CHILDREN.
Statistics are generally very dry and uninteresting, but at times they
take on a tragic interest, and the importance of the few submitted here
is so great that they should command careful attention.
The definite figures used are taken from the Mortality Statistics,
United States Census, and they cover the year 1912, which is the last
year for which we have definite information. Reliable mortality
statistics are given only in a part of the country, which is not to our
credit. The population is reported in the volume as 92,309,348. The
registration area, which is the area giving mortality statistics,
contains 53,843,896 people. In this area the total deaths are as
follows:
Under one year.............. 154,373
Under ten years............. 235,262
Taking it for granted that the infant and child mortality among the
unregistered people is the same, we get the following number of deaths
annually among children in the United States, in round numbers:
Under one year.............. 280,000
Under ten years............. 425,000
This is a very conservative estimate and 300,000 is usually given as the
number of deaths annually among babies under the age of one year.
Even under ideal conditions a baby would occasionally die, but the
deaths would be so rare that they would be the cause of surprised
comment. Some become parents who have no right to be, and they bring
children into the world who are not physically fit to survive, and these
generally die within a few days or weeks of birth. However, these babies
are but a small minority and at least ninety-nine out of a hundred
should survive. Not one baby born physically fit would die if
intelligently cared for, and the fact that each year we lose over
one-fourth million infants under one year of age in the United States is
an indictment of our lives and intelligence, and a challenge to better
our ways.
Every child that is brought into the world should be given an
opportunity to live. This is far from the case today. Children are so
handicapped that they are stunted in body and blunted in mind, if they
survive.
Suppose that every ten years an army of 4,250,000 men and women between
the ages of twenty and thirty were destroyed at one time in this
country! The indignation, sorrow and horror would be so great that a
means would soon be found to end the periodic slaughter.
But we allow this many children under ten to be destroyed every ten
years. The slaughter of the innocents does not bring forth much protest,
because we are so used to it, and the babies go one by one, all over the
country. The procession to the grave gives rise to this thought: "The
little one is better off. Now he will suffer no more. It is the will of
Providence." This is a libel on Providence, for this enormous mortality
is due to parental mistakes, mistakes made mostly through ignorance, but
blamable all the same. It behooves parents to obtain knowledge that will
prevent such costly and fatal errors. Nature's law is the same as man's
rule in this that ignorance of the law excuses no one. The results are
the same whether we err knowingly or ignorantly.
It is difficult to teach people to treat their babies properly, because
nearly all the information on the subject is so erroneous. When a
teacher brings forth the truth but few accept it, for the vast majority
are on the other side. Those parents who accept the truth find it
difficult, to put it into practice, for every hand is against them. It
takes more strength of character and moral courage than the average
individual possesses to withstand the criticism of neighbors, friends,
relatives and medical advisers.
The few who have the courage of their convictions and the right
knowledge reap a rich harvest. They have babies who are well. They see
their children grow up with sound bodies and clear minds. They are saved
much of the worry which is the lot of parents of children raised
according to conventional standards. Last, but by no means least, they
have the satisfaction of giving to the race individuals who are better
than their parents or the grandparents. There is much opportunity for
human improvement, and the improvement will take place automatically, if
we do not prevent it by going contrary to nature.
Healthy babies spring from normal, healthy parents. If they can have
normal grandparents, so much the better, but inasmuch as we can not
alter the past, let us give our attention to the present. If we take
care of the present, the future will bring forth a population of healthy
parents and grandparents, and then the babies will have full
opportunity. The past has great influence, for the child of today is
heir of the past, modified by the present. He who influences the present
leaves his mark on the future. As individuals we do not usually
accomplish much during a lifetime, but if we influence our time for the
better it is hard to tell where the improvement will cease or what will
be the aggregate result. A truth imparted to others acts much like a
pebble cast into the water. Its influence is felt in ever widening
circles.
Infancy and youth are plastic. Both body and mind are susceptible to
surrounding influences. If the heredity is unfavorable it can be largely
modified by favorable environments. If a child is born of unhealthy
parents, but without any serious defect, and is intelligently cared for
after birth, it will grow up to be healthy. On the other hand, a child
born of healthy parents that is improperly cared for will become ill and
perhaps die young.
In early years the habits are formed that will largely influence and
control the years of maturity. Most children learn bad habits from
birth. It is as easy to acquire good habits as bad ones, and as people
are largely creatures of habits, every parent should aim to give his
children a good start. Parents seldom do wrong intentionally, but they
are careless and many of the parental habits of the race are bad, and
for this the future generations must suffer.
