ILL MET.
A note from Mrs. Ormonde next morning informed Katherine that she had
returned to Castleford, and recorded her deep regret that she could not
call before leaving town, but that time was too short, although they had
delayed their departure for a couple of days.
"We met Lord de Burgh at Lady Mary Vincent's; you can't think what a
fuss she made about him. I remember when she would not let him inside
her doors. He is older and more abrupt than ever. He told me he was
going to meet you at Mrs. Needham's, and said hers was the only house in
London worth going to. I suspect there is great fortune in store for
you, Katie, and no friend will rejoice at it more warmly than I shall.
Do write and tell me all about everything; it is frightfully dull down
here.
"Your ever attached sister,
"ADA."
Beyond a passing sensation of annoyance that De Burgh should make a
display of his acquaintance with Mrs. Needham and herself, this epistle
made no impression on Katherine, who was glad to have an unusual amount
of work for Mrs. Needham, who had started--or rather promised her
assistance in starting--a new scheme for extracting wax candle out of
peat. Respecting this she was immensely sanguine, for the first time in
her life she was to be properly remunerated for her trouble, and in a
year or two would make her fortune.
The day flew past with welcome rapidity, and in the evening Katherine
was swept off to a "first-night representation," which, though by no
means first-rate, helped to draw Katherine out of herself, and helped
her to vanquish vain regrets.
"You'll make a dozen copies of those notes please, dear," said Mrs.
Needham, as she stood dressed to go out after an early luncheon the
following day, "and I'll sign them when I come in; then there is the
notice of the play for my Dullertoova letter, and be sure you send those
extracts from the _Weekly Review_ to Angela Bradley. You know all the
rest; if I am not home by seven don't wait dinner for me."
Katherine had scarcely settled to her task, when the servant entered to
say that Lord De Burgh would be glad to speak to her, as he had a
message from Mrs. Needham.
"How strange!" murmured Katherine, adding aloud, "Then show him in."
"I have just met Mrs. Needham, and she told me to give you this," said
De Burgh, handing a card to Katherine as soon as she had shaken hands
with him. It was one of her own cards, and on the back was scribbled,
"Don't mind the notes."
"How extraordinary!" cried Katherine. "I thought they were of the last
importance. What did she say to you? you must have met her directly she
went out!"
"I think I did. I was coming through the narrow part of Kensington, and
was stopped by a block; just caught sight of your chief, and jumped out
of my cab to have a word with her. She told me I should find you, and
gave me that." De Burgh went on: "So this is the tremendous laboratory
where Mrs. Needham forges her thunderbolts," looking round with some
curiosity.
"And where _I_ forge _my_ thunderbolts, said Katherine, laughing.
"Thunderbolts!" echoed De Burgh, looking keenly at her. "No! where you
launch the lightning that either withers or kindles life-giving flames."
"Really, Lord De Burgh, you are positively poetical! I never dreamed of
your developing this faculty when you tried to teach me how to drive at
Castleford."
"No! it did not exist then--now I want to tell you of the cause of its
growth, you have silenced me often enough. To-day I will speak,
Katherine."
"If you please, 'm--there's twopence to pay," said the demure Ford,
advancing with a letter.
Half amused and partly relieved by the interruption, Katherine sought
for and produced the requisite coin, and then took the letter with a
look of some anxiety.
"It is my own writing," she said, "it is one of the envelopes I left
with Cis." Opening it and glancing at the contents her color rose, and
her bosom heaved. "Oh! do look at this," she cried.
De Burgh rose and read over her shoulder.
"DEAR AUNTIE,
"I hope you are quite well. We have had a dreadful row! Charlie could
not say his lesson, so Mr. Sells roared at him like a bull. Charlie got
into one of his fits, you know, and then he burst out laughing. Mr.
Sells went into such a rage; he laid hold of him and whipped him all
over, and I ran to break the cane. I hit his nose with my head so hard
that the blood came. I was glad to see the blood; then they locked us
both up. I have no stamp. Do come and take us away, do do do!
