The piece was introduced with a grand nuptial procession, in which the

master displayed the powers of his voice by uttering a variety of the

most opposite tones in the whole gamut of the human voice; sometimes

speaking, sometimes squeaking like a hurt child, sometimes huzzaing as a

man, a woman, or a child; sometimes neighing like a horse, and sometimes

interspersing it with other such sounds as commonly occur in crowds, in

such a manner as astonished me: while the concomitant action of the

images, grotesque beyond measure, kept up the laugh; horses kicking and

throwing their riders, asses biting those near them, and kicking those

behind them, who retire limping in the most ridiculous manner; while

their great standing character in all pieces; KARA-GHUSE (the same as

our Punch), raised a general roar of obstreperous mirth even from the

Turks, with his whimsical action, of which I must say that, though

nonsensical, though indecent, and sometimes even disgusting, it was on

the whole the most finished composition of low ribaldry and fun that I

ever beheld.

When they come before the Cadi, he is seated in his divan of justice;

but as soon as the complaint is opened and answered, he rises and comes

forward between the contending parties: here he turns to one and demands

in a terrific tone what he has to say, while the other puts cash in his

hand behind, and in proportion as the cash is counted in, increases the

terror of his voice; he then pockets the money, and again turns to the

other, and demands what he has to offer, while in like manner he

receives the bribes from his adversary and puts it in an opposite

pocket: this alternate application lasts till the purses of both are

exhausted, when, giving a great groan, he retires on one side to reckon

the money of each from a pocket he has on either side, one called

plaintiff, and the other defendant; when balancing them, he finds

plaintiff better by one asper (or three-halfpence) than defendant, and

pronounces his judgment accordingly. The defendant appeals to the

Bashaw; they go before him: KARA-GHUSE (Punch) however, takes the

defendant aside, and in a dialogue, which my friend assured me was

pointed, witty, and bitterly satirical, developes to him the whole

system of magistratical injustice, advises him to bribe the Bashaw, and,

declaring his zeal for all young people fond of amorous enjoyment (which

he is at some pains to enlarge upon to the excess of indelicacy), offers

him the aid of his purse. The advice is followed; the bribe is accepted;

the Cadi’s decree is reversed, and himself disgraced, and the mob at

once hustle him and bear the Hullah home to his bride with clamours of

joy. Here again the master shewed his extraordinary powers, giving not

only, as before, distinct and opposite tones of voice, but huddling a

number of different sounds with such skill and rapidity together, that

it was scarcely possible to resist the persuasion that they were the

issue of a large and tumultuous crowd of men and animals. With this

extravagant _melange_ the curtain dropped, and the performance ended.

Returning home we conversed together on the subject of the piece, which

I confess I could not get out of my head for some time. My friend

explained to me, as well as he could recollect, a great part of the

dialogue, and assured me, that the freedom of speech of Monsieur

KARA-GHUSE had from time to time created a great deal of uneasiness, not

only to private offending individuals, but to the magistracy itself—that

no offender, however intrenched behind power, or enshrined in rank,

could escape him—that Bashaws, Cadi’s, nay the Janissaries themselves,

were often made the sport of his fury; that he was not more restrained

in the effusions of obscenity which he uttered, than in his satire; that

he was always well received and applauded, even venerated (as we

venerate the liberty of the press) as a bold teller of truth, who with

little mischief does a great deal of good, and often rouses the

lethargic public mind to a sense of public dangers and injuries. He

added, that in some cases the Magistrate had been obliged to interfere;

and the Bashaw himself was seriously called upon at times to stop the

licentious tongue of this champion of Freedom, KARA-GHUSE.

“Well then,” said I, “it appears upon the whole that Monsieur KARA-GHUSE

is a very great blackguard, but a very witty, and a very honest one.”

“You have just hit it,” said he; and if Master Kara-ghuse was to take

such liberties in France, Spain, Portugal, or Germany, all his wit and

honesty would not save him from punishment. In England you do not want

him; every man there is a KARA-GHUSE, and every newspaper a puppet-shew.

“And yet,” returned I, “we complain sadly of want of liberty!”

“That is natural,” returned my sagacious Frenchman, “perfectly natural.

Liberty is like money; the more we have of it, the more covetous we

grow.”

“Very true, Monsieur,” said I, pleased with his compliment to our happy

Constitution, and to clinch his observation, gave a Latin quotation,

which when a child I got out of Lilly’s Grammar, “Crescit amor nummi,

quantum ipsa pecunia crescit;” and then changing nummus for libertas,

“Crescit amor libertatis, quantum ipsa libertas crescit.”

“’Tis very well, Monsieur,” said he; “and to carry on your allusion, may

we not say, that they who do not know when they have enough, are as

dangerously wrong in the one case, as those who say we have too much,

are in the other? The English complaining of the want of liberty,

reminds me of the coffee-house orator’s story of Cassem, who, wallowing

in wealth, lost it all in the wild pursuit of more.—I hope however that

they never will, like him, lose their stock in vain endeavours to

increase it.”

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LETTER XXXV.

-------------------------------------------

While I was, in the manner I have already mentioned, endeavouring to

pass away the time as cheerfully as possible, till a caravan was formed,

or Company’s dispatches were coming over land, of which I might avail

myself; I found my situation in the house of Mr. ——- growing extremely

critical. That gentleman, of whose good sense, and truly excellent

disposition, I had too manifold proofs to call them in question, had,

though fallen into the vale of years, married his Lady at a very tender

age. She was then young, beautiful, full of sensibility, and gifted with

such natural endowments both of mind and person, accompanied with all

those accomplishments which helped to dress them to advantage, that she

might well be acquitted of vanity, even though fancy suggested to her

she was fit to grace and confer happiness on a younger bed; while

reflection on the obvious disparity of the match (which the cool temper

of satiety possibly suggested to him) might perhaps have alarmed his

mind to circumstances of probable danger, that, before wedlock, were all

hid behind the deceptive veil of passion. Whether these were the private

sentiments that influenced both or either of them, I cannot presume to

determine, though I think it probable: for I was not long in the house

till I plainly perceived they were on a very bad footing with each

other, and in short that disagreement was become habitual to them. At

first, that is to say, for a few days after my becoming an inmate of

their house, decency enforced concealment, and the ebullitions of

peevishness were stifled by the dictates of prudence: but the

animosities of the connubial state are those which of all others are the

most impatient under controul; and as time, by producing familiarity,

relaxed restraint, the pent-up passions began to force their way, and

open bikering, took place in my presence.

It is but barely doing justice to myself to say, that I felt the most

poignant concern at seeing a couple, each so perfectly amiable in all

other respects, blasting the hours that should be given to harmony and

love, in jarring, reproach, and recrimination; and I would have given

all I was worth that I had never had occasion to esteem them so much, or

that I could give them that peace which seemed to have flown them for

ever. Fain would I cast a veil over the whole transaction; fain would I

bury it, even from myself, in oblivion: but it has been made by my

enemies the subject of triumphant slander; and to do justice to myself,

and disclaim the extent of guilt which they would impute to me, I am

reluctantly obliged to avow the share I had, and declare how the matter

really stood. I must speak the truth, and hope you will not conceive

that I designedly lean too heavily upon any one, to ease myself of my

share of the load.

Whatever domestic uneasiness may subsist between a married pair, the

man, if prudent, will endeavour to conceal it; and the woman, if truly

virtuous, will take care to do so: should great disparity of age (as in

the present instance) be the case, the Lady is more particularly bound

to conceal any uneasiness, lest it should be attributed to that cause

which people are in such cases too prone to suspect, dislike to her

husband; and before young men, above all, she should be most exemplary,

as she must well know that their natural vanity, combined with the

leading idea of her aversion and infidelity to her husband, suggest

ideas to them from whence their warm imaginations draw inferences of a

nature too pleasing to be parted with, and too probable not to be put in

practice, or at least attempted. Here then a woman at once lays herself

fairly open to the assaults of illicit love. I think it will not be

denied, that the woman who promulgates the disagreements between her and

her husband, particularly if she suffers a young man to be privy to it,

is either extremely ignorant, or intentionally vicious, or both.

That the Lady I allude to may in some respect be acquitted of this

imputation, I must tell you, that she was only eighteen years of age;

her tender, inexperienced mind had not yet arrived to that maturity

which gives sound judgment; and though of good natural talents, highly

cultivated (for she spoke fluently English, French, Italian, Arabic,

Persian, and the Greek and Turkish languages), she yet was simple,

innocent, uninformed in the ways of the world, and incapable of

reasoning from causes up to consequences. But unfortunately that

simplicity is attended with as much mischief, though not guilt, as the

wilful misconduct of the more experienced; it has the same baleful

effects with the hearers, inspires the same confidence, emboldens with

the same hopes, and leads to the same pernicious practices.

I have already mentioned, and will now remind you, that I was then

young. Perhaps it was owing to a congeniality pointed out by our age,

perhaps to a compassionate politeness amounting to tenderness, which I

always disclosed on those unhappy occasions, joined perhaps to the

ardent look of youth kindled by the imaginations to which this imprudent

conduct insensibly gave birth, that the Lady thought proper to take the

very hazardous step of making a confidant of a young man and a

soldier—and revealing to me the whole tale of her grievances, with a

pathetic eloquence, that would have made an impression upon a much less

susceptible heart than mine. I declare it most solemnly, that though

this extraordinary mark of confidence and esteem communicated to my

heart strong sensations of unjustifiable pleasure; I so far got the

better of myself at first, as to receive the whole with the same

appearance of tranquillity, as if I had been only a confidential female

friend. I pitied, it is true;—I expressed my pity;—I advised, not

treacherously but faithfully;—I said such things as occurred to me to be

most likely to assuage and extinguish the flame of discord, and lead to

an amicable adjustment; and I parted for that time with her to go to a

self-approving pillow, where, while my fancy was inflamed and tickled by

the flattering mark of regard shewn me by so all-accomplished a person,

I had the soothing delightful consciousness of having, as far as I was

able, done my duty, and escaped the corroding reflection of having

violated the rights of hospitality.