It is easier and more economical to have healthy babies than to have
sickly ones. The healthy way is the simple way. It merely means
self-control, common sense and constructive knowledge on the part of the
parents.
PRENATAL CARE.
It is commonly believed that a pregnant woman must eat for two. The wise
woman will not increase her food intake. If she is not up to par
physically at the time of conception she will generally find it
advantageous to decrease the food allowance.
A healthy baby should not weigh to exceed six, or at most seven, pounds
at birth. Five pounds would be better. It does not take much food to
nourish an infant of that weight, and the baby does not weigh that much
until shortly before birth. Most of the food is used for fuel but the
amount of fuel required to heat a baby that is kept warm within the
mother's body is almost negligible.
One of the first and most important requisites for having healthy
children is to avoid the eating-for-two fallacy. Most people overeat,
anyway, and there should be no encouragement in this line.
The results of overeating are many and serious. The mother grows too
heavy or else she becomes dyspeptic. Overeating and partaking of food of
poor quality are the chief causes of the ills of pregnancy. Prospective
mothers can be comfortable. Pregnancy and childbirth are physiological.
Normal women suffer very little inconvenience or pain. The suffering
during pregnancy, the pain and accidents at childbirth are measures of
the mother's abnormality. The greater the inconvenience the farther has
the individual strayed from a natural life. The women who live normally
from the time of conception, or before, until the birth of the baby will
be surprised how little inconvenience there is.
For ideal results the father must be kind, considerate and
self-controlled. It is a disagreeable fact that many men are brutal and
inconsiderate of wives and unborn children. The extent of this brutality
can hardly be realized by those who have had no medical experience.
Perhaps the women are partly to blame, for they do not teach their boys
to be considerate and kind and they leave them in ignorance of subjects
that are important and that can best be taught by parents.
A pregnant woman should be mistress of her body. During this period the
husband has morally no marital rights. If boys were educated by their
parents on this subject they would be reasonable later on, and the
average boy of fourteen or fifteen is old enough to receive such
education.
Gestation should be a period of calm. All excitement and passion are
harmful. The mother should be as free from annoyance as possible.
Cheerfulness should be the rule. Those who are not naturally cheerful
should cultivate this desirable state of mind. Gruesome and horrible
topics should not be discussed. The reading should not be along tragic
lines. The study of nature and the philosophy of men who have found life
sweet are among the helpful mental occupations. The mental attitude has
its effect, not only on the mother, but on the unborn babe. That the
seed for good or evil is often planted in the child's brain before
birth, according to the mental and physical condition of the mother, can
hardly be doubted. Mothers who live naturally can dismiss all worry on
the subject of harm coming to themselves through maternity, for there
will be none. The absence of worry has a good effect on both mother and
child.
The various ills from which mothers suffer are largely caused by eating
for two. The overeating causes overweight in those whose nutrition is
above par and indigestion in those who have but ordinary digestive
capacity. Those who are overweight have too high blood pressure and
those who have indigestion absorb some of the poisonous products of
decomposition from the bowels. Headache is a common result. Palpitation
of the heart comes from gas pressure. The abnormal blood pressure may
result in albuminurea, swelling of the lower extremities and overweight
of both mother and child. The morning sickness is nearly always due to
excessive food intake. If this proves troublesome, reduce the amount of
food and simplify the combinations. Instead of taking heavy, rich
dishes, increase the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables.
The birth of a large baby is fraught with danger to mother and child.
Sometimes one or both are injured and sometimes one or both die. Many
women are afraid to become mothers for this reason. It would be
difficult to estimate how often this fear causes law breaking, for all
large cities have their medical men who grow rich through illegal
practices among these women. Sometimes these doctors are among the
respected members of the profession, eminent enough to have a national
reputation. The financial reward is great enough to tempt men to break
the law and they will continue to do so, so long as present conditions
exist.
It is important for the prospective mother to be moderate in her eating.
Three meals a day are sufficient. Between meals nothing but water should
be swallowed. Lunching always leads to overeating.