"Your loving,
"CIS."
"P.S.--If you don't come we'll run away to the gipsies on the common."
"The scoundrel! I'll go and thrash him within an inch of his life!"
cried De Burgh, when they had finished this epistle.
"I should like to do it myself," said Katherine in a low fierce tone,
starting up and crushing the letter in an angry grip.
"By Jove! I wish you could, I fancy you'd punish him pretty severely,"
returned De Burgh admiringly.
"I must go--go at once," continued Katherine, her lips trembling, her
lustrous eyes filling. "Think of the tender, fragile, sweet boy--who is
an angel in nature--beaten by a _dog_ like that! Lord de Burgh, I must
leave you, I must go at once."
"Yes, of course," said De Burgh, standing between her and the door; "but
not alone. May I come with you?"
Katherine paused, and put her hand to her head.
"No, I think you had better not."
"I will do whatever you like. Take Miss Payne with you--she is a shrewd
woman--and consult with her what you had better do. Shall you remove the
boys?"
She paused again before replying, looking rapidly, despairingly round.
These changes had cost her a good deal, and she had not much to go on
with unless she broke into the deposit which she hoped to preserve
intact for a long time to come.
"I do not know where to put them," she said, and there was a sound of
tears in her voice.
"You can do whatever you choose," said De Burgh, emphatically, "only,
while you are driving down to this confounded place, make up your mind
what to do. I wish you would feel yourself free to do anything or pay
anything. While you are dressing, I will go round to Miss Payne and
bring her back with me; then you must take my carriage, it will save
time; and don't exaggerate the effects of this whipping, a few impatient
cuts with a cane over his jacket would not hurt him much."
"Hurt him, no; crush and terrify him, yes. It will be months before he
can forget it; and I told the head master of Charlie's peculiarly
nervous temperament--this man seems to be an assistant. I will take your
advice, Lord de Burgh, and make some plan with Miss Payne. I hope she
will be able to come."
"She must--she shall," cried De Burgh, impetuously, and he hastily left
the room.
By the time Katherine had put on her out-door dress, and written an
explanatory line to Mrs. Needham, De Burgh returned with Miss Payne.
"You must tell me all about it as we go along," said that lady, as
Katherine took her place beside her, "and you must do nothing rash."
"Oh no, if I can only prevent a recurrence of such a scene. I am most
grateful to you for your kind help, Lord de Burgh. I will let you know
how things are settled."
"Thank you. I shall be glad of a line; but I shall call to-morrow to
hear a full and true account. Now, what's the name of the place?"
"Birch Grove, Wandsworth Common."
De Burgh gave the necessary directions, and the big black horse tossed
up his head, and dashed off at swift trot. Deep was the discussion which
ensued, and which ended in deciding that they would be guided by
circumstances.
The arrival of Miss Liddell was evidently most unexpected. She and her
companion were shown into the guest-parlor, where, after a while, Mr.
Lockwood, the principal, made his appearance.
"This is an unexpected pleasure, Miss Liddell. May I ask the reason of
your visit?"
Whereupon Katherine spoke more temperately than Miss Payne expected,
describing Cecil's letter, and reminding him that she had fully
explained Charlie's nervous weakness, and stating that, if she could not
be assured such treatment should not occur again, she must remove the
boy.
The 'dominie,' apparently touched by her tone, answered with equal
frankness. He had been called away by unavoidable business at the
beginning of the term, and had forgotten to warn his assistant
respecting Liddell minor. He regretted the incident; indeed, he had
intended to inform Miss Liddell of the unfortunate occurrence, but
extreme occupation must plead his excuse. Miss Liddell might be sure
that it should never happen again; indeed, her nephews were very
promising boys--the youngest a little young for his school, but it was
all the better for him to be accustomed to a higher standard. He hoped,
now that this unpleasantness was over, all would go on well.
"I hope so, Mr. Lockwood," returned Katherine; "but should my nephew be
again punished for what he cannot help, I shall immediately remove him
and his brother."
