SCENE I.--_The Fair, as before._
A Booth.
_LANTHORN LEATHERHEAD, dressed as a puppet-show man, FILCHER, and
SHARKWELL with a flag._
LEATH. Well, luck and Saint Bartholomew! out with the sign of our
invention, in the name of wit, and do you beat the drum the while: all
the foul i' the Fair, I mean all the dirt in Smithfield,--that's one
of master Littlewit's carwhitchets now--will be thrown at our banner
to-day, if the matter does not please the people. O the motions that I
Lanthorn Leatherhead have given light to, in my time, since my master
Pod died! Jerusalem was a stately thing, and so was Nineveh, and the
city of Norwich, and Sodom and Gomorrah, with the rising of the
prentices, and pulling down the bawdy-houses there upon
Shrove-Tuesday; but the Gun-powder plot, there was a get-penny! I have
presented that to an eighteen or twenty pence audience, nine times in
an afternoon. Your home-born projects prove ever the best, they are so
easy and familiar; they put too much learning in their things now o'
days: and that I fear will be the spoil of this. Littlewit! I say,
Micklewit! if not too mickle! look to your gathering there, goodman
Filcher.
FILCH. I warrant you, sir.
LEATH. An there come any gentlefolks, take two-pence apiece,
Sharkwell.
SHARK. I warrant you, sir, three-pence an we can.
[_Exeunt._
SCENE II.--_Another part of the Fair._
_Enter OVERDO, disguised like a Porter._
OVER. This latter disguise, I have borrow'd of a porter, shall carry
me out to all my great and good ends; which however interrupted, were
never destroyed in me: neither is the hour of my severity yet come to
reveal myself, wherein, cloud-like, I will break out in rain and hail,
lightning and thunder, upon the head of enormity. Two main works I
have to prosecute: first, one is to invent some satisfaction for the
poor kind wretch, who is out of his wits for my sake, and yonder I see
him coming, I will walk aside, and project for it.
_Enter WINWIFE and GRACE._
WINW. I wonder where Tom Quarlous is, that he returns not: it may be
he is struck in here to seek us.
GRACE. See, here's our madman again.
_Enter QUARLOUS, in TROUBLEALL'S clothes, followed by DAME PURECRAFT._
QUAR. I have made myself as like him, as his gown and cap will give me
leave.
PURE. Sir, I love you, and would be glad to be mad with you in truth.
WINW. How! my widow in love with a madman?
PURE. Verily, I can be as mad in spirit as you.
QUAR. By whose warrant? leave your canting. Gentlewoman, have I found
you? [_To mistress Grace._] save ye, quit ye, and multiply ye! Where's
your book? 'twas a sufficient name I mark'd, let me see't, be not
afraid to shew't me.
GRACE. What would you with it, sir?
QUAR. Mark it again and again at your service.
GRACE. Here it is, sir, this was it you mark'd.
QUAR. _Palemon!_ fare you well, fare you well.
WINW. How, Palemon!
GRACE. Yes, faith, he has discovered it to you now, and therefore
'twere vain to disguise it longer; I am yours, sir, by the benefit of
your fortune.
WINW. And you have him, mistress, believe it, that shall never give
you cause to repent her benefit: but make you rather to think that in
this choice she had both her eyes.
GRACE. I desire to put it to no danger of protestation.
[_Exeunt Grace and Winwife._
QUAR. Palemon the word, and Winwife the man!
PURE. Good sir, vouchsafe a yoke-fellow in your madness, shun not one
of the sanctified sisters, that would draw with you in truth.
QUAR. Away, you are a herd of hypocritical proud ignorants, rather
wild than mad; fitter for woods, and the society of beasts, than
houses, and the congregation of men. You are the second part of the
society of canters, outlaws to order and discipline, and the only
privileged church-robbers of Christendom. Let me alone: _Palemon_ the
word, and Winwife the man!
PURE. I must uncover myself unto him, or I shall never enjoy him, for
all the cunning men's promises. [_Aside._] Good sir, hear me, I am
worth six thousand pound, my love to you is become my rack; I'll tell
you all and the truth, since you hate the hypocrisy of the
party-coloured brotherhood. These seven years I have been a wilful
holy widow, only to draw feasts and gifts from my entangled suitors: I
am also by office an assisting sister of the deacons, and a devourer,
instead of a distributor of the alms. I am a special maker of
marriages for our decayed brethren with our rich widows, for a third
part of their wealth, when they are married, for the relief of the
poor elect: as also our poor handsome young virgins, with our wealthy
bachelors or widowers; to make them steal from their husbands, when I
have confirmed them in the faith, and got all put into their
custodies. And if I have not my bargain, they may sooner turn a
scolding drab into a silent minister, than make me leave pronouncing
reprobation and damnation unto them. Our elder, Zeal-of-the-land,
would have had me, but I know him to be the capital knave of the land,
making himself rich, by being made a feoffee in trust to deceased
brethren, and cozening their heirs, by swearing the absolute gift of
their inheritance. And thus having eased my conscience, and utter'd my
heart with the tongue of my love; enjoy all my deceits together, I
beseech you. I should not have revealed this to you, but that in time
I think you are mad, and I hope you'll think me so too, sir?
QUAR. Stand aside, I'll answer you presently. [_He walks by._] Why
should I not marry this six thousand pound, now I think on't, and a
good trade too that she has beside, ha? The t'other wench Winwife is
sure of; there's no expectation for me there. Here I may make myself
some saver yet, if she continue mad, there's the question. It is money
that I want, why should not I marry the money when 'tis offer'd me? I
have a license and all, it is but razing out one name, and putting in
another. There's no playing with a man's fortune! I am resolved: I
were truly mad an I would not!--Well, come your ways, follow me, an
you will be mad, I'll shew you a warrant!
[_Takes her along with him._
PURE. Most zealously, it is that I zealously desire.
OVER. [_stopping him._] Sir, let me speak with you.
QUAR. By whose warrant?
OVER. The warrant that you tender, and respect so; Justice Overdo's. I
am the man, friend Troubleall, though thus disguised (as the careful
magistrate ought) for the good of the republic in the Fair, and the
weeding out of enormity. Do you want a house, or meat, or drink, or
clothes? speak whatsoever it is, it shall be supplied you; what want
you?
QUAR. Nothing but your warrant.
OVER. My warrant! for what?
QUAR. To be gone, sir.
OVER. Nay, I pray thee stay; I am serious, and have not many words,
nor much time to exchange with thee. Think what may do thee good.
QUAR. Your hand and seal will do me a great deal of good; nothing else
in the whole Fair that I know.