One meal each day can consist of starchy food, but not more than one
meal. Any one of the starches may be selected, the cereal products,
rice, potatoes, chestnuts. If the digestion is good, take matured beans,
peas or lentils occasionally, but these are so heavy that they should
not be eaten very frequently and always in moderation. With the starchy
food selected, take either butter or milk, or a moderate quantity of
both. Sometimes it is all right to take some fruit with the starchy
food, but this should be the exception, not the rule. Fruit should
generally be eaten by itself or taken with non-starchy foods. Starch
eating should be limited to one meal a day because an excessive amount
of this food causes hardening of the tissues. The baby's bones, which
should be very soft, flexible and yielding at birth, will become too
hard if much starch is eaten.
Once a day some kind of proteid food may be taken, but this should also
be eaten in moderation, for if it is not, degenerative changes will take
place, which will manifest in some one of the disorders common to
pregnancy. Eggs and the lighter kinds of meats, or nuts or fresh fish
may be selected. Whatever kind of protein is taken, it should be as
fresh as possible. Pork should not be used. With the protein, have
either fruit or vegetables, and it does not make much difference which.
No one could ask for a better meal than good apples and pecans.
Be sure to eat enough of the raw salad vegetables and of raw fruits to
supply the salts needed by the body.
For the third meal have fruit. Cottage cheese, sweet or clabbered milk
or buttermilk may be taken with the fruit. Do not take milk twice a day,
for if it is taken twice and other proteid food once a day, too much
protein is ingested.
A glass or two of buttermilk will make a good meal at any time. Dr.
Waugh, who has had over forty years of experience and is well and
favorably known on both sides of the Atlantic, recommends buttermilk
very highly during pregnancy. Buttermilk and clabbered milk are better
than the sweet milk. The lactic acid seems to have a sweetening effect
on the alimentary tract. Sweet milk is constipating for many people. The
buttermilk and the clabbered milk are not constipating to the same
degree.
The use of fruit and vegetables has a tendency to prevent constipation.
The only internal remedies for which there is any excuse are cathartics,
and normal people do not need them. However, it is better to take a mild
cathartic or an enema than to allow the colon to become loaded with
waste. Constipation among eaters of much meat is rather a serious
condition, for the waste in the colon of heavy meat eaters is very
poisonous. The colonic waste in vegetarians is not so toxic.
Desserts should be used sparingly and seldom. They are not a necessity,
but a habit, and if they are consumed daily they are a bad habit.
For the sake of the unborn child, avoid all stimulants and narcotics.
Alcoholics and coffee should not be used. And it is best to avoid strong
spices and rich gravies. A little self-denial and self-control in this
line will pay great dividends in healthy, happy, contented babies, and
there are no greater blessings.
The mother should be active, but should not take any violent exercise.
Light work is good, but no mother should Be asked to do house-cleaning
or to stand over the wash-tub. She should have the opportunity of being
in the open every day, and of this opportunity she should avail herself.
Why some women are ashamed of pregnancy is hard for normal-minded people
to understand, for the praise of motherhood has been sung by the
greatest poets and its glory depicted by the greatest painters of the
world.
This sense of false modesty is responsible for much of the tight lacing
during pregnancy. This is injurious to both the mother and the child,
and is one of the reasons for various uncomfortable sensations. It helps
to bring on the morning sickness. It is nature's intention that the
young should be free and comfortable previous to birth, and for this
reason a double bag is supplied between the walls of which there is
fluid. The baby lies within the inner bag.
The tight lacing prevents the intended freedom, besides weakening the
mother's muscles. It also aggravates any tendency there may be toward
constipation and swelling of the legs. It prolongs childbirth and makes
it more painful. This is too high a price to pay for false modesty and
vanity.
If it is necessary to support the abdomen and the breasts for the sake
of comfort, this can be done without compressing them and the support
should come from the shoulders.
The skin should be given good attention, for an active skin helps to
keep the blood pure and the circulation normal. Take a vigorous dry
rubbing at least once a day, and twice a day would be better. A quick
sponging off with cool water followed with vigorous dry rubbing is good,
but the rubbing is of greater importance than the sponging. An olive oil
rub is often soothing and may be taken as frequently as desired.
If there is a tendency to be ill and nervous, take a good hot bath,
staying in the water until there is a feeling of ease, even if it should
take more than thirty minutes, provided the heart and the kidneys are
working well. Defective heart and kidney action contraindicate prolonged
hot baths, but such ills will not appear if the mother lives properly.
Under such conditions missing a few meals can only have good results.
When eating is resumed, partake of only enough food to nourish the body,
for anything beyond that builds discomfort and disease.
These hints, simple as they are, contain enough information to rob
gestation and childbirth of their horrors, if they are intelligently
observed. If civilized woman desires to be as painfree as the savage,
she must lead the simple life.