"So I understand, madam," said the schoolmaster, who was visibly much
annoyed by the whole affair. "I presume you would like to see the boys?"
"Yes, certainly. Will you be so good as to grant them a half-holiday?"
This was agreed to, and in a few minutes Cis and Charlie were hanging
round their aunt.
"Oh, auntie dear, have you come to take us away?"
"No, dears, but I have talked to Mr. Lockwood;" and she explained the
fact that Mr. Sells did not know that Charlie's laughter was
involuntary.
The poor little fellow did not complain of his aunt's decision; he just
laid his head on her shoulders and cried silently. This was worse than
any other line of conduct. Cis declared his intention of running away
forthwith; however, when matters were laid before him and the joys of a
half-holiday set forth, he consented to try 'old Sells' a little longer,
and then Katherine took them back to Wilton Street, where they spent a
quiet happy afternoon with their aunt, to whom they poured out their
hearts, and were finally taken back by the polite Francois.
"You are the kindest of much enduring employers," said Katherine,
gratefully, when she joined Mrs. Needham at dinner. "I earnestly hope my
sudden desertion has not inconvenienced you. Now I am ready to work far
into the night to make up for lost time."
"Oh, you need not do that; I changed my plans after I met Lord de Burgh,
and came home to write here. Now tell me all about those poor dears and
that brute of a master."
The excitement of this expedition over, Katherine felt rather depressed
and nervous the next morning. She dreaded Lord de Burgh's visit, yet did
not absolutely wish to avoid it. It was due to him that the sort of
probation which he had voluntarily instituted should come to an end.
She could not allow herself to be made conspicuous by the constant
attentions of a man who was known to be about the best match in London,
yet she was genuinely sorry to lose him--as a friend he had been so kind
and thoughtful about the boys too! Well, she would be frank and
sympathetic, and soften her refusal as much as possible. How she wished
it were over, she found writing an impossible task, and Mrs. Needham,
noticing her restlessness, observed, with a grave smile,
"I expect you will have some very good news for me this afternoon! I am
going out to luncheon."
"No, dear Mrs. Needham, I do not think I shall," returned Katherine. "I
fear----"
"Lord de Burgh is in the drawing room," said the parlor-maid.
"Go, Katherine," cried Mrs. Needham; "and don't tell me there is any
doubt about your having good news! You deserve bread and water for the
rest of your natural life if you don't take the goods the gods provide."
Katherine hesitated, smiled miserably, and left the room.
"Well, and how did you find the poor little chap?" were De Burgh's first
words. "There's nothing wrong, I hope?--you look as white as a ghost,
and your hand is quite cold;" placing his left on it, as it lay in his
grasp. "The boys are well?"
"Yes, quite well, and reconciled with some difficulty to remain where
they are," she returned, disengaging herself and sinking rather than
sitting down into a corner of a sofa nearest her.
"Then what has upset you? I suppose," softening his voice, "the whole
thing was too much for you."
"I daresay I excited myself more than I need have done, but I think my
little Charlie is safe for the future."
"Do you know that it makes me half mad to see that look of distress in
your eyes, to see the color fading out of your cheeks! Katherine, I
can't hold my tongue any longer. I thought I was far gone when I used to
count the days between my visits to Sandbourne; I am a good deal worse
now that you have let me be a sort of chum! Life without you is
something I don't care to face, I don't indeed! Why don't you make up
your mind to take me for better for worse? I'll try to be all better;
just think how happy we might be! Those boys should have the best
training money or care could get; and, Katherine, I'm not a bad fellow!
Now you know me better, you must feel that I should never be a bad
fellow to _you_."
"You are a very good fellow, Lord de Burgh, that I quite believe; but
(it pains me so much to say it) I really do not love you as I ought,
and, unless I do love I dare not marry."
"Why not?--that is, if you don't love some other fellow. Will you tell
me if any man stands in my way?"
"No, indeed, Lord de Burgh; who could I love?"