OVER. If it were to any end, thou shouldst have it willingly.
QUAR. Why, it will satisfy me, that's end enough to look on; an you
will not give it me, let me go.
OVER. Alas! thou shalt have it presently; I'll but step into the
scrivener's here by, and bring it. Do not go away.
[_Exit._
QUAR. Why, this madman's shape will prove a very fortunate one, I
think. Can a ragged robe produce these effects? if this be the wise
justice, and he bring me his hand, I shall go near to make some use
on't.
_Re-enter OVERDO._
He is come already!
OVER. Look thee! here is my hand and seal, Adam Overdo; if there be
any thing to be written above in that paper that thou want'st now, or
at any time hereafter, think on't, it is my deed. I deliver it so; can
your friend write?
QUAR. Her hand for a witness, and all is well.
OVER. With all my heart.
[_He urges her to sign it._
QUAR. Why should not I have the conscience to make this a bond of a
thousand pound now, or what I would else? [_Aside._
OVER. Look you, there it is, and I deliver it as my deed again.
QUAR. Let us now proceed in madness.
[_Exeunt Quarlous and Dame Purecraft._
OVER. Well, my conscience is much eased; I have done my part, though
it doth him no good; yet Adam hath offered satisfaction. The sting is
removed from hence! Poor man, he is much altered with his affliction,
it has brought him low. Now for my other work, reducing the young man,
I have followed so long in love, from the brink of his bane to the
centre of safety. Here, or in some such-like vain place, I shall be
sure to find him. I will wait the good time.
[_Exit._
SCENE III.--_Another part of the Fair._
The Puppet-show Booth, as before.
_Enter SHARKWELL and FILCHER, with bills, and COKES in his doublet and
hose, followed by the Boys of the Fair._
COKES. How now! what's here to do, friend? art thou the master of the
monuments?
SHARK. 'Tis a motion, an't please your worship.
_Enter OVERDO behind._
OVER. My fantastical brother-in-law, master Bartholomew Cokes!
COKES. A motion! what's that! [_Reads._] _The ancient modern history
of Hero and Leander, otherwise called the Touchstone of true Love,
with as true a trial of friendship between Damon and Pythias, two
faithful friends o' the Bank-side._--Pretty, i'faith, what's the
meaning on't? is't an interlude, or what is't?
FILCH. Yes, sir, please you come near, we'll take your money within.
COKES. Back with these children; they do so follow me up and down!
_Enter LITTLEWIT._
LIT. By your leave, friend.
FILCH. You must pay, sir, an you go in.
LIT. Who, I! I perceive thou know'st not me; call the master of the
motion.
SHARK. What, do you not know the author, fellow Filcher? You must take
no money of him; he must come in gratis: master Littlewit is a
voluntary; he is the author.
LIT. Peace, speak not too loud, I would not have any notice taken that
I am the author, till we see how it passes.
COKES. Master Littlewit, how dost thou?
LIT. Master Cokes! you are exceeding well met: what, in your doublet
and hose, without a cloke or a hat?
COKES. I would I might never stir, as I am an honest man, and by that
fire; I have lost all in the Fair, and all my acquaintance too; didst
thou meet any body that I know, master Littlewit? my man Numps, or my
sister Overdo, or mistress Grace? Pray thee, master Littlewit, lend me
some money to see the interlude here; I'll pay thee again, as I am a
gentleman. If thou'lt but carry me home, I have money enough there.
LIT. O, sir, you shall command it; what, will a crown serve you?
COKES. I think it will; what do we pay for coming in, fellows?
FILCH. Two-pence, sir.
COKES. Two-pence! there's twelve-pence, friend: nay, I am a gallant,
as simple as I look now; if you see me with my man about me, and my
artillery again.
LIT. Your man was in the stocks e'en now, sir.
COKES. Who, Numps?
LIT. Yes, faith.
COKES. For what, i'faith? I am glad o' that; remember to tell me on't
anon; I have enough now. What manner of matter is this, master
Littlewit? what kind of actors have you? are they good actors?
LIT. Pretty youths, sir, all children both old and young; here's the
master of 'em--
_Enter LEATHERHEAD._
LEATH. [_aside to Littlewit._] Call me not Leatherhead, but Lantern.
LIT. Master Lantern, that gives light to the business.
COKES. In good time, sir! I would fain see them, I would be glad to
drink with the young company; which is the tiring-house?
LEATH. Troth, sir, our tiring-house is somewhat little; we are but
beginners yet, pray pardon us; you cannot go upright in't.
COKES. No! not now my hat is off? what would you have done with me, if
you had had me feather and all, as I was once to-day? Have you none of
your pretty impudent boys now, to bring stools, fill tobacco, fetch
ale, and beg money, as they have at other houses? Let me see some of
your actors.
LIT. Shew him them, shew him them. Master Lantern, this is a gentleman
that is a favourer of the quality.
[_Exit Leatherhead._
OVER. Ay, the favouring of this licentious quality is the consumption
of many a young gentleman; a pernicious enormity. [_Aside._
_Re-enter LEATHERHEAD, with a basket._
COKES. What! do they live in baskets?
LEATH. They do lie in a basket, sir, they are o' the small players.
COKES. These be players minors indeed. Do you call these players?
LEATH. They are actors, sir, and as good as any, none dispraised, for
dumb shows: indeed, I am the mouth of them all.
COKES. Thy mouth will hold them all. I think one tailor would go near
to beat all this company with a hand bound behind him.
LIT. Ay, and eat them all too, an they were in cake-bread.
COKES. I thank you for that, master Littlewit; a good jest! Which is
your Burbage now?
LEATH. What mean you by that, sir?
COKES. Your best actor, your Field?
LIT. Good, i'faith! you are even with me, sir.
LEATH. This is he, that acts young Leander, sir: he is extremely
beloved of the womenkind, they do so affect his action, the green
gamesters, that come here! and this is lovely Hero: this with the
beard, Damon; and this pretty Pythias: this is the ghost of king
Dionysius in the habit of a scrivener; as you shall see anon at large.
COKES. Well, they are a civil company, I like 'em for that; they offer
not to fleer, nor jeer, nor break jests, as the great players do: and
then, there goes not so much charge to the feasting of them, or making
them drunk, as to the other, by reason of their littleness. Do they
use to play perfect? are they never fluster'd?
LEATH. No, sir, I thank my industry and policy for it; they are as
well govern'd a company, though I say it----And here is young Leander,
is as proper an actor of his inches, and shakes his head like an
hostler.
COKES. But do you play it according to the printed book? I have read
that.
LEATH. By no means, sir.