INFANCY.
If the baby lives to be one year old, its chances of surviving are
fairly good, but during the first year the mortality is appalling.
Complete statistics are not available, but in places one-fifth or even
one-fourth of the babies born perish during this time. The mortality is
chiefly due to overfeeding and giving food of poor quality.
The average parent loves his baby. He loves the helpless little thing to
death. In Oscar Wilde's words, "We kill the thing we love." The babies
are killed by too much love, which takes the form of overindulgence.
About thirty years ago the well known physician, Charles B. Page, wrote:
"How many healthy-born infants die before their first year is
reached--babies that for months are mistakenly regarded as pictures of
health--'never knew a sick day until they were attacked' with cholera
infantum, scarletina, or something else. They are crammed with food,
made gross with fat, and for a time are active and cunning, the delight
of parents and friends--and then, after a season of constipation, a
season of chronic vomiting, and a season of cholera infantum, the little
emaciated skeletons are buried in the ground away from the sight of
those who have literally loved them to death. This is the fate of
one-third of all the children born. As a rule, babies are fed as an
ignorant servant feeds the cook-stove--filling the fire-box so full,
often, that the covers are raised, the stove smokes and gases at every
hole, and the fire is either put out altogether, or, if there is
combustion of the whole body of coals, the stove is rapidly burned out
and destroyed. With baby, overheating means the fever that consumes him,
and, in putting out the fire, too often the fire of life goes out also."
Fat babies are thought to be healthy babies. This is a mistake, for the
fatter the baby, the more liable it is to fill an early grave.
Thoughtful, knowing people realize that a child that weighs eight pounds
or more at birth is an indication of maternal law breaking. Both the
mother and the child will have to pay for this sooner or later.
Overweight is a handicap. It prevents complete internal cleansing and
combustion, without which health is impossible.
Because of the false ideas prevalent regarding weight of infants, it is
well to put a little emphasis on the subject. If the mother has lived
right during pregnancy, the child is often light at birth, sometimes
five pounds or less. The average doctor will shake his head and say that
the baby's chance to live is very small. The friends, neighbors and
relatives will say the same. They are wrong. Let the parents remember
that light children are not encumbered with fat, and rarely with
disease. A light baby is generally all healthy baby, and if properly
cared for and not overfed will thrive. Parents of such babies should be
thankful, instead of being alarmed.
It is not natural for babies to weigh nine or ten pounds at birth, and
when they do it is a sign of maternal wrong doing, whether she has been
cognizant of it or not. Babies should not be fat, nor should they be fat
when they grow older, if the best results are desired.
In babies it is better to strive for quality than for quantity.
Every mother who is capable of doing so should nurse her baby. There is
no food to take the place of the mother's milk. The babies build greater
strength and resistance when they are fed naturally than when they are
brought up on the bottle. Babies thrive wonderfully in an atmosphere of
love, and they draw love from the mother's breast with every swallow.
From the information available, which is not as complete and definite as
could be desired, it appears that from six to thirteen bottle-babies die
during the first year where only one breast-fed child perishes. The
bottle-baby does not get a fair start. If a mother is ill and worn out
she should not be asked to nurse the baby. If the mother has fever she
should not risk the baby's health through nursing. Some mothers do not
have enough milk to feed the baby. Nearly all who live properly give
enough milk to nourish their infants at first. If there is not enough
milk, the child should be allowed to take what there is in the breasts
and this should be supplemented with cow's milk.
Dr. Thomas F. Harrington said recently:
"From 80 to 90 per cent. of all deaths from gastrointestinal disease
among infants takes place in the artificially fed; or ten bottle-babies
die to one which is breast-fed. In institutions it has been found that
the death rate is frequently from 90 to 100 per cent. when babies are
separated from their mothers. During the siege of Paris (1870-71) the
women were compelled to nurse their own babies on account of the absence
of cow's milk. Infant mortality under one year fell from 33 to 7 per
cent. During the cotton famine of 1860 women were not at work in the
mills. They nursed their babies and one-half of the infant mortality
disappeared."
These are remarkable facts and bring home at least two truths. First,
they confirm the superiority of natural feeding over that of artificial
feeding. Second, they show that when the mother is not overfed the
infants are healthier. During the siege of Paris food was scarce in that
city. People of all classes had to live quite frugally. They could not
overeat as in the untroubled time of peace and prosperity, and the
result was that both the mothers and the babies were healthier. The
infant mortality was only a little over one-fifth of what it was
previously. If the French people had heeded the lesson the statesmen and
philosophers of that nation would not today have to worry about its
almost stationary population.