Not an opportunity however afterwards offered, that the same unhappy

point was not the subject of discussion, and unfortunately those

opportunities but too frequently occurred; till at length we began to

feel that they were the sweetest minutes of our lives, and were sought

for with industrious avidity by both of us. No human resolution was

sufficient to withstand such an unlucky concurrence of circumstances:

from lamenting the grievances, we wished to remove them, from wishing we

proceeded to consider the means, and when we had got that length, the

flight was not far to the extreme end—the execution of it. My passions

hurried me before them, my expressions grew gradually more and more

unguarded, our conversation became more interesting and warm; and though

I felt and struggled to be guided by the strict principles of honour,

and formed a thousand resolutions not to transgress the laws of

hospitality, by injuring the man who had treated me with such kindness,

the struggle became too severe for me—the desire of pleasing a lovely

woman, who had reposed such unbounded confidence in me, and who seemed

to expect and require of me to alleviate her misery, at length bore down

all the oppositions suggested by reason and principle, and I agreed to

become the instrument of her removal from this unhappy situation. We

fell—but not intirely. There is one length to which no earthly

consideration—no allurement however dazzling could tempt me—it is now

the most cordial consolation to my mind; I never suffered myself to

think of trespassing on the decorum of his house, nor did we in any

single instance carry our intercourse to a direct violation of his bed.

Though the transports of youthful passion hurried us into conversations

and reflections on the subject of her determination to be separated from

her husband, yet that passion was of too delicate a kind to sink into

the brutal sordid indulgence of dishonourable stolen embraces. She

wished for that separation, rather as a subterfuge from incessant

diurnal misery, than as a prelude to any vicious or illicit enjoyment;

and we looked with pleasure to the event, but we looked no further.

It is thus that, in the down-hill path of vice, we are hurried on step

by step, fondly imagining that each successive object, which bounds our

sight, will stop our headlong career; while alas! every step we advance

gives additional rapidity to our descent: like the centripetal force of

a projectile, our pace increases with uniformly accelerated motion—till

disdaining all controul, and breaking down every impediment that reason,

morality, or honour throw in the way to rescue us or retard our ruin, we

precipitate unexpectedly into the last gulph of vice and infamy.

Fortunately, however, an accident intervened in the present case, which

arrested our progress down this hideous descent, and reserved us both I

hope to conviction of our folly, and repentance of our error. And I have

the consolation to reflect, that out of such a host of dangers and

temptations as I was beset with, I have escaped without the actual

perpetration of a deed, which would, had it happened, in all probability

have embittered my life.

While we hugged ourselves in the security and secrecy of expressing our

genuine sentiments, her husband discovered our wishes, and all at once

took the necessary measures for preventing them. So that, overwhelmed

with grief and shame, I directly formed the resolution to leave Aleppo,

and proceed in the best manner I could on my destination.

Thus you see, my dear Frederick, was your father, by failing to resist

the first impressions of an unlawful and dishonourable passion,

insensibly led to the very brink of a precipice, the bare remembrance of

which now makes him shudder with horror. The story, by means unnecessary

for me to mention, took wind. The folly of some, the malice of others,

and the unaccountable propensity to falsehood of more, trumpeted it

about with many exaggerations to my injury, and I was held up as the

deliberate seducer of innocence: but the whole transaction is exactly as

I have stated it; and the disagreements previous to my arrival at

Aleppo, which, in telling the story, they purposely left out, were of

such public notoriety, that every European, even the Consul himself, was

fully acquainted with them. This is the consequence of a deviation from

the strict rule of right. Treasure it up in your mind, my child, never

to be forgotten; and let it operate as a caution to you, how you

entangle yourself in the snares of women: recollect that my escape was

singularly fortunate, and the mere effect of accident; and flatter not

yourself, that because accident served in one case, it will in another.

Providence has, for the wisest of purposes, implanted in our nature a

fondness for the fair sex; and so long as it is used prudently and

virtuously, it constitutes the first happiness of life; but if on the

contrary, it stimulates us to excess, impels to injure our

fellow-creature, or break in upon the repose of a family; it is our

reproach, our shame, our curse, and very frequently our utter and

irremediable ruin; add to this, that there is in the general character

of women, a capriciousness, a levity, and a vanity, under the influence

of which they sport with men, only to display their power, and evince

the force of their charms, which makes the cultivation of their good

graces in any way hazardous. To adopt the idea of an old epigram—“There

is no living with them, nor without them.”

As your happiness, my dear boy, is the first object of my life, my

efforts shall be turned to the guiding of your greener years from any

premature impressions; and when reason and matured age fit you for the

cultivation and enjoyment of female society, be it mine to direct your

steps away from that class, who think rank a sufficient sanction for

vice, who stare in all the bronze of aristocratic assurance, under a

load of obloquy, beneath which the poorest peasant’s wife would sink;

who think that wealth and rank confer a right to commit excesses that

would degrade the meanest of the canaille; and felicitate themselves

with the reflection, that, under the protection of family or an infamous

husband, they may indulge in enormities, for which the lowest of their

sex are beating hemp in Bridewell.

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LETTER XXXVI.

-------------------------------------------

The discovery to which I alluded in my last letter, surprised and

grieved me very much; and indeed it astonished me the more, from the

manner in which it was communicated.

One day I received a polite message from the British Consul, saying, he

wished to speak to me as soon as possible, upon a business of great

consequence. I thought at first, that it might be some plan for my

proceeding on my journey—perhaps Company’s dispatches that had arrived

to go over land; and at intervals, something like apprehensions of the

true motive of his sending for me flew across my mind. I however went to

him, when, after some little introductory conversation, he told me, that

my host Mr. ——- had been with him that morning, laying before him a

complaint of a most extraordinary and serious nature, of which, as it

immediately concerned me, he thought himself bound to inform me, in

order that I might either contradict so gross a calumny if it were

untrue, or find means to avoid the obviously necessary result if founded

in fact.

He then proceeded to relate to me, that Mr. ——- had informed him of a

conspiracy having been meditated against his peace and honour, between

his wife and the English gentleman whom he had entertained in his house;

that their plan was nothing less than an elopement, and that he did not

know how soon it might be carried into execution, if not timely

prevented; and finally, that he had demanded the assistance of the

Consul and his interest with the Turkish magistrate to prevent it, by

granting him an armed force for the protection of his house.

I was much surprised to find that conversations so very guarded as ours

were discovered, and more so that the aggrieved person did not think

proper to speak to myself, and charge me in person with the offence;

never reflecting the while, that all my ideas were military, and his

merely commercial: I was also much at a loss to conjecture how he came

to make the discovery—but this I found afterwards he owed to a female

servant, who had been improvidently intrusted by her mistress with the

secret.

Finding, however, that by whatever means he became acquainted with the

affair, it was a certain fact that he was apprised of it, I directly

acknowledged the whole truth with the utmost candour to the Consul; told

him the affair step by step as it arose, assuring him (which I really

thought to be the case) that pity for the Lady’s deplorable situation

made me listen to such a measure; and that unlawful passion had so

little to do with it, that in all our private conferences we had never

transgressed the limits of purity; and that her person was, at least

respecting me, and I firmly believed all mankind, spotless and

inviolate. I added, that great allowances were to be made for a young

creature barely eighteen years of age, consigned by the wickedness of

avaricious parents to the embraces of a man of sixty-five; who, amiable

and worthy though he was, in social intercourse with the world (which I

knew him to be), was yet in the most indispensable point of connubial

felicity so utterly defective, as necessarily to create disgust and

abhorrence in a youthful mind. I remarked to him, that, in the forming

of laws, it as plainly appeared on their face, who made them amongst the

English, as it does on the face of the Gentoo laws, that they were made

by the Bramins: for, as by the latter the penalty of a few puns[2] of

couries (not value a shilling) is annexed to the perpetration of a

crime, for which those of another class lose their lives; so, among us,

it appears that our laws are made by the aged, the decrepid, the

sensual, and the rich. Else it could never happen that there were in the

same code, laws to punish marriage between the young and vigorous, and

enable the brutality of a parent to take its full scope, and consign, as

in the present instance, youth, beauty, health, and every personal

attraction, to the arms of age, infirmity, and impotence. And I

concluded by saying, that all parties aiding in such an unnatural

confederacy should be punished.

Footnote 2:

Couries, a kind of small shells used in India, as a circulating medium

in place of coin, in value much below the smallest copper coin—a Pun

is a certain number of them.

The Consul fairly acknowledged there was too much truth in what I had

said; but remarked withal, that it was rather a hazardous experiment,

and he was sure it would be an endless one, to correct all the abuses to

which the fallibility of man, and his incompetency to form any thing

perfect, necessarily left society and their laws liable—that the law was

written, and it was the duty of every individual to obey it—and that in

cases of adultery, the offence could be justified on no solid grounds

whatever, for, independent of the feelings of the husband, which perhaps

were more poignant in old age than youth, the injury to his family was

not to be got over, in probably giving to him an heir no way a-kin to

him. “It would be right I think,” said he, “to stop such

disproportionate matches; yet, once made, they should be as religiously

observed inviolate as those of love, among which we almost as

frequently, as in those of compulsion, see instances of infidelity. If

you doubt this,” said he, “read the records of Doctors’ Commons.”

I agreed to the justice of what he said, at the same time assured him,

that my intentions went no farther than wishing the Lady to be rescued

from her thraldom, which I told him was dreadful.—“I am sure,” said the

Consul, “that Mr. Campbell thinks so, because I am convinced he would

not otherwise say so. But may not,” said he, smiling, “may not Mr. C.

have deceived himself? these are things in which the passions are

strangely apt to hoodwink the understanding. However,” continued he,

breaking off pleasantly, “I must give you all the comfort that truth

will allow me to do: I am sure that the poor Lady is condemned to great

wretchedness; partly from my own observation, partly from public report,

and partly from her own mouth: for you must know she has several times

complained to me of her husband’s peevishness and tyranny; and even

besought me to use my influence and authority to relieve her from her

misery. Mr. ————,” continued he, “is a man whom on all other accounts I

esteem, and value highly. In this instance he has erred, and I cannot

pity him, even though he suffers all the torments of jealousy: and as

there are laws for punishing with death premature intercourse with the

sex, I cannot see, any more than you, why the sacrificing youth to

extreme old age should not be equally punished, for I am sure it is

equally unnatural, and still more injurious to a State. These are my

sentiments,” continued he; “but let not this declaration induce you to

think that I the less disapprove of your intermeddling. You have allowed

me the privilege of a friend, and I will not suffer it to be made an

empty one. You were more culpable than many young men would be; first,

because you are married, and should, upon the common principle of doing

as you would be done by, have refrained; and next, because you were

enjoying the sweets of hospitality in his house, and should have dashed

from his lips, rather than held to them, the deepest cup of bitterness.”

