Some time after the small tea-party described in our last chapter,
Philip Maylands was invested with all the dignity, privileges, and
emoluments of an "Out-door Boy Telegraph Messenger" in the General
Post-Office. He rejoiced in the conscious independence of one who earns
his own livelihood, is a burden to nobody, and has something to spare.
He enjoyed the privilege of wearing a grey uniform, of sitting in a
comfortable room with a huge fire in the basement of the office, and of
walking over a portion of London as the bearer of urgent and no doubt
all-important news. He also enjoyed a salary of seven shillings
sterling a week, and was further buoyed up with the hope of an increase
to eight shillings at the end of a year. His duties, as a rule, began
at eight each morning, and averaged nine hours.
We have said that out of his vast income he had something to spare.
This, of course, was not much, but owing to the very moderate charge for
lodging made by Solomon Flint--with whom and his sister he took up his
abode--the sum was sufficient to enable him, after a few months, to send
home part of his first year's earnings to his mother. He did this by
means of that most valuable institution of modern days a Post-Office
order, which enables one to send small sums of money, at a moderate
charge, and with perfect security, not only all over the kingdom, but
over the greater part of the known world.
It would have been interesting, had it been possible, to have entered
into Phil's feelings on the occasion of his transacting this first piece
of financial business. Being a country-bred boy, he was as bashful
about it as if he had been only ten years old. He doubted, first,
whether the clerk would believe him in earnest when he should demand the
order. Then, when he received the form to fill up, he had considerable
hesitation lest he should fill in the blanks erroneously, and when the
clerk scanned the slip and frowned, he felt convinced that he had done
so.
"You've put only Mrs Maylands," said the clerk.
"_Only_ Mrs Maylands!" thought Phil; "does the man want me to add
`widow of the Reverend James Maylands, and mother of all the little
Maylands?'" but he only said, "Sure, sir, it's to her I want to send the
money."
"Put down her Christian name;" said the clerk; "order can't be drawn
without it."
Phil put down the required name, handed over the money, received back
the change, inserted the order into a previously prepared letter, posted
the same, and walked away from that office as tall as his friend George
Aspel--if not taller--in sensation.
Let us now follow our hero to the boy-messengers' room in the basement
of St. Martin's-le-Grand.
Entering one morning after the delivery of a telegram which had cost him
a pretty long walk, Phil proceeded to the boys' hall, and took his seat
at the end of the row of boys who were awaiting their turn to be called
for mercurial duty. Observing a very small telegraph-boy in a scullery
off the hall, engaged in some mysterious operations with a large
saucepan, from which volumes of steam proceeded, he went towards him.
By that time Phil had become pretty well acquainted with the faces of
his comrades, but this boy he had not previously met with. The lad was
stooping over a sink, and carefully holding in the contents of the pan
with its lid, while he strained off the boiling water.
"Sure I've not seen _you_ before?" remarked Phil.
The boy turned up a sharp-featured, but handsome and remarkably
intelligent face, and, with a quick glance at Phil, said, "Well, now,
any man might know you for an Irishman by your impudence, even if you
hadn't the brogue."
"Why, what do you mean?" asked Phil, with an amused smile.
"Mean!" echoed the boy, with the most refined extract of insolence on
his pretty little face; "I mean that small though I am, surely I'm big
enough to be _seen_."
"Well," returned Phil, with a laugh, "you know what I mean--that I
haven't seen you before to-day."
"Then w'y don't you say what you mean? How d'you suppose a man can
understand you unless you speak in plain terms? You won't do for the
GPO if you can't speak the Queen's English. We want sharp fellows here,
we do. So you'd better go back to Owld Ireland, avic cushla
mavourneen--there, put that in your pipe and smoke it."
Whether it was the distraction of the boy's mind, or the potent working
of his impertinence, we know not, but certain it is that his left hand
slipped somehow, and a round ball, with a delicious smell, fell out of
the pot. The boy half caught it, and wildly yet cleverly balanced it on
the lid, but it would have rolled next moment into the sink, if Phil had
not made a dart forward, caught it like a football, and bowled it back
into the pot.
"Well done! splendidly done!" cried the boy, setting down his pot.
"Arrah! Pat," he added, mocking Phil's brogue, and holding out his
hand, "you're a man after my own heart; give me your flipper, and let us
swear eternal friendship over this precious goblet."
Of course Phil cheerfully complied, and the friendship thus auspiciously
begun afterwards became strong and lasting. So it is all through the
course of life. At every turn we are liable to meet with those who
shall thenceforth exercise a powerful influence on our characters,
lives, and affections, and on whom our influence shall be strong for
good or evil.
"What's your name?" asked Phil; "mine is Philip Maylands."
"Mine's Peter Pax," answered the small boy, returning to his goblet;
"but I've no end of _aliases_--such as Mouse, Monkey, Spider, Snipe,
Imp, and Little 'un. Call me what you please, it's all one to me, so as
you don't call me too late for dinner."
