_Enter GRACE, QUARLOUS, and WINWIFE, with their swords drawn._
GRACE. Gentlemen, this is no way that you take; you do but breed one
another trouble and offence, and give me no contentment at all. I am
not she that affects to be quarrell'd for, or have my name or fortune
made the question of men's swords.
QUAR. 'Sblood, we love you.
GRACE. If you both love me, as you pretend, your own reason will tell
you, but one can enjoy me: and to that point there leads a directer
line, than by my infamy, which must follow, if you fight. 'Tis true, I
have profest it to you ingenuously, that rather than to be yoked with
this bridegroom is appointed me, I would take up any husband almost
upon any trust; though subtlety would say to me, I know, he is a fool,
and has an estate, and I might govern him, and enjoy a friend beside:
but these are not my aims; I must have a husband I must love, or I
cannot live with him. I shall ill make one of these politic wives.
WINW. Why, if you can like either of us, lady, say, which is he, and
the other shall swear instantly to desist.
QUAR. Content, I accord to that willingly.
GRACE. Sure you think me a woman of an extreme levity, gentlemen, or a
strange fancy, that, meeting you by chance in such a place as this,
both at one instant, and not yet of two hours' acquaintance, neither
of you deserving afore the other of me, I should so forsake my modesty
(though I might affect one more particularly) as to say, this is he,
and name him.
QUAR. Why, wherefore should you not? what should hinder you?
GRACE. If you would not give it to my modesty, allow it yet to my wit;
give me so much of woman and cunning, as not to betray myself
impertinently. How can I judge of you, so far as to a choice, without
knowing you more? You are both equal, and alike to me yet, and so
indifferently affected by me, as each of you might be the man, if the
other were away: for you are reasonable creatures, you have
understanding and discourse; and if fate send me an understanding
husband, I have no fear at all but mine own manners shall make him a
good one.
QUAR. Would I were put forth to making for you then.
GRACE. It may be you are, you know not what is toward you: will you
consent to a motion of mine, gentlemen?
WINW. Whatever it be, we'll presume reasonableness, coming from you.
QUAR. And fitness too.
GRACE. I saw one of you buy a pair of tables, e'en now.
WINW. Yes, here they be, and maiden ones too, unwritten in.
GRACE. The fitter for what they may be employed in. You shall write
either of you here a word or a name, what you like best, but of two or
three syllables at most; and the next person that comes this way,
because Destiny has a high hand in business of this nature, I'll
demand which of the two words he or she doth approve, and, according
to that sentence, fix my resolution and affection without change.
QUAR. Agreed; my word is conceived already.
WINW. And mine shall not be long creating after.
GRACE. But you shall promise, gentlemen, not to be curious to know
which of you it is, taken; but give me leave to conceal that, till you
have brought me either home, or where I may safely tender myself.
WINW. Why, that's but equal.
QUAR. We are pleased.
GRACE. Because I will bind both your endeavours to work together
friendly and jointly each to the other's fortune, and have myself
fitted with some means, to make him that is forsaken a part of amends.
QUAR. These conditions are very courteous. Well, my word is out of the
Arcadia, then; _Argalus._
WINW. And mine out of the Play _Palemon._
[_They write._
_Enter TROUBLEALL._
TRO. Have you any warrant for this, gentlemen?
QUAR. WINW. Ha!
TRO. There must be a warrant had, believe it.
WINW. For what?
TRO. For whatsoever it is, any thing indeed, no matter what.
QUAR. 'Slight, here's a fine ragged prophet dropt down i' the nick!
TRO. Heaven quit you, gentlemen!
QUAR. Nay, stay a little: good lady, put him to the question.
GRACE. You are content then?
WINW. QUAR. Yes, yes.
GRACE. Sir, here are two names written--
TRO. Is justice Overdo one?
GRACE. How, sir! I pray you read them to yourself; it is for a wager
between these gentlemen; and with a stroke, or any difference, mark
which you approve best.
TRO. They may be both worshipful names for aught I know, mistress; but
Adam Overdo had been worth three of them, I assure you in this place,
that's in plain English.
GRACE. This man amazes me: I pray you like one of them, sir.
TRO. [_marks the book._] I do like him there, that has the best
warrant, mistress, to save your longing, and (multiply him) it may be
this. But I am still for justice Overdo, that's my conscience; and
quit you.
WINW. Is it done, lady?
GRACE. Ay, and strangely, as ever I saw: what fellow is this, trow?
QUAR. No matter what, a fortune-teller we have made him; which is it,
which is it?
GRACE. Nay, did you not promise not to inquire?
_Enter EDGWORTH._
QUAR. 'Slid, I forgot that, pray you pardon me.--Look, here's our
Mercury come; the license arrives in the finest time too! 'tis but
scraping out Cokes his name, and 'tis done.
WINW. How now, lime-twig, hast thou touch'd?
EDG. Not yet, sir; except you would go with me and see it, it is not
worth speaking on. The act is nothing without a witness. Yonder he is,
your man with the box, fallen into the finest company, and so
transported with vapours! they have got in a northern clothier, and
one Puppy, a western man, that's come to wrestle before my lord mayor
anon, and captain Whit, and one Val. Cutting, that helps captain
Jordan to roar, a circling boy; with whom your Numps is so taken, that
you may strip him of his clothes, if you will. I'll undertake to geld
him for you, if you had but a surgeon ready to sear him. And mistress
Justice there, is the goodest woman! she does so love them all over in
terms of justice and the style of authority, with her hood upright
that--I beseech you come away, gentlemen, and see't.
QUAR. 'Slight, I would not lose it for the Fair; what will you do,
Ned?
WINW. Why, stay hereabout for you: mistress Wellborn must not be seen.
QUAR. Do so, and find out a priest in the mean time; I'll bring the
license.--Lead, which way is't?
EDG. Here, sir, you are on the back o' the booth already; you may hear
the noise.
[_Exeunt._