1. Our Lord offers us in His Divine Person a model of all the virtues.
Meekness, however, is the one that He seems to have wished more
particularly to propose for our imitation since He said: "Learn of Me for
I am meek and humble of heart."
2. Try, therefore, to acquire and always preserve in your soul this
christian virtue and to make all your exterior actions correspond with
it. I do not say that you should never have the slightest feeling of
irritation, as that would be to expect an impossibility; but you should
be attentive to repress these movements and never yield to them
voluntarily. It is natural for man to be often assailed by anger, says
Saint Jerome, but it is peculiar to the Christian not to allow himself to
be overcome by it.
3. A Christian, says Saint Bernard, who has no one at hand who gives him
occasion to suffer, should seek such a person eagerly and buy him at any
price, that he may have opportunity to practice meekness and patience. If
you are not disposed to go to this expense, at least profit of whatever
opportunities divine Providence has given you gratuitously, that you may
accustom yourself to the exercise of these two inestimable virtues.
4. An excellent rule to follow is to make a compact with your tongue such
as Saint Francis de Sales did with his, namely, that the tongue remain
silent whenever the feelings are irritated. Otherwise you will begin to
speak with the sincere resolution to keep within the bounds of moderation
and prudence, but you will never succeed in so doing, because the bridle
once loosened you will invariably be carried farther than you wished.
Reprimand from an angry man can do no good. Reproof is a moral remedy:
how would it be possible for you to select and administer this remedy
with discernment and prudence, when you yourself are ill and stand in
need of both medicine and physician? Wait therefore until your soul is at
peace, and when you have been restored to calmness you can speak
advantageously. Even when it is your positive duty to administer a
rebuke, defer it if possible until free from excitement, remembering that
to have a salutary effect both he who gives it and he who receives it
must be calm. Without this precaution the remedy will only aggravate the
disease.
5. When obliged to reprove the fault of another, never fail to pray that
God will speak to the person's heart whilst your words are sounding in
his ears.
6. Observe, however, with Saint Gregory the Great and Saint Thomas, that
if those it is your duty to correct abuse your mildness and
considerateness, you are then justified in repressing their boldness with
vigor and firmness. "Speak to the fool," says the Holy Spirit, "the
language that his folly renders necessary, that he may not continue wise
in his own eyes."[26] I repeat it: reproof is a remedy, and a remedy must
be chosen and proportioned according to the nature and gravity of the
evil.
XXI.
CONVERSATION.
Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but upon a
candlestick, that it may give light to all who are in a house.
Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works,
and glorify your Father who is in heaven. (St. Matthew, c. V., vv.
15-16.)
Contend not in words, for it is to no profit, but to the subversion of
the hearers. (St. Paul, II Tim., c. II., v. 14.)
1. Conversation should be marked by a gentle and devout pleasantness, and
your manner when engaged in it, ought to be equable, composed and
gracious. Mildness and cheerfulness make devotion and those who practice
it attractive to others. The holy abbot Saint Anthony, notwithstanding
the extraordinary austerities of his penitential life, always showed such
a smiling countenance that no one could look at him without pleasure.
2. We should be neither too talkative nor too silent,--it is as necessary
to avoid one extreme as the other. By speaking too much we expose
ourselves to a thousand dangers, so well known that they need not be
mentioned in detail: by not speaking enough we are apt to be a restraint
upon others, as it makes it seem as though we did not relish their
conversation, or wished to impress them with our superiority.
*"Take great care not to be too critical of conversations in which the
rules of devotion are not very exactly observed. In all such matters it
is necessary that charity should govern and enlighten us in order to make
us accede to the wishes of our neighbor in whatever is not in any way
contrary to the commandments of God."--Saint Francis de Sales.*
3. Do not conclude from this that it is necessary to count your words, as
it were, so as to keep your conversation within the proper limits. This
would be as puerile a scruple as counting one's steps when walking. A
holy spirit of liberty should dominate our conversations and serve to
instil into them a gentle and moderate gaiety.
