5. She was then by nature so very timid, that she would not dare

to be alone even by day, at times. And as she could not escape

from these visitations, though she tried with all her might, she

went about in very great distress, afraid that it was a delusion

of Satan, and began to consult spiritual men of the Society of

Jesus about it, among whom were Father Araoz, who was Commissary

of the Society, and who happened to go to that place, and Father

Francis, who was Duke of Gandia,--him she consulted twice; [1]

also a Provincial, now in Rome, called Gil Gonzalez, and him also

who is now Provincial of Castille,--this latter, however, not so

often,--Father Baltasar Alvarez who is now Rector in Salamanca;

and he heard her confession for six years at this time; also the

present Rector of Cuenca, Salazar by name; the Rector of Segovia,

called Santander; the Rector of Burgos, whose name is

Ripalda,--and he thought very ill of her when he heard of these

things, till after he had conversed with her; the Doctor Paul

Hernandez in Toledo, who was a Consultor of the Inquisition, him

who was Rector in Salamanca when she talked to him; the Doctor

Gutierrez, and other fathers, some of the Society, whom she knew

to be spiritual men, these she sought out, if any were in those

places where she went to found monasteries.

6. With the Father Fra Peter of Alcantara, who was a holy man of

the Barefooted Friars of St. Francis, she had many

communications, and he it was who insisted so much upon it that

her spirit should be regarded as good. They were more than six

years trying her spirit minutely, as it is already described at

very great length, [2] as will be shown hereafter: and she

herself in tears and deep affliction; for the more they tried

her, the more she fell into raptures, and into trances very

often,--not, however, deprived of her senses.

7. Many prayers were made, and many Masses were said, that our

Lord would lead her by another way, [3] for her fear was very

great when she was not in prayer; though in everything relating

to the state of her soul she was very much better, and a great

difference was visible, there was no vainglory, nor had she any

temptation thereto, nor to pride; on the contrary, she was very

much ashamed and confounded when she saw that people knew of her

state, and except with her confessors or any one who would give

her light, she never spoke of these things, and it was more

painful to speak of them than if they had been grave sins; for it

seemed to her that people must laugh at her, [4] and that these

things were womanish imaginations, which she had always heard of

with disgust.

8. About thirteen years ago, more or less, after the house of

St. Joseph was founded, into which she had gone from the other

monastery, came the present Bishop of Salamanca, Inquisitor, I

think, of Toledo, previously of Seville, Soto by name. [5] She

contrived to have a conference with him for her greater security,

and told him everything. He replied, that there was nothing in

all this that concerned his office, because everything that she

saw and heard confirmed her the more in the Catholic faith, in

which she always was, and is, firm, with most earnest desires for

the honour of God and the good of souls, willing to suffer death

many times for one of them.

9. He told her, when he saw how distressed she was, to give an

account of it all, and of her whole life, without omitting

anything, to the Master Avila, who was a man of great learning in

the way of prayer, and to rest content with the answer he should

give. She did so, and described her sins and her life. He wrote

to her and comforted her, giving her great security. The account

I gave was such that all those learned men who saw it--they were

my confessors--said that it was very profitable for instruction

in spiritual things; and they commanded her to make copies of it,

and write another little book [6] for her daughters,--she was

prioress,--wherein she might give them some instructions.

10. Notwithstanding all this, she was not without fears at times,

for she thought that spiritual men also might be deceived like

herself. She told her confessor that he might discuss these

things with certain learned men, though they were not much given

to prayer, for she had no other desire but that of knowing

whether what she experienced was in conformity with the sacred

writings or not. Now and then she took comfort in thinking

that--though she herself, because of her sins, deserved to fall

into delusions--our Lord would not suffer so many good men,

anxious to give her light, to be led into error.

11. Having this in view, she began to communicate with fathers of

the Order of the glorious St. Dominic, to which, before these

things took place, she had been to confession--she does not say

to them, but to the Order. [7] These are they with whom she

afterwards had relations. The Father Fra Vicente Barron, at that

time Consultor of the Holy Office, heard her confessions for

eighteen months in Toledo, and he had done so very many years

before these things began. He was a very learned man.

He reassured her greatly, as did also the fathers of the Society

spoken of before. All used to say, If she does not sin against

God, and acknowledges her own misery, what has she to be afraid

of? She confessed to the Father Fra Pedro Ibañez, who was reader

in Avila; to the Father-Master Fra Dominic Bañes, who is now in

Valladolid as rector of the college of St. Gregory, I confessed

for six years, and whenever I had occasion to do so communicated

with him by letter; also to the Master Chaves; to the

Father-Master Fra Bartholomew of Medina, professor in Salamanca,

of whom she knew that he thought ill of her; for she, having

heard this, thought that he, better than any other, could tell

her if she was deceived, because he had so little confidence in

her. This was more than two years ago. She contrived to go to

confession to him, and gave him a full account of everything

while she remained there; and he saw what she had written, [8]

for the purpose of attaining to a better understanding of the

matter. He reassured her so much, and more than all the rest,

and remained her very good friend.

12. She went to confession also to Fra Philip de Meneses, when

she founded the monastery of Valladolid, for he was rector of the

college of St. Gregory. He, having before that heard of her

state, had gone to Avila, that he might speak to her,--it was an

act of great charity,--being desirous of ascertaining whether she

was deluded, so that he might enlighten her, and, if she was not,

defend her when he heard her spoken against; and he was

much satisfied.

13. She also conferred particularly with Salinas, Dominican

Provincial, a man of great spirituality; with another licentiate

named Lunar, who was prior of St. Thomas of Avila; and, in

Segovia, with a reader, Fra Diego de Yangües.

14. Of these Dominicans some never failed to give themselves

greatly to prayer, and perhaps all did. Some others also she

consulted; for in so many years, and because of the fear she was

in, she had opportunities of doing so, especially as she went

about founding monasteries in so many places. Her spirit was

tried enough, for everybody wished to be able to enlighten her,

and thereby reassured her and themselves. She always, at all

times, wished to submit herself to whatever they enjoined her,

and she was therefore distressed when, as to these spiritual

things, she could not obey them. Both her own prayer, and that

of the nuns she has established, are always carefully directed

towards the propagation of the faith; and it was for that

purpose, and for the good of her Order, that she began her

first monastery.

15. She used to say that, if any of these things tended to lead

her against the Catholic faith and the law of God, she would not

need to seek for learned men nor tests, because she would see at

once that they came from Satan. She never undertook anything

merely because it came to her in prayer; on the contrary, when

her confessors bade her do the reverse, she did so without being

in the least troubled thereat, and she always told them

everything. For all that they told her that these things came

from God, she never so thoroughly believed them that she could

swear to it herself, though it did seem to her that they were

spiritually safe, because of the effects thereof, and of the

great graces which she at times received; but she always desired

virtues more than anything else; and this it is that she has

charged her nuns to desire, saying to them that the most humble

and mortified will be the most spiritual.

16. All that is told and written she communicated to the

Father-Master Fra Dominic Bañes, who is now in Valladolid, and

who is the person with whom she has had, and has still, the most

frequent communications. He sent her writings to the Holy Office

in Madrid, so it is said. In all this she submits herself to the

Catholic faith and the Roman Church. Nobody has found fault with

them, because these things are not in the power of any man, and

our Lord does not require what is impossible.

17. The reason why so much is known about her is that, as she was

in fear about herself, and described her state to so many, these

talked to one another on the subject and also the accident that

happened to what she had written. [9] This has been to her a

very grievous torment and cross, and has cost her many tears.

She says that this distress is not the effect of humility, but of

the causes already mentioned. Our Lord seems to have given

permission [10] for this torture for if one spoke more harshly of

her than others, by little and little he spoke more kindly

of her.

18. She took the greatest pains not to submit the state of her

soul to any one who she thought would believe that these things

came from God, for she was instantly afraid that the devil would

deceive them both. If she saw any one timid about these things,

to him she laid bare her secrets with the greater joy; though

also it gave her pain when, for the purpose of trying her, these

things were treated with contempt, for she thought some were

really from God, and she would not have people, even if they had

good cause, condemn them so absolutely; neither would she have

them believe that all were from God; and because she knew

perfectly well that delusion was possible, therefore it was that

she never thought herself altogether safe in a matter wherein

there might be danger.

19. She used to strive with all her might never in any way to

offend God, and was always obedient; and by these means she

thought she might obtain her deliverance, by the help of God,

even if Satan were the cause.

20. Ever since she became subject to these supernatural

visitations, her spirit is always inclined to seek after that

which is most perfect, and she had almost always a great desire

to suffer; and in the persecutions she underwent, and they were

many, she was comforted, and had a particular affection for her

persecutors. She had a great desire to be poor and lonely, and

to depart out of this land of exile in order to see God.

Through these effects, and others like them, she began to find

peace, thinking that a spirit which could leave her with these

virtues could not be an evil one, and they who had the charge of

her soul said so; but it was a peace that came from diminished

weariness, not from the cessation of fear.

21. The spirit she is of never urged her to make any of these

things known, but to be always obedient. [11] As it has been

said already, [12] she never saw anything with her bodily eyes,

but in a way so subtile and so intellectual that at first she

sometimes thought that all was the effect of imagination; at

other times she could not think so. These things were not

continual, but occurred for the most part when she was in some

trouble: as on one occasion, when for some days she had to bear

unendurable interior pains, and a restlessness of soul arising

out of the fear that she was deluded by Satan, as it is described

at length in the account she has given of it, [13] and where her

sins, for they have been so public, are mentioned with the rest:

for the fear she was in made her forget her own good name.

22. Being thus in distress such as cannot be described, at the

mere hearing interiorly these words, [14] "It is I, be not

afraid," her soul became so calm, courageous, and confident, that

she could not understand whence so great a blessing had come; for

her confessor had not been able--and many learned men, with many

words, had not been able--to give her that peace and rest which

this one word had given her. And thus, at other times, some

vision gave her strength, for without that she could not have

borne such great trials and contradictions, together with

infirmities without number, and which she still has to bear,

though they are not so many,--for she is never free from some

suffering or other, more or less intense. Her ordinary state is

constant pain, with many other infirmities, though since she

became a nun they are more troublesome, if she is doing anything

in the service of our Lord. And the mercies He shows her pass

quickly out of memory, though she often dwells on those

mercies,--but she is not able to dwell so long upon these as upon

her sins; these are always a torment to her, most commonly as

filth smelling foully.

23. That her sins are so many, and her service of God so scanty,

must be the reason why she is not tempted to vainglory.

There never was anything in any of these spiritual visitations

that was not wholly pure and clean, nor does she think it can be

otherwise if the spirit be good and the visitations supernatural,

for she utterly neglects the body and never thinks of it, being

wholly intent upon God.

24. She is also living in great fear about sinning against God,

and doing His will in all things; this is her continual prayer.

And she is, she thinks, so determined never to swerve from this,

that there is nothing her confessors might enjoin her, which she

considers to be for the greater honour of our Lord, that she

would not undertake and perform, by the help of our Lord.

And confident that His Majesty helps those who have resolved to

advance His service and glory, she thinks no more of herself and

of her own progress, in comparison with that, than if she did not

exist, so far as she knows herself, and her confessors think

so too.

25. All that is written in this paper is the simple truth, and

they, and all others who have had anything to do with her for

these twenty years, can justify it. Most frequently her spirit

urged her to praise God, and she wished that all the world gave

itself up to that, even though it should cost her exceedingly.

Hence the desire she has for the good of souls; and from

considering how vile are the things of this world, and how

precious are interior things, with which nothing can be compared,

she has attained to a contempt of the world.