COKES. No! how then?
LEATH. A better way, sir; that is too learned and poetical for our
audience: what do they know what _Hellespont_ is, _guilty of true
love's blood?_ or what _Abydos_ is? or _the other, Sestos hight?_
COKES. Thou art in the right; I do not know myself.
LEATH. No, I have entreated master Littlewit to take a little pains to
reduce it to a more familiar strain for our people.
COKES. How, I pray thee, good master Littlewit?
LIT. It pleases him to make a matter of it, sir; but there is no such
matter, I assure you: I have only made it a little easy, and modern
for the times, sir, that's all. As for the Hellespont, I imagine our
Thames here; and then Leander I make a dyer's son about Puddle-wharf:
and Hero a wench o' the Bank-side, who going over one morning to Old
Fish-street, Leander spies her land at Trig-stairs, and falls in love
with her. Now do I introduce Cupid, having metamorphosed himself into
a drawer, and he strikes Hero in love with a pint of sherry; and other
pretty passages there are of the friendship, that will delight you,
sir, and please you of judgment.
COKES. I'll be sworn they shall: I am in love with the actors already,
and I'll be allied to them presently.--They respect gentlemen, these
fellows:--Hero shall be my fairing: but which of my fairings?--let me
see--i'faith, my fiddle; and Leander my fiddlestick: then Damon my
drum, and Pythias my pipe, and the ghost of Dionysius my hobby-horse.
All fitted.
_Enter WINWIFE and GRACE._
WINW. Look, yonder's your Cokes gotten in among his play-fellows; I
thought we could not miss him at such a spectacle.
GRACE. Let him alone, he is so busy he will never spy us.
LEATH. Nay, good sir! [_To Cokes, who is handling the puppets._
COKES. I warrant thee I will not hurt her, fellow; what, dost thou
think me uncivil? I pray thee be not jealous; I am toward a wife.
LIT. Well, good master Lantern, make ready to begin that I may fetch
my wife; and look you be perfect, you undo me else, in my reputation.
LEATH. I warrant you, sir, do not you breed too great an expectation
of it among your friends; that's the hurter of these things.
LIT. No, no, no.
[_Exit._
COKES. I'll stay here and see: pray thee let me see.
WINW. How diligent and troublesome he is!
GRACE. The place becomes him, methinks.
OVER. My ward, mistress Grace, in the company of a stranger! I doubt I
shall be compell'd to discover myself before my time. [_Aside._
_Enter KNOCKEM, EDGWORTH, and MRS. LITTLEWIT, followed by WHIT
supporting MRS. OVERDO, masked._
FILCH. Two-pence apiece, gentlemen, an excellent motion.
KNOCK. Shall we have fine fire-works, and good vapours?
SHARK. Yes, captain, and water-works too.
WHIT. I pree dee take care o' dy shmall lady there, Edgworth; I will
look to dish tall lady myself.
LEATH. Welcome, gentlemen, welcome, gentlemen.
WHIT. Predee mashter o' the monshtersh, help a very sick lady here to
a chair to shit in.
LEATH. Presently, sir.
[_A chair is brought in for Mrs. Overdo._
WHIT. Good fait now, Ursula's ale and acqua-vitæ ish to blame for't;
shit down, shweet-heart, shit down and sleep a little.
EDG. [_to Mrs. Littlewit._] Madam, you are very welcome hither.
KNOCK. Yes, and you shall see very good vapours.
OVER. Here is my care come! I like to see him in so good company: and
yet I wonder that persons of such fashion should resort hither.
[_Aside._
EDG. There is a very private house, madam.
LEATH. Will it please your ladyship sit, madam?
MRS. LIT. Yes, goodman. They do so all-to-be-madam me, I think they
think me a very lady.
EDG. What else, madam?
MRS. LIT. Must I put off my mask to him?
EDG. O, by no means.
MRS. LIT. How should my husband know me then?
KNOCK. Husband! an idle vapour; he must not know you, nor you him:
there's the true vapour.
OVER. Yea! I will observe more of this. [_Aside._] Is this a lady,
friend?
WHIT. Ay, and dat is anoder lady, shweet-heart; if dou hasht a mind to
'em, give me twelve-pence from tee, and dou shalt have eder oder on
'em.
OVER. Ay, this will prove my chiefest enormity: I will follow this.
[_Aside._
EDG. Is not this a finer life, lady, than to be clogg'd with a
husband?
MRS. LIT. Yes, a great deal. When will they begin, trow, in the name
o' the motion?
EDG. By and by, madam; they stay but for company.
KNOCK. Do you hear, puppet-master, these are tedious vapours, when
begin you?
LEATH. We stay but for master Littlewit, the author, who is gone for
his wife: and we begin presently.
MRS. LIT. That's I, that's I.
EDG. That was you, lady; but now you are no such poor thing.
KNOCK. Hang the author's wife, a running vapour! here be ladies will
stay for ne'er a Delia of them all.
WHIT. But hear me now, here ish one o' de ladish ashleep, stay till
shee but vake, man.
_Enter WASPE._
WASPE. How now, friends! what's here to do?
FILCH. Two-pence apiece, sir, the best motion in the Fair.
WASPE. I believe you lie; if you do, I'll have my money again, and
beat you.
MRS. LIT. Numps is come!
WASPE. Did you see a master of mine come in here, a tall young 'squire
of Harrow o' the Hill, master Bartholomew Cokes?
FILCH. I think there be such a one within.
WASPE. Look he be, you were best: but it is very likely: I wonder I
found him not at all the rest. I have been at the Eagle, and the Black
Wolf, and the Bull with the five legs and two pizzles:--he was a calf
at Uxbridge fair two years agone--and at the dogs that dance the
morrice, and the hare of the Tabor; and mist him at all these! Sure
this must needs be some fine sight that holds him so, if it have him.
COKES. Come, come, are you ready now?
LEATH. Presently, sir.
WASPE. Hoyday, he's at work in his doublet and hose! do you hear, sir,
are you employ'd, that you are bare-headed and so busy?
COKES. Hold your peace, Numps; you have been in the stocks, I hear.
WASPE. Does he know that! nay, then the date of my authority is out; I
must think no longer to reign, my government is at an end. He that
will correct another must want fault in himself.
WINW. Sententious Numps! I never heard so much from him before.
LEATH. Sure master Littlewit will not come; please you take your
place, sir; we'll begin.
COKES. I pray thee do, mine ears long to be at it, and my eyes too. O
Numps, in the stocks, Numps! where's your sword, Numps!
WASPE. I pray you intend your game, sir, let me alone.