"That is impossible to say; however, your word is enough. If your heart
is free, why not let me try to win it? and the opportunities afforded by
matrimony are endless; you are the sort of woman who would be faithful
to whatever you undertook, and when you saw me day by day living for
you, and you only, you'd grow to love me! Just think of the boys running
wild at Pont-y garvan in the holidays, and----By heaven, my head reels
with such a dream of happiness."
"I am a wretch, I know," said Katherine, the tears in her eyes, her
voice breaking; "but I know myself. I am a very lawless individual,
and--you had better not urge me."
"What is your objection to me? I haven't been a saint, but I have never
done anything I am ashamed of. Why do you shrink from life with me?
Come, cast your doubts to the winds, and give me your sweet self. There
is no one to love you as I do, and I swear your life shall be a summer
holiday."
His words struck her with sudden conviction. It was true there was no
one to love her as he did, and what a tower of refuge he would be to the
boys! Why should she not think of him? He had been very true to her. Why
should she not drive out the haunting image of the man who did not love
her by the living presence of the man who did? But, if she accepted him,
she must confess her crime; she could not keep such an act hidden from
the man who was ready to give his life to her. How awful this would be!
And he might reject her; then her fate would be decided for her. Lord de
Burgh saw that she hesitated, and pressed her eagerly for a decision.
"You deserve so much gratitude for your kindness, your faithfulness,
that--ah! do let me think," covering up her face with her hands. "It is
such a tremendous matter to decide."
"Yes, of course, you shall think as much as ever you like," cried De
Burgh, rapturously, telling himself "that she who deliberates is lost."
"Take your own time, only don't say _no_," ferociously. "Reflect on the
immense happiness you can bestow, the good you can do. Why do you
shiver, my darling? If you wish it, I'll go now this moment, and I'll
not show my face till--till the day after to-morrow, if you like."
"The day after to-morrow? that is but a short space to decide so
momentous a question."
"If you can't make up your mind in twenty-four hours, neither can you in
two hundred and forty. I don't want to hurry you, but you must have some
consideration for me; imagine my state of mind. Why, I'll be on the rack
till we meet again. I fancy a conscientious woman is about the cruellest
creature that walks! However, I'll stick to my promise: I will not
intrude on you till the day after to-morrow. Then I will come at eleven
o'clock for your answer; and, Katherine, my love, my life, it must be
'yes.'"
He took and kissed her hand more than once, then he went swiftly away.
The hours which succeeded were painfully agitated. Katherine felt that
De Burgh had every right to consider himself virtually accepted. She
liked him--yes, certainly she liked him, and might have loved him, but
for her irresistible, unreasonable, unmaidenly attachment to Errington.
If she made up her mind to marry him, that would fill her heart and
relieve it from the dull aching which had strained it so long; once a
wife, she would never give a thought save to her own husband, but,
before she reached the profound and death-like peace of such a position,
she must tell her story to De Burgh--and how would he take it? With all
his ruggedness, he had a keen and delicate sense of honor; still she
felt his passion for her would overcome all obstacles for the time, but
how would it be afterwards, when they had settled down to the routine of
every-day life? It would be a tremendous experiment, but she could not
let him enter on that close union in ignorance of the blot on her
scutcheon, and then the door would be closed on the earlier half of her
life, which had been so bitter-sweet. How little peace she had known
since her mother's death! how heavenly sweet her life had been when she
knew no deeper care than to shield that dear mother from anxiety and
trouble! and now there was no one belonging to her on whose wisdom and
strength she had a right to rely. Perhaps, after all, it might be better
to accept De Burgh, and end her uncertainties. Though by no means given
to weeping, Katherine could not recover composure until after the relief
of a copious flood of tears.
"Well, dear!" cried Mrs. Needham, when they were left together after
dinner, "I am just bursting with curiosity. What news have you for me?
and what have you been doing with yourself? You look ghastly, and I
positively believe you have been crying. What have you done? I can't
believe that you have refused Lord de Burgh--you couldn't be such a
madwoman! Why you might lead----"
"How do you know he gave me an opportunity?" interrupted Katherine, with
a faint smile.