26. As for the vision about which you, my father, wish to know

something, it is of this kind: she sees nothing either outwardly

or inwardly, for the vision is not imaginary: but, without seeing

anything, she understands what it is, and where it is, more

clearly than if she saw it, only nothing in particular presents

itself to her. She is like a person who feels that another is

close beside her; but because she is in the dark she sees him

not, yet is certain that he is there present. Still, this

comparison is not exact; for he who is in the dark, in some way

or other, through hearing a noise or having seen that person

before, knows he is there, or knew it before; but here there is

nothing of the kind, for without a word, inward or outward, the

soul clearly perceives who it is, where he is, and occasionally

what he means. [15] Why, or how, she perceives it, she knoweth

not; but so it is; and while it lasts, she cannot help being

aware of it. And when it is over,--though she may wish ever so

much to retain the image thereof,--she cannot do it, for it is

then clear to her that it would be, in that case, an act of the

imagination, not the vision itself,--that is not in her power;

and so it is with the supernatural things. And it is from this

it comes to pass that he in whom God works these graces despises

himself, and becomes more humble than he was ever before, for he

sees that this is a gift of God, and that he can neither add to

it nor take from it. The love and the desire become greater of

serving our Lord, who is so mighty that He can do that which is

more than our imagination can conceive here, as there are things

which men, however learned they may be, can never know.

Blessed for ever and ever be He who bestows this! Amen.

1. See Life, ch. xxiv. § 4.

2. See Life, ch. xxv. § 18.

3. See Life, ch. xxv. § 20, and ch. xxvii. § 1.

4. See Life, ch. xxvi. § 5.

5. Don Francisco de Soto y Salazar was a native of Bonilli de la

Sierra, and Vicar-General of the Bishops of Astorga and Avila,

and Canon of Avila; Inquisitor of Cordova, Seville, and Toledo;

Bishop, successively, of Albarracin, Segorve, and Salamanca.

He died at Merida, in 1576, poisoned, it was suspected, by the

sect of the Illuminati, who were alarmed at his faithful zeal and

holy life (Palafox, note to letter 19, vol. i. ed. Doblado).

"She went to the Inquisitor, Don Francisco Soto de Salazar--he

was afterwards Bishop of Salamanca--and said to him: 'My lord, I

am subject to certain extraordinary processes in prayer, such as

ecstasies, raptures, and revelations, and do not wish to be

deluded or deceived by Satan, or to do anything that is not

absolutely safe. I give myself up to the Inquisition to try me,

and examine my ways of going on, submitting myself to its

orders.' The Inquisitor replied: 'Señora, the business of the

Inquisition is not to try the spirit, nor to examine ways of

prayer, but to correct heretics. Do you, then, commit your

experience to writing, in all simplicity and truth, and send it

to the Father-Master Avila, who is a man of great spirituality

and learning, and extremely conversant with matters of prayer;

and when you shall have his answer, you may be sure there is

nothing to be afraid of'" (Jerome Gratian, Lucidario, cap. iii.).

6. This book is the Way of Perfection, written by direction of

F. Bañes.

7. The Saint had such great affection for the Order of

St. Dominic, that she used to say of herself, "Yo soy la Dominica

in passione," meaning thereby that she was in her heart a

Dominicaness, and a child of the Order (Palafox, note to letter

16, vol. i. ed. Doblado).

8. When this father had read the Life, he had it copied, with the

assent of F. Gratian, and gave the copy thus made to the Duchess

of Alba (De la Fuente).

9. See Foundations, ch. xvii. § 12, note.

10. Life, ch. xxiii. § 15.

11. Life, ch. xxvi. § 5.

12. § 4.

13. Life, ch. xxv. § 19.

14. Life, ch. xxv. § 22.

15. See Life, ch. xxvii. § 5.

Relation VIII.

Addressed to F. Rodrigo Alvarez.

1. These interior things of the spirit are so difficult to

describe, and, still more, in such a way as to be

understood,--the more so as they pass quickly away,--that, if

obedience did not help me, it would be a chance if I succeeded,

especially in such difficult things. I implore you, my father,

to take for granted that it is not in my mind to think this to be

correct, for it may well be that I do not understand the matter;

but what I can assure you of is this, that I will speak of

nothing I have not had experience of at times, and,

indeed, often.

2. I think it will please you, my father, if I begin by

discussing that which is at the root of supernatural things; for

that which relates to devotion, tenderness, tears, and

meditations, which is in our power here to acquire by the help of

our Lord, is understood.

3. The first prayer of which I was conscious,--in my opinion,

supernatural,--so I call that which no skill or effort of ours,

however much we labour, can attain to, though we should prepare

ourselves for it, and that preparation must be of great

service,--is a certain interior recollection [1] of which the

soul is sensible; the soul seems to have other senses within

itself then, which bear some likeness to the exterior senses it

possesses; and thus the soul, withdrawing into itself, seeks to

go away from the tumult of its outward senses, and accordingly it

drags them away with itself; for it closes the eyes on purpose

that it may neither see, nor hear, nor understand anything but

that whereon the soul is then intent, which is to be able to

converse with God alone. In this prayer there is no suspension

of the faculties and powers of the soul; it retains the full use

of them; but the use of them is retained that they may be

occupied with God. This will be easily understood by him whom

our Lord shall have raised to this state; but by him whom He has

not, not; at least, such a one will have need of many words

and illustrations.

4. Out of this recollection grow a certain quietude and inward

peace most full of comfort; for the soul is in such a state that

it does not seem to it that it wants anything; for even speaking

wearies it,--I mean by this, vocal prayer and meditation; it

would do nothing but love. This lasts some time, and even a

long time.

5. Out of this prayer comes usually what is called a sleep of the

faculties; but they are not so absorbed nor so suspended as that

it can be called a trance; nor is it altogether union.

6. Sometimes, and even often, the soul is aware that the will

alone is in union; and this it sees very clearly,--that is, it

seems so to it. The will is wholly intent upon God, and the soul

sees that it has no power to rest on, or do, anything else; and

at the same time the two other faculties are at liberty to attend

to other matters of the service of God,--in a word, Martha and

Mary are together. [2] I asked Father Francis [3] if this was a

delusion, for it made me stupid; and his reply was, that it

often happened.

7. When all the faculties of the soul are in union, it is a very

different state of things; for they can then do nothing whatever,

because the understanding is as it were surprised. The will

loves more than the understanding knows; but the understanding

does not know that the will loves, nor what it is doing, so as to

be able in any way to speak of it. As to the memory, the soul, I

think, has none then, nor any power of thinking, nor are the

senses awake, but rather as lost, so that the soul may be the

more occupied with the object of its fruition: so it seems to me.

They are lost but for a brief interval; it passes quickly away.

By the wealth of humility, and other virtues and desires, left in

the soul after this may be learnt how great the blessing is that

flows from this grace, but it cannot be told what it is; for,

though the soul applies itself to the understanding of it, it can

neither understand nor explain it. This, if it be real, is, in

my opinion, the greatest grace wrought by our Lord on this

spiritual road,--at least, it is one of the greatest.

8. Raptures and trance, in my opinion, are all one, only I am in

the habit of using the word trance instead of rapture, because

the latter word frightens people; and, indeed, the union of which

I am speaking may also be called a trance. The difference

between union and trance is this, that the latter lasts longer

and is more visible outwardly, because the breathing gradually

diminishes, so that it becomes impossible to speak or to open the

eyes; and though this very thing occurs when the soul is in

union, there is more violence in a trance for the natural warmth

vanishes, I know not how, when the rapture is deep; and in all

these kinds of prayer there is more or less of this. When it is

deep, as I was saying, the hands become cold, and sometimes stiff

and straight as pieces of wood; as to the body, if the rapture

comes on when it is standing or kneeling, it remains so; [4] and

the soul is so full of the joy of that which our Lord is setting

before it, that it seems to forget to animate the body, and

abandons it. If the rapture lasts, the nerves are made to

feel it.

9. It seems to me that our Lord will have the soul know more of

that, the fruition of which it has, in a trance than in union,

and accordingly in a rapture the soul receives most commonly

certain revelations of His Majesty, and the effects thereof on

the soul are great,--a forgetfulness of self, through the longing

it has that God our Lord, who is so high, may be known and

praised. In my opinion, if the rapture be from God, the soul

cannot fail to obtain a deep conviction of its own helplessness,

and of its wretchedness and ingratitude, in that it has not

served Him who, of His own goodness only, bestows upon it graces

so great; for the feeling and the sweetness are so high above all

things that may be compared therewith that, if the recollection

of them did not pass away, all the satisfactions of earth would

be always loathsome to it; and hence comes the contempt for all

the things of the world.

10. The difference between trance and transport [5] is this,--in

a trance the soul gradually dies to outward things, losing the

senses and living unto God. A transport comes on by one sole act

of His Majesty, wrought in the innermost part of the soul with

such swiftness that it is as if the higher part thereof were

carried away, and the soul leaving the body. Accordingly it

requires courage at first to throw itself into the arms of our

Lord, that He may take it whithersoever He will; for, until His

Majesty establishes it in peace there whither He is pleased to

take it--by take it I mean the admitting of it to the knowledge

of deep things--it certainly requires in the beginning to be

firmly resolved to die for Him, because the poor soul does not

know what this means--that is, at first. The virtues, as it

seems to me, remain stronger after this, for there is a growth in

detachment, and the power of God, who is so mighty, is the more

known, so that the soul loves and fears Him. For so it is, He

carries away the soul, no longer in our power, as the true Lord

thereof, which is filled with a deep sorrow for having offended

Him, and astonishment that it ever dared to offend a Majesty so

great, with an exceedingly earnest desire that none may

henceforth offend Him, and that all may praise Him. This, I

think, must be the source of those very fervent desires for the

salvation of souls, and for some share therein, and for the due

praising of God.

11. The flight of the spirit--I know not how to call it--is a

rising upwards from the very depths of the soul. I remember only

this comparison, and I made use of it before, as you know, my

father, in that writing where these and other ways of prayer are

explained at length, [6] and such is my memory that I forget

things at once. It seems to me that soul and spirit are one and

the same thing; but only as a fire, if it is great and ready for

burning; so, like fire burning rapidly, the soul, in that

preparation of itself which is the work of God, sends up a

flame,--the flame ascends on high, but the fire thereof is the

same as that below, nor does the flame cease to be fire because

it ascends: so here, in the soul, something so subtile and so

swift, seems to issue from it, that ascends to the higher part,

and goes thither whither our Lord wills. I cannot go further

with the explanation; it seems a flight, and I know of nothing

else wherewith to compare it: I know that it cannot be mistaken,

for it is most evident when it occurs, and that it cannot

be hindered.

12. This little bird of the spirit seems to have escaped out of

this wretchedness of the flesh, out of the prison of this body,

and now, disentangled therefrom, is able to be the more intent on

that which our Lord is giving it. The flight of the spirit is

something so fine, of such inestimable worth, as the soul

perceives it, that all delusion therein seems impossible, or

anything of the kind, when it occurs. It was afterwards that

fear arose, because she who received this grace was so wicked;

for she saw what good reasons she had to be afraid of everything,

though in her innermost soul there remained an assurance and a

confidence wherein she was able to live, but not enough to make

her cease from the anxiety she was in not to be deceived.

13. By impetus I mean that desire which at times rushes into the

soul, without being preceded by prayer, and this is most

frequently the case; it is a sudden remembering that the soul is

away from God, or of a word it has heard to that effect.

