["Marriage is daily becoming a more commercial affair."
--_A Society Paper._]
DEAR FRED,--Your favour of the 3rd,
Has had my very best attention,
But yet I cannot, in a word,
Accept you on the terms you mention;
Indeed, wherever you may try,
According to the last advices
You'll meet, I fear, the same reply--
"It can't be done, at current prices!"
In vain an ancient name you show,
In vain for intellect are noted,
Blue blood and brains, you surely know,
At nominal amounts are quoted;
And then, I see, you're weak enough
To offer "love, sincere, unstudied,"--
Why, Sir, with such Quixotic stuff
The market's absolutely flooded!
But--every day this fact confirms--
The time is over for romances,
And whether we can come to terms
Depends alone on your finances.
So, would you think me over-bold
If I, with deference, requested
A statement of what funds you hold?
In what securities invested?
For, candidly, in such affairs
A speedy bid your only chance is,
A boom in Yankee millionnaires
May soon result in marked advances;
With you I'd willingly be wed,
To like you well enough I'm able,
But first submit your bank-book, FRED,
To your (perhaps) devoted MABEL!
* * * * *