“But, my dear sir,” said I, “I do not attempt to justify—I only

endeavour to mitigate the matter, and you will recollect that the very

circumstance which in one point of view aggravates, in another

alleviates the fault: the living in his house afforded those interviews,

and exposed me to those temptations under which I was near sinking—I

should never have sought them: but he must be more or less than man,

that could have resisted them; and though I have a high sense of Mr.

Consul’s strict honour and virtue, as well as prudence, he must excuse

me, though I doubt whether he could himself have resisted so long and so

effectually as I did. I am sure there are many who will censure, that

could not.”

The Consul smiled, and, turning the discourse from its direct line,

observed, that it was absolutely necessary I should desist, else he

would be obliged to use his influence and power to protect Mr. ——-.

In answer to this, I gave him my honour in the first place, that I would

proceed no farther in the business; and that, on the contrary, I was

determined to set out upon my journey to India directly, if means could

be contrived for my conveyance; adding, that I should consider it as a

great favour, in addition to those I had already received at his hands,

if he would contrive some means to set me forward in my route.

To this he answered, that as the making up of a caravan would be

extravagantly expensive, he knew no means that were not attended with

certain hardship and eventual danger; but finding me determined at

almost any danger or hazard to set off, he proposed to send for a man

who knew every resource in that way, and when he came would talk farther

on the business; and in the mean time, recommended great circumspection

to me while I continued at Mr. ————’s house, to which I very solemnly

pledged my word.

Being now constrained by every consideration, as well of prudence and

decency as of inclination, to leave Aleppo immediately: I determined

that no common impediments should stop me, and waited with impatience

the arrival of the person on whom the Consul rested his hopes of

dispatching me.

He came in the evening, and after a conference with the Consul, he

introduced him to me, and acquainted me that he was a Tartar, and one of

the vast number of that description who are employed by the Turkish

State in carrying dispatches from Court to the various Viceroys and

Bashaws, and interchangably between them again; that they were men on

whose fidelity the utmost reliance could be had; and that this man, who

had an excellent character, had agreed to take me to Bagdad, provided I

would submit to the disguise of a Tartar.

The agreement between us I entirely submitted to the discretion of the

Consul, who had the goodness to settle it thus:—The Tartar was to

deliver me safe at Bagdad; to supply me and my servant, who acted as

interpreter, with an ample sufficiency of provisions and horses on the

road; to exchange my horse for me as often as I pleased, and to go at

such rate, whether faster or slower, as I thought proper: for this he

was to receive one hundred pounds; and I further promised, as an

encouragement to him, that if he acted to my satisfaction, I would, on

our arrival at Bagdad, add a douceur of twenty pounds.

The next day he came, and I had a distinct view of this my new fellow

traveller and supposed master, for in several places I was to pass for

his slave. He was one of those striking _character_ figures that a

painter would like to take a sketch of—and methought Tartar was written

legibly in every lineament of his countenance and person.—He was tall,

muscular and bony—his figure bespoke great hardihood, strength and

activity—nor could the trowsers which he wore conceal the Herculean

texture of his limbs—his shoulders were expanded to an enormous

breadth—he was unincumbered with flesh, or indeed rather extremely

lean—his forehead, though partly concealed beneath his turban, was very

high—his nose large, hooked, sharp, and prominent—a pair of small,

fierce, black, penetrating eyes, barely separated by the nose, and a

formidable pair of mustachios, which he carefully sleeked with pomatum

into a point resembling an awl-blade, and which moved like the whiskers

of a purring cat, with every word he spoke, gave a whimsical ferocity to

the countenance, beyond the reach of description, and rendered him

altogether as discouraging a confidential friend, as ever a Christian

trusted his life to since Mahomet first set up the trade of a prophet.

He surveyed me with great attention—opened his mouth two or three times

like a gasping pike, as if to speak—stroaked his whiskers as often—and

at last pronounced that he would undertake to conduct me; adding, in

allusion to my black hair and dark complexion, that I looked more like a

native, than any Frank he had ever seen. He ordered me to cut my hair

quite short, to provide myself with a Tartar dress and cap, in the

fashion of his own; and saying he would call on me in proper time,

departed.

Thus equipped, we set out, not without great pain and regret on my part;

pain at leaving a most beautiful young woman, whom I pitied and

esteemed, subject to the resentment of a husband, at once jealous from

nature, peevish from habit, and enraged from her open and unequivocal

demonstrations of hatred; and regret at having been betrayed by

situation into such a very serious dilemma.

After my departure from Aleppo, this affair was represented in a variety

of unfavourable lights to the different new comers from England; and as

a story is that commodity which of all others honest people do not love

to steal any thing from, in its passage through their hands, it found

its way in various forms (none of them however tending to soften it) to

many of my friends and connections, those from whom of all others I

wished to conceal it. Labouring under such calumnies, it cannot be

considered as a violation of decorum, or unnecessary infraction upon

delicacy, if I state the truth, in order, though I cannot acquit myself

of censurable conduct, at least not silently to submit to unlimited

calumny, and charges of crimes which I hope I have too much honour and

integrity to commit.

I must add, that previous to my departure the Consul did every thing

that it was possible for him to do, conducive to my safety and

accommodation on the road, which as we were obliged to go to the city of

Diarbeker, a great length out of our way, he observed would be long,

dreary, fatiguing, and hazardous; he procured me from others, and gave

me himself, a number of letters, and at parting desired me to comfort

myself with the reflection, that when I arrived at my journey’s end, I

should have to boast, that I went to India by a route never travelled by

any European before.

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LETTER XXXVII.

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As I became familiarised to my Tartar guide, I found his character

disclose much better traits than his first appearance bespoke, and I

began insensibly to think him a very entertaining fellow: perceiving

that I was very low spirited and thoughtful, he exhibited manifest marks

of compassion; and taking it into his head that I was actually removed

for ever from my friends and my family, he spoke in a style of regret

and feeling, that did great honour to his heart: and to say the truth,

he did every thing in his power to alleviate my feelings, conversing

with me, either by means of the interpreter, or in broken lingua franca;

supplying all my wants cheerfully and abundantly; changing horses with

me as often as I pleased, and going slow or galloping forward just as

best suited my inclination or humour.

The first object he seemed to have in view on our journey, was to

impress me with a notion of his consequence and authority, as a

messenger belonging to the Sultan. As all those men are employed by the

first magistrates in the country, and are, as it were, the links of

communication between them, they think themselves of great importance in

the State; while the great men whose business they are employed in, make

them feel the weight of authority, and treat them with the greatest

contempt: hence they become habitually servile to their superiors, and

by natural consequence insolent and overbearing to their inferiors, or

those who being in their power they conceive to be so. As carriers of

dispatches, their power and authority wherever they go is in some points

undisputed; and they can compel a supply of provisions, horses, and

attendants, where-ever it suits their occasions; nor dare any man resist

their right to take the horse from under him to proceed on the Emperor’s

business, be the owner’s occasion ever so pressing.

My feelings, which I can tell you were altogether of the most unpleasant

kind, served as a stimulus to my mind, and increased my anxiety to get

forward; I therefore pushed on as fast as the horses, which were in

general excellent, could carry me: and as we halted at a number of

stages to get fresh horses and provisions, my Tartar guide had frequent

opportunities of indulging his self-importance, and displaying his great

authority and power. As soon as he stopped at a caravansera, he

immediately called lustily about him in the name of the Sultan,

demanding with an imperious and menacing tone of voice, fresh horses,

victuals, &c., on the instant. The terror of this great man operated

like magic; nothing could exceed the activity of the men, the briskness

of the women, and the terror of the children; for the caravanseras are

continually attended by numbers of the very lowest classes of the

people; but no quickness of preparation, no effort or industry could

satisfy my gentleman; he would shew me his power in a still more

striking point of view, and fall belabouring them with his whip, and

kicking them with all his might. I must confess I was much hurt at this

extravagant abuse of upstart power, and was two or three times on the

point of interfering; but fortunately, recollected that it would neither

be in character, nor have any good effect, and that if I presumed to

speak, my guide would be obliged in my defence to give me a flogging in

order to prevent suspicion.

This inconsiderate tyranny and cruelty, I had afterwards reason to

believe, was by no means a part of his natural disposition; but vanity,

to which so many among us in Europe fall victims, urged him to excesses,

which I dare say his heart privately condemned.

It was on the fifth or sixth day (I cannot precisely say which) after

our leaving Aleppo, that we got to the city of Diarbeker, the capital of

the province of that name, having passed over an extent of country of

between three and four hundred miles, most of it blessed with the

greatest fertility, producing, in the few cultivated parts, grain,

fruits of various kinds, and silk in great variety and abundance, and

abounding with as rich pastures as I ever beheld, covered with numerous

herds and flocks. The air was charmingly temperate in the day-time, but,

to my feeling, extremely cold at night.

Yet notwithstanding the extreme fertility of this country, the bad

administration of government, conspiring with the indolence of the

inhabitants, leaves it unpopulous and uncultivated. Diarbeker, proper,

called also Mesopotamia, from its lying between the two famous rivers

Tigris and Euphrates, and by Moses called PADAN ARAM, that is to

say—“The fruitful Syria;” abounds with corn, wine, oil, fruits, and all

the necessaries of life. It is supposed to be the seat of the Earthly

Paradise, and all Geographers agree that it was there the descendants of

Noah first settled after the flood.