This remembering is occasionally so strong and vehement that the

soul in a moment becomes as if the reason were gone, just like a

person who suddenly hears most painful tidings of which he knew

not before, or is surprised; such a one seems deprived of the

power of collecting his thoughts for his own comfort, and is as

one lost. So is it in this state, except that the suffering

arises from this, that there abides in the soul a conviction that

it would be well worth dying in it. It seems that whatever the

soul then perceives does but increase its suffering, and that our

Lord will have its whole being find no comfort in anything, nor

remember that it is His will that it should live: the soul seems

to itself to be in great and indescribable loneliness, and

abandoned of all, because the world, and all that is in it, gives

it pain; and because it finds no companionship in any created

thing, the soul seeks its Creator alone, and this it sees to be

impossible unless it dies; and as it must not kill itself, it is

dying to die, and there is really a risk of death, and it sees

itself hanging between heaven and earth, not knowing what to do

with itself. And from time to time God gives it a certain

knowledge of Himself, that it may see what it loses, in a way so

strange that no explanation of it is possible; and there is no

pain in the world--at least I have felt none--that is equal or

like unto this, for if it lasts but half an hour the whole body

is out of joint, and the bones so racked, that I am not able to

write with my hands: the pains I endure are most grievous. [7]

14. But nothing of all this is felt till the impetus shall have

passed away. He to whom it comes has enough to do in enduring

that which is going on within him, nor do I believe that he would

feel if he were grievously tortured: he is in possession of all

his senses, can speak, and even observe; walk about he

cannot,--the great blow of that love throws him down to the

ground. If we were to die to have this, it would be of no use,

for it cannot be except when God sends it. It leaves great

effects and blessings in the soul. Some learned men say that it

is this, others that it is that, but no one condemns it. The

Father-Master d'Avila wrote to me and said it was good, and so

say all. The soul clearly understands that it is a great grace

from our Lord; were it to occur more frequently, life would not

last long.

15. The ordinary impetus is, that this desire of serving God

comes on with a certain tenderness, accompanied with tears, out

of a longing to depart from this land of exile; but as the soul

retains its freedom, wherein it reflects that its living on is

according to our Lord's will, it takes comfort in that thought,

and offers its life to Him, beseeching Him that it may last only

for His glory. This done, it bears all.

16. Another prayer very common is a certain kind of wounding; [8]

for it really seems to the soul as if an arrow were thrust

through the heart, or through itself. Thus it causes great

suffering, which makes the soul complain; but the suffering is so

sweet, that it wishes it never would end. The suffering is not

one of sense, neither is the wound physical; it is in the

interior of the soul, without any appearance of bodily pain; but

as I cannot explain it except by comparing it with other pains, I

make use of these clumsy expressions,--for such they are when

applied to this suffering. I cannot, however, explain it in any

other way. It is, therefore, neither to be written of nor spoken

of, because it is impossible for any one to understand it who has

not had experience of it,--I mean, how far the pain can go; for

the pains of the spirit are very different from those of earth.

I gather, therefore, from this, that the souls in hell and

purgatory suffer more than we can imagine, by considering these

pains of the body.

17. At other times, this wound of love seems to issue from the

inmost depth of the soul; great are the effects of it; and when

our Lord does not inflict it, there is no help for it, whatever

we may do to obtain it; nor can it be avoided when it is His

pleasure to inflict it. The effects of it are those longings

after God, so quick and so fine that they cannot be described and

when the soul sees itself hindered and kept back from entering,

as it desires, on the fruition of God, it conceives a great

loathing for the body, on which it looks as a thick wall which

hinders it from that fruition which it then seems to have entered

upon within itself, and unhindered by the body. It then

comprehends the great evil that has befallen us through the sin

of Adam in robbing us of this liberty. [9]

18. This prayer I had before the raptures and the great

impetuosities I have been speaking of. I forgot to say that

these great impetuosities scarcely ever leave me, except through

a trance or great sweetness in our Lord, whereby He comforts the

soul, and gives it courage to live on for His sake.

19. All this that I speak of cannot be the effect of the

imagination; and I have some reasons for saying this, but it

would be wearisome to enter on them: whether it be good or not is

known to our Lord. The effects thereof, and how it profits the

soul, pass all comprehension, as it seems to me.

20. I see clearly that the Persons are distinct, as I saw it

yesterday when you, my father, were talking to the Father

Provincial; only I saw nothing, and heard nothing, as, my father,

I have already told you. But there is a strange certainty about

it, though the eyes of the soul see nothing; and when the

presence is withdrawn, that withdrawal is felt. How it is, I

know not; but I do know very well that it is not an imagination,

because I cannot reproduce the vision when it is over, even if I

were to perish in the effort; but I have tried to do so. So is

it with all that I have spoken of here, so far as I can see; for,

as I have been in this state for so many years, I have been able

to observe, so that I can say so with this confidence. The truth

is,--and you, my father, should attend to this,--that, as to the

Person who always speaks, I can certainly say which of Them He

seems to me to be; of the others I cannot say so much. One of

Them I know well has never spoken. I never knew why, nor do I

busy myself in asking more of God than He is pleased to give,

because in that case, I believe, I should be deluded by Satan, at

once; nor will I ask now, because of the fear I am in.

21. I think the First spoke to me at times; but as I do not

remember that very well now, nor what it was that He spoke, I

will not venture to say so. It is all written,--you, my father,

know where,--and more at large than it is here; I know not

whether in the same words or not. [10] Though the Persons are

distinct in a strange way, the soul knows One only God. I do not

remember that our Lord ever seemed to speak to me but in His

Human Nature; and--I say it again--I can assure you that this is

no imagination.

22. What, my father, you say about the water, I know not; nor

have I heard where the earthly paradise is. I have already said

that I cannot but listen to what our Lord tells me; I hear it

because I cannot help myself; but, as for asking His Majesty to

reveal anything to me, that is what I have never done. In that

case, I should immediately think I was imagining things, and that

I must be in a delusion of Satan. God be praised, I have never

been curious about things, and I do not care to know more than I

do. [11] What I have learnt, without seeking to learn, as I have

just said, has been a great trouble to me, though it has been the

means, I believe, which our Lord made use of to save me, seeing

that I was so wicked; good people do not need so much to make

them serve His Majesty.

23. I remember another way of prayer which I had before the one I

mentioned first,--namely, a presence of God, which is not a

vision at all. It seems that any one, if he recommends himself

to His Majesty, even if he only prays vocally, finds Him; every

one, at all times, can do this, if we except seasons of aridity.

May He grant I may not by my own fault lose mercies so great, and

may He have compassion on me!

1. Inner Fortress, iv. ch. iii.

2. See Life, ch. xvii. § 5.

3. Compare Life, ch. xxiv. § 4.

4. See Life, ch. xx. § 23.

5. "Arrobamiento y arrebatamiento."

6. See Life, chs. xx. and xxi.

7. Life, ch. xx. § 16; Inner Fortress, vi. c. xi.

8. See Life, ch. xxix. § 17.

9. See Life, ch. xvii. § 9.

10. See Relation, iii. § 6.

11. See St. John of the Cross, Ascent of Mount Carmel,

bk. ii. ch. xxii.

Relation IX.

Of Certain Spiritual Graces She Received in Toledo and Avila in

the Years 1576 and 1577.

1. I had begun to go to confession to a certain person [1] in the

city wherein I am at present staying, when he, though he had much

good will towards me, and always has had since he took upon

himself the charge of my soul, ceased to come here; and one

night, when I was in prayer, and thinking how he failed me, I

understood that God kept him from coming because it was expedient

for me to treat of the affairs of my soul with a certain person

on the spot. [2] I was distressed because I had to form new

relations--it might be he would not understand me, and would

disturb me--and because I had a great affection for him who did

me this charity, though I was always spiritually content when I

saw or heard the latter preach; also, I thought it would not do

because of his many occupations. Our Lord said to me: "I will

cause him to hear and understand thee. Make thyself known unto

him; it will be some relief to thee in thy troubles." The latter

part was addressed to me, I think, because I was then so worn out

by the absence of God. His Majesty also said that He saw very

well the trouble I was in; but it could not be otherwise while I

lived in this land of exile: all was for my good; and he

comforted me greatly. So it has been: he comforts me, and seeks

opportunities to do so; he has understood me, and given me great

relief; he is a most learned and holy man.

2. One day,--it was the Feast of the Presentation,--I was praying

earnestly to God for a certain person, and thinking that after

all the possession of property and of freedom was unfitting for

that high sanctity which I wished him to attain to; I reflected

on his weak health, and on the spiritual health which he

communicated to souls; and I heard these words: "He serves Me

greatly; but the great thing is to follow Me stripped of

everything, as I was on the cross. Tell him to trust in Me."

These last words were said because I thought he could not, with

his weak health, attain to such perfection.

3. Once, when I was thinking of the pain it was to me to eat meat

and do no penance, I understood that there was at times more of

self-love in that feeling than of a desire for penance.

4. Once, when I was in great distress because of my offences

against God, He said to me: "All thy sins in My sight are as if

they were not. For the future, be strong; for thy troubles are

not over."

5. One day, in prayer, I felt my soul in God in such a way that

it seemed to me as if the world did not exist, I was so absorbed

in Him. He made me then understand that verse of the Magnificat,

"Et exultavit spiritus meus," so that I can never forget it.

6. Once, when I was thinking how people sought to destroy this

monastery of the Barefooted Carmelites, and that they purposed,

perhaps, to bring about the destruction of them all by degrees, I

heard: "They do purpose it; nevertheless, they will never see it

done, but very much the reverse."

7. Once, in deep recollection, I was praying to God for

Eliseus; [3] I heard this: "He is My true son; I will never fail

him," or to that effect; but I am not sure of the latter words.

8. Having one day conversed with a person who had given up much

for God, and calling to mind that I had given up nothing for Him,

and had never served Him in anything, as I was bound to do, and

then considering the many graces He had wrought in my soul, I

began to be exceedingly weary; and our Lord said to me: "Thou

knowest of the betrothal between thee and Myself, and therefore

all I have is thine; and so I give thee all the labours and

sorrows I endured, and thou canst therefore ask of My Father as

if they were thine." Though I have heard that we are partakers

therein, [4] now it was in a way so different that it seemed as

if I had become possessed of a great principality; for the

affection with which He wrought this grace cannot be described.

The Father seemed to ratify the gift; and from that time forth I

look at our Lord's Passion in a very different light, as on

something that belongs to me; and that gives me

great comfort. [5]

9. On the Feast of the Magdalene, when thinking of the great love

I am bound to have for our Lord, according to the words He spoke

to, me in reference to this Saint, and having great desires to

imitate her, our Lord was very gracious unto me, and said, I was

to be henceforward strong; for I had to serve Him more than I had

hitherto done. [6] He filled me with a desire not to die so

soon, that I might have the time to occupy myself therein; and I

remained with a great resolution to suffer.

10. On one occasion, I understood how our Lord was in all things,

and how He was in the soul; and the illustration of a sponge

filled with water was suggested to me.

11. When my brothers came,--and I owe so much to one of

them, [7]--I remained in conversation with him concerning his

soul and his affairs, which wearied and distressed me; and as I

was offering this up to our Lord, and thinking that I did it all

because I was under obligations to him, I remembered that by our

Constitutions [8] we are commanded to separate ourselves from our

kindred, and I was set thinking whether I was under any

obligation, our Lord said to me: "No, My daughter; the

regulations of the Order must be only in conformity with My law."

The truth is, that the end of the Constitutions is, that we are

not to be attached to our kindred; and to converse with them, as

it seems to me, is rather wearisome, and it is painful to have

anything to do with them.

