail but follow another.”
I asked him if we did not want to take a pick and shovel with
us, and he said, “What for?” I said, “We will need it.”
He said, “No, we won't need it; you come on.”
When we got outside the camp he commenced to turn around to
the left, getting back on our trail. I said, “This is all
right.” He was now going back toward the grave. We went
about a mile on the trail and he said, “Sit down here.”
I said, “Don't we want to go on?” He said, “What for?”
I said, “To dig that fellow up and get the money.” He said,
“The money be damned; I never saw the bloomin' grave before,”
or something like that. I was disappointed. He said, “Wait a
few minutes until after ‘taps,’ and you will see that camp
empty itself.”
Presently here they came, scouts, soldiers, and packers by the
dozen, sneaking through the brush and hurrying back on the
trail. Old Joe laid down behind this bowlder and just rolled
with laughter to see them going to dig up the grave.
The next morning the boys told me that they dug up the grave
and found some bones; they dug up a quarter of an acre of
ground and never got the colour of a piece of gold; then they
“tumbled.”