Bother being caged up in this wooden box along with a boar-hound. Why a
boar-hound? Is he supposed to look after me? I rather like that, if he
is. "Look after _me_?" Why just with one touch of one of my forepaws I
could smash him in half a minute like two-twos. And for the matter of
that, that fellow with the whip, who imagines he keeps me in order, by
fixing his eye on me. Yes, and the horse too; the whole three of them.
But there's that bit of meat at the end of the performance, so I suppose
I may as well appear "to come the docile highly trained beast," and go
through with the tomfoolery and collar it. "Snarl?" _Do_ I? Of course I
do. It's the one outlet I have for my feelings. Who wouldn't snarl under
the circumstances? Fancy, me, the "King of Beasts" (it sounds like
chaff), dropping off a platform, at a given signal, on to the back of an
idiotic circus-horse, stared at through a lot of bars by a house packed
full of applauding fools! And we finish up by a scamper all round
together that seems vastly to amuse them! What a come-down for a Lion!
Learned pigs and educated bears are well enough, but they should know
where to draw the line and stop at the "Monarch." I keep pretty quiet at
present because it pays, but that snarl of mine may end in a roar. By
Jove! if it does, the horse, boar-hound, and fellow with the whip, had
better look out for themselves, and that's all I have got to say about
it at present.
* * * * *
Illustration: ETYMOLOGY.
"HOW DO YOU DO, MY LITTLE MAN? I'M YOUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOUR, YOU KNOW!"
"WHAT'S A _NEIGHBOUR_?"
"WELL--_NEIGH_ MEANS _NIGH_; THAT IS, _NEAR_, AND----"
"OH, THANK YOU. I KNOW WHAT _BORE_ MEANS!"
* * * * *
Illustration: THE DIVORCE SHOP.
PRIVATE INQUIRY AGENT. "WANT A DIVORCE, SIR?--CERTAINLY! ANY EVIDENCE
YOU MAY REQUIRE READY AT THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE NOTICE!!"