12. After Communion, on St. Augustine's Day, I understood, and,

as it were, saw,--I cannot tell how, unless it was by an

intellectual vision which passed rapidly away,--how the Three

Persons of the most Holy Trinity, whom I have always imprinted in

my soul, are One. This was revealed in a representation so

strange, and in a light so clear, that the impression made upon

me was very different from that which I have by faith. From that

time forth I have never been able to think of One of the Three

Divine Persons without thinking of the Three; so that to-day,

when I was considering how, the Three being One, the Son alone

took our flesh upon Him, our Lord showed me how, though They are

One, They are also distinct. These are marvels which make the

soul desire anew to be rid of the hindrances which the body

interposes between it and the fruition of them. Though this

passes away in a moment, there remains a gain to the soul

incomparably greater than any it might have made by meditation

during many years; and all without knowing how it happens.

13. I have a special joy on the Feast of our Lady's Nativity.

When this day was come, I thought it would be well to renew our

vows; and thereupon I saw our Lady, by an illuminative vision;

and it seemed as if we made them before her and that they were

pleasing unto her. I had this vision constantly for some days,

and our Lady was by me on my left hand. One day, after

Communion, it seemed to me that my soul was really one with the

most Holy Body of our Lord, then present before me; and that

wrought a great work and blessing in me.

14. I was once thinking whether I was to be sent to reform a

certain monastery; [9] and, distressed at it, I heard: "What art

thou afraid of? What canst thou lose?--only thy life, which thou

hast so often offered to Me. I will help thee." This was in

prayer, which was of such a nature as to ease my

soul exceedingly.

15. Once, having a desire to render some service to our Lord, I

considered that I could serve Him but poorly, and said to myself:

"Why, O Lord, dost Thou desire my works?" And He answered: "To

see thy good will, My child."

16. Once our Lord gave me light in a matter that I was very glad

to understand, and I immediately forgot it, so that I was never

able to call it again to mind; and so, when I was trying to

remember it, I heard: "Thou knowest now that I speak to thee from

time to time. Do not omit to write down what I say; for, though

it may not profit thee, it may be that it will profit others."

As I was thinking whether I, for my sins, had to be of use to

others, and be lost myself, He said to me: "Have no fear."

17. I was once recollected in that companionship which I ever

have in my soul, and it seemed to me that God was present therein

in such a way that I remembered how St. Peter said: "Thou art

Christ, the Son of the living God;" [10] for the living God was

in my soul. This is not like other visions, for it overpowers

faith; so that it is impossible to doubt of the indwelling of the

Trinity in our souls, by presence, power, and essence. To know

this truth is of the very highest gain; and as I stood amazed to

see His Majesty in a thing so vile as my soul, I heard: "It is

not vile, My child, for it is made in My image." [11] I also

learnt something of the reason why God delights in souls more

than in any other creatures: it is so subtile that, though the

understanding quickly comprehended it, I cannot tell it.

18. When I was in such distress, because of the troubles of our

father, [12] that I had no rest, and after Communion one day was

making most earnestly my petition to our Lord that, as He had

given him to me, I might not lose him, He said to me: "Have

no fear."

19. Once, with that presence of the Three Persons which I have in

my soul, I was in light so clear that no doubt of the presence of

the true and living God was possible; and I then came to the

knowledge of things which afterwards I could not speak of. One of

these things was, how the person of the Son only took human

flesh. I cannot, as I have just said, explain it at all; for

some of these things were wrought in the secret recesses of the

soul, and the understanding seems to grasp them only as one who

is in his sleep, or half awake, thinks he comprehends what is

told him. I was thinking how hard it was to remain alive, seeing

that it was living on that robbed us of that marvellous

companionship; and so I said to myself: "O Lord, show me some way

whereby I may bear this life!" He said unto me: "Think, my

child, when life is over, thou canst not serve Me as thou art

serving Me now, and eat for Me, and sleep for Me. Whatsoever

thou doest, let it be done for Me as if thou wert no longer

living, but I; for that is what St. Paul said." [13]

20. Once, after Communion, I saw how His Father within our soul

accepts the most Holy Body of Christ. I have understood and seen

how the Divine Persons are there, and how pleasing is this

offering of His Son, because He has His joy and delight in Him,

so to speak, here on earth; for it is not the Humanity only that

is with us in our, souls, but the Divinity as well, and thus is

it so pleasing and acceptable unto Him, and gives us graces so

great. I understood also that He accepts the sacrifice, though

the priest be in sin; but then the grace of it is not

communicated to his soul as it is to their souls who are in a

state of grace: not that the inflowings of grace, which proceed

from this Communion wherein the Father accepts the sacrifice,

cease to flow in their strength, but because of his fault who has

to receive them; as it is not the fault of the sun that it does

not illumine a lump of pitch, when its rays strike it as it

illumines a globe of crystal. If I could now describe it, I

should be better understood; it is a great matter to know this,

because there are grand secrets within us when we are at

Communion. It is sad that these bodies of ours do not allow us

to have the fruition thereof.

21. During the Octave of All Saints, [14] I had two or three days

of exceeding anguish, the result of my remembrance of my great

sins, and I was also in great dread of persecutions, which had no

foundation except that great accusations were brought against me,

and all my resolutions to suffer anything for God failed me:

though I sought to encourage myself, and made corresponding acts,

and saw that all would be a great pain for me, it was to little

purpose, for the fear never left me. It was a sharp warfare.

I came across a letter, in which my good father [15] had written

that St. Paul said that our God does not suffer us to be tempted

beyond our power to bear. [16] This was a very great relief to

me, but was not enough; yea, rather, on the next day I was in

great distress at his absence, for I had no one to go to in this

trouble, for I seemed to be living in great loneliness. And it

added to my grief to see that I now find no one but he who can

comfort me, and he must be more than ever away, which is a very

sore trouble.

22. The next night after this, reading in a book, I found another

saying of St. Paul, with which I began to be comforted; and being

slightly recollected, I remained thinking how I had our Lord

before present within me, so that I truly saw Him to be the

living God. While thinking on this He spoke to me, and I saw Him

in my inmost being, as it were beside my heart, in an

intellectual vision; His words were: "I am here, only I will have

thee see how little thou canst do without Me." I was on the

instant reassured, and my fears left me; and while at Matins that

very night our Lord Himself, in an intellectual vision so clear

as to seem almost imaginary, laid Himself in my arms, as He is

painted in the pictures of our Lady of Anguish. [17] The vision

made me very much afraid, for it was so clear, and so close to

me, that it made me think whether it was an illusion or not.

He said to me, "Be not afraid of it, for the union of My Father

with thy soul is incomparably closer than this." The vision has

remained with me till now. What I have said of our Lord

continued more than a month: now it has left me.

23. I was one night in great distress, because it was then a long

time since I had heard anything of my father; [18] and, moreover,

he was not well the last time he wrote to me. However, my

distress was not so great as that I felt before, for I had hopes,

and distress like that I never was in since; but still my anxiety

hindered my prayer. He appeared to me on the instant; it could

not have been the effect of imagination, for I saw a light within

me, and himself coming by the way joyous, with a face all fair.

It must have been the light I saw that made his face fair, for

all the saints in heaven seem so; and I considered whether it be

the light and splendour proceeding from our Lord that render them

thus fair. I heard this: "Tell him to begin at once without

fear, for the victory is his."

24. One day, after he came, when I was at night giving thanks to

our Lord for the many mercies He had given unto me, He said to

me: "O my child, what canst thou ask that I have not done?"

25. Our Lord said to me one day, in the monastery of Veas, that I

was to present my petition to Him, for I was His bride.

He promised to grant whatever I might ask of Him, and, as a

pledge, gave me a very beautiful ring, with a stone set in it

like an amethyst, but of a brilliancy very unlike, which He put

on my finger. I write this to my own confusion, considering the

goodness of God, and my wretched life; for I have deserved hell.

Ah! my daughters, pray to God for me, and be devout to

St. Joseph, who can do much. This folly I write . . . folly

I write. . . .

26. On the eve of St. Laurence, at Communion, I was so distracted

and dissipated in mind, that I had no power over it, and began to

envy those who dwell in desert places; thinking that, as they see

and hear nothing, they are exempt from distractions. I heard

this: "Thou art greatly deceived, My daughter; on the contrary,

the temptations of Satan are more violent there. Have patience

while life lasts, it cannot be helped." While dwelling on this,

I became suddenly recollected, and I saw a great light within me,

so that I thought I was in another world, and my spirit found

itself interiorly in a forest and in a garden of delights, which

made me remember those words of the Canticle: [19] "Veniat

dilectus meus in hortum suum." I saw my Eliseus [20] there, not

at all swarthy, but in strange beauty: around his head was a

garland of precious stones; a multitude of damsels went before

him with palms in their hands, all singing hymns of praise unto

God. I did nothing but open my eyes, to see whether I could not

distract myself from the vision, but that failed to divert my

attention; and I thought there was music also,--the singing of

birds and of angels,--which filled my soul with joy, though I did

not hear any. My soul was in joy, and did not consider that

there was nobody else there. I heard these words: "He has

merited to be among you, and all this rejoicing which thou

beholdest will take place on the day he shall set aside for the

honour of My Mother; [21] and do thou make haste, if thou wouldst

reach the place where he is." This vision lasted more than an

hour and a half. In this respect--differently from my other

visions--I could not turn away from it, and it filled me with

delight. The effect of the vision was a great affection for

Eliseus, and a more frequent thinking of him in that beauty.

I have had a fear of its being a temptation, for work of the

imagination it could not possibly be. [22]

27. The day after the presentation of the Brief, [23] as I was in

the most eager expectation, which utterly disturbed me, so that I

could not even pray,--for I had been told that our father was in

great straits because they would not let him come away, and that

there was a great tumult,--I heard these words: "O woman of

little faith, be quiet; everything is going on perfectly well."

It was the Feast of the Presentation of our Lady, in the year

1575. I resolved within myself, if our Lady obtained from her

Son that we might see ourselves and our father free of these

friars, to ask him to order the solemn celebration of that feast

every year in our monasteries of the Barefooted Carmelites.

When I made this resolution, I did not remember what I had heard

in a former vision, that he would establish this solemnity.

Now, in reading again this little paper, I think this must be the

feast referred to. [24]

1. F. Yepes, then prior of St. Jerome's, Toledo (De la Fuente).

2. Don Alonzo Velasquez, canon of Toledo, to whom Relation xi. is

addressed. The Saint speaks of this in a letter to Fra Gratian

in 1576. The letter is numbered 82 in the edition of Don

Vicente, and 23 in the fourth volume of the edition of Doblado.

3. Fra Jerome Gratian (De la Fuente).

4. 1 St. Peter iv. 13: "Communicantes Christi

passionibus, gaudete."

5. This took place in 1575, when she was going to found her

monastery in Seville (Ribera, l. iv. c. v. n. 110).

6. See § 4, above.

7. This was in 1575, when the Saint was founding the monastery of

Seville; and the brother was Don Lorenzo, returned from the

Indies, and who now placed himself under the direction of his

sister (De la Fuente).

8. In the Chapter "De la Clausura," § 16: "De tratar con deudos

se desvien lo mas que pudieren."

9. The monastery of Paterna, of the unreformed Carmelites.

This was in 1576 (De la Fuente).

10. St. Matt. xvi. 16: "Tu es Christus, Filius Dei vivi."

11. Gen. i. 26: "Ad imaginem et similitudinem Nostram."

12. Fra Jerome Gratian. This took place during the persecution

that fell on the reformed Carmelites at the end of the year 1575,

and during the following year. See the last paragraph of this

Relation (De la Fuente; see, also, Relation vi. § 1).

13. Galat. ii. 20: "Vivo autem, jam non ego: vivit vero in

me Christus."

14. A.D. 1577 (De la Fuente).

15. Jerome Gratian (id.).

16. 1 Cor. x. 13: "Fidelis autem Deus est qui non patietur vos

tentari supra id quod potestis."

