‘My discipline then will be in another’s keeping--yet only that I may
come back to you ... more perfect ... in the end....’
The bees and waves then cushioned her whisper with their humming. The
trail of a deeper silence led them far away. The rush of temporary
darkness passed and lifted. I opened my eyes. My love sat close beside
me in the shadow of the poplars. One hand held both my own, while with
the other she arranged my pillows and stroked my aching head. The world
dropped back into a tiny scale once more.
‘You have had the pain again,’ Marion murmured anxiously, ‘but it is
better now. It is passing.’ She kissed my cheek. ‘You must come in....’
But I would not let her go. I held her to me with all the strength that
was in me. ‘I had it, but it’s gone again. An awful darkness came with
it,’ I whispered in the little ear that was so close against my mouth.
‘I’ve been dreaming,’ I told her, as memory dipped away, ‘dreaming of
you and me--together somewhere--in old gardens, or forests--where the
sun was----’
But she would not let me finish. I think, in any case, I could not
have said more, for thought evaded me, and any language of coherent
description was in the same instant beyond my power. Exhaustion came
upon me, that vile, compelling nausea with it.
‘The sun here is too strong for you, dear love,’ I heard her saying,
‘and you must rest more. We have been doing too much these last few
days. You must have more repose.’ She rose to help me move indoors.
‘I have been unconscious then?’ I asked, in the feeble whisper that was
all I could manage.
‘For a little while. You slept, while I watched over you.’
‘But I was away from you! Oh, how could you let me sleep, when our time
together is so short?’
She soothed me instantly in the way she knew we both loved so. I clung
to her until she released herself again.
‘Not away from me,’ she smiled, ‘for I was with you in your dreaming.’
‘Of course, of course you were’; but already I knew not exactly why I
said it, nor caught the deep meaning that struggled up into my words
from such unfathomable distance.
‘Come,’ she added, with her sweet authority again, ‘we must go in now.
Give me your arm, and I will send out for the cushions. Lean on me. I
am going to put you back to bed.’
‘But I shall sleep again,’ I said petulantly, ‘and we shall be
separated.’
‘We shall dream together,’ she replied, as she helped me slowly and
painfully towards the old grey walls of the château.