“MY DEAREST MAMAN,
“My father has just arrived in Geneva, and intends to start for
Russia to-morrow with me. I already hear your reproaches; but
what can I do?
“Forgive your loving son, and don’t think him ungrateful; for I
am ready to put my head in the fire if that would be any good
to you.
“But what would become of me if I did not obey my father’s
orders? Don’t be afraid; you will always have the whole of my
filial love.
“How cruel it is to tear me in this fashion from my darling
mother! But what can be done? If you had stayed at Coligny, and
if you had listened to my advice, this would not have happened.
“I am hurried. Be comforted; you shall soon have news of me,
and believe me always the most loving of your sons.
“EDWARD STERNBERG.”
What I felt on reading this was not grief; it was despair. For several
days I gave myself up completely to the most acute anguish; at times I
wanted to start for Russia; at others I resolved to let myself die.
But at last real maternal love triumphed over affliction, and I realized
that it was necessary for the good of my children both to go on living
and to remain in France.
Taking fresh courage, I formed the unshakable resolution to suffer and
face everything, that I might gain a victory to the advantage and honour
of those who were so dear to me in this world.