17. Don Vicente says, that here is a proof--if any were

wanting--that the Saint wrote this after her sojourn in Seville;

because in Avila and in Castile and Aragon the expression is,

"our Lady of Dolors;" while in Andalucia it is our Lady of

Anguish--"Nuestra Señora de las Angustias."

18. Fra Jerome Gratian.

19. Cant. v. 1.

20. This was the name given to Fra Jerome Gratian, when the Saint

was driven, by the persecution raised against her, to distinguish

her friends by other designations than those by which they were

usually known: this fragment cannot have been written before the

year 1578 (De la Fuente).

21. See the last section.

22. Don Vicente published §§ 25 and 26 as fragments separately

(vol. i. pp. 524-526); but, as they seem to form a part of the

series of events spoken of in this Relation, they have been

placed here.

23. Fra Jerome Gratian exhibited the brief which made him

Visitor-Apostolic to the unreformed Carmelites, who were very

angry thereat, and rude in their vexation.

24. See § 26.

Relation X.

Of a Revelation to the Saint at Avila, 1579, and of Certain

Directions Concerning the Government of the Order.

In St. Joseph of Avila, on Pentecost eve, in the hermitage of

Nazareth, thinking of one of the greatest graces our Lord had

given me on that day some twenty years before, [1] more or less,

my spirit was vehemently stirred and grew hot within me, [2] and

I fell into a trance. In that profound recollection I heard our

Lord say what I am now going to tell: I was to say to the

Barefooted Fathers, as from Him, that they must strive to observe

four things; and that so long as they observed them, the Order

would increase more and more; and if they neglected them, they

should know that they were falling away from their first estate.

The first is, the superiors of the monasteries are to be of

one mind.

The second, even if they have many monasteries, to have but few

friars in each.

The third, to converse little with people in the world, and that

only for the good of their souls.

The fourth, to teach more by works than by words.

This happened in the year 1579; and because it is a great truth,

I have put my name to it.

Teresa de Jesús.

1. See Life, ch. xxxviii. § 11.

2. Psalm xxxviii. 3: "Concaluit cor meum intra me."

Relation XI.

Written from Palencia in May 1581, and Addressed to Don Alonzo

Velasquez, Bishop of Osma, Who Had Been, When Canon of Toledo,

One of the Saint's Confessors. [1]

Jesus.

1. Oh, that I could clearly explain to your Lordship the peace

and quiet my soul has found! for it has so great a certainty of

the fruition of God, that it seems to be as if already in

possession, [2] though the joy is withheld. I am as one to whom

another has granted by deed a large revenue, into the enjoyment

and use of which he is to come at a certain time, but until then

has nothing but the right already given him to the revenue.

In gratitude for this, my soul would abstain from the joy of it,

because it has not deserved it; it wishes only to serve Him, even

if in great suffering, and at times it thinks it would be very

little if, till the end of the world, it had to serve Him who has

given it this right; for, in truth, it is in some measure no

longer subject, as before, to the miseries of this world; though

it suffers more, it seems as if only the habit were struck, for

my soul is, as it were, in a fortress with authority, and

accordingly does not lose its peace. Still, this confidence does

not remove from it its great fear of offending God, nor make it

less careful to put away every hindrance to His service, yea,

rather, it is more careful than before. But it is so forgetful

of its own interests as to seem, in some measure, to have lost

itself, so forgetful of self is it in this. Everything is

directed to the honour of God, to the doing of His will more and

more, and the advancement of His glory.

2. Though this be so, yet, in all that relates to health and the

care of the body, it seems to me that I am more careful than I

was, that I mortify myself less in my food, and do fewer

penances: it is not so with the desires I had; they seem to be

greater. All this is done that I may be the better able to serve

God in other things, for I offer to Him very often, as a great

sacrifice, the care I take of my body, and that wearies me much,

and I try it sometimes in acts of mortification; but, after all,

this cannot be done without losing health, and I must not neglect

what my superiors command. Herein, and in the wish for health,

much self-love also must insinuate itself; but, as it seems to

me, I feel that it would give me more pleasure, and it gave me

more pleasure when I was strong, to do penance, for, at least, I

seemed to be doing something, and was giving a good example, and

I was free from the vexation which arises out of the fact that I

am not serving God at all. Your Lordship will see what it will

be best to do in the matter.

3. The imaginary visions have ceased, but the intellectual vision

of the Three Persons and of the Sacred Humanity seems ever

present, and that, I believe, is a vision of a much higher kind;

and I understand now, so I think, that the visions I had came

from God, because they prepared my soul for its present state;

they were given only because I was so wretched and so weak: God

led me by the way which He saw was necessary; but they are, in my

opinion, of great worth when they come from God.

4. The interior locutions have not left me, for, whenever it is

necessary, our Lord gives me certain directions; and now, in

Palencia, were it not for these, there would have been committed

a great blunder, though not a sin. [3]

5. The acts and desires do not seem to be so vigorous as they

used to be, for, though they are great, I have one much greater

to see the will of God accomplished and His glory increased; for

as the soul is well aware that His Majesty knoweth what is

expedient herein, and is so far removed from all self-seeking,

these acts and desires quickly end, and, as it seems to me, have

no strength. Hence the fear I have at times though without

disquietude and pain as formerly, that my soul is dulled, and

that I am doing nothing, because I can do no penance; acts of

desire for suffering, for martyrdom, and of the vision of God,

have no strength in them, and, most frequently, I cannot make

them. I seem to live only for eating and drinking, and avoiding

pain in everything; and yet this gives me none, except that

sometimes, as I said before, I am afraid that this is a delusion;

but I cannot believe it, because so far as I can see, I am not

under the sway of any strong attachment to any created thing, not

even to all the bliss of heaven, but only to the love of God; and

this does not grow less,--on the contrary, I believe it is

growing, together with the longing that all men may serve Him.

6. But, for all this, one thing amazes me: I have not the

feelings I had formerly, so strong and so interior, which

tormented me when I saw souls go to their ruin, and when I used

to think I had offended God. I cannot have these feelings now,

though I believe my desire that God be not sinned against is not

less than it was.

7. Your Lordship must consider that in all this, in my present as

well as in my previous state, I can do no more, and that it is

not in my power to serve Him better: I might do so, if I were not

so wicked. I may say, also, that if I were now to make great

efforts to wish to die, I could not, nor can I make the acts I

used to make, nor feel the pains I felt for having offended God,

nor the great fears I had for so many years when I thought I was

under a delusion: and accordingly, I have no need of learned men,

or of speaking to anybody at all, only to satisfy myself that I

am going the right road now, and whether I can do anything.

I have consulted certain persons on this point, with whom I had

taken counsel on the others, with Fra Dominic [i.e., Bañes], the

Master Medina, and certain members of the Society. I will be

satisfied with the answer which you, my Lord, may give me,

because of the great trust I have in your Lordship. Consider it

carefully, for the love of God! Neither do I cease to learn that

certain souls of people connected with me when they died are in

heaven: of others I learn nothing. Oh, in what solitude I find

myself when I consider that the comparison of which I spoke to

you, concerning the return from Egypt, does not apply to the

child at my mother's breast. [4]

8. I am at peace within; and my likings and dislikings have so

little power to take from me the Presence of the Three Persons,

of which, while it continues, it is so impossible to doubt, that

I seem clearly to know by experience what is recorded by

St. John, that God will make His dwelling in the soul: [5] and

not only by grace, but because He will have the soul feel that

presence, and it brings with it so many blessings, particularly

this, that there is no need to run after reflections to learn

that God is there. This is almost always the state I am in,

except when my great infirmities oppress me. Sometimes, God will

have me suffer without any inward comfort; but my will never

swerves--not even in its first movements--from the will of God.

This resignation to His will is so efficacious, that I desire

neither life nor death, except for some moments, when I long to

see God; and then the Presence of the Three Persons becomes so

distinct as to relieve the pain of the absence, and I wish to

live--if such be His good pleasure--to serve Him still longer.

And if I might help, by my prayers, to make but one soul love Him

more, and praise Him, and that only for a short time, I think

that of more importance than to dwell in glory.

The unworthy servant and daughter of your Lordship,

Teresa de Jesús.

1. This Relation is usually printed among the letters of the

Saint, and Don Vicente did not change the practice, assigning as

his reason the Saint's reference in § 4 to certain transactions

in which she was engaged. The letter is the 333rd (336th in the

second edition), and the 4th of vol. ii., ed. Doblado, and is

probably the latest account of the state of her soul, for she

died on October 4 in the following year.

2. See Inner Fortress, vii. ch. ii.

3. This relates to the taking of the hermitage of our Lady de la

Calle, in Palencia (De la Fuente). See Foundations, ch. xxix.

4. "La soledad que me hace pensar no se puede dar aquel sentido à

el que mama los pechos de mi madre, la ida de Egito!"

This passage, Don Vicente observes, was omitted in all editions

prior to his; he does not know what it means; and the translator

can give no corresponding English words. [Transcriber's note:

The Spanish quoted here was printed in the body of the text,

p. 479; English rendition supplied from Corrigenda, p. [viii].]

5. St. John xiv. 23: "Mansionem apud eum faciemus."

Index.

Abecedario, Tercer, iv. 8.

Agony in raptures, xx. 15.

Ahumada, de, Antonio, iv. 1.

Ahumada, de, Doña Beatriz, mother of St. Teresa, death of, i. 7;

seen in heaven by the Saint, xxxviii. 1.

Ahumada, de, Juana, sister of the Saint, xxxiii. 13.

Alcala, monastery founded in, xxxvi. 29, note.

Alcantara. See St. Peter of Alcantara.

Almsgiving of the Saint, i. 6, Rel. ii. 3.

Alvarez, F. Baltasar, xxiv. 6, xxv. 18; mortifies the Saint,

xxvi. 4; humility of, xxviii. 20; promise of, to protect the

Saint, xxviii. 21; always consoled the Saint, xxix. 5; hesitates

about the new foundation, xxxii. 16; commands the Saint to

abandon it, xxxiii. 4; orders her to proceed, xxxiii. 13.

Alvarez, F. Rodrigo, Rel. viii.

Amendment of life, the work of prayer, viii. 6-12.

Amusements, vii. 1, Rel. i. 14.

Angels and evil spirits, vision of, xxxi. 11.

Angel, the Saint's vision of the, xxix. 16-18.

Answers to the Saint's prayers, xxxix. 1-7.

Antony, St., of Padua, xxii. 10.

Aranda, de, Don Gonzalo, xxxvi. 18.

Aridity, how it comes on in the second state of prayer, xv. 15.

Art, the, of serving God, xii. 2.

Ascent of the Mount, xxiii. 13.

Assumption, the, vision of, xxxix. 37.

Attachments, evil effects of worldly, xi. 5; xxiii. 5.

Augustin, St., Confessions of, ix. 8; effect of reading them on

the Saint, ix. 9; saying of, xiii. 4.

Avila, birthplace of St. Teresa, troubled by the new foundation:

xxxvi. 14.

Avila, Bl., Juan of, Rel. vii. 9.

Báñes, Fr. Dom., xxxvi. 15; transmits the Saint's writings to the

Inquisition, Rel. vii. 16.

Barrientos. See Martin.

Barron, Fra Vicente, confessor of the Saint's father, vii. 26;

hears the confession of the Saint, vii. 27, xix. 19.

Beauty of our Lord, xxviii. 2, xxix. 2, xxxvii. 5;

unimaginable, xxviii. 7.

Beginners, must toil, xi. 13; and persevere, xi. 15-17; not to be

afraid of the cross, xi. 25; must be content, xii. 2; certain

temptations of, vii. 16, xiii. 9; must begin humbly, xv. 19.

Bernard, St., xxii. 10.

Betrothal spiritual, of the Saint, Rel. ix. 8, 25.

