LEAVING HOME THE JOURNEY.
One of the first trying experiences a missionary has to endure is
that of tearing himself away from his family. The expression "tearing
himself away" is not describing too strongly the painful feelings of
such an ordeal, for to many this is no trifling experience: it is like
tearing one's heartstrings to undergo it, and he feels almost as though
he were purposelessly inflicting most cruel torture upon his loved
ones regardless of their appeals for mercy. But feeling that it is a
call from the Lord that prompts him to do this, he is strengthened to
endure the severe but fortunately short trial. One can perhaps imagine
to some extent how painful was such a parting as the one described by
the late President Heber C. Kimball. It occurred about the same time
as the incident related in the previous chapter in the experience of
President John Taylor when called to fill a mission to England. Apostle
Kimball was called to the same mission. It was but a short time after
the Saints first settled in Nauvoo, Illinois, and they were poor and
destitute, and owing to exposure and an unhealthy place of refuge these
missionaries and their families were in poor health. Elder Kimball
depicts his leave-taking as follows:
"During the night of August 23rd, 1839, my son, David Patten, was born
in Commerce, in the log cabin I had put up at the end of the Bozier
house. We had a heavy thunderstorm that night, but the hand of the Lord
was over us. As soon as my wife was able I moved my family into the new
log house that I had built.
"September 14th, President Brigham Young left his home at Montrose to
start on the mission to England. He was so sick that he was unable to
go to the Mississippi, a distance of thirty rods, without assistance.
After he had crossed the river he rode behind Israel Barlow on his
horse to my house, where he continued sick until the 18th. He left his
wife sick with a babe only three weeks old, and all his other children
were sick and unable to wait upon each other. Not one soul of them was
able to go to the well for a pail of water, and they were without a
second suit to their backs, for the mob in Missouri had taken nearly
all he had. On the 17th Sister Mary Ann Young got a boy to carry her
up in his wagon to my house, that she might nurse and comfort Brother
Brigham to the hour of starting.
"September 18th, Charles Hubbard sent his boy with a wagon and span
of horses to my house; our trunks were put into the wagon by some
brethren; I went to my bed and shook hands with my wife who was then
shaking with a chill, having two children lying sick by her side; I
embraced her and my children, and bade them farewell. My only well
child was little Heber P., and it was with difficulty he could carry
a couple of quarts of water at a time, to assist in quenching their
thirst.
"It was with difficulty we got into the wagon, and started down the
hill about ten rods; it appeared to me as though my very inmost parts
would melt within me at leaving my family in such a condition, as it
were almost in the arms of death. I felt as though I could not endure
it. I asked the teamster to stop, and said to Brother Brigham, 'This
is pretty tough, isn't it; let's rise up and give them a cheer.' We
arose, and swinging our hats three times over our heads, shouted:
'Hurrah, hurrah for Israel.' Vilate, hearing the noise, arose from her
bed and came to the door. She had a smile on her face. Vilate and Mary
Ann Young cried out to us: 'Good by, God bless you.' We returned the
compliment, and then told the driver to go ahead. After this I felt a
spirit of joy and gratitude, having had the satisfaction of seeing my
wife standing upon her feet, instead of leaving her in bed, knowing
well that I should not see them again for two or three years."
Usually missionaries go to their fields of labor in small companies,
and after the acute pangs of parting with loved ones are somewhat
assuaged they enjoy their travels. The new scenes constantly coming
within view help to divert their minds from the thoughts of home.
If they have a long distance to travel to reach their destination,
and especially when they have to cross the ocean, they find time to
seriously consider the nature of the duty before them. Then they begin,
if they have not done so before, to realize the necessity of depending
upon the Lord for guidance and aid.
If they have to cross the great deep and should they become sea-sick
they are liable to feel that their troubles are increasing in number
and severity; but if their sea-sickness is of an extreme type it
banishes all other troubles. They have no hope nor fear of the future
and the past is entirely forgotten. All they can think of is the awful
present. The more severe their sickness the sooner it is ended, and
their recovery is so rapid that it causes astonishment, and they wonder
how it was possible for them to feel so ill through such a trifling
cause. In a few days nothing is left of the dreadful sensation but a
recollection as of an unpleasant dream.