COKES. Well then, we are quit for all. Come, sit down, Numps; I'll
interpret to thee: did you see mistress Grace? It's no matter,
neither, now I think on't, tell me anon.
WINW. A great deal of love and care he expresses!
GRACE. Alas, would you have him to express more than he has? that were
tyranny.
COKES. Peace, ho! now, now.
LEATH. _Gentles, that no longer your expectations may wander,
Behold our chief actor, amorous Leander.
With a great deal of cloth, lapp'd about him like a scarf,
For he yet serves his father, a dyer at Puddle-wharf;
Which place we'll make bold with, to call it our Abydus,
As the Bank-side is our Sestos; and let it not be deny'd us.
Now as he is beating to make the dye take the fuller,
Who chances to come by, but fair Hero in a sculler;
And seeing Leander's naked leg and goodly calf,
Cast at him from the boat a sheep's eye and an half.
Now she is landed, and the sculler come back,
By and by you shall see what Leander doth lack._
PUP. LEAN. _Cole, Cole, old Cole!_
LEATH. _That is the sculler's name without controul._
PUP. LEAN. _Cole, Cole, I say, Cole!_
LEATH. _We do hear you._
PUP. LEAN. _Old Cole._
LEATH. _Old Cole! is the dyer turn'd collier? how do you sell?_
PUP. LEAN. _A pox o' your manners, kiss my hole here, and smell._
LEATH. _Kiss your hole and smell! there's manners indeed._
PUP. LEAN. _Why, Cole, I say, Cole!_
LEATH. _Is't the sculler you need?_
PUP. LEAN. _Ay, and be hanged._
LEATH. _Be hang'd! look you yonder.
Old Cole, you must go hang with master Leander._
PUP. COLE. _Where is he?_
PUP. LEAN. _Here, Cole: what fairest of fairs,
Was that fare that thou landedst but now at Trig-stairs?_
COKES. What was that, fellow? pray thee tell me, I scarce understand
them.
LEATH. _Leander does ask, sir, what fairest of fairs,
Was the fare he landed but now at Trig-stairs?_
PUP. COLE. _It is lovely Hero._
PUP. LEAN. _Nero?_
PUP. COLE. _No, Hero._
LEATH. _It is Hero
Of the Bank-side, he saith, to tell you truth without erring,
Is come over into Fish-street to eat some fresh herring.
Leander says no more, but as fast as he can,
Gets on all his best clothes, and will after to the Swan._
COKES. Most admirable good, is't not?
LEATH. _Stay, sculler._
PUP. COLE. _What say you?_
LEATH. _You must stay for Leander,
And carry him to the wench._
PUP. COLE. _You rogue, I am no pander._
COKES. He says he is no pander. 'Tis a fine language: I understand it
now.
LEATH. _Are you no pander, goodman Cole? here's no man says you are;
You'll grow a hot cole, it seems; pray you stay for your fare._
PUP. COLE. _Will he come away?_
LEATH. _What do you say?_
PUP. COLE. _I'd have him come away._
LEATH. _Would you have Leander come away? why, pray, sir, stay.
You are angry, goodman Cole; I believe the fair maid
Came over with you a' trust: tell us, sculler, are you paid?_
PUP. COLE. _Yes, goodman Hogrubber of Pickthatch._
LEATH. _How, Hogrubber of Pickthatch?_
PUP. COLE. _Ay, Hogrubber of Pickthatch. Take you that._
[Strikes him over the pate.
LEATH. _O, my head!_
PUP. COLE. _Harm watch, harm catch!_
COKES. _Harm watch, harm catch_, he says; very good, i'faith: the
sculler had like to have knock'd you, sirrah.
LEATH. Yes, but that his fare call'd him away.
PUP. LEAN. _Row apace, row apace, row, row, row, row, row._
LEATH. _You are knavishly loaden, sculler, take heed where you go._
PUP. COLE. _Knave in your face, goodman rogue._
PUP. LEAN. _Row, row, row, row, row._
COKES. He said, knave in your face, friend.
LEATH. Ay, sir, I heard him; but there's no talking to these watermen,
they will have the last word.
COKES. Od's my life! I am not allied to the sculler yet; he shall be
_Dauphin my boy._ But my fiddle-stick does fiddle in and out too much:
I pray thee speak to him on't; tell him I would have him tarry in my
sight more.
LEATH. I pray you be content; you'll have enough on him, sir.
_Now, gentles, I take it, here is none of you so stupid,
But that you have heard of a little god of love call'd Cupid;
Who out of kindness to Leander, hearing he but saw her,
This present day and hour doth turn himself to a drawer.
And because he would have their first meeting to be merry,
He strikes Hero in love to him with a pint of sherry;
Which he tells her from amorous Leander is sent her,
Who after him into the room of Hero doth venture._
[Puppet Leander goes into Mistress Hero's room.
PUP. JONAS. _A pint of sack, score a pint of sack in the Coney._
COKES. Sack! you said but e'en now it should be sherry.
PUP. JONAS. _Why, so it is; sherry, sherry, sherry._
COKES. _Sherry, sherry, sherry!_ By my troth he makes me merry. I must
have a name for Cupid too. Let me see, thou might'st help me, now, an
thou would'st, Numps, at a dead lift: but thou art dreaming of the
stocks still.--Do not think on't, I have forgot it; 'tis but a nine
days' wonder, man; let it not trouble thee.
WASPE. I would the stocks were about your neck, sir; condition I hung
by the heels in them till the wonder were off from you, with all my
heart.
COKES. Well said, resolute Numps! but hark you, friend, where's the
friendship all this while between my drum Damon, and my pipe Pythias?
LEATH. You shall see by and by, sir.
COKES. You think my hobby-horse is forgotten too; no, I'll see them
all enact before I go; I shall not know which to love best else.
KNOCK. This gallant has interrupting vapours, troublesome vapours;
Whit, puff with him.
WHIT. No, I pree dee, captain, let him alone; he is a child, i'faith,
la.
LEATH. _Now, gentles, to the friends, who in number are two,
And lodged in that ale-house in which fair Hero does do.
Damon, for some kindness done him the last week,
Is come, fair Hero, in Fish-street, this morning to seek:
Pythias does smell the knavery of the meeting,
And now you shall see their true-friendly greeting._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _You whore-masterly slave, you._
COKES. Whore-masterly slave you! very friendly and familiar, that.
PUP. DAMON. _Whore-master in thy face,
Thou hast lain with her thyself, I'll prove it in this place._
COKES. Damon says, Pythias has lain with her himself, he'll prove't in
this place.