4. If you hear some evil spoken of your neighbor do not immediately
become alarmed, as the matter may be true and quite public without your
having been aware of it. Should you be quite certain that there is
calumny or slander in the report, either because the evil told was false
or exaggerated or because it was not publicly known, then, according to
the place, the circumstances and your relations towards those present,
say with moderation what appears most fitting to justify or excuse your
neighbor. Or you may try to turn the conversation into other channels, or
simply be content to show your disapprobation by an expressive silence.
Remember, for the peace of your conscience, that one does not share in
the sin of slander unless he give some mark of approbation or
encouragement to the person who is guilty of it.
5. Do not imitate those who are scrupulous enough to imagine that charity
obliges them to undertake the defence of every evil mentioned in their
presence and to become the self-appointed advocates of whoever it may be
that has deserved censure. That which is really wrong cannot be
justified, and no one should attempt the fruitless task: and as to the
guilty, those who may do harm either through the scandal of their example
or the wickedness of their doctrines, it is right that they should be
shunned and openly denounced. "To cry out wolf, wolf," says Saint Francis
de Sales, "is kindness to the sheep."
6. The regard we owe our neighbor does not bind us to a politeness that
might be construed as an approval or encouragement of his vicious habits.
Hence if it happen that you hear an equivocal jest, a witticism slurring
at religion or morals, or anything else that really offends against
propriety, be careful not to give, through cowardice and in spite of your
conscience, any mark of approbation, were it only by one of those half
smiles that are often accorded unwillingly and afterwards regretted.
Flattery, even in the eyes of the world, is one of the most debasing of
falsehoods. Not even in the presence of the greatest earthly dignitaries,
will an honest, upright man sanction with his mouth that which he
condemns in his heart. He who sacrifices to vice the rights of truth not
only acts unlike a christian, but renders himself unworthy the name of
man.
7. In small social gatherings try to make yourself agreeable to everybody
present and to show to each some little mark of attention, if you can do
so without affectation. This may be done either by directly addressing
the person or by making a remark that you know will give him occasion to
speak of his own accord,--draw him out, as the saying is. It was by the
charm and urbanity of his conversation that Saint Francis de Sales
prepared the way for the conversion of numbers of heretics and sinners,
and by imitating him you will contribute towards making piety in the
world more attractive. In regard to priests you should always testify
your respect for the sacerdotal dignity quite independently of the
individual.
8. Disputes, sarcasm, bitter language, and intolerance for dissenting
opinions, are the scourges of conversation.
9. Although this adage comes to us from a pagan philosopher, we might
profitably bear it always in mind: "In conversation we should show
deference to our superiors, affability to our equals, and benevolence to
our inferiors."
10. Generally speaking, it is wrong for those whom God does not call to
abandon the world, to seclude themselves entirely and to shun all society
suited to their position in life. God, who is the source of all virtue,
is likewise the author of human society. Let the wicked hide themselves
if they will, their absence is no loss to the world; but good people make
themselves useful merely by being seen. It is well, moreover, the world
should know that in order to practice the teachings of the Gospel it is
not necessary to bury one's self in the desert; and that those who live
for the Creator can likewise live with the creatures whom He has made
according to His own image and likeness. Well, again, to show that a
devout life is neither sad nor austere, but simple, sweet and easy; that
far from being for those in the world an impediment to social relations,
it facilitates, perfects and sanctifies such; that the disciples of Jesus
Christ can, without becoming worldlings, live in the world; and that, in
fine, the Gospel is the sovereign code of perfection for persons in
society as well as for those who have renounced the world.