Insignificant as those circumstances may appear to mere calculators of

profit and loss, it cannot be denied that they have a powerful and

pleasing effect on the refined imagination. To be treading that ground

where Abraham trod; where Nahor the father of Rebecca lived; and where

Laban, to whom Jacob fled to avoid his brother Esau’s resentment, and

whom he served fourteen years for the love he bore to Rachel, was to me

a circumstance productive of delightful sensations. How finely has that

Giant of the Pen, Johnson, justified those sensations in his Tour to the

Highlands of Scotland and Western Islands;—describing his emotions on

visiting the famous Island of Iona, or Colombkill, he says—“We were now

treading that illustrious Island which was once the luminary of the

Caledonian regions, whence savage clans and roving barbarians derived

the benefits of knowledge, and blessings of religion. To abstract the

mind from all local emotion, would be impossible if it were endeavoured,

and would be foolish if it were possible. Whatever withdraws us from the

power of our senses—whatever makes the past, the distant, or the future,

predominate over the present, advances us in the dignity of thinking

beings. Far from me, and from my friends, be such frigid philosophy, as

may conduct us indifferent and unmoved over any ground which has been

dignified by wisdom, bravery, or virtue!—that man is little to be envied

whose patriotism would not gain force upon the Plain of Marathon, or

whose piety would not grow warmer among the ruins of Iona.”

The city of Diarbeker itself is situated in a delightful plain on the

banks of the river Tigris, and nearly at its head; it is one of the

richest, most trading, strong, and populous cities in Asiatic Turkey;

and is adorned with many piazzas and market places in the Turkish style,

and a large magnificent Mosque, formerly a Christian church; for

Christianity flourished over this country so late as the sixth century.

There is even now a sect, whose Patriarch still resides here: and they

shew on the road near the town, a chapel where the holy man Job is said

to be buried. This city is supplied amply with water by a canal cut from

the Tigris, and has many caravanseras on both sides of the river.

Few countries in the world exceed that about this city for natural

richness and beauty:—the bread and wine are excellent—the fruit beyond

conception delicious—and my friend the Tartar took care, under pretence

of supercilious _hauteur_, to tear in pieces a couple of fowls, and hand

to me now a leg, now a wing, till I made the most delicious repast I

ever remember to have eat in my life.

It is computed that there are resident in this city no less than twenty

thousand Christian inhabitants, some of whom are of the Church of

Rome;—and perhaps it is owing to that mixture, that the fair sex have

more freedom, and the men more politeness and affability, than those of

any other city in the empire:—the chief business there, is making that

fine leather commonly called Turkey leather.

Figure to yourself, my dear FREDERICK, my Tartar guide, who was an

admirable actor, sitting at a caravansera in state at his dinner,

devouring excellent fowls, choice pillaws, and delicious fruit, in as

great pomp as a Bashaw; and in order to keep up the semblance of

authority over me, to favour my disguise, handing to me, who sat at

humble distance, a part of his provisions.—You may form to yourself an

idea of the scene; but all the efforts of imagination must fall short of

the manner, the figure, the words, the looks, and the actions of the

Tartar; sometimes affecting contemptuous pity, sometimes supercilious

arrogance; sometimes brutal sternness, and sometimes the gentle

blandishments of conscious superiority; and all in such a masterly style

of performance, that I doubt whether Garrick himself, with all his

powers of countenance, could outdo him. Critical though my situation

was, and much as I was harassed with the corrosions of mental pain, the

extravagant action and ludicrous pomposity of this man frequently

overbore my prudence, and compelled me to laugh incontinently and

loudly;—on all such occasions he would put his hands a-kimbo, draw up

his eye-brows to his turban, screw down the corners of his mouth in the

most rueful manner, and give a loud whew! with his eyes fixed in a stare

at me, till entirely overcome with laughter, and ready to sink under it,

I clapped my face between my hands, and, as well as I could, bowed in

token of sorrow and submission; when threatening me vehemently, and at

the same time uttering a lamentable expression of doubt that he was

afraid he had had an idiot imposed on him, he would bustle about, direct

the horses to be got ready, and order me to get on horseback, with many

denunciations of severe treatment, and a thousand flourishes of his whip

over my head.

As I have rode along musing upon the contemptible stratagems to which I

was reduced, in order to get through this country, for no other reason

but because I was a Christian, I could not help reflecting with sorrow

on the melancholy effects of superstition, and regretting that that

place, which in the times of primitive simplicity was called the

Terrestrial Paradise; that place where GOD first planted Man after the

Flood; where the god-like Abraham and the holy Job breathed the pure air

of piety and simplicity; that place which from all those circumstances

ought to be considered above all others as the universal inheritance of

mankind, should now be cut off from all but a horde of senseless bigots,

barbarous fanatics, and inflexible tyrants. And I could not help

considering with melancholy concern, the blindness and infatuation of

men, who, less earnest to accommodate themselves than injure others,

shut out their fellow-creatures from that which they themselves will not

use, and, while they suffer millions of the richest acres in the

universe to be untilled, and spend their sweetness in the desert air,

with wicked jealousy, and envy more than diabolical, begrudge to others

the little spot on which they stand, and chase them as they would a

ravening tiger from their country.

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LETTER XXXVIII.

-------------------------------------------

As we advanced towards the southward and eastward, in our way from

Diarbeker towards Bagdad, I found the air became sensibly warmer, and

observed that the disposition of the people grew more and more brutal.

My guide’s conduct (for he knew them well) became proportionately

artful, and my manners were of course to grow so much the humbler. I

observed, however, that his authority continued the same, and that he

seemed to exert it with greater rigour; not in severity or chastisement,

but in exacting implicit obedience. Yet still he evidently acted with

great caution and circumspection; for, in some districts, he either

avoided the little villages by a circuitous route, or dashed through

them at a very quick pace, while the gaping multitude considered us as

on a dispatch of haste and importance—in others, he entered the towns

without reserve, and left it to chance to decide whether we should be

discovered or not. At some caravanseras he treated me with affected

negligence, at others he made me eat with him and drink wine, of which,

in some places, he himself drank copiously, and at others as

scrupulously refrained from. And sometimes we lay at night out in the

open air, rather than enter a town; on which occasions I found the

weather as piercing cold as it was distressfully hot in the day time.

Bred, as the man was, a mixture of slave and tyrant, I can suppose some

parts of this conduct to arise from caprice; but as he was naturally

kind, as many of those aberrations from the usual mode of travelling

were attended with hardship and inconvenience to himself, and as my

servant and the other Tartar were clearly of opinion he was right, I am

rather disposed to believe that he, on the whole, acted from, principles

of sound sense and policy.

He frequently advised me against indulging in laughter; said it was

unmanly, indecorous, inconsistent with the gravity becoming a wise man,

and withal dangerous.

One evening we came to a caravansera much fatigued, the day being

extremely hot, and we having rode very hard—whether it was caprice or

fatigue, or the suggestion of policy that moved him, I cannot say, but

he certainly was more disposed to play the tyrant than I had ever before

seen him. He flogged the men who took the horses, kicked every one he

met, made the house ring with his enormous voice; directed supper to be

got ready, ate growling, and finding fault with every thing; and under

pretence of disliking the ingredients of an excellent pillaw, handed it

over to me, saying, Here, Jimmel (the name he called me), here, take

this filth, and cram it down thy coarse throat, it is only fit for a

Frank—I took it with the best air of humility I could assume; and

tearing the meat with my fingers, which I also used instead of a spoon

to eat the rice, swallowed it eagerly; he watching me all the time

attentively. When I had finished it, I gave him a hint in the Frank

language, that I should like to wash it down with some wine; but he did

not, or rather would not, understand me.

Supper done, he ordered a servant to attend him with some water, and

directed him to wash his feet; while that operation was performing, he

continued menacing every one about him. My servant, who sat next me and

behind him, interpreted every thing he said. “Yes, ye slaves,” said he,

as he lolled back upon his cushion, “yes, I will make the best of you

wash my feet; for who shall refuse to wash the feet of him, who

represents the Sultan of the World, the Son of Mahomet, the Messenger of

the Lord?” The poor fellow proceeded in his humble office, and only

interrupted him by saying, “Blessed be my Lord the Sultan, and glory be

to the Lord our God, and Mahomet his Prophet.”—“Yes, yes,” continued my

Tartar, “bless God and the Prophet, and pray for his servant our Sultan,

and all who represent him like me, that slaves of your description are

permitted to live: nay, thou shalt wash this Frank’s feet:” then,

turning to me with an air of magisterial tenderness, “Jimmel,” said he,

“hold forth thy feet, and let them be washed by this disciple of Ali—I

say, hold forth thy feet.”

Scarcely able to refrain from laughter at this Bombardinian of the East,

and his pompous manner of issuing his orders, I drew up my trowsers and

took off my boots—the man brought fresh water, and fell to rubbing my

feet with great good will and humility; yet evidently felt so much hurt

at the humiliation, that I was sorry for it, and would rather have

dispensed with the washing, though it was a luxury.

In the midst of this operation, the Tartar, who was reclining on his

cushion, smoking, rose up, and stalking two or three times across the

room, with the most ludicrous air of self-conceit and importance, took

his tobacco pipe from his mouth, brandished it in ostentatious parade,

and in the tone and manner rather of one that was raving than of a man

in his sober senses, burst out with an emphatical expression of

satisfaction, and said, “This it is to be protected by a great man:

Mussulmen salam to him and wash his feet.”

The extravagance of this sentiment, the absurdity of its application,

and the consequential solemnity of his action and countenance while he

spoke, altogether rushed upon me with such impetuous force, that I could

not resist it, and, in spite of every effort to restrain myself, burst

into an immoderate fit of laughter.

Had I the pencil of Hogarth, the pen of Shakespeare, or the powers of a

Garrick, I might attempt to give some idea of his countenance, when,

turning, he beheld me convulsed with laughter. I might attempt it, I

say, but I could not do it justice. Such a combination of ludicrous

expression I never beheld; it was indeed an epitome of all the lower

order of human passions. Fury predominated, but it was risible fury—it

was fury that rather grinned than frowned; though under it were to be

seen shame and mortification, sorrow and resentment, pride and

degradation, silly bashfulness and decayed importance. For some time he

stood transfixed to the spot, his eyes glistening like those of a rat in

a trap; his pointed whiskers moving with the contortions of his lips,

and his mouth every now and then opening like the beak of a wounded

hawk. To utter his sensations he was unable; and he continued in this

state, not only till my laughter was abated, but till I had time to

reflect and be seriously concerned.

At length, without saying a sentence, he wheeled about, threw off his

slippers, drew on his boots, vociferated till he brought all the people

of the caravansera about him, and ordered horses to be ready instantly.