LEATH. _They are whore-masters both, sir, that's a plain case._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _You lie like a rogue._
LEATH. _Do I lie like a rogue?_
PUP. PYTHIAS. _A pimp and a scab._
LEATH. _A pimp and a scab.
I say, between you, you have both but one drab._
PUP. DAMON. _You lie again._
LEATH. _Do I lie again?_
PUP. DAMON. _Like a rogue again._
LEATH. _Like a rogue again?_
PUP. PYTHIAS. _And you are a pimp again._
COKES. And you are a pimp again, he says.
PUP. DAMON. _And a scab again._
COKES. And a scab again, he says.
LEATH. _And I say again, you are both whore-masters, again.
And you have both but one drab again._
PUP. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. _Dost thou, dost thou, dost thou?_
[They fall upon him.
LEATH. _What, both at once?_
PUP. PYTHIAS. _Down with him, Damon._
PUP. DAMON. _Pink his guts, Pythias._
LEATH. _What, so malicious?
Will ye murder me, masters both, in my own house?_
COKES. Ho! well acted, my drum, well acted, my pipe, well acted still!
WASPE. Well acted, with all my heart.
LEATH. _Hold, hold your hands._
COKES. Ay, both your hands, for my sake! for you have both done well.
PUP. DAMON. _Gramercy, pure Pythias._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _Gramercy, dear Damon._
COKES. Gramercy to you both, my pipe and my drum.
PUP. PYTHIAS AND DAMON. _Come, now we'll together to breakfast to
Hero._
LEATH. _'Tis well you can now go to breakfast to Hero.
You have given me my breakfast, with a hone and honero._
COKES. How is't, friend, have they hurt thee?
LEATH. O no:
Between you and I, sir, we do but make show.--
_Thus, gentles, you perceive, without any denial,
'Twixt Damon and Pythias here, friendship's true trial.
Though hourly they quarrel thus, and roar each with other.
They fight you no more than does brother with brother;
But friendly together, at the next man they meet,
They let fly their anger, as here you might see't._
COKES. Well, we have seen it, and thou hast felt it, whatsoe'er thou
sayest. What's next, what's next?
LEATH. _This while young Leander with fair Hero is drinking,
And Hero grown drunk to any man's thinking!
Yet was it not three pints of sherry could flaw her,
Till Cupid distinguished like Jonas the drawer,
From under his apron, where his lechery lurks,
Put love in her sack. Now mark how it works._
PUP. HERO. _O Leander, Leander, my dear, my dear Leander,
I'll for ever be thy goose, so thou'lt be my gander._
COKES. Excellently well said, Fiddle, she'll ever be his goose, so
he'll be her gander; was't not so?
LEATH. Yes, sir, but mark his answer now.
PUP. LEAN. _And sweetest of geese, before I go to bed,
I'll swim over the Thames, my goose, thee to tread._
COKES. Brave! he will swim over the Thames, and tread his goose
to-night, he says.
LEATH. Ay, peace, sir, they'll be angry if they hear you
eavesdropping, now they are setting their match.
PUP. LEAN. _But lest the Thames should be dark, my goose, my dear
friend,
Let thy window be provided of a candle's end._
PUP. HERO. _Fear not, my gander, I protest I should handle
My matters very ill, if I had not a whole candle._
PUP. LEAN. _Well then, look to't, and kiss me to boot._
LEATH. _Now here come the friends again, Pythias and Damon,
And under their clokes they have of bacon a gammon._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _Drawer, fill some wine here._
LEATH. _How, some wine there!
There's company already, sir, pray forbear._
PUP. DAMON. _'Tis Hero._
LEATH. _Yes, but she will not to be taken,
After sack and fresh herring, with your Dunmow-bacon._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _You lie, it's Westfabian._
LEATH. _Westphalian_ you should say.
PUP. DAMON. _If you hold not your peace, you are a coxcomb, I would
say._
[Leander and Hero kiss.
_What's here, what's here? kiss, kiss, upon kiss!_
LEATH. _Ay, wherefore should they not? what harm is in this?
'Tis mistress Hero._
PUP. DAMON. _Mistress Hero's a whore._
LEATH._ Is she a whore? keep you quiet, or, sir, knave, out of door._
PUP. DAMON. _Knave out of door?_
PUP. HERO. _Yes, knave out of door._
PUP. DAMON. _Whore out of door._
[They fall together by the ears.
PUP. HERO. _I say, knave out of door._
PUP. DAMON. _I say, whore out of door._
PUP. PYTHIAS. _Yea, so say I too._
PUP. HERO. _Kiss the whore o' the arse._
LEATH. _Now you have something to do:
You must kiss her o' the arse, she says._
PUP. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. _So we will, so we will._
[They kick her.
PUP. HERO. _O my haunches, O my haunches, hold, hold._
LEATH. _Stand'st thou still!
Leander, where, art thou? stand'st thou still like a sot,
And not offer'st to break both their heads with a pot?
See who's at thine elbow there! puppet Jonas and Cupid._
PUP. JONAS. _Upon 'em, Leander, be not so stupid._
PUP. LEAN. _You goat-bearded slave!_
PUP. DAMON. _You whore-master knave!_
[They fight.
PUP. LEAN. _Thou art a whore-master._
PUP. JONAS. _Whore-masters all._
LEATH. _See, Cupid with a word has tane up the brawl._
KNOCK. These be fine vapours!
COKES. By this good day, they fight bravely; do they not, Numps?
WASPE. Yes, they lack'd but you to be their second all this while.
LEATH. _This tragical encounter falling out thus to busy us,
It raises up the ghost of their friend Dionysius;
Not like a monarch, but the master of a school,
In a scrivener's furr'd gown, which shews he is no fool:
For therein he hath wit enough to keep himself warm.
O Damon, he cries, and Pythias, what harm
Hath poor Dionysius done you in his grave,
That after his death you should fall out thus and rave,
And call amorous Leander whore-master knave?_
PUP. DAMON. _I cannot, I will not, I promise you, endure it._
_RABBI BUSY rushes in._
BUSY. Down with Dagon! down with Dagon! 'tis I, I will no
longer endure your profanations.
LEATH. What mean you, sir?
BUSY. I will remove Dagon there, I say, that idol, that heathenish
idol, that remains, as I may say, a beam, a very beam,--not a beam of
the sun, nor a beam of the moon, nor a beam of a balance, neither a
house-beam, nor a weaver's beam, but a beam in the eye, in the eye of
the brethren; a very great beam, an exceeding great beam; such as are
your stage-players, rimers, and morrice-dancers, who have walked hand
in hand, in contempt of the brethren, and the cause; and been born out
by instruments of no mean countenance.