*Fénelon, who perhaps had even greater occasion than Saint Francis de
Sales to teach men of the world how to lead a Christian life in society,
wrote as follows to a person at court:
"You ought not to feel worried, it seems to me, in regard to those
diversions in which you cannot avoid taking part. I know there are those
who think it necessary that one should lament about everything, and
restrain himself continually by trying to excite disgust for the
amusements in which he must participate. As for me, I acknowledge that I
cannot reconcile myself to this severity. I prefer something more simple
and I believe that God, too, likes it better. When amusements are
innocent in themselves and we enter into them to conform to the customs
of the state of life in which Providence has placed us, then I believe
they are perfectly lawful. It is enough to keep within the bounds of
moderation and to remember God's presence. A dry, reserved manner,
conduct not thoroughly ingenuous and obliging, only serve to give a false
idea of piety to men of the world who are already too much prejudiced
against it, believing that a spiritual life cannot be otherwise than
gloomy and morose."*
11. If all confessors agreed in instilling these maxims, which are as
important as they are true, many persons who now keep themselves in
absolute seclusion and live in a sad and dreary solitude would remain in
society to the edification of their neighbor and the great advantage of
religion. The world would thus be disabused of its unjust prejudices
against a devout life and those who have embraced it.
12. Never remain idle except during the time you have allotted to rest or
recreation. Idleness begets lassitude, disposes to evil speaking and
gives occasion to the most dangerous temptations.
XXII.
DRESS.
Women also in decent apparel, adorning themselves with modesty and
sobriety. (St. Paul, I. Tim., c. II., v. 9.)
1. Clothing is worn for a threefold object: to observe the laws of
propriety, to protect our bodies from the inclemency of the weather, and,
finally, to adorn them, as Saint Paul says, with _modesty and sobriety_.
This third end is, as you see, not less legitimate than the other two,
provided you are careful to make it accord with them by confining it
within proper limits and not permitting it to be the only one to which
you attach any importance, so that neither health nor propriety be
sacrificed to personal appearance.
2. External ornamentation should correspond with each one's condition in
life. A just proportion in this matter, says Saint Thomas, is an offshoot
of the virtues of uprightness and sincerity, for there is a sort of
untruthfulness in appearing in garments that are calculated to give a
wrong impression as to the position in which God has placed us in this
world.
3. Be equally careful, then, to avoid over-nicety and carelessness in
respect to matters of toilet. Excessive nicety sins against moderation
and christian simplicity; negligence, against the order that should
govern certain externals in human society. This order requires that each
one's material life, and accordingly his attire which is a part of it, be
suitable to his rank and condition; that Esther be clad as a queen,
Judith as a woman of wealth and position, Agar as a bond-woman.
5. I shall not speak of immodest dress, for these instructions being
intended for pious persons or for those who are endeavoring to become
such, it would seem unnecessary. Nevertheless, as some false and
pernicious ideas on this subject prevail in the world and lead into error
souls desirous to do right, here are some fundamental principles that can
serve you as a rule and save you from similar mistakes.
5. A generally admitted custom can and even should be followed in all
indifferent matters; but no custom, however universal it may be, can ever
have the power to change the nature and essence of things or render
allowable that which is in itself indecent and immodest. Were it
otherwise, many sins could be justified by the sanction they receive in
fashionable society. Remember, therefore, that the sin of others can
never in the sight of God authorize yours, and that where it is the
fashion to sin it is likewise the fashion to go to hell. Hence it rests
with yourself whether you prefer to be saved with the few or to be damned
with the many.
XXIII.
HUMAN RESPECT.
I will pay my vows to the Lord before all his people.... Lo, I will not
restrain my lips.... I have not concealed thy mercy and thy truth from
a great council. (Psalms CXV. and XXXIX.)
That which you hear in the ear, preach ye upon the housetops....
Whosoever shall confess me before men, I will also confess him before
my Father who is in heaven. (St. Matthew, c. X., vv. 27-32.)
1. Charity towards your neighbor, tolerance for his opinions, indulgence
for his defects, compassion for his errors, yes; but no cowardly and
guilty concessions to human respect. Never allow fear of the ridicule or
contempt of men to make you blush for your faith.
