To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Quebec, April 2.
I have this moment, my dear, a letter from Montreal, describing some
lands on Lake Champlain, which my friend thinks much better worth my
taking than those near the Kamaraskas: he presses me to come up
immediately to see them, as the ice on the rivers will in a few days be
dangerous to travel on.
I am strongly inclined to go, and for this reason; I am convinced my
wish of bringing about a friendship between Emily and Madame Des
Roches, the strongest reason I had for fixing at the Kamaraskas, was an
imprudent one: gratitude and (if the expression is not impertinent)
compassion give me a softness in my behaviour to the latter, which a
superficial observer would take for love, and which her own tenderness
may cause even her to misconstrue; a circumstance which must retard her
resolution of changing the affection with which she has honored me,
into friendship.
I am also delicate in my love, and cannot bear to have it one moment
supposed, my heart can know a wish but for my Emily.
Shall I say more? The blush on Emily's cheek on her first seeing
Madame Des Roches convinced me of my indiscretion, and that vanity
alone carried me to desire to bring together two women, whose affection
for me is from their extreme merit so very flattering.
I shall certainly now fix in Canada; I can no longer doubt of
Emily's tenderness, though she refuses me her hand, from motives which
make her a thousand times more dear to me, but which I flatter myself
love will over-rule.
I am setting off in an hour for Montreal, and shall call at Silleri
to take Emily's commands.
Seven in the evening, Des Chambeaux.
I asked her advice as to fixing the place of my settlement; she said
much against my staying in America at all; but, if I was determined,
recommended Lake Champlain rather than the Kamaraskas, on account of
climate. Bell smiled; and a blush, which I perfectly understood,
over-spread the lovely cheek of my sweet Emily. Nothing could be more
flattering than this circumstance; had she seen Madame Des Roches with
a calm indifference, had she not been alarmed at the idea of fixing
near her, I should have doubted of the degree of her affection; a
little apprehension is inseparable from real love.
My courage has been to-day extremely put to the proof: had I staid
three days longer, it would have been impossible to have continued my
journey.
The ice cracks under us at every step the horses set, a rather
unpleasant circumstance on a river twenty fathom deep: I should not
have attempted the journey had I been aware of this particular. I hope
no man meets inevitable danger with more spirit, but no man is less
fond of seeking it where it is honorably to be avoided.
I am going to sup with the seigneur of the village, who is, I am
told, married to one of the handsomest women in the province.
Adieu! my dear! I shall write to you from Montreal.
Your affectionate
Ed. Rivers.