LEATH. Sir, I present nothing but what is licensed by authority.
BUSY. Thou art all license, even licentiousness itself, Shimei!
LEATH. I have the master of the revels' hand for't, sir.
BUSY. The master of the rebels' hand thou hast. Satan's! hold thy
peace, thy scurrility, shut up thy mouth, thy profession is damnable,
and in pleading for it thou dost plead for Baal. I have long opened my
mouth wide, and gaped; I have gaped as the oyster for the tide, after
thy destruction: but cannot compass it by suit or dispute; so that I
look for a bickering, ere long, and then a battle.
KNOCK. Good Banbury vapours!
COKES. Friend, you'd have an ill match on't, if you bicker with him
here; though he be no man of the fist, he has friends that will to
cuffs for him. Numps, will not you take our side?
EDG. Sir, it shall not need; in my mind he offers him a fairer course,
to end it by disputation: hast thou nothing to say for thyself, in
defence of thy quality?
LEATH. Faith, sir, I am not well-studied in these controversies,
between the hypocrites and us. But here's one of my motion, puppet
Dionysius, shall undertake him, and I'll venture the cause on't.
COKES. Who, my hobby-horse! will he dispute with him?
LEATH. Yes, sir, and make a hobby-ass of him, I hope.
COKES. That's excellent! indeed he looks like the best scholar of them
all. Come, sir, you must be as good as your word now.
BUSY. I will not fear to make my spirit and gifts known: assist me
zeal, fill me, fill me, that is, make me full!
WINW. What a desperate, profane wretch is this! is there any ignorance
or impudence like his, to call his zeal to fill him against a puppet?
QUAR. I know no fitter match than a puppet to commit with an
hypocrite!
BUSY. First, I say unto thee, idol, thou hast no calling.
PUP. DION. _You lie, I am call'd Dionysius._
LEATH. The motion says, you lie, he is call'd Dionysius in the matter,
and to that calling he answers.
BUSY. I mean no vocation, idol, no present lawful calling.
PUP. DION. _Is yours a lawful calling?_
LEATH. The motion asketh, if yours be a lawful calling.
BUSY. Yes, mine is of the spirit.
PUP. DION. _Then idol is a lawful calling._
LEATH. He says, then idol is a lawful calling; for you call'd him
idol, and your calling is of the spirit.
COKES. Well disputed, hobby-horse.
BUSY. Take not part with the wicked, young gallant: he neigheth and
hinnieth; all is but hinnying sophistry. I call him idol again; yet, I
say, his calling, his profession is profane, it is profane, idol.
PUP. DION. _It is not profane._
LEATH. It is not profane, he says.
BUSY. It is profane.
PUP. DION. _It is not profane._
BUSY. It is profane.
PUP. DION. _It is not profane._
LEATH. Well said, confute him with _Not_, still. You cannot bear him
down with your base noise, sir.
BUSY. Nor he me, with his treble creeking, though he creek like the
chariot wheels of Satan; I am zealous for the cause--
LEATH. As a dog for a bone.
BUSY. And I say, it is profane, as being the page of Pride, and the
waiting-woman of Vanity.
PUP. DION. _Yea! what say you to your tire-women, then?_
LEATH. Good.
PUP. DION. _Or feather-makers in the Friers, that are of your faction
of faith? are not they with their perukes, and their puffs, their
fans, and their huffs, as much pages of Pride, and waiters upon
Vanity? What say you, what say you, what say you?_
BUSY. I will not answer for them.
PUP. DION. _Because you cannot, because you cannot. Is a bugle-maker a
lawful calling? or the confect-makers? such you have there; or your
French fashioner? you would have all the sin within yourselves, would
you not, would you not?_
BUSY. No, Dagon.
PUP. DION. _What then, Dagonet? is a puppet worse than these?_
BUSY. Yes, and my main argument against you is, that you are an
abomination; for the male, among you, putteth on the apparel of the
female, and the female of the male.
PUP. DION. _You lie, you lie, you lie abominably._
COKES. Good, by my troth, he has given him the lie thrice.
PUP. DION. _It is your old stale argument against the players, but it
will not hold against the puppets; for we have neither male nor female
amongst us. And that thou may'st see, if thou wilt, like a malicious
purblind zeal as thou art._
[Takes up his garment.
EDG. By my faith, there he has answer'd you, friend, a plain
demonstration.
PUP. DION. _Nay, I'll prove, against e'er a Rabbin of them all, that
my standing is as lawful as his; that I speak by inspiration, as well
as he; that I have as little to do with learning as he; and do scorn
her helps as much as he._
BUSY. I am confuted, the cause hath failed me.
PUP. DION. _Then be converted, be converted._
LEATH. Be converted, I pray you, and let the play go on!
BUSY. Let it go on; for I am changed, and will become a beholder with
you.
COKES. That's brave, i'faith, thou hast carried it away, hobby-horse;
on with the play.
OVER. [_discovering himself._] Stay, now do I forbid; I am Adam
Overdo! sit still, I charge you.
COKES. What, my brother-in-law!
GRACE. My wise guardian!
EDG. Justice Overdo!
OVER. It is time to take enormity by the forehead, and brand it; for I
have discovered enough.
_Enter QUARLOUS in TROUBLEALL'S clothes, as before, and DAME
PURECRAFT._
QUAR. Nay, come, mistress bride; you must do as I do, now. You must be
mad with me, in truth. I have here justice Overdo for it.
OVER. Peace, good Troubleall; come hither, and you shall trouble none.
I will take the charge of you, and your friend too; you also, young
man [_to Edgworth_] shall be my care; stand there.
EDG. Now, mercy upon me.
KNOCK. Would we were away, Whit, these are dangerous vapours; best
fall off with our birds, for fear o' the cage.
[_They attempt to steal away._
OVER. Stay, is not my name your terror?
WHIT. Yesh fait, man, and it ish for tat we would be gone, man.
_Enter LITTLEWIT._
LIT. O, gentlemen! did you not see a wife of mine? I have lost my
little wife, as I shall be trusted; my little pretty Win. I left her
at the great woman's house in trust yonder, the pig-woman's, with
captain Jordan, and captain Whit, very good men, and I cannot hear of
her. Poor fool, I fear she's stepp'd aside. Mother, did you not see
Win?
OVER. If this grave matron be your mother, sir, stand by her, _et
digito compesce labellum;_ I may perhaps spring a wife for you anon.
Brother Bartholomew, I am sadly sorry to see you so lightly given, and
such a disciple of enormity, with your grave governor Humphrey: but
stand you both there, in the middle place; I will reprehend you in
your course. Mistress Grace, let me rescue you out of the hands of the
stranger.