It would be much better if fewer children were born and those few were
healthier. What good does the birth of the army of 425,000 children
which perishes annually accomplish? It leaves the nation poorer in every
way. A mother tired and worn with wakeful vigils, and at last left with
an aching heart through the loss of her child, is not worth as much as
she who has a crooning infant to love, and through her mother-love
radiates kindness and good cheer to others. The conditions that weed out
so many of our infants tend to weaken the survivors.
It costs too much to bring children into the world to waste them so
lavishly. This may sound peculiar, but it is enlightened selfishness,
which is the highest good, for it brings blessings upon all.
Artificial feeding lays the foundation for many troubles which may not
manifest for several years. The bottle-fed babies are often plump, even
fat, but they are not as strong as those who are fed naturally. They
take all kinds of children's diseases very quickly. The glandular
system, which is so readily disturbed in children, is more easily
affected in bottle-fed babies. And so it comes about that they often
have swollen salivary glands, or swelling of the glands of the neck or
of the tonsils.
Do not be in a hurry to feed the baby after birth. Nature has so
arranged that the infant does not require immediate feeding. It is a
good plan to wait at least twenty-four hours after birth before placing
the baby at the breast, for then all the tumult and excitement have had
a chance to subside.
Many give the baby a cathartic within a few hours after birth. This is a
mistake. Cathartics are irritants and it is a very poor beginning to
abuse the mucous membrane of the intestinal tract immediately. This
mucous membrane is delicate and in children the digestive apparatus is
easily upset. Before birth there was no stomach or bowel digestion, all
the nutritive processes taking place in the tissues of the little body.
Gentle treatment is necessary to bring the best results. Cathartics with
their harsh action on the delicate membranes are contraindicated. The
mother's first milk is cathartic enough to stimulate the bowels to act,
but it is nature's cathartic and does no harm.
As a rule the baby is fed too often and too much from the time of birth.
If the child appears healthy the physician's recommendation will
probably be to feed every two hours day and night, or every two hours
during the day and every three hours at night. If the little one appears
weakly these feedings are increased in number. From ten to twenty-four
feedings in twenty-four hours are not uncommon and sometimes infants are
nursed or given the bottle two and even three times an hour. The excuse
for this is that the baby's stomach is small and cannot hold much food
at a time and must for this reason be filled often, for the baby has to
grow, and the more food it gets the faster it grows. The baby's stomach
is small, because the little one needs very little food. The human
being grows and develops for twenty to twenty-five years. This growth is
slow and during babyhood the amount of nourishment needed is not great.
The child, if properly taken care of, is kept warm. Hence it needs but
little fuel. The ideas on food needs are so exaggerated that it is hard
for parents to realize what moderate amount of food will keep a baby
well nourished.
An adult in the best of health would be unable to stand such frequent
food intake. He would be ill in a short time. Babies stand it no
better, and the only proof of this fact needed is that in the United
States at least 280,000 babies under one year of age perish annually.
During babyhood nearly all troubles are nutritive ones. With the stomach
and bowels in excellent condition baby defies all kinds of diseases,
provided it is given the simple, commonsense attentions needed
otherwise, such as being kept warm and clean in a well ventilated room.
With a healthy alimentary canal, which comes with proper feeding, the
little one can withstand the attack of the vast horde of germs which so
trouble adult minds, also adult bodies, when people fail to give
themselves proper care.
The results of too frequent feeding and overfeeding are appalling. The
first ill effect is digestive disturbance. Then one or more of the ills
of childhood make their appearance. These are called diseases, but they
are only symptoms of perverted nutrition, though we insist on giving
them names.
A healthy baby is one that is absolutely normal and well in every way.
However, babies today pass for healthy when they are fat and suffering
from all kinds of troubles, provided these ills can be tolerated. We
need a new standard of health. Perfect health is a gift that every
normal parent can bestow upon his children, and we should be satisfied
with nothing short of this. Babies can and should be raised without
illness, but, sad to relate, babies, who are always healthy are so rare
that they are curiosities.
Many babies show signs of maternal overfeeding within a few hours or
days of birth. One of the common signs is the discharge from the nose.