"And what have you got there, Pax?" asked Phil, referring to the pot.
"A plum-pudding."
"Do two or three of you share it?"
"Certainly not," replied the boy.
"What! you don't mean to say you can eat it all yourself for dinner?"
"The extent of my ability in the disposal of wittles," answered Pax, "I
have never fairly tested. I think I could eat this at one meal, though
I ain't sure, but it's meant to serve me all day. You see I find a
good, solid, well-made plum-pudding, with not too much suet, and a
moderate allowance of currants and raisins, an admirable squencher of
appetite. It's portable too, and keeps well. Besides, if I can't get
through with it at supper, it fries up next mornin' splendidly.--Come,
I'll let you taste a bit, an' that's a favour w'ich I wouldn't grant to
every one."
"No, thank 'ee, Pax. I'm already loaded and primed for the forenoon,
but I'll sit by you while you eat, and chat."
"You're welcome," returned Pax, "only don't be cheeky, Philip, as I
can't meet you on an equal footing w'en I'm at grub."
"I'll be careful, Pax; but don't call me Philip--call me Phil."
"I will, Phil; come along, Phil; `Come fill up my cup, come fill up my
can'--that sort o' thing you understand, Phil, me darlint?"
There was such a superhuman amount of knowing presumption in the look
and air of Pax, as he poked Phil in the ribs and winked, that the latter
burst into laughter, in which however he was not joined by his
companion, who with the goblet in one hand and the other thrust into his
pocket, stood regarding his new friend with a pitiful expression till he
recovered, and then led him off to a confabulation which deepened their
mutual esteem.
That same evening a gentleman called at the Post-Office, desiring to see
Philip Maylands. It turned out to be George Aspel.
"Why, George, what brings you here?" said Phil in surprise.
"I chanced to be in the neighbourhood," answered Aspel, "and came to ask
the address of that little creature who posted my letter the other
night. I want to see her. She does not go to your cousin's, I know,
till morning, and I must see her to-night, to make sure that she _did_
post the letter, for, d'you know, I've had no reply from Sir James, and
I can't rest until I ascertain whether my letter was posted. Can you
tell me where she lives, Phil?"
At that moment Phil was summoned for duty. Giving his friend the
address hastily, he left him.
George Aspel passed the front of the General Post-Office on his way to
visit Tottie Bones, and, observing a considerable bustle going on there,
he stopped to gaze, for George had an inquiring mind. Being fresh from
the country, his progress through the streets of London, as may be well
understood, was slow. It was also harassing to himself and the public,
for when not actually standing entranced in front of shop-windows his
irresistible tendency to look in while walking resulted in many
collisions and numerous apologies. At the General Post-Office he
avoided the stream of human beings by getting under the lee of one of
the pillars of the colonnade, whence he could look on undisturbed.
Up to six o'clock letters are received in the letter-box at St.
Martin's-le-Grand for the mails which leave London at eight each
evening. The place for receiving book-parcels and newspapers, however,
closes half-an-hour sooner. Before five a brass slit in the wall
suffices for the public, but within a few minutes of the half-hour the
steady run of men and boys towards it is so great that the slit becomes
inadequate. A trap-door is therefore opened in the pavement, and a
yawning abyss displayed which communicates by an inclined plane with the
newspaper regions below. Into this abyss everything is hurled.
When Aspel took up his position people were hurrying towards the hole,
some with single book-parcels, or a few newspapers, others with armfuls,
and many with sackfuls. In a few minutes the rapid walk became a run.
Men, boys, and girls sprang up the steps--occasionally tumbled up,--
jostled each other in their eager haste, and tossed, dropped, hurled, or
poured their contributions into the receptacle, which was at last fed so
hastily that it choked once or twice, and a policeman, assisted by an
official, stuffed the literary matter down its throat--with difficulty,
however, owing to the ever-increasing stream of contributors to the
feast. The trap-door, when open, formed a barrier to the hole, which
prevented the too eager public from being posted headlong with their
papers. One youth staggered up the steps under a sack so large that he
could scarcely lift it over the edge of the barrier without the
policeman's aid. Him Aspel questioned, as he was leaving with the empty
sack, and found that he was the porter of one of the large publishing
firms of the city.
Others he found came from advertising agents with sacks of circulars,
etcetera.
Soon the minutes were reduced to seconds, and the work became
proportionally fast and furious; sacks, baskets, hampers, trays of
material were emptied violently into that insatiable maw, and in some
cases the sacks went in along with their contents. But owners' names
being on these, they were recoverable elsewhere.
Suddenly, yet slowly, the opening closed. The monster was satisfied for
that time; it would not swallow another morsel, and one or two
unfortunates who came late with large bags of newspapers and circulars
had to resort to the comparatively slow process of cramming their
contents through the narrow slit above, with the comforting certainty
that they had missed that post.