"Don't talk like that, dear!" said Mrs. Needham, severely. "What would
bring Lord de Burgh here day after day but trying to win you? I have
been waiting for what I knew was inevitable; now, Katherine, tell me,
have you rejected him?"
"No, Mrs. Needham, I have asked him for time to reflect."
"Oh, that is all right," in a tone of satisfaction, "and only means a
turn of the rack while you can handle the screws; of course you'll
accept him when he comes again. After all, though there are plenty of
unhappy marriages, there is no joy so delightful as reciprocal
affection. I am sure I never saw a creature so glorified by love as
Angela Bradley; she told me at Mrs. Cochrane's she had a wonderful piece
of news for me, and, when I said perhaps I knew it, she beamed all over
and squeezed my hand as she whispered, "Perhaps you do!" I saw her
driving Errington in her pony-carriage afterwards, and meeting old
Captain Everard just then, he nodded after them and said, 'That's an
excellent arrangement; the wedding, I hear, is fixed for the
twenty-ninth of next month.' Now, I don't quite believe _that_; Angela
would certainly have told me, but I am sure it will come off soon. I am
glad for both their sakes."
"I am sure they will make a very happy couple, and I really believe I
shall follow their example."
"Quite right! The double event will make a sensation, my dear child: to
see _you_ happily and splendidly settled will be the greatest joy I have
known for years, and what will Colonel Ormonde say?"
"I neither know nor care; and, Mrs. Needham, if you don't mind, I will
go to bed. I have _such_ a headache."
The fateful morning found Katherine resolved and composed.
She would tell De Burgh everything, and, if her revelation did not
frighten him away, she would try to make him happy and to be happy
herself. It would be painful to tell him, but oh! nothing compared with
the agony of humiliation it cost her to prostrate herself morally before
Errington. Still she would be glad when the confession was over;
afterwards, feeling her destiny decided, she would be calmer and more
resigned. Resigned? what a term to apply to her acceptance of an honest
man's hearty affection; for, whatever De Burgh's life may have been, he
had said he had done nothing he was ashamed of. By some unconscious
impulse she dressed herself in black, and went down to the drawing-room
with her knitting, that she might be ready to receive the man who, an
hour later, might be her affianced husband.
On the stairs she met Ford, who informed her that Miss Trant was waiting
for her. Katherine felt glad of any interruption to her thoughts,
especially as she knew that the arrival of a visitor would be the signal
for Rachel's departure.
"I am so glad to see you," exclaimed Katherine, "but how is it you have
escaped so early?"
"I have been to the City to buy goods, and came round here to have a
peep at you, for Miss Payne told me yesterday of your trouble about the
boys."
"How early you are! why, it is scarcely eleven. Yes, (sit down for a
moment,) yes, I was dreadfully angry and upset;" and Katherine proceeded
to describe Cecil's letter, and her visit to the school.
"I wish you could take them away," said Rachel, thoughtfully.
"Perhaps, later on, I may be able, but I do not think there is any
chance that poor Charlie will be punished again. He is never really
naughty, but he has had a great shock."
"So have you, I imagine, to judge from your looks."
"Do I look shocked? And how have you been? It is so long since I was
able to go and see you."
"I have been, and am very well--very busy, and really succeeding. I have
opened a banking account, and feel very proud of my cheque-book. Do you
know that Mr. Newton has advanced me two hundred pounds? Just now it is
worth a thousand, it lifts me over the waiting time. I have sent in my
quarter's accounts, and in a month the payments will begin to come in.
I'll make a good business yet."
"I believe you will."
"What a pretty room!" said Rachel, looking round. "How nice it is to
know you are comfortable; by the time you are tired of your
secretaryship, I hope to have a nice little sum laid by for you."
"What a wonderful woman of business you are, Rachel," said Katherine,
admiringly.
"I ought to be! It is the only thing left to me, and I am thankful to
say I get more and more---" she stopped, for the door opened and Lord de
Burgh was announced.