To the Earl of ----.
Silleri, May 5.
My Lord,
I have been conversing, if the expression is not improper when I
have not had an opportunity of speaking a syllable, more than two hours
with a French officer, who has declaimed the whole time with the most
astonishing volubility, without uttering one word which could either
entertain or instruct his hearers; and even without starting any thing
that deserved the name of a thought.
People who have no ideas out of the common road are, I believe,
generally the greatest talkers, because all their thoughts are low
enough for common conversation; whereas those of more elevated
understandings have ideas which they cannot easily communicate except
to persons of equal capacity with themselves.
This might be brought as an argument of the inferiority of women's
understanding to ours, as they are generally greater talkers, if we did
not consider the limited and trifling educations we give them; men,
amongst other advantages, have that of acquiring a greater variety as
well as sublimity of ideas.
Women who have conversed much with men are undoubtedly in general
the most pleasing companions; but this only shews of what they are
capable when properly educated, since they improve so greatly by that
accidental and limited opportunity of acquiring knowledge.
Indeed the two sexes are equal gainers, by conversing with each
other: there is a mutual desire of pleasing, in a mixed conversation,
restrained by politeness, which sets every amiable quality in a
stronger light.
Bred in ignorance from one age to another, women can learn little of
their own sex.
I have often thought this the reason why officers daughters are in
general more agreable than other women in an equal rank of life.
I am almost tempted to bring Bell as an instance; but I know the
blindness and partiality of nature, and therefore check what paternal
tenderness would dictate.
I am shocked at what your Lordship tells me of Miss H----. I know her
imprudent, I believe her virtuous: a great flow of spirits has been
ever hurrying her into indiscretions; but allow me to say, my Lord, it
is particularly hard to fix the character by our conduct, at a time of
life when we are not competent judges of our own actions; and when the
hurry and vivacity of youth carries us to commit a thousand follies and
indiscretions, for which we blush when the empire of reason begins.
Inexperience and openness of temper betray us in early life into
improper connexions; and the very constancy, and nobleness of nature,
which characterize the best hearts, continue the delusion.
I know Miss H---- perfectly; and am convinced, if her father will
treat her as a friend, and with the indulgent tenderness of affection
endeavor to wean her from a choice so very unworthy of her, he will
infallibly succeed; but if he treats her with harshness, she is lost
for ever.
He is too stern in his behaviour, too rigid in his morals: it is the
interest of virtue to be represented as she is, lovely, smiling, and
ever walking hand in hand with pleasure: we were formed to be happy,
and to contribute to the happiness of our fellow creatures; there are
no real virtues but the social ones.
'Tis the enemy of human kind who has thrown around us the gloom of
superstition, and taught that austerity and voluntary misery are virtue.
If moralists would indeed improve human nature, they should endeavor
to expand, not to contract the heart; they should build their system on
the passions and affections, the only foundations of the nobler
virtues.
From the partial representations of narrow-minded bigots, who paint
the Deity from their own gloomy conceptions, the young are too often
frighted from the paths of virtue; despairing of ideal perfections,
they give up all virtue as unattainable, and start aside from the road
which they falsely suppose strewed with thorns.
I have studied the heart with some attention; and am convinced
every parent, who will take the pains to gain his children's friendship,
will for ever be the guide and arbiter of their conduct: I speak from a
happy experience.
Notwithstanding all my daughter says in gaiety of heart, she would
sooner even relinquish the man she loves, than offend a father in whom
she has always found the tenderest and most faithful of friends. I am
interrupted, and have only time to say, I have the honor to be,
My Lord, &c.
Wm. Fermor.