To Mrs. Melmoth, at Montreal.
Silleri, Nov. 20.
I have a thousand reasons, my dearest Madam, for intreating you to
excuse my staying some time longer at Quebec. I have the sincerest
esteem for Sir George, and am not insensible of the force of our
engagements; but do not think his being there a reason for my coming:
the kind of suspended state, to say no more, in which those engagements
now are, call for a delicacy in my behaviour to him, which is so
difficult to observe without the appearance of affectation, that his
absence relieves me from a very painful kind of restraint: for the same
reason, 'tis impossible for me to come up at the time he does, if I do
come, even though Miss Fermor should accompany me.
A moment's reflexion will convince you of the propriety of my
staying here till his mother does me the honor again to approve his
choice; or till our engagement is publicly known to be at an end. Mrs.
Clayton is a prudent mother, and a woman of the world, and may consider
that Sir George's situation is changed since she consented to his
marriage.
I am not capricious; but I will own to you, that my esteem for Sir
George is much lessened by his behaviour since his last return from
New-York: he mistakes me extremely, if he supposes he has the least
additional merit in my eyes from his late acquisition of fortune: on
the contrary, I now see faults in him which were concealed by the
mediocrity of his situation before, and which do not promise happiness
to a heart like mine, a heart which has little taste for the false
glitter of life, and the most lively one possible for the calm real
delights of friendship, and domestic felicity.
Accept my sincerest congratulations on your return of health; and
believe me,
My dearest Madam,
Your obliged and affectionate
Emily Montague.