WINW. Pardon me, sir, I am a kinsman of hers.
OVER. Are you so! of what name, sir?
WINW. Winwife, sir.
OVER. Master Winwife! I hope you have won no wife of her, sir; if you
have, I will examine the possibility of it, at fit leisure. Now, to my
enormities: look upon me, O London! and see me, O Smithfield! the
example of justice, and Mirrour of Magistrates; the true top of
formality, and scourge of enormity. Hearken unto my labours, and but
observe my discoveries; and compare Hercules with me, if thou dar'st,
of old; or Columbus, Magellan, or our countryman Drake, of later
times. Stand forth, you weeds of enormity, and spread. First, Rabbi
Busy, thou superlunatical hypocrite;--[_to Leatherhead._] Next thou
other extremity, thou profane professor of puppetry, little better
than poetry:--[_to Whit._] Then thou strong debaucher and seducer of
youth; witness this easy and honest young man, [_pointing to
Edgworth._]--[_to Knockem._] Now, thou esquire of dames, madams, and
twelve-penny ladies.--Now, my green madam herself of the price; let me
unmask your ladyship.
[_Discovers Mrs. Littlewit._
LIT. O my wife, my wife, my wife!
OVER. Is she your wife? _Redde te Harpocratem!_
_Enter TROUBLEALL, with a dripping-pan, followed by URSULA and
NIGHTINGALE._
TRO. By your leave, stand by, my masters, be uncover'd.
URS. O stay him, stay him, help to cry, Nightingale; my pan, my pan!
OVER. What's the matter?
NIGHT. He has stolen gammar Ursula's pan.
TRO. Yes, and I fear no man but justice Overdo.
OVER. Ursula! where is she? O the sow of enormity, this! welcome,
stand you there; you, songster, there.
URS. An't please your worship, I am in no fault: a gentleman stripped
him in my booth, and borrowed his gown, and his hat; and he ran away
with my goods here for it.
OVER. [_to Quarlous._] Then this is the true madman, and you are the
enormity!
QUAR. You are in the right: I am mad but from the gown outward.
OVER. Stand you there.
QUAR. Where you please, sir.
MRS. OVER. [_waking_] O, lend me a bason, I am sick, I am sick!
where's master Overdo? Bridget, call hither my Adam.
OVER. How!
[_He is shamed and silenced._
WHIT. Dy very own wife, i'fait, worshipful Adam.
MRS. OVER. Will not my Adam come at me? shall I see him no more then?
QUAR. Sir, why do you not go on with the enormity? are you oppressed
with it? I'll help you: hark you, sir, in your ear--Your innocent
young man, you have ta'en such care of all this day, is a cut-purse,
that hath got all your brother Cokes' things, and helped you to your
beating and the stocks; if you have a mind to hang him now, and shew
him your magistrate's wit, you may: but I should think it were better
recovering the goods, and to save your estimation in him. I thank you,
sir, for the gift of your ward, mistress Grace; look you, here is your
hand and seal, by the way. Master Winwife, give you joy, you are
_Palemon_, you are possessed of the gentlewoman, but she must pay me
value, here's warrant for it. And, honest madman, there's thy gown and
cap again; I thank thee for my wife. Nay, I can be mad, sweet-heart,
[_to Mrs. Purecraft_] when I please still; never fear me; and careful
Numps, where's he? I thank him for my license.
WASPE. How!
QUAR. 'Tis true, Numps.
WASPE. I'll be hang'd then.
QUAR. Look in your box, Numps.--Nay, sir, [_to Overdo._] stand not you
fix'd here, like a stake in Finsbury, to be shot at, or the
whipping-post in the Fair, but get your wife out o' the air, it will
make her worse else; and remember you are but Adam, flesh and blood!
you have your frailty, forget your other name of Overdo, and invite us
all to supper. There you and I will compare our discoveries; and drown
the memory of all enormity in your biggest bowl at home.
COKES. How now, Numps, have you lost it? I warrant 'twas when thou
wert in the stocks: Why dost not speak!
WASPE. I will never speak while I live again, for aught I know.
OVER. Nay, Humphrey, if I be patient, you must be so too; this
pleasant conceited gentleman hath wrought upon my judgment, and
prevail'd: I pray you take care of your sick friend, mistress Alice,
and my good friends all--
QUAR. And no _enormities._
OVER. I invite you home with me to my house to supper: I will have
none fear to go along, for my intents are _ad correctionem, non ad
destructionem; ad ædificandum, non ad diruendum_: so lead on.
COKES. Yes, and bring the actors along, we'll have the rest of the
play at home.
[_Exeunt._
EPILOGUE.
_Your Majesty hath seen the play, and you
Can best allow it from your ear and view.
You know the scope of writers, and what store
Of leave is given them, if they take not more,
And turn it into license: you can tell
If we have us'd that leave you gave us well;
Or whether we to rage or license break,
Or be profane, or make profane men speak:
This is your power to judge, great sir, and not
The envy of a few. Which if we have got,
We value less what their dislike can bring,
If it so happy be, t' have pleased the King._
Transcriber's Note
The text of this transcription is from the second volume of the
"Everyman's Library" edition of Jonson's plays which was first
published in 1910 by J.M. Dent in London. Images of a reprint of this
edition are posted at:
archive.org/details/plays02jons
As a reference, a copy of the 1640 edition (i.e., the "Folio") made
available by the University of California was also consulted. Images
of this copy are posted at:
archive.org/details/workesofbenjamin00jons
Any transcription of a 1910 edition of a Jacobean text will run into
some minor problems, and "Bartholomew Fair" poses its own special set
of challenges. The goal of the Everyman's Library edition was to
create a readable text, but editorial standards have changed since it
was first published. Certain words from the Folio were censored. For
example, "t--" is substituted for "turd". The Everyman's Library
edition frequently spells out words that are contractions in the
Folio, for example, substituting _in_ for _i'_ and _have_ for _ha'_.
The Folio includes many stage directions, but there are
inconsistencies, errors, and apparent omissions. As a corrective, the
editor of the 1910 edition added more stage directions than more
recent editors would. In the Folio, stage directions are printed in
the margins to indicate that the action happens during the dialogue,
and some lines are printed to the right of others to indicate
simultaneous dialogue, for example, during Nightingale's song in Act
III. The 1910 edition prints the text without columns or margins.
Consequently some stage directions were changed, and the dialogue is
printed sequentially, making it harder for the reader to get a sense
of the stage action.
