“’Fi’s a leetla orphan, wif no share in the Kissmiss joy,
I’d jus’ dopt ole Santa Clausa, and be hees leetla boy.”
MR. OPPERMAN—A goot chooze, dot vould be, aretty.
ELSIE—I wouldn’t. I’d ’dopt my Jimmy, and his little sister be.
JIMMY—Just like you did, Ilsie darlint.
KATIE—Nixt is a rale plantation song by the Washington famerly, the
hull four av thim.
CHLOE—Yo ottah call it a quahtette, honey. Dat’s de stylish name.
(_Pompey plays his banjo, and they all sing. Any of the old Southern
Darkey songs will do—not the ragtime coon song of to-day._)
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by our esteemed frind and fellow bachelor,
Mr. Fritz Opperman.
MR. OPPERMAN—Bud I don’t vos knew any Gristmas biece, aretty. I voz von
Jew, you see, Miss Kadie.
KATIE—But yez kin say some dandy ones. Niver moind the Christmas part,
Mr. Opperman. Jist spale off a funny one. (_Mr. Opperman recites any
comic poem in Dutch dialect._)
MR. OPPERMAN—Now id vos other poddy’s durn, aretty yet.
KATIE—Yis, it’s Mickey’s. Masther Saint Michael McCarthy will now spake
a ricitation. (_Mickey recites “Santa’s Mistake.”_)
BRIDGET—(_at close_) Sure, an’ I haven’t thin, Mickey, bye. Oi’d be
proud to have a dozin as foine ones as me own three are, and if the
ould Saint laves me anither Oi’ll kape me eyes on yez, Oi will thot.
MICKEY—(_looking over Katie’s shoulder_) Nixt Luigi will play us a
chune on his fiddle.
KATIE—(_pushing him_) Be off wid yez! Is that a pretty way to say it,
now? Nixt, is a violin doit, by the great Italian musishin—Misther
Antonio Ferrari, and his son Masther Luigi ditto.
LUIGI—Ditto not my name-a. (_Antonio and Luigi play, Luigi playing
second part, preferably something distinctly Italian. If desired,
Carlotta and Bianca may sing, in Italian._)
PAT—I doos loike a good fiddle chune.
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Thelma Omstrom. (_Thelma recites
“The Birdie’s Tree.”_)
MR. OPPERMAN—Dot von goot ting to do vos, aretty.
HILDA—We always do so in Sweden. The birrds their Chrissmas haff as
well as the little ones.
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Constantia Erin McCarthy. (_Connie
recites “Baby’s Shopping.”_)
PAT—The littel spalpeen. If thot wasn’t a good joke now!
KATIE—Nixt is an ould Latin hymn, as sung in the Catholic churches, by
Mrs. Bridget Maloney McCarthy, who was once a soloist in the church in
Kerry. (_Bridget sings “Adeste Fidelis,” or some other old Christmas
hymn. If preferred, she may sing in English, but the old Latin hymns
are very beautiful._)
PAT—Sure, and Oi heard her a singing thot same hymn one Christmas in
ould Oirland. Oi’d been to say me mither’s ant, in Kerry, and was a
going home the nixt day. But I didn’t. “Begorry, thot’s the vice, fer
me,” says I, and I stayed and coorted the singer.
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Bianca Ferrari. (_Bianca recites
“What They Found.”_)
LARS—Take a warning, you Luigi boy, and don’t bane tease your sister
any more.
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Miss Cleopatry Harriet Beecher Stowe
Washington.
CLEOPATRA—’Twarn’t no resh’tashing. ’Twar a song—a lullerby.
KATIE—Shure and it was thot same. Ixcuse me, Cleo.
CLEOPATRA—Whah’s my pick-a-ninny, Mammy? (_Mammy takes from a capacious
pocket a rag doll rolled up from an old black stocking with features
sewed on, and a cap and long dress of white._)
CHLOE—Heah she am, honey chile. Sing her to sleep now. (_Cleopatra may
sing any darkey lullaby._)
HILDA—A sweet little song, and nicely singed.
KATIE—Nixt is a ricitation by Carl Omstrom. (_Carl recites “A Ten Cent
Christmas.”_)
LARS—(_at close of recitation_) And I did buy effery one of tem for
some one here. I bane had a real dime.
KATIE—And now, as Mr. Lars Omstrom and Mrs. Hilda Omstrom have begged
to be ixcused, we will ind this programme by a good rousing Christmas
carol, sung by iverbuddy.
JIMMY—No, yez don’t. Miss Katherine McCarthy hasn’t done her share yit.
KATIE—Yis I did, Jimmy. I read the programme.
MICKY—No go. Ye’ve got ter sing, Katie.