ELSIE—There candy is on it, and candles, and the angel flies over the
top aretty. It is a nice tree, Jimmy.
TONY—I wants candy.
CARLOTTA—Not yet-a is the candy time-a. Mia bambino mus’ wait-a.
BRIDGET—Yis, furrst is the grand vodyville intertainmint by the
inhabitints of Murphy’s tinemint. Read off the names, Katy darlint.
KATY—First is the spache av wilcome, by Patrick O’Rafferty McCarthy.
PATRICK—Highly honored frinds and nayborrs. We are gathered here
to-night—to-night, we are gathered here—to—to—
BRIDGET—(_in a stage whisper_) To celebrate.
PATRICK—Oh yis. To celebrate. We’re gathered here to celebrate.
(_Scratches head._) We’re gathered here to celebrate—and—and—we’re
doing av thot same.
BRIDGET—(_whispers_) It’s a joyful occasion.
PATRICK—Bedad, and it isn’t thin. It’s anything but a jyful occasion
whin yez have a spache to make and can’t remimber a worrd av it! ’Twas
Biddy and Katie wrote it, and begorry they’ll have to say it, if it’s
said. The mate in the shell av it is this. We’ve got up this shindy fer
the orphin in our midst, little Islie, bliss the blue eyes av her! who
belongs to ivery one av us, and fer our own little childher as well—the
poor little spalpeens that we’ve chated out av a Christmas ivery year
because we wasn’t Carniggy’s. We’re a holdin’ it here in McCarthy’s
fore room, be the razin that it’s the biggest room in the tinemint,
with the ixciption of Opperman’s, which he ginerously offered, but
which was so cluttered ’twould have taxed the patience av a saint to
thry to pick it up. So it’s here, as yez see, and it’s wilcome yez are,
ivery one, Catholic and heretic, Jew, and Gintile, to hilp kape the
birthday av one little Child, by making other childer happy. Wilcome to
iverybody. Wilcome to the Christmas at McCarthy’s. (_sits down._)
(_All, clapping and stamping._)
Foine! Great! (_and so on._) (_Every number on the program must be
vociferously applauded._)
KATIE—Nixt is a recitation by Patsy McCarthy, Junior.
BRIDGET—Shpake up, Patsy love, and do as well as ould Patsy did, now.