In general, this transcription retains the text of the Everyman's
Library edition. Censored words have been restored, and a few errors
have been corrected. Inconsistencies in the character titles have
been corrected, and character names in stage directions have been
spelled out. Following the Folio's conventions, the 1910 text
italicizes text to set off songs or lines from the play within a play,
though somewhat inconsistently. This use of italics has been made
consistent. In the 1910 text, character titles preceding dialogue in a
regular typeface are italicized, and character titles preceding the
italicized text of songs or the play within the play are printed in a
regular typeface. The html-based files of this transcription retain
this use of contrasting regular and italicized typefaces. In the text
version of this transcription, all character titles preceding dialogue
and in stage directions for entrances are capitalized. The character
titles of the puppets in Act V have been adjusted to help clarify
which lines are part of the play within a play.
The following changes to the Everyman's Library text are noted:
- Cover: The cover has been edited from the original dust jacket.
- Title page: The 1910 text, which is part of an anthology of Jonson's
plays, only has a title page for the collection. The text included in
the title page for this etext is based on the text of the Folio's
title page.
- p. 189: WASPE. Good master Hornet, t--in your teeth--Changed "t--in"
to "turd in" as in the Folio.
- p. 189: and t--in your little wife's teeth too--Changed "t--in" to
"turd in".
- p. 190: WASPE. Marry gip, goody She-justice, mistress Frenchhood!
t--in your teeth, and t--in your Frenchhood's teeth too--Changed
"t--in" to "turd in".
- p. 191: MRS. LIT. And I am, for the cosset his charge--Assigned this
line to Winwife in keeping with the Folio.
- p. 192: OVER. You will not let him go, brother, and lose him?--For
consistency, changed the character title "OVER." to "MRS. OVER."
- p. 193: GRA. Truly, I have no such fancy to the Fair--For
consistency, changed the character title "GRA." to "GRACE."
- p. 195: For consistency with the rest of the text, changed the
character title "BUS." to "BUSY."
- p. 197: The text of the song beginning with the line "Now the Fair's
a filling!" has been italicized in keeping with the Folio and the
convention elsewhere in the text of italicizing songs.
- p. 198-99: and a quarter of pound of colt's-foot mixt with it too,
to [eke] it out.--The Everyman's Library edition substituted "[eke]"
for "itch" in the Folio. The original word has been restored.
- p. 206: because he is an ass. and may be a-kin to the
Cokeses?--Changed period after "ass" to a comma.
- p. 209: [_Beats Overdo._--Changed the stage direction to "[_They
speak all together; and Waspe beats Overdo._" based on the stage
direction in the Folio and deleted a second stage direction ("[_Beats
Overdo again._"), which is not in the Folio. In the Folio, the
dialogue is printed in two columns, with Cokes', Mrs. Overdo's, and
most of Waspe's lines in one column, and Justice Overdo's line in the
other. The stage direction is printed in the right margin.
- p. 209: _Enter VAL, WHIT, HAGGISE, and BRISTLE._--Deleted "VAL" from
the list of characters entering. In the Folio, Jonson usually lists at
the beginning of a scene who is to speak in that scene and often uses
these lists to indicate an entrance. This character was not listed at
the beginning of this scene in the Folio and has no lines.
- p. 210: HAD. Why, should the watch go by the clock--Corrected the
character title abbreviation to "HAG." in keeping with the Folio.
- p. 214: in justice name, and the king's, and for the
commonwealth.--Inserted "[_Exit._" at the end of Overdo's speech. On
p. 217, a stage direction indicates that Overdo re-enters, but the
Everyman's Library edition does not indicate his exit after his
speech. The Folio implies he exits before Cokes, Mistress Overdo, and
Grace enter.
- p. 215: nay, you have it, sir, an you be angry, t--in your teeth,
twice;--Changed "t--in" to "turd in".
- p. 218: Look you, sister, here, here, [_he shews his purse
boastingly_], let him come--Deleted the comma after the second "here"
for consistency.
- p. 218: COKES. _So I heard them say!_--In keeping with the Folio,
the text "So I heard them say!" is not italicized, and consequently
the character title "Cokes" is italicized in the html-based files.
- p. 223: WINW. I'll look to you, in faith, gamester.--[_Aside._] An
unfortunate foolish tribe--Reversed the order of the em dash and the
stage direction to clarify that the first sentence is an aside.
- p. 224: _Enter MRS. PURECRAFT._--Changed "MRS." to "DAME" for
consistency.
- p. 228: _Enter POCHER, and Officers with BUSY, followed by MRS.
PURECRAFT._--Changed "MRS." to "DAME" for consistency.
- p. 234: After Knockem's line "To what do you say nay, sir?",
inserted the stage direction from the Folio describing the game of
vapors.
- p. 236: WASPE. A t-- in your teeth, never pre dee me, for I will
have nothing mistaken.--Changed "t--" to "turd".
- p. 236: KNOCK. T--! ha, t--? a noisome vapour: strike,
Whit.--Changed "T--" and "t--" to spell the word "turd."
- p. 237: marry s-- o' your hood--Changed "s--" to "shite" using the
spelling in the Folio.
- p. 237: t-- in your teeth for a fee, now.--Changed "t--" to "turd".
- pp. 253-60: In keeping with the Folio, the character titles of the
puppets have been changed so that "PUP." precedes the abbreviated
name. For example, "LEAN." (short for "LEANDER") has been changed to
"PUP. LEAN."
- p. 254: LEATH. _How, Hogrubber of Pickthatch._--In keeping with the
Folio, changed the period at the end of the sentence to a question
mark.
- p. 257: Italicized Leatherhead's speech beginning "How, some wine
there!" for consistency in italicizing text that is part of the puppet
show.
- p. 257: PUP. HERO. _Kiss the whore o' the a--._--Changed "_a--_" to
"_arse_".
- p. 257: _You must kiss her o' the a--, she says._--Changed "_a--_"
to "_arse_".
- p. 260: you also, young man [_to Edgeworth_] shall be my care; stand
there.--Changed "_Edgeworth_" to "_Edgworth_" for consistency.
- p. 261: witness this easy and honest young man, [_pointing to
Edge_]--[_to Knock._] Now, thou esquire of dames--Changed "_Edge_" to
"_Edgworth._" and "_Knock_" to "_Knockem_".
- p. 261: _redde te Harpocratem._--Capitalized the "_r_" in "_redde_"
and changed the period to an exclamation mark in keeping with the
Folio. Overdo is pompously ordering Littlewit to be quiet. An English
translation is: "Turn yourself into Harpocrates!" (i.e., the god of
silence).