2. We are not even forbidden to call one human weakness to the assistance
of another that is contrary to it: men do not like to contradict
themselves, and they dread to be considered fickle. Well, then, in order
that no person may be ignorant of the fact that you are a christian, once
for all boldly confess your faith and your firm resolve to practise it,
and let it be known that in all your actions your sole desire is to seek
the glory of God and the good of your neighbor. Let this profession be
made upon occasion in a gentle and modest manner, but firmly and
positively; and you will find that subsequently it will be much easier
for you to continue what you have thus courageously begun. (Read Chapters
I. and II., IVth Part of the _Introduction to a Devout Life_.)
XXIV.
RESOLUTIONS.
Long-standing custom will make resistance, but by a better habit shall
it be subdued. (_Imitation_, B. III., c. XII.)
To him who shall overcome, I will grant to sit with me in my throne, as
I also have overcome. (Apocalypse, c. III., v. 21.)
1. We should not undertake to perfect ourselves upon all points at once;
resolutions as to details ought to be made and carried out one by one,
directing them first against our predominant passion.
2. By a predominant passion we mean the source of that sin to which we
oftenest yield and from which spring the greater number of our faults.
3. In order to attack it successfully it is essential to make use of
strategy. It must be approached little by little, besieged with great
caution as if it were the stronghold of an enemy, and the outposts taken
one after another.
4. For example, if your ruling passion be anger, simply propose to
yourself in the beginning never to speak when you feel irritated. Renew
this resolution two or three times during the day and ask God's pardon
for every time you have failed against it.
5. When the results of this first resolution shall have become a habit,
so that you no longer have any difficulty in keeping it, you can take a
step forward. Propose, for instance, to repress promptly every thought
capable of agitating you, or of arousing interior anger; afterwards you
can adopt the practice of meeting without annoyance persons who are
naturally repugnant to you; then of being able to treat with especial
kindness those of whom you have reason to complain. Finally, you will
learn to see in all things, even in those most painful to nature, the
will of God offering you opportunities to acquire merit; and in those who
cause you suffering, only the instruments of this same merciful
providence. You will then no longer think of repulsing or bewailing them,
but will bless and thank your divine Saviour for having chosen you to
bear with Him the burden of His cross, and for deigning to hold to your
lips the precious chalice of His passion.
6. Some saints recommend us to make an act of hope or love or to perform
some act of mortification when we discover that we have failed to keep
our resolutions. This practice is good, but if you adopt it do not
consider it of obligation nor bind yourself so strictly to it as to
suppose you have committed a sin when you neglect it.
7. It is by this progressive method that you can at length succeed in
entirely overcoming your passions, and will be able to acquire the
virtues you lack. Always begin with what is easiest. Choose at first
external acts over which the will has greater control, and in time you
can advance from these, little by little, to the most interior and
difficult details of the spiritual life.
8. Resolutions of too general a character, such as, for example, to be
always moderate in speech, always patient, chaste, peaceable and the
like, ordinarily do not amount to much and sometimes to nothing at all.
9. To undertake little at a time, and to pursue this little with
perseverance until one has by degrees brought it to perfection, is a
common rule of human prudence. The saints particularly recommend us to
apply it to the subject of our resolutions.
XXV.
CONCLUSION.
But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and which have
been committed to thee; knowing of whom thou hast learned them. (St.
Paul, II Tim., c. III., v. 14.)
1. The writer of these instructions makes no pretension to have derived
them from his own wisdom. The material was furnished him by the greatest
saints and the most eminent doctors of the Church. You can therefore
believe in them with great confidence, follow them without fear and adopt
them as a safe and reliable guide in your spiritual life.