Bird, the soul likened to a, xviii. 13, xix. 22.

Bishopric, a, the Saint consulted about the acceptance of,

xl. 21.

Blessed, the, joys of, x. 3.

Blindness healed through the prayer of the Saint, xxxix. 1.

Body, the, shares the joy of the soul in certain states of

prayer, xvii. 14, xviii. 15; state of, in raptures, xx. 2, 4, 23;

our Lord seen by the Saint always in His glorified, xxix. 4.

Book, a living, xxvi. 6.

Books insufficient without a director, xxii. 3.

Borja, de, St. Francis. See Francis.

Brief, the, sanctioning the observances of St. Joseph's,

xxxiv. 2, xxxvi. 1, xxxix. 20.

Brizeño, Doña Maria, ii. 12; influences the Saint, iii. 1.

Bulls, the Sabbatine, xxxviii. 40.

Cardona, de, Doña Catalina, Rel. iii. 12.

Carmel, the Order of, vision concerning, Rel. iii. 14; advice to,

Rel. x.

Caterpillar of self-respect, xxxi. 24.

Catherine, St., of Siena, xxii. 10.

Censoriousness of the world, xxxi. 19.

Cepeda, de, Alfonso Sanchez, father of the Saint, fond of

spiritual books, i. 1; gives his daughter Maria in marriage,

ii. 4, note, 8; places the Saint at school in a monastery, ii. 8;

would not consent to her becoming a nun, iii. 9; takes her to

Bezadas to be cured, v. 5, 6; brings her to his house in Avila,

v. 15; hinders her from making her confession in an illness,

v. 17; persuaded by the Saint to practise mental prayer, vii. 16;

makes progress therein, vii. 20; holy death of, vii. 22-25; seen

in heaven by the Saint, xxxviii. 1.

Cepeda, de, Don Lorenzo, finds money for the new monastery of

St. Joseph, xxxiii. 13.

Cepeda, de, Maria, sister of the Saint, ii. 4; sudden death of,

xxxiv. 24; seen in heaven by the Saint, xxxiv. 25.

Cerda, de la, Doña Luisa, xxxiv. 1; attracted by the Saint,

xxxiv. 4; visited by St. Peter of Alcantara, xxxv. 6; tries to

amuse the Saint by showing her diamonds, xxxviii. 5; the Saint's

watchfulness over herself in the house of, xxxix. 11.

Cheerfulness, importance of, xii. 1.

Cherubim, xxix. 16.

Choice of a director, xiii. 28, 29.

Church, the, ceremonies of, xxxi. 4; the Saint's reverence for,

xxxiii. 6.

Clare, St., encourages the Saint, xxxiii. 15.

Comforts, worldly, the Saint's fear of, xxxiv. 4.

Communion, effects of the Saint's, xvi. 3-10, xviii. 10-18,

xxx. 16, xxxviii. 24, Rel. iv. 5, Rel. ix. 13; the Saint's

longing for, xxxix. 31; graces of, Rel. ix. 20.

Complaint, loving, of the Saint, xxxvii. 13.

Confession, frequent, of the Saint, v. 17; matter of, Rel. v. 11.

Confessors, the Saint's difficulty in finding, iv. 8, 13; harm

done by ill-instructed, v. 6, 20, vi. 6; one of them misleads the

Saint, viii. 15; unskilful, xx. 28; wrong counsel of, xxvi. 5; of

the Saint harsh with her, xxx. 15; obedience of the Saint to her,

xxiii. 19, xxxiii. 4, 5, Rel, i. 9; the Saint rebuked for her

affection to her, xxxvii. 6; names of the Saint's, Rel. vii. 5,

11, 12, 13.

Consecration, power of the words of, xxxviii. 30.

Consolations, xi. 21; not to be sought for, xxii. 15.

Contemplation, xxii. 1; why granted to imperfect souls,

xxii. 22, 23.

Contempt, Satan shuns, xxxi. 10; the Saint directed to treat her

visions with, xxix. 6.

Contradiction of good people, xxviii. 24, xxx. 6.

Conversation, worldly, vii. 10; danger of, ii. 5, vii. 10;

delight of our Lord in spiritual, xxxiv. 20.

Conversion of a wicked priest, v. 12; of a sinner, xxxix. 5.

Courage of the Saint, viii. 10; necessity of, x. 8; effects of,

xiii. 3; necessary in the way of perfection, xxxi. 19.

Covetousness, xxxiii. 14.

Cowardice, spiritual, xiii. 6.

Creator, the, traces of, in things visible, ix. 6.

Crosses, xi. 8; desired by souls in the prayer of imperfect

union, xvi. 9.

Cross, the, way of, xi. 8, xv. 17, 21; necessity of carrying,

xxvii. 14.

Daza, Gaspar, xxiii. 6; thought the Saint was deluded by an evil

spirit, xxiii. 16; approved of the new foundation, xxxii. 21.

Delusion, a, into which the Saint fell, xxii. 3; the Saint always

prayed to be delivered from, xxix. 6.

Delusions incidental to locutions, xxv. 3, 11.

Desires, good, xiii. 8, xxi. 9, Rel. xi. 5.

Desolation, spiritual, of the Saint, xxx. 10.

Detachment, blessing of, xi. 2, xxxiv. 20; necessity of, for

prayer, xi. 16, xv. 17; of the perfect, xv. 18; an effect of

raptures, xviii. 8, xx. 10; takes away the fear of death,

xxxviii. 7; the Saint's, from kindred, xxxi. 22, Rel. ii. 5,

Rel. ix. 11; from directors, Rel. iv. 3.

Detraction, avoided by the Saint, vi. 4, vii. 3; insensibility

to, Rel. ii. 4.

Detractors, the Saint prays for her, xix. 11.

Devotion, sweetness in, never asked for by the Saint, ix. 10; but

once, ix. 11; those who seek it censured, xi. 21; the Saint's,

increased by difficulties, xxviii. 10.

Die, either to, or suffer, xl. 27.

Direction, unskilful, viii. 15, 16; importance of, xiii. 4;

methods of wrong, xiii. 25; not to be the same for all,

xxxix. 16.

Directors ought to be experienced, xiii. 21; and prudent,

xiii. 24; and learned, xiii. 26; choice of, xiii. 28; charity of,

xiii. 29; should be secret, xxiii. 14; and humble, xxxiv. 15;

should be trusted, xxxix. 35; necessary, xl. 12; the Saint

preferred those who distrusted her, Rel. vii. 18.

Discouragements, xi. 15; must be resisted, xix. 6; certain causes

of, xxxi. 21.

Discretion, xi. 23, xiii. 2; excessive, xiii. 8.

Distraction of the understanding in the prayer of quiet, xv. 10,

xxx. 19; in monasteries not caused by poverty, xxxv. 3.

Distrust of self, viii. 18, ix. 3; necessity of, xix. 20.

"Domine, da mihi aquam," xxx. 24.

Dominicans, the, help St. Teresa, v. 8, Rel. vii. 11-14.

Dominion, true, xl. 21.

Dove, vision of a, xxxviii. 13, 14.

Ecija, vow of the Saint in the hermitage of, Rel. vi. 3.

Ecstasy, xx. 1; how wrought, xx. 2; fear during, xx. 9; first, of

the Saint, xxiv. 7.

Egypt, flesh-pots of, xv. 5.

Elevation of the spirit not to be attempted in union, xviii. 8.

Eliseus. See Jerome, Fra, of the Mother of God.

Enclosure, observance of, how important, vii. 5.

Endowments not accepted by the Saint for her monasteries,

xxxv. 4, 5; offered for St. Joseph, xxxvi. 19; and forbidden by a

Brief, xxxix. 20.

Envy, a holy, xxxix. 19.

Exorcisms, the Saint threatened with, Boll. 211, xxix. 4.

Experience, more valuable than books, xiv. 10; a safeguard

against delusion, xiv. 11.

Faith, the, Satan was never able to make the Saint doubt,

xix. 13; blessed effects of, xxv. 16.

Falls turn to our good, xix. 8.

Fear, xxv. 27; of God, xxvi. 1.

Founders of religious Orders, xxxii. 17.

Francis, St., xxii. 10.

Francis, St., de Borja visits the Saint, xxiv. 4; consulted by

her, Rel. vii. 5.

Friendship, advantages of spiritual, vii. 33-37, xxx. 6; with

God, xv. 8; the Saint's detachment from, xxiv. 8.

Friendship, worldly, dangers of, ii. 4, v. 9; deceitfulness of,

xxi. 1.

Garden, the prayer in the, ix. 5; the soul likened to a, xi. 10,

xiv. 13.

Gifts of God, the, importance of discerning, x. 4; demand our

gratitude, x. 7; supply strength, x. 8; a grace to understand,

xvii. 7; the Saint erroneously advised to conceal, xxvi. 5; given

according to His will, xxxiv. 14, xxxix. 12; the Saint's joy when

others received, xxxiv. 21.

God, sense of the presence of, x. 1; helps those who love Him,

xi. 19; never fails those who trust Him, xiii. 15; munificence

of, xviii. 5; the Saint has a vision of, xl. 13, 14; pain of

absence from, Rel. iv. 6.

Grace, prayer the door of, viii. 13; comes after trials, xi. 18;

the Saint's distress because she could not know whether she was

in a state of, xxxiv. 12; vision of a soul in, Rel. iii. 13.

Guzman, de, y Barrientos, Don Martin, sudden death of, xxxiv. 24.

Hardships of the religious life, xiii. 30.

Health, anxiety about, v. 3-8; importance of, in the spiritual

life, xi. 23; to be made little of, xiii. 9.

Heaven, Queen of, xix. 9; revealed in raptures, xxxiii. 16,

xxxviii. 8.

Hell, a vision of, xxx. 14, xxxii. 1; effects of, on the Saint,

xxxii. 7-10.

Heretics, self-condemned, vii. 8; evil state of, xxxii. 9;

resemble a broken mirror, xl. 9.

Hilarion, St., the Saint commends herself to, xxvii. 2.

Honour, point of, xxi. 12.

Hugo, Fra, Cardinal of Santa Sabina, xxxvi. 27.

Humanity, the Sacred, xii. 3, xxii. 1; mistake of the Saint

concerning, xxii. 3; source of all grace, xxii. 9; never to be

lost sight of in prayer, xxii. 11; the Saint directed to fix her

thoughts on, xxiii. 18; the Saint renews her love of, xxiv. 2;

vision of, xxviii. 4, xxxviii. 22.

Humility, advantages of, vii. 37, xii. 9; false kinds of, x. 4,

xiii. 4; the foundation of the Christian life, xii. 5; worth more

than all the science in the world, xv. 13; grows most in the

state of perfect union, xix. 2; dangers of false, xix. 15-23;

acquired in raptures, xx. 38; foundation of prayer must be laid

in, xxii. 16; a false, the most crafty device of Satan, xxx. 12;

asking for consolations not consistent with, xxxix. 21-23.

Hypocrisy, the Saint not tempted to, vii. 2, Rel. i. 18.

Ibañez, Fra Pedro, x. 10, note, xvi. 10; note 6; consulted by the

Saint about the new foundation, xxxii. 19; encourages the Saint

to persevere, xxxii. 20; confident of success, xxxiii. 5; departs

from Avila, xxxiii. 7; advises the Saint to accept an endowment

for the new foundation, xxxv. 5; changes his opinion, xxxv. 7;

and helps the Saint, xxxvi. 23; seen by the Saint in a vision,

xxxviii. 15, 16.

Illness of St. Teresa, iv. 6, v. 4; extreme severity of, v. 14.

Image of our Lord not to be mocked, xxix. 7.

Images, devotion of the Saint to, vii. 3; effects of, on her,

ix. 1-3; great blessing of, ix. 7.