As orders from such a person were not likely to be disobeyed, the horses

were got ready. I saw that I must either proceed, or come to an open

rupture with him; so recollecting that I was myself in fault, that a

dispute might be fatal, and that at all events it was only the humour of

the moment, I drew on my boots too, and was ready to go, though I was

much fitter for a twelve hours’ nap than for an hour’s travelling on

horseback.

We mounted immediately, and it was my good fortune to have the best

horse. He set out upon the gallop, the moon shining as bright almost as

day; I put forward my horse, and kept rather before him, which vexed him

so, that he beat the poor animal he rode on most unmercifully. At

length, after about eight or ten miles riding, he called a

halt—dismounted, and said he would rest there all night. I saw it was

all resentment: but knowing that it would be in vain to remonstrate, I

dismounted too; and, judging that the best way to mortify him in return,

was to comply with affected approbation, turned to my servant and told

him (knowing that it would go from him to the Tartar) that I was

delighted with the beauty of the night; remarking at the same time, that

lying in the sweet salubrious air was far preferable to being confined

in the sultry filth of a caravansera.

As soon as this was communicated to the Tartar, he remarked, that the

open air was the fittest place for the beasts of the forest, and

therefore suitable to a Frank; but for his part, he would much rather

repose on a cushion, which he should have done, had it not been for my

accursed risible faculties.

Here the conversation rested, and we fell asleep. In a few hours he

awoke us, and we set forward: after some pause, he began in the

following manner, which was interpreted to me, as he spoke, by my

servant:

“Surely God made laughter for the derision and shame of mankind, and

gave it to the Franks and the monkies; for the one ha, ha, ha’s, and the

other he, he, he’s, and both are malicious, mischievous, and good for

nothing but to fret and tantalize all that come across them.”

Here he paused, as waiting for something to be said: however, I remained

silent. At length, he continued: “Not but that, with all their laughter,

they have the wisdom to take special care of themselves; for half a

dozen monkies will he, he, he, and empty a whole orchard of its fruit in

the reckoning of a hundred; and a Frank will ha, ha, ha, and eat you up

pillaws, and poultry like a wolf, and drink up wine with the same

moderation that a camel drinks up water.”

I thought I should have choked with smothered laughter: I would not

however interrupt him, and so contrived to keep it to myself: he

proceeded to apothegmatise:

“But with all their he, he, he’s, and ha, ha, ha’s, it sometimes turns

out that they are caught: the monkey is seized in a trap, and caged or

knocked in the head, and the Frank is put in jail, and bastinadoed or

hanged; and then the tune is changed, and it is Oh, ho, ho!” Here he

began to mimic crying so admirably, and at the same time so

ridiculously, that I burst out laughing again.

“Observe, Jimmel,” said he hastily, “observe! you can’t refrain! But by

our holy Prophet,” said he seriously, “it may end as I said: so look to

yourself, and avoid laughter in caravanseras, or we part; for there are

places, and that was one of them last night, where suspicion would ruin

you. And if you lost your life, what should I say for myself on my

return to Aleppo? Eh, what should I say for myself? Ha, ha ha! would not

do. No, no, they would not believe it, and I should lose my character.”

“Why, don’t you laugh yourself?” said I.

“Very seldom, or rather never,” returned he; “at least I would not in

time of danger. No, no, none but Christians and monkies make a practice

of laughing—Turks and Tartars are wiser.” I promised, him, that I would

in future take more care; and, by way of appeasing him with a little

flattery, said, that he played his part so admirably, it was impossible

to resist the impulse. But he answered, with a grave face, that his

action in that case was of too serious a nature to be made a subject of

merriment—and advised me to believe it so.

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LETTER XXXIX.

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The solicitude of my guide for my safety was the earnestness of a man of

business zealous to discharge with the utmost punctuality the duty he

had undertaken; and I must observe to you, that the whole of his conduct

evinced a precision and punctuality of dealing rarely found in our

intercourse with mankind. Previous, to leaving Aleppo, he had undertaken

to convey me safe—he was, as you may already perceive, indefatigable and

unremitting in his endeavours to do so; he had promised to supply me

with food—so he did, in the most ample manner; he promised to go as I

pleased, fast or slow—so he did; he promised to change horses with me,

as often as I thought proper to desire—he did so. But beyond this, he

seemed to carry his care of me no farther than to any bale of goods he

might have in his charge. He was bound to deliver me safe, in good order

and condition, at Bagdad: so much he was determined to do, and no more

did he think of. I had got letters to the Bashaws of some of the towns

through which we were to pass: but as the delivery of a letter is,

according to the custom of that country, always accompanied with a

present, I thought it better to decline delivering them, except when

necessity compelled—though the state of the country was so unsettled,

that we often had occasion for a guard.

As soon as the remembrance of the laughing affair was a little decayed,

the Tartar began to relax into good humour, and to talk with his usual

vehemence; for he was always, according to the flow of his spirits,

either sullenly silent or extravagantly loquacious. His tongue might be

considered as a thermometer, by which the warmth or coldness of his

temper might be calculated, and the extremes of garrulity and

taciturnity were the indices. His conversation, however, was very

circumscribed, and consisted chiefly of stories of himself and his

horse, the amazing journeys he made, and the feats of manhood he

performed. One circumstance I must in justice mention, as I think it

marks strongly the habitual delicacy and modesty of this people.

Although he frequently lamented my banishment from my family, and

although we were for eighteen days continually conversing on a variety

of occasions that might lead to the subject, he never once talked of

women; never, in all his pity for my situation, glanced even remotely at

the possibility of my getting a substitute in that way; never hinted

that he thought of them himself. On seeing women coming to the wells,

they reminded me of some of the stories in the Old Testament. I

mentioned it, but it went no farther; for whenever the subject was

started, he threw cold water on it.

That he conceived me to be in some respects a parcel of property, I have

good reason to believe: for I observed that, at some caravanseras the

people collected round me, and regarded me with strong symptoms of

surprise and pity; some viewed me with commiseration, some with

contempt; but not one creature, however wretched or abject, seemed to

envy my situation.

I was the more confirmed in this opinion by an incident that happened

between Diarbeker and Mosul. One morning I was unusually overcome with

the fatigues of the preceding day: the Tartar called me, summoned me to

horse; and finding that I gave no answer, nor shewed any token of

awaking, he lifted me in his arms bodily from my couch (such was his

strength that he did it without any difficulty), carried me out without

the least ceremony, and, before I was so completely awake as to be

sensible of my situation, had me fixed upon a horse ready to depart.

A transaction so very singular, you may well conclude, surprised me at

the time, and would not readily be forgotten: such a crowd of strange,

confused, and incongruous thoughts and sensations as occurred to me, I

never before experienced: they were painful, they were surprising—but I

was in such a state that I could not afterwards analyse them. The chief

reflection that arose from it was, that human sentiment must be in a

deplorable state of degradation indeed, when such a circumstance could

occur from the notion that a man was as much an asset or piece of

property, could be transferred by the same means, and moved in the same

unfeeling manner, as any portion of inert matter that makes up a bale of

merchandize. Of the truth of this position I had soon after a melancholy

proof, in an incident which, though lamentable, was attended with such

ludicrous circumstances, that even now I never think of it without

smiling—smiling, as I did then, with a heart bleeding with pity.

One morning I was awakened before day-break with a bustle in the

caravansera where we lodged. I conjectured that the Tartar was preparing

to get forward, and rose in order to lose no time. I was so far right in

my conjectures: the horses were ready, and I came out to mount, and was

very much surprised to perceive several horses before me loaded with

something which stood erect from their backs, and which I had barely

light to discern were not men. I concluded that they were bales of

merchandize packed in a particular form, and asked no questions till

full day-light disclosed to me that they were human creatures tied up in

sacks, and fastened astride on the horses’ backs. There was a strange

union of horror and oddity in the conception, that struck me at once

with a mixed emotion of indignation, pity, and mirth.—The former however

got the better, and I asked my servant with some warmth what it

meant.—He said that the sacks contained some young women whom the Tartar

had bought.—“Good GOD!” said I, “is it possible that he can have bought

wretched females to treat them with so little tenderness?” “He has

bought them,” returned my servant, “in the way of traffic, not for

pleasure.”

“Suppose he has,” said I, “suppose even they were men, not to mention

young women, how can he imagine that they will survive this? Tied up and

sweltered in a sack—fastened cross-legs on a horse, and driven at such

an amazing rate (for by this time we had set forward, and another Tartar

was whipping the horses up all the time, and driving them on)—how is it

possible they can survive? They must be smothered—they must be shattered

to pieces—they must be stripped, excoriated, and tortured to death!”

“If I might presume to advise,” said he, “I would say that you had

better make no remarks upon it: it would only get them perhaps worse

treated, and raise his anger against you.”

To conclude, I took his advice, and kept my mind to myself. The

unfortunate women were in this manner carried fifty miles, at the end of

which their tender-hearted purchaser disposed of them in some way of

keeping till his return; when I suppose they were to be carried back in

sacks astride upon horses, all the way to Aleppo, there to be sold to

the highest bidder.

To us, my FREDERICK, who live in a country where an hour’s detention in

a house against our will is punished as unlawful imprisonment, and who

feel and value the rich treasure of liberty above all earthly blessings,

the bare idea of slavery appears horrible; when the miseries of slavery

are sharpened by cruelty, our indignation burns at the offence: but such

a complicated piece of enormity as that I have mentioned, almost

transcends belief, and indignation is lost in amazement. There are but

few men, even in our bracing climate, whom fifty miles riding would not

shake to pieces, and torture almost to death. No woman would think of

it. But when to that is superadded, first the compulsion—then the sorry

and at best painful equipage of the horses—the tender persons,

unaccustomed to riding, of the women—the smothering heat of the sack—and

above all the horrid climate, burning with an almost vertical heat

(vertical at least compared with our oblique sun)—it will be allowed to

be a wonder, almost approaching to a miracle, that they survived one

half of their journey. The wonder-working hand of Omnipotence alone

could bring them through it; and when I asked in the evening whether

they were dying or dead, and was told that they were not only alive but

in perfect health, I could not help repeating that most beautiful

expression put into the mouth of Maria by the inimitable Sterne, “God

tempers the wind to the side of the shorn lamb.”