2. If you try to regulate your practice by making personal and
indiscriminate application of everything you find in sermons and books
you will never be at rest. _One draws you to the right, the other to the
left_, says Saint Francis de Sales: doctrine is one, but its applications
are many, and they vary according to time, place and person. Besides,
those who speak to a hardened multitude, from whom they cannot get even a
little without exacting a great deal, insist vehemently upon the subject
with which they wish to impress their hearers and for the time being
appear to forget everything else. If they preach on mortification of the
senses, fasting, or any other penitential work, they fail to explain the
proper manner of practising it, the limits that should not usually be
exceeded and the circumstances under which we can and should refrain from
it. This is due to the fact that the cowardly and the lukewarm, whom it
is more necessary to excite than to restrain, will take from these
instructions only just what is suitable for them. Now as these form the
majority, it is for them above all that it is necessary to speak.
3. It would then be better for you individually, without lessening your
respect and esteem for books of devotion and for preachers animated by
the spirit of God, to confine yourself as far as practice is concerned to
the advice of your director and to the teachings of the saints as
presented in this little volume.
4. Recall what has been already said, that Saint Francis de Sales
counsels you to select your spiritual guide from among ten thousand, and
to allow yourself subsequently to be entirely directed by him as though
he were an angel come down from heaven to conduct you there.
5. Without this rule of firm and confident obedience, books and sermons
and all that is said and written for the multitude, will become for you a
source of fatiguing inquietude, and of doubts and fears, owing to the
fact that you will try to assimilate things which were not intended for
you.
6. Remember, moreover, the pleasant saying of Saint Philip de
Neri,--namely, that he had a special predilection for those books the
authors of which had a name beginning with the letter S.; that is to say,
the works of the saints, because he supposed them to be more illumined by
heavenly wisdom.
Now, in observing these instructions you will have for guide and director
not the poor sinner who has compiled them for the glory of God and the
good of souls, but Saint Augustine, Saint Thomas, Saint Philip de Neri
and especially Saint Francis de Sales, in whom the Church recognizes and
admires such exalted sanctity, profound wisdom, and rare experience in
the direction of souls. These are the three eminent qualities requisite
to constitute a great doctor in the Catholic Church, and to form the
safest and the most enlightened guide for those who wish to be his
disciples.
ADDITIONS.
FINAL ADVICE IN REGARD TO HOLY COMMUNION.
A cause of frequent error and trouble, particularly in regard to Holy
Communion, is that feelings are confused with acts of the will. The
faculty of willing is the only one we possess as our own, the only one we
can use freely and at all times. Hence it follows that it is by the will
alone that we can in reality acquire merit or commit sin. The natural
virtues are gratuitous gifts of God. The world is right in esteeming them
for they come from Him, but it errs when it esteems them exclusively for
they do not of themselves give us any title to heaven. God has placed
them at the disposal of our will as means to an end, and we can make a
good or bad use of them just as we can of all God's other gifts. We may
be deprived of these natural virtues and live by the will alone,
spiritually dry and devoid of sentiment, and yet in a state of intimate
union with God.
This explanation is intended to reassure such persons as are disposed to
feel anxious when they find nothing in their hearts to correspond with
the effusions of sensible love with which books of devotion abound in the
preparation for Holy Communion. These usually make the mistake of taking
for granted the invariable existence of sentiment, and of addressing it
exclusively. How many souls do we not see who in consequence grow alarmed
about their condition, believing they are devoid of grace notwithstanding
their firm will to shun sin and to please God! They should, however, not
give way to anxiety, nor exhaust themselves by vain efforts to excite in
their hearts a sensibility that God has not given them. When He has
granted us this gift we owe Him homage for it as for all others; but God
only requires that each of His creatures should render an account of what
he has received, and free-will is the one thing that has been accorded
indiscriminately to all men. Thus we find Saint Francis de Sales, who
possessed in such a high degree sensible love of God and all the natural
virtues, making this positive declaration: "The greatest proof we can
have in this life that we are in the grace of God, is not sensible love
of Him, but the firm resolution never to consent to any sin great or
small."
Pious persons can make use of the following prayers with profit when they
are habitually or accidentally in the condition described above. They
will then see how the will alone, without the aid of feeling, can produce
acts of all the christian virtues.
Act of Confidence.