VIGILANS--The Laws of Auroral Derangements are still imperfectly
understood. Any overheated motor may of course “seize” without warning;
but so many complaints have reached us of accidents similar to yours
while shooting the Aurora that we are inclined to believe with Lavalle
that the upper strata of the Aurora Borealis are practically one big
electric “leak,” and that the paralysis of your engines was due to
complete magnetization of all metallic parts. Low-flying planes often
“glue up” when near the Magnetic Pole, and there is no reason in science
why the same disability should not be experienced at higher levels when
the Auroras are “delivering” strongly.
INDIGNANT--On your own showing, you were not under control. That
you could not hoist the necessary N. U. C. lights on approaching a
traffic-lane because your electrics had short-circuited is a misfortune
which might befall any one. The A. B. C., being responsible for the
planet's traffic, cannot, however, make allowance for this kind of
misfortune. A reference to the Code will show that you were fined on the
lower scale.
PLANISTON--(1) The Five Thousand Kilometre (overland) was won last year
by L. V. Rautsch; R. M. Rautsch, his brother, in the same week pulling
off the Ten Thousand (oversea). R. M.'s average worked out at a
fraction over 500 kilometres per hour, thus constituting a record.
(2) Theoretically, there is no limit to the lift of a dirigible. For
commercial and practical purposes 15,000 tons is accepted as the most
manageable.
PATERFAMILIAS--None whatever. He is liable for direct damage both to
your chimneys and any collateral damage caused by fall of bricks into
garden, etc., etc. Bodily inconvenience and mental anguish may
be included, but the average courts are not, as a rule, swayed by
sentiment. If you can prove that his grapnel removed any portion of
your roof, you had better rest your case on decoverture of domicile (see
Parkins v. Duboulay). We sympathize with your position, but the night
of the 14th was stormy and confused, and--you may have to anchor on a
stranger's chimney yourself some night. Verbum sap!
ALDEBARAN--(1) war, as a paying concern, ceased in 1987. (2) The
Convention of London expressly reserves to every nation the right of
waging war so long as it does not interfere with the traffic and all
that implies. (3) The A. B. C. was constituted in 1949.
L. M. P.--(1) Keep her full head-on at half power, taking advantage of
the lulls to speed up and creep into it. She will strain much less this
way than in quartering across a gale. (2) Nothing is to be gained by
reversing into a following gale, and there is always risk of a turnover.
(3) The formulae for stun'sle brakes are uniformly unreliable, and will
continue to be so as long as air is compressible.
PEGAMOID--(1) Personally we prefer glass or flux compounds to any other
material for winter work nose-caps as being absolutely non-hygroscopic.
(2) We cannot recommend any particular make.
PULMONAR--(1) For the symptoms you describe, try the Gobi Desert
Sanatoria. The low levels of most of the Saharan Sanatoria are against
them except at the outset of the disease. (2) We do not recommend
boarding-houses or hotels in this column.
BEGINNER--On still days the air above a large inhabited city being
slightly warmer--i.e., thinner--than the atmosphere of the surrounding
country, a plane drops a little on entering the rarefied area, precisely
as a ship sinks a little in fresh water. Hence the phenomena of “jolt”
and your “inexplicable collisions” with factory chimneys. In air, as on
earth, it is safest to fly high.
EMERGENCY--There is only one rule of the road in air, earth, and water.
Do you want the firmament to yourself?
PICCIOLA--Both Poles have been overdone in Art and Literature. Leave
them to Science for the next twenty years. You did not send a stamp with
your verses.
NORTH NIGERIA--The Mark Boat was within her right in warning you off the
Reserve. The shadow of a low-flying dirigible scares the game. You can
buy all the photos you need at Sokoto.
NEW ERA--It is not etiquette to overcross an A. B. C. official's boat
without asking permission. He is one of the body responsible for the
planet's traffic, and for that reason must not be interfered with. You,
presumably, are out on your own business or pleasure, and must leave him
alone. For humanity's sake don't try to be “democratic.”
EXCORIATED--All inflators chafe sooner or later. You must go on till
your skin hardens by practice. Meantime vaseline.