This affair tended to prejudice me strongly against my Tartar guide, and

it was for some time that I could not look upon him without horror: but

at length my resentment abated; and reason, resuming her seat of cool

decision, told me, that though it was a crime and a grievous one, he was

not so responsible for it as those who, knowing better, authorised it by

their concurrence, gave it the sanction of law, and made it familiarly

practised; he only did that which he had been even from his mother’s

breast instructed to do, and should therefore not be judged by those

rules which a Briton would lay down for the government of such cases.

A Briton!—Hold! Have I not now been uttering a most severe satire upon

the British Nation? Yes! imputing to men a virtue which they want, is

the worst kind of satire—I meant it not at the time, but will not

retract what I have written—Britons deserve the lash of satire! They

deserve a worse lash: for the traffic in human bodies still stands a

bloody brand of infamy on her great National Councils. Their brothers’

blood! the blood of millions of murdered Africans, like that of Abel,

cries to Heaven against them, and will not, I fear, cry in vain.

Great God!—What a horrible thought!—what an indelible stigma! that a

Legislator shall, in the cold blood of commerce, make a calculation of

the probable profit upon human lives—put commercial expediency in the

balance against murder—and make convenience the excuse for crime!—Why,

the robber may do so!—But shall Britons, generous Britons, who boastful

claim precedence of the world in freedom, humanity, and justice—shall

they look on and see inferior nations spurning from them with horror the

debasing traffic; and stimulated by avarice, or misled by wicked policy,

retain the blot that other States have wiped away, and live at once the

curse of one part, and the scorn of the rest of mankind?—Forbid it

Mercy! Forbid it Heaven!—And oh! may that virtuous man, who, disdaining

the malignant taunts of the base and interested, boldly steps forth the

advocate of man and of his country, and session after session springs

from the couch of repose which opulence presents him, to break the

fetters and the scourges which improbity and avarice have forged for our

fellow creatures—may he succeed and bear down all his opposers! and may

the justice of his country make his triumph and his glory as certain and

complete here, as the justice of that Being, under whose direction he

acts, will doubtless make them hereafter!

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LETTER XL.

-------------------------------------------

From the considerations I have already pretty fully mentioned, my mind

was by no means at ease. The incessant travelling for so many days, at

the rate of seventy-five miles a day, to be continued I knew not how

long, increased my anxiety: and the apprehensions of accident,

interruption, and above all sickness, intercepting me on my way, haunted

my imagination with all its terrors. I was besides approaching fast to

that region where the winds strike all living things that draw them in

instantly dead: and conceiving that the more expeditious I was in

getting over the journey, the greater chance I had of escaping those

mischiefs; I pushed heartily forward, and urged the Tartar till he at

last expressed his astonishment and approbation; paid me the compliment

to say, that I was almost equal to himself for enduring fatigue; and

concluded with a very sagacious surmise, that in all probability I had

been myself a carrier of dispatches among the Frank Governments.

One day after we had rode about four miles from a caravansera, at which

we had changed our cattle, I found that a most execrably bad horse had

fallen to my lot: he was stiff, feeble, and foundered; in consequence of

which he stumbled very much, and I every minute expected that he would

fall and roll over me. I therefore proposed to the guide to exchange

with me; a favour he had hitherto never refused, and for which I was the

more anxious, as the beast he rode was of the very best kind. To my

utter astonishment he peremptorily refused: and as this had been a day

of unusual taciturnity on his part, I attributed his refusal to

peevishness and ill temper, and was resolved not to let the matter rest

there. I therefore desired the interpreter to inform him, that as he had

at Aleppo agreed to change horses with me as often as I pleased, I

should consider our agreement infringed upon if he did not comply, and

would write to the Consul at Aleppo to that effect.

As soon as this was conveyed to him, he seemed strongly agitated by

anger; yet endeavoured to conceal his emotions under affected contempt

and derision, which produced from him one of the most singular grins

that ever yet marred the human physiognomy. At length he broke forth:

“You will write to Aleppo, will you? Foolish Frank! they will not

believe you! By Mahomet, it would be well done to hear the complaint of

a wandering Frank against Hassan Artaz—Hassan the faithful and the just,

who for ten years and more has been the messenger of an Emperor, and the

friend and confidant of Cadis, Bashaws, and Viceroys, and never yet was

called so much as liar! Who, think you, poor misguided one! who, think

you, would believe that I broke my promise?”

“Why do you not then,” said I, interrupting him, “why do you not perform

it by changing horses, when you are convinced in your conscience (if you

have any) that it was part of your agreement?”—“Once for all I tell

you,” interrupted he, “I will not give up this horse. There is not,”

said he gasconadingly, “there is not a Mussulman that ever wore a beard,

not to talk of a wretched Frank, that should get this horse from under

me; I would not yield him to the Commander of the Faithful this minute,

were he in your place: I would not, I tell you, Frank—and I have my own

reasons for it.”

“I dare say you have,” returned I; “love of your ease, and fear of your

bones.”

At hearing this, he grew quite outrageous—called MAHOMET and ALLA to

witness that he did not know what it was to fear any thing—declared that

he was convinced some infernal spirit had that day got possession of

me—and indeed seemed well disposed to go to logger-heads. At length

observing that I looked at him with sneering contemptuous defiance, he

rode up along side of me—I thought it was to strike, and prepared to

defend myself. I was however mistaken; he snatched the reins out of my

hand, and caught hold of them collected close at the horse’s jaw; then

fell flogging my horse and spurring his own, till he got them both into

full speed; nor did he stop there, but continued to belabour mine with

his whip, and to spur his own, driving headlong over every impediment

that came in our way, till I really thought he had run mad, or designed

to kill me. Several times I was on the point of striking him with my

whip, in order to knock him off his horse—but as often patience

providentially came in to my assistance, and whispered to me to forbear

and see it out. Mean time I considered myself as being in some danger;

and yet such was the power he had over the cattle, that I found it

impossible to stop him: so resigning the event to the direction of

Providence, I suffered him without a further effort to proceed; I

calling him every opprobrious name I could think of in lingua Franca,

and he grinning, and calling me Dumus, Jihash, Burhl (i. e. hog, ass,

mule), in rapid and impetuous vehemence of tone and utterance.

He continued this for a length of I dare say some miles, over an

uncultivated tract, here and there intersected with channels formed by

rills of water in the periodical rains; thickly set with low furze,

ferns, and other dwarf bushes, and broken up and down into little hills.

His horse carried him clean over all: and though mine was every minute

stumbling and nearly down, yet with a dexterity inexpressible, and a

vigour altogether amazing, he kept him up by the bridle, and I may say

_carried_ him gallantly over every thing. I was astonished very much at

all this, and towards the end as much pleased as astonished; which he

perceiving, cried out frequently and triumphantly, “O, la Frangi! Heli!

Heli! Frangi!” and at last drawing in the horses, stopping short, and

looking me full in the face, exclaimed in lingua Franca, “Que dice,

Frangi—Que dice?”

For some time I was incapable of making him any answer, but continued

surveying him from head to foot as the most extraordinary savage I had

ever beheld; while he stroked his whiskers with great self-complacency

and composure, and nodded his head every now and then, as much as to

say, Ay, ay, it is so! look at me! am not I a very capital fellow?—“A

capital fellow indeed you are,” said I, “but I wish I was well out of

your confounded clutches.”

We alighted of the brow of a small hill, whence was to be seen a full

and uninterrupted prospect of the country all round. The interpreter

coming up, he called to him and desired him to explain to me carefully

the meaning of what he was about to say; which I will give you as nearly

as I can in his own words, as they were translated by the Linguist:

“You see those mountains yonder,” said he, pointing to the East; “those

are in the province of _Kurdestan_, inhabited by a vile race of robbers

called Jesides, who pay homage to a God of their own called Jesid

(Jesus), and worship the Devil from fear. They live by plunder, and

often descend from those mountains, cross the Tigris which runs between

them and us, and plunder and ravage this country in bands of great

number and formidable strength, carrying away into slavery all they can

catch, and killing all who resist them. This country therefore, for some

distance round us, is very dangerous to travellers, whose only safety

lies in flight. Now it was our misfortune this morning to get a very bad

horse, for which, please ALLA (stroking his whiskers), some one shall

receive the bastinado. Should we meet with a band of those Curds, what

could we do but fly? And if you, Frangi, rode this horse, and I that, we

could never escape: for I doubt you could not keep him up from falling

under me, as I did under you: I should therefore come down and be

taken—you would lose your guide, and miss your way, and all of us be

undone. Besides,” continued he, “there are many villages here where

people live, who, if they only suspected you were a Frank, would follow

and sacrifice you if they could to MAHOMET, and where of course you must

run for it.”

As soon as the interpreter had explained this to me, “Well,” continued

the Tartar, “what does he say now to it?” Then turning to me, and

tossing up his head—“Que dice, Frangi?”

“Why, I say,” returned I, “that you have spoken good sense and sound

reason; and I am obliged to you.”

This, when interpreted fully, operated most pleasingly upon him; his

features relaxed into a broad look of satisfaction, and he said:—“I will

do every thing I can to make you easy and contented: and when I am

obstinate, don’t resist—for be assured I have reason for it; and above

all things avoid laughing in my presence. But we shall reach Mosul by

and by, and probably then we may have no more rides.” For I expected to

get down the river Tigris from Mosul to Bagdad, and had told him so, and

he encouraged me with the expectation.

That night we came to a caravansera which lay at some distance from a

village. Here the Tartar, pleased with himself for the conduct of the

day, and pleased with me for my approbation of it, ordered a most

admirable supper; and not only, as was very common with him, rejected

the best dish in order to present it to me, but also selected for me the

choicest bits of those upon the table. He then ordered wine, observing

that the fatigue of a Government Messenger demanded indulgence; and

using a salvo of my suggestion on a former occasion, viz. that the

Prophet would not be offended with travellers more than with the sick

for taking it as it were _medicinally_.

