THE WILL OF OTHERS
He let me go gently just as the old foot touched the top step of the
stairs, and Bridget Kelly, a little, fat, rosy, smiling woman, much
pleasanter of expression than her sister, Maureen, came into the
gallery.
"Why, bless me, Captain Cardew," she said, "who have you found? There is
a cabman at the door who would have it that he was waiting for a young
lady, although I told him no young lady had come in but only a
gentleman."
"Look and see who it is, Bridget," Captain Cardew answered her.
She looked at me in a momentary bewilderment. Then she flung her arms
about me.
"Why, it must be Miss Bawn," she cried. "Miss Bawn, and the image of her
Ladyship, yet more red in the cheeks than her Ladyship had, except maybe
when his Lordship was courting her. And where did you come from at all,
Miss Bawn? or did the sky open to let you fall through?"
"I came by the cab, Bridget. I am in Dublin on a visit with Miss
Champion. You remember Miss Champion?"
"Is it Miss Mary? Aye, troth, I do remember her. 'Tis mistress of this
house she ought to be by rights, leastways when his Lordship and her
Ladyship are gone to their rest; and long may it be before they go! So
you're here with Miss Mary, Miss Bawn, honey? And wasn't it the quarest
thing at all that you should walk into the house and find Captain
Anthony in it?"
"I was nearly running out of it," I said. "I was frightened of all the
empty rooms. The sound of the hall door shutting frightened me most of
all. I was about to run out of the house when I met Captain Cardew."
"Ah, sure, and you weren't frightened then?" the old woman said in a
coaxing way. "You wouldn't be frightened with Captain Anthony to take
care of you?--no lady would. Sure, dear, I've lived in it many a year my
lone self, and worse than myself I've never seen, though they do have
quare ould stories about it. I wouldn't be frightened, itself, if I did
see anything, only spake bouldly to it and ax it what was keepin' it
from its rest."
"My grandmother will be glad to hear you are well, Bridget. She told me
to be sure to see you. She sent you some presents. You will find a
parcel in the cab at the door."
"Her Ladyship is always kind and good, the Lord reward her! I think I'll
be gettin' down to see her and the Abbey and Maureen before the winter
comes. And now, Miss Bawn, you'll be seein' the house?"
I felt that it would be the greatest unkindness to refuse her, so we
made the journey of all the forty-two rooms, and in every one Bridget
had stories to tell, and she pointed to the pictures and the bric-a-brac
and the tapestries, and classified the furniture, like any guide-book.
I was not as excited about them as otherwise I might have been. Indeed,
I could think of nothing but that Anthony Cardew was beside me, and that
he had clasped me in his arms and kissed me and that there was no
gentleman on earth his equal.
I knew now how foolish it was about Theobald, and how impossible it was
that our brotherly and sisterly intimacy could ever have ripened into
love. Indeed, I felt years older than Theobald, and I said to myself
that never in any circumstances could I have cared for a boy like him.
As we went from room to room my heart felt as though it were on wings.
To see Captain Cardew, how polite and kind he was to old Bridget,
opening and closing the shutters for her and helping her up and down
steps, filled me with pride and joy. Was it possible that he could care
for a little ignorant girl like me, this _preux chevalier_, who had been
secretly a hero of romance to me as long as I remembered?
All the time as we went Bridget talked incessantly, although she became
scanter and scanter of breath. She had all sorts of reminiscences of my
grandfather and grandmother and of the great days in the house; but I
noticed that once when she mentioned Uncle Luke's name she coughed to
cover her mistake, and looked oddly from Captain Cardew to me as though
she wondered at finding us together.
And then we were taken down to the drawing-room which opened on the
right-hand side of the hall; and she would take off the covers of the
old French furniture to show us the beautiful old chintzes with which
they were upholstered. Also she would have us admire the Italian
mantelpieces inlaid with coloured marble, and the decoration of the
walls and ceilings which were very fine indeed, and the picture by
Angelica Kauffmann of the Lady St. Leger of that day as St. Cecilia
playing on her organ, and the other beautiful things which the rooms
contained. All the time she sighed over the years during which the house
had been closed up.
"Sure, it's time it was all forgotten," she said, "and that his Lordship
and her Ladyship came back to where many a one would welcome them. It
was fine, Miss Bawn, when the wax lights were lit in all the chandeliers
and the flashing of them was nearly as fine as the ladies' diamonds.
There used to be the height of fashion and beauty here but never one
that I'd compare to her Ladyship. Ah, sure, they were great days!"
"And who knows but they may come again?" said Anthony Cardew.
We were in the inner drawing-room by this time, and as it happened there
was a picture of Theobald as a little boy sitting on his pony, above the
fireplace.
A memory came back to me, out of the mists of childhood, of Theobald
sitting astride the little shaggy pony. I had quite forgotten it, but
now I remembered even the pony's name, which was Orson. And there was a
distracted person in a velvet coat, who must have been the artist; and
he implored Theobald to keep still, for he would touch up Orson and set
him prancing. It was on the lawn near the yew-hedge, and I was standing
by my grandmother, while Theobald on the pony was on the gravel-sweep. I
knew that he made the pony curvet because I liked it; and presently my
grandmother discovered that and took me away.
"Sure, the fine days will come back," the old woman assented hopefully,
"and there's the bonny boy'll bring them. Miss Bawn, dear, when is
Master Theobald coming home from the wars to marry you? Weren't you
promised from the cradle? Sure, old as I am, I'll dance at the wedding."
To my vexation I felt the colour rush to my face and I was conscious
that Captain Cardew was looking at me in a startled way.
I tried to say something to the effect that it was an arrangement which
we should probably never desire to carry out, but, forcing myself to
look at Captain Cardew, I was silenced by the cold and stern expression
of his face.
I saw him go up and examine the portrait, and then turn away. I looked
at him piteously. In spite of old Bridget's presence I had almost
courage to put my hand in his and say to him that he was the only man on
earth for me.
But he was holding the door open now for Bridget and me to pass through
and he would not meet my eyes. And the old woman was begging me to be
seated awhile till she made me a cup of tea and was inviting him
similarly. He refused, saying he had business elsewhere. And then he
took my hand and lifted it coldly to his lips; and shaking old Bridget
by the hand he was gone.
As the door slammed behind him, again the cold chill of the house struck
me for the sunshine had gone with him. I realized my own unreadiness too
late, and I could have followed him, calling out to him till he should
turn round and come back and hear me tell him that it was all
foolishness about Theobald and I loved only him. Indeed, I got so far as
to run out to the postern gate and look down the street.
But it was as lifeless as when I had come in. There was only my cab, and
the driver dozing on the box and the patient horse standing quietly
between the shafts to break the dead monotony of the lines of black
houses.