Imagination of St. Teresa not active, ix. 6; wearisome to her,

xvii. 9.

Imitation of the Saints, xiii. 5-9.

Imperfections, rooting up of, xiv. 14.

Impetuosities in prayer, xxix. 11-13, Rel. i. 3, Rel. viii. 13.

Impetuosities of divine love, xxix. 10, 11, 13, xxxiii. 9;

physical effects of, xxix. 15.

Incarnation, the monastery of the, the Saint enters, iv. 1; the

nuns of, complain of the Saint, xix. 12; the Saint tempted to

leave, xxxi. 16; the rule not strictly observed in, xxxii. 12;

the Saint's affection for, xxxii. 13, xxxiii. 3; nuns of, object

to the new foundation, xxxiii. 2; election of prioress, xxxv. 8;

the Saint returns to, from Toledo, xxxv. 10, xxxvi. 1; troubled

because of the new foundation, xxxvi. 11.

Indisposition, bodily, evil effects of, on the spiritual life,

xi. 23.

Ingratitude, delusion arising from the dread of, xxiv. 6; the

Saint bewails her, xiv. 16.

Inquisition, the, threats of denouncing the Saint to, xxxiii. 6.

Inspirations, good, not to be resisted, iv. 3.

Intentions, good, no excuse for an evil act, v. 12.

Jerome, Fra, of the Mother of God, Rel. vi. 1-3, Rel. ix. 7, 21,

23, 26.

Jerome, St., xi. 17, xxxviii. 2; the Saint reads the letters of,

iii. 8.

Jesus, the Society of, helps the Saint, v. 8; sought by her,

xxiii. 3, 19; visions concerning, xxxviii. 17, 39.

Job, patience of, v. 16; trial of, xxx. 12.

John, St., of the Cross, Rel. iii. 19.

Joseph, St., great devotion of the Saint to, vi. 9, xxx. 8,

xxxvi. 5; the teacher of prayer, vi. 12; encourages the Saint,

xxxiii. 14; vision of, xxxiii. 16.

Joseph, St., the monastery of, purchase of the site of,

xxxii. 22; not to be subject to the Order, xxxiii. 18; paradise

of God's delight, xxxv. 13; foundation of, xxxvi. 4; destruction

of, threatened by the council of the city, xxxvi. 14; obtains the

good will of the people, xxxvi. 25; goodness of the nuns of,

xxxix. 14.

Joys, of prayer, x. 3; of visions, xxvii. 13; of the saved,

xxvii. 15.

Judas, temptation of, xix. 16.

Judgment, day of, xl. 16.

Kindred, detachment from, xxxi. 22, Rel. ix. 11.

Kings, obligations of, xxi. 2, 4; wherein lies the power of,

xxxvii. 8.

Labourer, story of a, xxxviii. 26.

Laxity in religious houses, vii. 6-10.

Learning, accompanied with humility, a help to prayer, xii. 6;

useful in directors, xiii. 24-26; the Saint wishes for, xiv. 9;

not necessary in prayer, xv. 12.

Lie, a, Satan is, xxv. 26; the Saint's hatred of, xxviii. 6.

Life, the, of the Saint, under what circumstances written, x. 11.

Life, weariness of, xxi. 8; the illuminative, xxii. 1.

Light of visions, xxviii. 7, xxxviii. 3.

Locutions, divine, xix. 14, xxv. 1, 2; delusions incidental to,

xxv. 3, 11; efficacy of, xxv. 5, 12; human, xxv. 8; Satanic,

xxv. 13; tests of the Satanic, xxv. 17; nature of, xxvi. 3; state

of the understanding during, xxvii. 10; effects of the divine,

xxxviii. 19-21.

Locutions heard by the Saint, xviii. 18, xix. 13, xxiv. 7,

xxv. 22, xxvi. 3, 6, xxix. 7, xxx. 17, xxxi. 15, xxxii. 17,

xxxiii. 10, 14, xxxv. 7, 9, xxxvi. 20, xxxviii. 4, 19, 20,

xxxix. 29, 34, xl. 1, 21, 24, Rel. iii. 1, passim, Rel. iv. 4, 5,

6, Rel. ix. 1, passim.

Lord, our, accounted mad, xxvii. 15.

Love, joyous, in seeing a picture of Christ, ix. 7; servants of,

xi. 1; wherein it consists, xi. 20; vehement in perfect souls,

xv. 6; effects of divine, xxii. 21; makes itself known without

words, xxvii. 12; impetuosities of, xxix. 10, 11; fire of,

xxx. 25.

Loyalty, worldly, v. 9.

Ludolf of Saxony, xxxviii. 11.

Lukewarmness, vii. 1.

Lutherans, xxxii. 9, Rel. ii. 14; destroyers of images,

Rel. v. 5.

Madness, spiritual, xvi. 1-8, xxvii. 15.

Magdalene, the, ix. 2, xxi. 9; her example to be followed,

xxii. 19.

Mancio, F., Rel. ii. 18.

Mantles of the religious folded by the Saint, xxxi. 27.

Maria of Jesus, xxxv. 1; founds a house in Alcala de Henares,

xxxvi. 29.

Martin, Don, Guzman y Barrientos, marries a sister of the Saint,

ii. 4, note, iii. 4; sudden death of, xxxiv. 24.

Martyrdom desired by the Saint, i. 4.

Martyrs, the, sufferings of, xvi. 6.

Mary and Martha, xvii. 6, xxii. 13.

Meditation, advantage of, iv. 11; fruits of, xi. 20; example of

a, xiii. 19; the perfect may have to return to, xv. 20.

Memory, the, in the prayer of imperfect union, xvii. 5, 9;

troublesome, but not hurtful, xvii. 11.

Mendoza, de, Don Alvaro, Bishop of Avila, xxxiii. 19; protects

the new monastery of St. Joseph, xxxvi. 18.

Men, great, difficult of access, xxxvii. 7.

Mercies of God, the remembrance of, xv. 23.

Michael, St., the Saint commends herself to, xxvii. 2.

Misdirection, a, corrected by the Saint, xiii. 22.

Mitigation, the Bull of, xxxii. 12; disused in the new monastery,

xxxvi. 27, 28.

Monasteries, courts in politeness, xxxvii. 17.

Munificence of God, xviii. 5, xxii. 26.

Neatness, excessive, ii. 2, Rel. i. 23.

Novices in St. Joseph's, xxxix. 15.

Novitiate of the Saint, v. 1.

Nun, illness of a, in the monastery of the Incarnation, v. 3;

visions concerning a, xxxviii. 37, 38.

Obedience, the Saint writes under, xviii. 10; strict observance

of, in the Society of Jesus, xxxiii. 9; of the Saint to her

confessors, xxiii. 19, Rel. i. 9, 29, Rel. vii. 14.

Objects, natural, moved the Saint to devotion, ix. 6.

Ocampo, de, Mary, xxxii. 13, note.

Office, the divine, the Saint's imperfect knowledge of, xxxi. 26.

Order, vision concerning a certain, xl. 18, 19.

Osorno, Countess of, Rel. iii. 16.

Ovalle, de, Don Juan, xxxv. 14, note; providential illness of,

xxxvi. 2.

Padranos, de, Juan, xxiii. 18; directs the Saint, xxiv. 1;

removed from Avila, xxiv. 5.

Pain of raptures, xx. 11; sweetness of, xx. 19.

Paradise of His delight, xxxv. 13.

"Passer solitarius," xx. 13.

Passion, the, devotion of the Saint to, ix. 5; meditation on,

xiii. 19, 20, xxii. 8.

Patience of a nun, v. 3; of the Saint, v. 16; of God, viii. 8.

Penance, necessity of, xxvii. 14; of the Saint, xxiv. 2,

Rel. i. 5, Rel. ii. 11, Rel. xi. 2.

Perfection, xxi. 10; true safety lies in, xxxv. 15; not always

attained to because of many years spent in prayer, xxxix. 21.

Persecution, of the Saint, xix. 12, xxxvi. 12; blessings of,

xxxiii. 5.

Perseverance in prayer, viii. 5; fruits of, xi. 6; reward of,

certain, xi. 17; the Saint prays for, xiv. 17; and recommends,

xix. 7.

Peter, St., of Alcantara, xxvii. 4; penitential life of,

xxvii. 17-21, xxx. 2; power of, with God, xxvii. 22; understands

and comforts the Saint, xxx. 5, 7, Rel. vii. 6; quiets a scruple

of the Saint, xxx. 20; approves of the new foundation, xxxii. 16;

and of the observance of poverty in it, xxxv. 6; in Avila when

the Saint came back from Toledo, xxxvi. 1; death of, xxxvi. 1,

note; appears to the Saint, xxxvi. 20, 21; said that women make

greater progress than men, xl. 12.

Phoenix, the, xxxix. 33.

Pilgrims, xxxviii. 8.

Pillar, the, meditations on Christ at, xiii. 19, 31.

Politeness, monasteries courts in, xxxvii. 17.

Poverty, effects of defective, xi. 3; of spirit, xxii. 17; the

Saint's love of, xxxv. 3, Rel. i. 10, Rel. ii. 2.

Prayer, mental, viii. 7; blessings of, viii. 12; joys of, x. 3;

the Saint's four states of, xi. 12; fruit of mental, xi. 20;

vocal, xii. 3; doctrine of, difficult, xiii. 18; importance of

persevering in, xv. 5; must have its foundations in humility,

xxii. 16; of the Saint continued in sleep, xxix. 9; effects of

intercessory, xxxi. 9; two kinds of, xxxix. 8-10; the Saint's

method of, Rel. i. 1.

Preachers, xvi. 12.

Presence of God, the, xviii. 20; practice of the, xii. 3; effects

of, in the prayer of quiet, xiv. 8; different from vision,

xxvii. 6.

Priest, conversion of an evil-living, v. 9, xxxi. 7; vision

concerning a, xxxviii. 29.

Progress made in the way of raptures, xxi. 11.

Prophecies made to the Saint, xxxiv. 23; fulfilled,

Rel. ii. 6, 17.

Provincial, the, of the Carmelites offers to accept the new

foundation, xxxii. 16; then declines it, xxxii. 18; sends the

Saint to Toledo, xxxiv. 2; recalls her, xxxv. 8; reprimands the

Saint, xxxvi. 12; allows the Saint to live in the new monastery,

xxxvi. 23; death of, xxxviii. 34-36.

Purgatory, the Saint saw certain souls who were not sent to,

xxxviii. 41; and delivers others from, xxxix. 6.

Queen of heaven, the, devotion to, xix. 9.

Quiet, the prayer of, iv. 9, ix. 6, xiv. 1, passim; disturbed by

the memory and the understanding, xiv. 5; joy of the soul in,

xiv. 7; few souls pass beyond, xv. 3, 7; great fruits of, xv. 6;

how the soul is to order itself in, xv. 9; difference between the

true and false, xv. 15.

Rank, slavery of, xxxiv. 6.

Rapture, xx. 1; irresistible, xx. 3, xxii. 20; effects of, xx. 9,

30; pain of, xx. 11; loneliness of the soul in, xx. 13;

characteristics of, xx. 23; duration of, xx. 25; physical effects

of, xx. 29, Rel. i. 26, iv. 1; made the Saint long for heaven,

xxxviii. 8; good effects of, Rel. i. 8, 15.

Reading, spiritual, i. 1, iv. 12, 13; persevered in by the Saint,

viii. 14; long unprofitable to her, xii. 10; impossible in the

prayer of perfect union, xviii. 14; a delight, Rel. i. 7.

Recollection, prayer of, xiv. 2, Rel. viii. 3.

Recreation, xiii. 1.

Reflections, making, when dangerous in prayer, xv. 11.