We accordingly had wine, and admirable it was, though by no means equal

to that we drank at the city of Diarbeker. I took little however, and

the Tartar was much surprised at my abstemiousness; remarking, that he

never saw a Frank before that was not a downright hog when he got the

cup to his lips. My taking it in small portions, while he drank it as we

do table beer, particularly astonished him. Before he lay down on his

couch, he gave orders for horses, threatening the people with severe

castigation if they gave bad ones; holding up as an example the person

that gave us the stumbling horse that day, who he declared should be

bastinadoed as soon as he returned, if there was a Cadi within ten

leagues of him; and I dare to say that he kept his word most

religiously.

The next morning we had excellent cattle; fear produced wonders among

them, and we set forward just as the sun rose. As we entered the first

village, I was somewhat alarmed by perceiving my guide draw up his

horse—deliberate—mutter to himself—and seem rather uneasy while he

viewed a crowd that was up the street before us; some of whom I

perceived to be agitated with some extraordinary motions of the body,

while one man stood in the middle, rolling his body into a variety of

strange contortions.—The Tartar, for a minute or two, seemed to be

debating within himself whether he should proceed or turn about: at

length putting me on his left hand, he set forward at full speed,

leaving the crowd on his right, who, seeing the rapidity of our pace,

flew on one side, and let us pass. We soon however heard shouting behind

us, and could hear plainly the words “Ghiaour! Frangi Cucu!” and looking

back, perceived several ragged men like savages pursuing us, lifting

stones occasionally, and casting them after us with all their might. The

speed of our horses at last got us out of both sight and hearing; and I

plainly perceived, and was for the first time convinced, that my guide’s

conduct was directed by sound sense, spirit, good faith, and integrity.

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LETTER XLI.

-------------------------------------------

The extraordinary occurrence which I mentioned in my last letter

required explanation, and my Tartar friend was not backward in giving

it; for he loved exceedingly to hear himself talk, and, on any subject

within the compass of his knowledge, was shrewd, perspicuous, and even

naturally eloquent: he had moreover on that occasion acted the part of a

skilful general; and as I applauded his prudence and address, he was

extremely kind and communicative, and gave me a full account of that

affair, his motives, his deliberations, and the urgency of the case;

and, in short, every thing that could elucidate the circumstance, or

aggrandize his own importance. It would be a pity to take it out of his

own words: I shall therefore relate them to you, as I had them through

the medium of our Linguist, for they made an impression on my memory not

easily to be erased.

“You must know,” said he, “that there are spread over the face of this

great and glorious empire a number of dervises of different kinds—_holy_

men, who renounce the enjoyments and pleasures of the world, to converse

with Mahomet and worship Alla. Some of those are very good men, indeed

saints, and never do any thing bad; preaching and praying, without

hurting any thing, even a rat or a snake; nay, they would not hurt a

Christian. There are others again, of whom I have heard our Bashaws and

Effendis, and even the Maazeen, declare that they are forbid by the

Koran; and yet the common people (the lower sort you know have no sense)

reverence and worship them—they are called _Santons_; live by

themselves, sometimes under ground like rabbits, and sometimes in the

thickets and woods. They go where they please, take the best seat in any

man’s house, cram themselves with meat and drink, and yet none resist

them; for some will not, and others dare not. Nay, they often pollute

women in the open streets—and they never set their eyes on a Christian

or a Frank, that they will not kill, if possible. For my part, I think

that they ought to be hanged, every one of them that had a head to be

hanged by—or rather staked—for no punishment is too great for them; but

I dare not say so in that town—if I did, I should be stoned to death by

the rabble.

“As soon as I perceived the crowd, and the rascals dancing, I knew that

they were santons, and was sure that they would stop us in order to

extract money from us; in which case they would most probably have

discovered you—for they have the eyes of the devil. Nothing then could

save your life; the crowd would join them, and your brains would have

been beat out with stones. I had a mind to turn back and go round the

town, but that might have caused suspicion, and got us perhaps

intercepted; so I determined to push by them boldly, which I did, you

can testify, like a brave man. You saw enough yourself, to convince you

of the danger you have escaped, and of my wisdom and valour; let me

therefore entreat you to be entirely guided by me, and above all things

avoid that accursed propensity to laughter.”

Since I first formed the resolution of writing this account of my

journey, I have been at some pains to dip into the best histories of

that country, and I find that in every instance my Tartar guide’s

information was correct. Those santons, as well as other classes of

dervises and sheihs, travel about the country and levy contributions on

the inhabitants: some are really what they pretend to be, and are as

pure and as pious as the monks of the primitive Christian church; but

the santons are monsters, who exist only by the barbarous credulity and

more than savage ignorance of the lower order of the people—though

reprobated, and indeed execrated, by the better sort of Turks. They

affect to be dementated (which with the Mahomedans is the greatest mark

of sanctity), and under cover of that madness commit every excess and

enormity, not merely with impunity, but with applause. Such is the

melancholy state of degradation, to which the weight of superstition’s

chains bends the mind of man! It is not long since I had a very pleasing

discussion of this extraordinary subject, with a gentleman of my

acquaintance, for whose veracity I have great respect. Superstition and

credulity very naturally led to a consideration of the Turkish religion,

and I expressed my satisfaction, that the worst excrescences of the

Christian schisms could not be compared with the Turkish faith in their

dervises. He said, that he agreed it did not go quite the length of the

santons; but he related to me a conversation between him and a Roman

catholic, not more than twenty-four miles from the enlightened city of

Dublin, which surprised me much.

“I was,” said he, “when a youth, very free in censuring all religions,

and chiefly Popery; for, being bred among Roman catholics, I had the

greater opportunity of seeing their absurdities, which I treasured up as

so much gain, without ever taking into account their many virtues, of

which they have their share. One day I was on a party of pleasure, at a

place called ——-, and in presence of a poor country fellow ridiculed the

priesthood, attributing to them many vices, and particularly fornication

and adultery. The man resisted me, and declared it was impossible. Then

I suppose, said I, if a priest and a woman were locked up in a room

together for a year, and the woman in a week after coming forth was

brought to bed of a child, you would not believe it to be the priest’s.

No, said he, I would not. Then how came the child? I don’t know, replied

he—any way but by him. In short, he would believe it self-impregnation,

or preternatural visitation, rather than allow a priest to be capable of

fornication.”

“But,” said I, “you supposed a case—if the fellow was shrewd enough to

say, no such case could at all happen, he would have put you down; that

was what he meant, though he knew not how to go about expressing it.”

The difficulties and hazards of the journey, which seemed to thicken

upon us as we advanced, made me pant for a speedy conclusion to it; and

the adventure of the last day opened more clearly to my view the dangers

we had to encounter, which were still likely to increase as we got to

the eastward and southward, where the fury of bigotry raged without

remorse; where the greater distance from the seat of government made the

populace more lawless, and the magistrate more corrupt and tyrannical;

where the total seclusion from all well ordered society rendered the

manners barbarous; where strangers were seldom seen, and when seen

fleeced and persecuted; and where particularly, I had reason to believe,

scarcely any Englishman had ever set his foot; and above all, where the

very winds that blew were charged with destruction, and carried instant

death upon their wings. I therefore earnestly longed to reach Mosul,

where the probability was, I should get at least the more comfortable

and commodious conveyance of water carriage, and where I might refresh

myself completely, after the fatigues of so many days journey; and, if

there was occasion, claim a guard and protection, having along with me a

letter to the Bashaw, which I might withhold or deliver, just as best

suited my inclination or convenience.

I could not help viewing with a sad and melancholy eye my present state;

wandering, I may say alone, unaccommodated and wretched, through an

inhospitable region, and more inhospitable people; where danger beset me

in a thousand forms, and every step I took, I took in hazard of my life;

and comparing it with those scenes of opulence and comfort which I had

once experienced, where every lawful wish met with its accomplishment;

where every necessity was supplied, and every difficulty obviated; where

tender love and attachment anticipated every desire, and soothed every

care; where the mutual endearments and reciprocal accommodations of

tender relatives, wife, children, faithful friends, and kindly intimates

gave a zest to life, made me feel that my existence was of interest to

others as well as to myself, and communicated a conscious importance

which the isolated, solitary, selfish man can never feel: I could not

help looking back with grief and mortification, to think that I once

possessed those blessings, and should perhaps possess them no more; but,

on the contrary, might perish unknown, unheeded, and unlamented, in an

unknown corner of the wilds of an unknown hostile country, without one

friend to solace or to cheer me, or tell to those who loved or took

share in my concerns, the place where I lay, or the particulars of my

fate.

Nor in this dismal train of reflections was Aleppo forgotten. It made

the great connecting link between my former happiness and present

misery; it was, as it were, the door through which I passed when I took

my last farewell of comfort: when it closed and shut me out, the

prospect was indeed gloomy; nor did I after feel one happy sensation,

unless the convulsive transports of a laugh, and the boisterous fleeting

mirth arising from the regularities of my guide, which, as the surge

raised by the tempest above its proper height lifts up the shattered

bark only to cast it on the beach and leave it shipwrecked, elevated my

spirits for the moment beyond their proper pitch, to retire quickly, and

leave them in the horrors of ten times deeper melancholy.

Perceiving how much cast down I was, my friendly Tartar began to rally

me: “Jimmel,” said he, “the Santons have frightened you:—but don’t be

afraid—HASSAN ARTAZ is no boy: he can bring you through greater

difficulties than those, should they befall us.”

“But how comes it,” said I, “Hassan, that you, who have so much power at

the caravanseras, have not power to resist those rascally Santons, or

the mobs of a village?”

“Why, as to the mob,” said he, “if I was by myself, or had only a true

Believer with me, I would make them fly before me like the dust before

the wind. As to the Santons, no one can resist them: the Great, who hate

them, are obliged to shew them respect: and the Bashaw of Aleppo, nay

the Commander of the Faithful himself, could not save you, if one of

them called on the mob to stone you, or tear you to pieces. However, be

of good cheer; for, please Alla, I will deliver you safe and sound to

the Coja at Bagdad: besides, we shall very soon be at Mosul, from whence

we will go down by water, which will be very pleasant: and the chief

danger then will be in fair fighting, which is better than being cut off

by Santons.—Should there be occasion,” said he, looking most ferociously

and brandishing his whip—“should we be attacked by Curds or Robbers, you

shall see—you shall see, Jimmel—Oh! holy Prophet, how I’ll fight!”