Turning from this point George Aspel observed that the box for letters--
closing, as we have said, half an hour later than that for books and
papers--was beginning to show symptoms of activity. At a quarter to six
the long metal slit suddenly opened up like a gaping mouth, into which a
harlequin could have leaped easily. Through it Aspel could look--over
the heads of the public--and see the officials inside dragging away
great baskets full of letters to be manipulated in the mysterious realms
inside. At five minutes to six the rush towards this mouth was
incessant, and the operations at the newspaper-tomb were pretty much
repeated, though, of course, the contents of bags and baskets were not
quite so ponderous. At one side of the mouth stood an official in a red
coat, at the other a policeman. These assisted the public to empty
their baskets and trays, gave information, sometimes advice, and kept
people moving on. Little boys there, as elsewhere, had a strong
tendency to skylark and gaze at the busy officials inside, to the
obstruction of the way. The policeman checked their propensities. A
stout elderly female panted towards the mouth with a letter in one hand
and a paper in the other. She had full two minutes and a half to spare,
but felt convinced she was too late. The red-coated official posted her
letter, and pointed out the proper place for the newspaper. At two
minutes to six anxious people began to run while yet in the street.
Cool personages, seeing the clock, and feeling safe, affected an easy
nonchalance, but did not loiter. One minute to six--eager looks were on
the faces of those who, from all sides, converged towards the great
receiving-box. The active sprang up the wide stairs at a bound, heaved
in their bundles, or packets, or single missives, and heaved sighs of
relief after them; the timid stumbled on the stairs and blundered up to
the mouth; while the hasty almost plunged into it bodily. Even at this
critical moment there were lulls in the rush. Once there was almost a
dead pause, and at that moment an exquisite sauntered towards the mouth,
dropped a solitary little letter down the slope where whole cataracts
had been flowing, and turned away. He was almost carried off his legs
by two youths from a lawyer's office, who rushed up just as the first
stroke of six o'clock rang out on the night air. Slowly and grandly it
tolled from St. Paul's, whose mighty dome was visible above the
house-tops from the colonnade. During these fleeting moments a few
dozens of late ones posted some hundreds of letters. With kindly
consideration the authorities of St. Martin's-le-Grand have set their
timepieces one minute slow. Aware of this, a clerk, gasping and with a
pen behind his ear, leaped up the steps at the last stroke, and hurled
in a bundle of letters. Next moment, like inexorable fate, the mouth
closed, and nothing short of the demolition of the British Constitution
could have induced that mouth to convey another letter to the eight
o'clock mails.
Hope, however, was not utterly removed. Those who chose to place an
additional penny stamp on their letters could, by posting them in a
separate box, have them taken in for that mail up to seven. Twopence
secured their acceptance up to 7:15. Threepence up to 7:30, and
sixpence up to 7:45, but all letters posted after six without the late
fees were detained for the following mail.
"Sharp practice!" observed George Aspel to the red-coated official, who,
after shutting the mouth, placed a ticket above it which told all
corners that they were too late.
"Yes, sir, and pretty sharp work is needful when you consider that the
mails we've got to send out daily from this office consist of over 5800
bags, weighing forty-three tons, while the mails received number more
than 5500 bags. Speaks to a deal of correspondence that, don't it,
sir?"
"What!--every day?" exclaimed Aspel in surprise.
"Every day," replied the official, with a good-humoured smile and an
emphatic nod. "Why, sir," he continued, in a leisurely way, "we're some
what of a literary nation, we are. How many letters, now, d'you think,
pass through the Post-Office altogether--counting England, Scotland, and
Ireland?"
"Haven't the remotest idea."
"Well, sir," continued the red-coated man, with impressive solemnity,
"we passes through our hands in one year about one thousand and
fifty-seven million odd."
"I know enough of figures," said Aspel, with a laugh, "to be aware that
I cannot realise such a number."
"Nevertheless, sir," continued the official, with a patronising air,
"you can realise something _about_ such a number. For instance, that
sum gives thirty-two letters per head to the population in the year;
and, of course, as thousands of us can't write, and thousands more don't
write, it follows that the real correspondents of the kingdom do some
pretty stiff work in the writing way. But these are only the _letters_.
If you include somewhere about four hundred and twenty million
post-cards, newspapers, book-packets, and circulars, you have a sum
total of fourteen hundred and seventy-seven million odd passing through
our hands. Put that down in figures, sir, w'en you git home--
1,477,000,000--an p'r'aps it'll open your eyes a bit. If you want 'em
opened still wider, just try to find out how long it would take you to
count that sum, at the rate of sixty to the minute, beginning one, two,
three, and so on, workin' eight hours a day without takin' time for
meals, but givin' you off sixty-five days each year for Sundays and
holidays to recruit your wasted energies."
"How long _would_ it take?" asked Aspel, with an amused but interested
look.
"W'y, sir, it would take you just a little over one hundred and seventy
years. The calculation ain't difficult; you can try it for yourself if
you don't believe it.--Good-night, sir," added the red-coated official,
with a pleasant nod, as he turned and entered the great building, where
a huge proportion of this amazing work was being at that moment actively
manipulated.