Reform, the Carmelite, beginning of, xxxii. 13.

Religious must despise the world, xxvii. 16.

Resignation of the Saint, xxi. 6, Rel. i. 20.

Revelations, the Saint never spoke of her, when she consulted her

confessors, xxxii. 19.

Rosary, the, of the Saint, xxix. 8.

Rule, the Carmelite, mitigation of, xxxii. 12; restored by the

Saint, xxxvi. 27; observance of, xxxvi. 30, 31.

Salasar, de, Angel. See Provincial.

Salazar, de, Gaspar, Rector of the Society of Jesus in Avila,

xxxiii. 9; understands the state of the Saint, xxxiii. 11; bids

the Saint go to Toledo, xxxiv. 2; vision of the Saint concerning,

xxxviii. 17.

Salcedo, de, Don Francisco, xxiii. 6; gives spiritual advice to

the Saint, xxiii. 11; fears delusions, xxiii. 12; helps the Saint

in her new foundation, xxxii. 21, xxxvi. 21; hospitable,

xxxvi. 1; gives Communion to the Saint when a priest,

Rel. iii. 7.

Samaria, the woman of, xxx. 24.

Satan, subtlety of, iv. 14; an artifice of, vii. 12, 35; suggests

a false humility, xiii. 5; and a carefulness for health, xiii. 9;

afraid of learned directors who are humble, xiii. 26; efforts of,

to deceive, how thwarted, xv. 16; tempted the Saint to give up

prayer, xix. 8; a lie, xxv. 26; unable to counterfeit

intellectual visions, xxvii. 4-8; tries to counterfeit imaginary

visions, xxviii. 15; appears to the Saint, xxxi. 2; dislikes

contempt, xxxi. 10; wiles of, Rel. i. 29.

Scandal, xxvii. 16.

Scorn, signs of, not to be made during visions, xxix. 6.

Self, contempt of, necessary in the spiritual life, xxxi. 23.

Self-denial, necessity of, xxxi. 25.

Self-knowledge, xiii. 23.

Self-love, xi. 2; strong and hurtful, xi. 4, 5.

Self-respect, harm of, xxi. 12.

Senses, the, suspension of, in the prayer of perfect union,

xviii. 19.

Sensitiveness, xi. 4.

Sermons, viii. 17; without simplicity, xvi. 12.

Shame, good fruits of, v. 9.

Sicknesses of the Saint, xxx. 9.

Sickness sent for penance, xxiv. 2.

Sight restored at the prayer of the Saint, xxxix. 1.

Sincerity of the Saint, Rel. i. 28.

Sin, occasions of, viii. 14; pain occasioned by the sins of

others, xiii. 14; original, xxx. 20; the Saint, by her prayers,

hinders a great, xxxix. 3; wickedness of, xl. 15; vision of a

soul in, Rel. iii. 13.

Sins, the Saint consents to the divulging of her, x. 10.

Solitude, longings for, i. 6, vi. 5, Rel. i. 6.

Sorcery, v. 10.

Soto, de, the Inquisitor, Rel. vii. 8.

Soul, our own, the first object, xiii. 13, 14; likened to a

garden, xi. 10, xiv. 13; in the prayer of quiet, xv. 1; growth

of, xv. 20; powers of, in the prayer of imperfect union, xvi. 1,

4; beside itself, xvi. 1-5; crucifixion of, in raptures, xx. 14;

detachment of the enraptured, xx. 33; strengthened in raptures,

xxi. 14; effects of visions in, xxvii. 11; helplessness of,

without God, xxxvii. 11; vision of a lost soul, xxxviii. 31; the

Saint's vision of her own, xl. 8; and of, in a state of grace,

Rel. iii. 13, Rel. v. 6.

Spirit, liberty of, xi. 25; poverty of, xxii. 17; flight of the,

xviii. 8, Rel. viii. 11.

Spirits, evil, put to flight, xxv. 25; by holy water, xxxi. 4.

Spirituality influenced by bodily health, xi. 24.

Suarez, Juana, iii. 2; accompanies the Saint to Bezadas, iv. 6.

Sufferings, physical, of the Saint, iv. 7, v. 4, 14, vi. 1; of

raptures, xx. 16; the Saint longs for, xl. 27.

Sweetness, spiritual, never sought by the Saint but once, ix. 11;

seekers of, censured, xi. 21; of the pain of raptures, xx. 19;

the Saint unable to resist it at times, xxiv. 1.

Tears, gift of, iv. 8, xxix. 11; of the Saint before a picture of

the Passion, ix. 1; in the prayer of quiet, xiv. 5; in the prayer

of perfect union, xix. 1, 2; the Saint prays God to accept her,

xix. 10.

Temptation, power of, xxx. 13.

Tenderness of soul, x. 2.

Teresa, St., desires martyrdom, i. 4; placed in a monastery,

ii. 8; unwilling to become a nun, ii. 10; becomes more fervent,

iii. 2; is resolved to follow her vocation, iii. 6; first

fervours of, iv. 2; failure of health, iv. 6; God sends her an

illness, v. 4; suffers grievously, vi. 1; afraid of prayer,

vi. 5; leads her father to prayer, vii. 16; present at her

father's death, vii. 22; perseveres in prayer, viii. 2; found it

hard to pray, viii. 10; delights in sermons, viii. 17; devout to

the Magdalene, ix. 2; never doubted of God's mercy, ix. 8;

depreciates herself, x. 9; willing to have her sins divulged,

x. 10; always sought for light, x. 13; complains of her memory,

xi. 9; unable to explain the state of her soul, xii. 10;

supernaturally enlightened, xii. 11; reads books on prayer to no

purpose, xiv. 10; writes with many hindrances, xiv. 12, xl. 32;

bewails her ingratitude, xiv. 16; scarcely understood a word of

Latin, xv. 12; understands her state in the prayer of imperfect

union, xvi. 3; and describes it, xvi. 6; bewails her

unworthiness, xviii. 6; writes under obedience, xviii. 10;

confesses ignorance, xviii. 20; abandons her prayers for a time,

xix. 8; evil spoken of, xix. 12; misled by false humility,

xix. 23; prays to be delivered from raptures, xx. 5, 6; never

cared for money, xx. 34; gives up her whole being to God, xxi. 7;

unable to learn from books, xxii. 3; afraid of delusions,

xxiii. 3; is directed by a layman, xxiii. 10; severe to herself,

xxiv. 2; her first ecstasy, xxiv. 7; had no visions before the

prayer of union, xxv. 14; told by her confessor that she was

deluded by Satan, xxv. 18; prays to be led by a different

spiritual way, xxv. 20, xxvii. 3, Rel. vii. 7; not afraid of

Satan, xxv. 27; spoken against, xxvi. 3; troubles of, because of

visions, xxvii. 4, xxviii. 6; her defence when told that her

visions were false, xxviii. 18, 19; afraid nobody would hear her

confession, xxviii. 20; harshly judged by her directors,

xxviii. 23; would not exchange her visions for all the pleasures

of the world, xxix. 5; vehemence of her love, xxix. 10; her

supernatural wound, xxix. 17; manifests her spiritual state to

St. Peter of Alcantara, xxx. 4; bodily trials of, xxx. 17; finds

no relief in exterior occupations, xxx. 18; buffeted by Satan,

xxxi. 3; converts a great sinner, xxxi. 7; troubled because well

thought of, xxxi. 13-17; her singing of the Office, xxxi. 26;

commanded to labour for the reform of her Order, xxxii. 14;

commanded to abandon her purpose, xxxiii. 1; her vision in the

Dominican church, Avila, xxxiii. 16; goes to Toledo, xxxiv. 3;

the nuns wish to have her as their Prioress, xxxv. 8; restores a

child to life, xxxv. 14, note; begins the Reform, xxxvi. 4; her

grievous trial, xxxvi. 6, 7; her health improved, xxxvi. 9; would

suffer all things for one additional degree of glory, xxxvii. 3;

her affection for her confessors, xxxvii. 6; supernaturally

helped when writing, xxxviii. 28; obtains sight for a blind

person, xxxix. 1; and the cure of one of her kindred, xxxix. 2;

her spiritual state became known without her consent, xl. 28;

submits all her writings to the Roman Church, Rel. vii. 16.

Theology, mystical, x. 1, xi. 8, xii. 8; the Saint says she does

not know the terms of, xviii. 4.

Thomas, St., assisted at the deathbed of Fra P. Ibañez,

xxxviii. 15.

Throne, vision of a, xxxix. 31, 32.

Trance, a, xviii. 17, xx. 1; outward effects of, xl. 11; gradual,

Rel. viii. 10.

Transport, Rel. viii. 10.

Trials followed by graces, xi. 18; promised to the Saint,

xxxv. 9; shown her in a vision, xxxix. 25.

Trinity, the, mystery of, revealed to the Saint, xxxix. 36;

visions of, Rel. iii. 6, Rel. v. 6-8, Rel. viii. 20, Rel. ix. 12.

Truth, divine, xl. 3-7.

Ulloa, de, Doña Guiomar, xxiv. 5; takes the Saint to her house,

xxx. 3; helps the Saint to accomplish the reform, xxxii. 13; is

refused absolution, xxxii. 18.

Understanding, the, use of in prayer, xiii. 17; disorderly,

xv. 10; powerless in the state of imperfect union, xvi. 4; and of

the perfect union, xviii. 19; the Saint speaks humbly of her,

xxviii. 10.

Union, imperfect, prayer of, xvi. 1; a mystical death, ib.; the

soul resigned therein, xvii. 1; how it differs from the prayer of

quiet, xvii. 5, 6; another degree of, xvii. 7; the labour of the

soul lessens in the later states of, xviii. 1.

Union, perfect, prayer of, xviii. 1; the senses wholly absorbed

in, xviii. 3, 14; duration of, xviii. 16; fruits of, xix. 4.

Union, prayer of, iv. 9; followed by visions in the Saint,

xxv. 14.

Union, what it is, Rel. v. 2; of the faculties of the soul,

Rel. viii. 7.

Vainglory, vii. 2, 34, x. 5, Rel. i. 18, Rel. ii. 15,

Rel. vii. 23.

Vanity of possessions, xx. 35; the Saint's watchfulness over

herself herein, xxxix. 11.

Virtue, growth of, in the prayer of quiet, xiv. 6; and in that of

imperfect union, xvii. 4.

Visions, our Lord seen in, vii. 11, xxv. 14, xxvii. 3, xxviii. 2;

intellectual, xxvii. 4; different from the sense of the presence

of God, xxvii. 6; joy of, xxvii. 13; imaginary, xxviii. 5;

effects of, in the soul, xxviii. 13; Satan tried to simulate,

xxviii. 15; effects of, in the Saint, xxviii. 19; cessation of

the Saint's imaginary, xxix. 2; of the Sacred Humanity, effects

of, xxxviii. 23.

Water, holy, puts evil spirits to flight, xxxi. 4, 5, 9, 10.

Water, the first, xi. 13; the second, xiv. 1; the third, xvi. 1;

the fourth, xviii. 1.

Will, the state of, in the prayer of quiet, xiv. 4, xv. 2, 10; in

the prayer of imperfect union, xviii. 16.

Women, great care necessary in the direction of, xxiii. 14, 15;

make greater progress than men, xl. 12.

World, the, contempt of, x. 7, xxvii. 16; customs of, wearisome,

xxxvii. 15, 16; hard on good people, xxxi. 19; vanity of,

Rel. i. 21.

Wound of the soul, Rel. viii. 16; of love, Rel. viii. 17.

Ybañez. See Ibañez.

Yepes, Rel. ix. 1.

Zeal, indiscreet, xiii. 11.

End of Project Gutenberg's The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus, by Teresa of Avila