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LETTER XLII.

-------------------------------------------

It was early in the evening when the pointed turrets of the city of

Mosul opened on our view, and communicated no very unpleasant sensations

to my heart. I found myself on scripture ground; and could not help

feeling some portion of the pride of the traveller, when I reflected

that I was now within sight of Nineveh, renowned in holy writ.—The city

is seated in a very barren sandy plain, on the banks of the river

Tigris, embellished with the united gifts of Pomona, Ceres, and Flora.

The external view of the town is much in its favour, being encompassed

with stately walls of solid stone, over which the steeples or minarets

of other lofty buildings are seen with increased effect. Here I first

saw a large caravan encamped, halting on its march from the Gulph of

Persia to Armenia; and it certainly made a most noble appearance,

filling the eye with a multitude of grand objects, all uniting to form

one magnificent whole.

But though the outside be so beautiful, the inside is most detestable:

the heat is so intense, that in the middle of the day there is no

stirring out; and even at night the walls of the houses are so heated by

the day’s sun, as to produce a disagreeable heat to the body at a foot

or even a yard distance from them. However, I entered it with spirits,

because I considered it as the last stage of the worst part of my

pilgrimage. But, alas! I was disappointed in my expectation; for the

Tigris was dried up by the intensity of the heat, and an unusually long

drought; and I was obliged to take the matter with a patient shrug, and

accommodate my mind to a journey on horseback, which, though not so long

as that I had already made, was likely to be equally dangerous, and

which therefore demanded a full exertion of fortitude and

resolution.—There are a thousand latent energies in every man, which

only want the powerful voice of necessity to call them out: and now

drawn to the top of my bent, I prepared my mind to set out in the

morning, with as much cheerfulness as if the hopes of water carriage to

Bagdad had never once occurred to my mind.

It was still the hot season of the year, and we were to travel through

that country, over which the horrid wind I have before mentioned sweeps

its consuming blasts: it is called by the Turks Samiel, is mentioned by

holy Job under the name of the East Wind, and extends its ravages all

the way from the extreme end of the Gulph of Cambaya up to Mosul; it

carries along with it fleaks of fire, like threads of silk; instantly

strikes dead those that breathe it, and consumes them inwardly to ashes;

the flesh soon becoming black as a coal, and dropping off from the

bones. Philosophers consider it as a kind of electric fire, proceeding

from the sulphureous or nitrous exhalations which are kindled by the

agitation of the winds. The only possible means of escape from its fatal

effects, is to fall flat on the ground, and thereby prevent the drawing

it in: to do this, however, it is necessary first to see it, which is

not always practicable.

But besides this, the ordinary heat of the climate is extremely

dangerous to the blood and lungs, and even to the skin, which it

blisters and peels away from the flesh, affecting the eyes so much, that

travellers are obliged to wear a transparent covering over them to keep

the heat off.

That night, Hassan said, that as we must proceed to Bagdad on horseback,

he would stay the next at Mosul to refresh us; which I objected to: he

then spoke of the succeeding part of the journey as a thing of nothing:

we had already come near nine hundred miles, and had not above five to

go: besides, as the weather was warmer, we would travel more in the

night, and lie-by in the daytime, in places with which he was well

acquainted.

In short, the poor fellow seemed to take an interest in my safety, and

to wish to alleviate the pains of my mind; and he always concluded with

a remonstrance against laughing, which from frequently hearing, I now

understood even in his own language.—“Don’t laugh, Jimmel, don’t laugh,”

he would say with great solemnity.—By the bye, I observed, that when he

was well disposed to me, he always called me Jimmel (a name which I

presume he constructed, with my servant’s assistance, from the

resemblance of sound between Campbel and Camel, Jimmel being the Turkish

for that animal); and when angry, he called me Frangi, with all its

gradations of Turkish abuse, Dumus, Cucu, &c.

That evening, as we sat in the caravansera, a man entered and spoke to

Hassan, who seemed to pay great attention to what he was saying. He was

a well made man—below the middle size—and had that kind of countenance

which bespeaks shrewdness, ingenuity, and mirth. At length he retired;

and soon after Hassan bid us rise and follow him: he went into a sort of

public room, where a number of people were collected, sitting as is the

custom in coffee-houses on low stools. Hassan pointed to me to sit down,

which I did: then placing the Interpreter near us, he sat himself: and

straight I perceived the little man, who had just been speaking to him,

step forth from the crowd and begin to pronounce a sort of prologue,

which I neither understood nor wished to understand: it appeared from

his cadences to be metrical, and seemed, by the little impression it

made on his auditors, to have nothing particular to recommend it. At

length, however, he paused, and, hemming several times to clear his

pipes, began again to hold forth. “He is going to tell a story,” said

the Interpreter. The attention of all was fixed upon him, and he

proceeded with a modulation of tones, a variety of action, and an energy

of expression, that I think I have never heard or seen excelled: his

action indeed was singularly admirable; and I could perceive that he was

occasionally speaking in the tones of a man and a woman; in which latter

character he gave a picture of whining ludicrous distress, that moved

the risible muscles of all the company. I looked at Hassan, and he was

grinning as merrily as could any monkey or Frank in Asia. The Linguist

occasionally interpreted what the story-teller was saying; and I soon

began to suspect that it was a story I had more than once read in the

Arabian Nights, though altered, and in some measure dramatized by the

speaker. I looked several times archly at Hassan, and he returned my

glance, as much as to say, You see I don’t laugh at all this. At length,

however, the orator came to a part where he was to mimic a poor little

hunch-back (for I now discovered it to be the story of little

Hunch-back) choking with a bone: he threw up his back; squeezed, till

all the blood in his body seemed collected in his face, his eyes rolled

in their sockets, his knees knocked, he twisted and folded his body,

putting his fore-finger and thumb into his throat, and pulling with all

his might, as if to pull something out: at length he grew weaker,

stretched his arms down, and his fingers back, like those of a person

strangling—kicked, fell, quivered, and died. It is impossible for any

description to do justice to the perfection of his acting; and what

rendered it the more extraordinary was, that though it was a scene of

death; and well acted death, he continued to render it so ludicrous in

circumstances, as to suspend the audience between a laugh and cry. They

did not remain long so; for he suddenly bounced up, and began the most

doleful lamentation, of a woman, and exhibited such a scene of burlesque

distress as I never witnessed. All burst out in torrents of laughter,

Hassan as well as the rest—I alone remained purposely serious; and the

orator, according to custom, broke off in the middle of an interesting

scene.

When we returned to the caravansera, I rallied the Tartar on the score

of his laughter: he growled, and said, “Who could avoid it? Why did not

you laugh as you were wont?”—“Because,” said I, “he did not act as

comically as you.”—“No,” returned he, “but because Franks and monkies

only laugh for mischief, and where they ought not. No, Jimmel, you will

never see me laugh at mischief.”—“What,” said I, “not at a poor man’s

being choked to death!”—“Nay,” said he, “I seldom laugh, yet I could not

avoid it then.” That very hour, however, a puppet-show was exhibited in

the same room, and my grave guide laughed till the tears ran down his

cheeks, and his voice sunk into a whining treble. _Karaghuse_ was

certainly extravagantly comical, though filthy; and frightened a Cadi

with a whole troop of Janissaries, by letting fly at them a shot or

two—_a parte post_——-

The next day we set out well mounted, and pushed on with renovated

spirits towards Bagdad. Hassan could no more have the assurance to

censure laughing; and, as I was little disposed to do it in time of

danger, we were likely to agree well. In short, we began to like one

another’s company; and if I brought him to be a greater laugher than he

used to be, he gave himself the credit of having made me much more

serious than I had been before—I profited by his instructions.

It would be an effort as idle and fruitless on my part, as

unentertaining and uninteresting on yours, to attempt to give you a

regular detail of our progress from Mosul to Bagdad; the same general

cautions were observed, with the same occasional relaxations. Hassan

still continued to treat me with a repetition of himself and his horse,

his own feats and his horse’s feats; to be silent when ill-tempered, and

loquacious when gay; to flog the attendants at the caravanseras; order

the best horses, and eat the best victuals, and to give me the best of

both; and finally, we had our fallings out and fallings in again: but I

had not the mortification of seeing any more women tied in sacks on

horses’ backs, and excoriated with a ride of fifty miles a day.

As we rode along we overtook several times straggling callenders, a kind

of Mahomedan monks, who profess poverty and great sanctity; they were

dressed all in rags, covered with filth, carried a gourd, by way of

bottle, for water—I presume sometimes for wine too—and bore in their

hands a long pole decorated with rags, and pieces of cloth of various

colours. They are supposed by the vulgar to have supernatural powers:

but Hassan, who seemed to have caught all his ideas from his betters,

expressed no sort of opinion of them; he _salam’d_ to them, and gave

them money, however. It was extraordinary enough, that they were all in

one story—all were going on a pilgrimage to Mecca—or, as they call it,

_Hadje_.

As soon as ever we got out of their sight and hearing, Hassan shook his

head, and repeated “Hadje, Hadje!” several times doubtingly, and

grinned, as he was accustomed to do when he was displeased, without

being able to manifest anger. “Hadje!” he would cry, “Hadje, Hadje!” I

asked him what he meant; and he said, that these fellows were no more

going to Mecca than I was. “I have a thousand and a thousand times,”

said he, “met callenders on the road, and always found them facing

towards Mecca. If I am going southward, I always overtake them; if

northward, I meet them; and all the time they are going wherever their

business carries them. I overtook,” continued he, “one of them one day,

and I gave him alms and passed him by; he was coming, he said, after me,

towards Mecca: but I halted on purpose for a day, and he never passed;

and a merchant arriving at the same caravansera informed me, he had met

the very same fellow four leagues farther northward; who had answered

him with the same story, and still had his face turned towards the

south.”

Fifty years ago, no man in Turkey would have dared to hold this

language; but every day’s experience evinces that the light of reason

spreads its rays fast through the world—even through Turkey; and

furnishes a well founded hope, that in another half century every

monkish impostor (I mean real impostors), whether they be Mahomedan

monks, or Christian monks, will be chased from society, and forced to

apply to honest means for subsistence.

END OF PART II.

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A

JOURNEY TO INDIA, &c.

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