This is aggravated by overfeeding the infant. And thus is laid the
foundation, perhaps, for a lifelong catarrh. In due time various
diseases such as rickets, swollen glands, formerly called scrofulous,
mumps, measles, scarlet fever, diphtheria, pimples, eczema and cholera
infantum, make their appearance. Parents have been taught to look for
these diseases. They have been told that they belong to childhood. This
is a libel on nature, for she tends in the direction of health.
The prevalent idea at present is that various germs, which are found in
water, food, air and earth, are responsible for these diseases, but they
are not. The fact that infants properly cared for do not develop one of
them is proof enough that germs per se are unable to cause these ills.
The germs play their part in most of these diseases, but it is a kindly
part. They are scavengers, and attempt to rid the body of its debris and
poisons. Through false reasoning they are blamed for causing disease,
when in fact their multiplication is an effect. They are a by-product of
disease. The so-called pathogenic bacteria never thrive in the baby's
body until the infant has been overfed or fed on improper food long
enough to break down its resistance.
The improper feeding not only kills an army of babies each year, but it
handicaps the survivors very seriously. The degenerated condition of the
system leaves every child with some kind of weakness. The foundation may
be laid for indigestion, catarrhal troubles, which may or may not be
accompanied with adenoids and impeded breathing, glandular troubles,
often precursors of tuberculosis, in fact children may be acquiring any
disease during infancy from chronic catarrh to rheumatism.
Mental ills are also results of senseless feeding. A healthy baby is
happy. A sick baby is cross. Crossness and anger are mental perversions.
Anger is temporary insanity. Enough overfeeding often results in mental
perversity, epilepsy and even in real insanity. A healthy body gives a
healthy mind. If people would care for their bodies properly, especially
in the line of eating, the asylums for the insane would not be needed
for their present purposes.
Another serious trouble that takes root from infant overfeeding is an
abnormal craving for stimulants. This craving may later on be satisfied
in many ways. Some use coffee, alcohol, habit-forming drugs. Others try
to satisfy it by overeating. No matter how the sufferer proceeds to
satisfy this craving, he does not cure it, for it grows upon what it is
fed. Morphine calls for more morphine. Tobacco calls for more tobacco.
An oversupply of food calls for more food or alcohol. The victim at last
dies a martyr to his abnormal appetites.
Comparatively few of those who see the error of their ways have the will
power to thrust off the shackles of habit. Very few think clearly enough
and go far enough back to realize that disease and early death are so
largely due to the habits formed for the infant or unborn babe by the
parents. And the parents received the same kind of undesirable legacy
from their parents, and so it goes, the children suffering for the sins
of the parents. The cheerful part of such a retrospect is that there is
much room for improvement, that we need not continue this seemingly
unending chain of physical bondage to the next generation, and that if
the children are not born right or treated right during infancy, there
is still time to make a change for the better. Nature is kind and with
will and determination a change can be made at any time that will result
in betterment, provided such grave diseases have not taken hold of the
body that recuperation is impossible. This is no excuse for making
delays, for the longer errors are permitted the harder they are to
overcome.
Three or four feedings a day are sufficient for any baby. The feedings
should be arranged so that they are evenly distributed during the day,
and nothing is to be given at night except water. Get a nursing bottle
or two. Keep the bottles and the nipples scrupulously clean. These are
to be used as water bottles. The water must also be clean. Heat it to
103 or 104 degrees Fahrenheit, so that it will be from 98 to 100 degrees
warm when it enters the baby's mouth Let the baby have some water three
or four times during the day, and perhaps it will want some once or
twice during the night, but give it no milk at night.
Overfed babies are irritable and cry often. The mothers interpret this
as a sign of hunger. Most babies do not know what hunger is. Like adults
they become thirsty, but instead of getting water to quench their thirst
they are given milk. This satisfies for a little while, then the
irritability due to milk spoiled, in the alimentary tract causes more
restlessness and crying, and they are fed again. The comedy of errors
continues until it is turned into a tragedy.
How much should the baby be fed at a time? When the parents are healthy
and the baby is born right and then fed but three times a day, the food
intake will regulate itself. The child will not usually want more than
it should have of milk, supplemented with water. The best way to begin
is to let the infant take what it desires. That is, let the nursing
continue while the infant manifests great pleasure and zest. When the
child begins to fool with the breast or bottle, the source of
nourishment should be removed immediately. The child will increase its
intake gradually.
Some of the babies will take too much. The evil results will soon be
evident, and then the mother must not compromise, but reduce the intake
at once. The signs of over-consumption of food by the infants are the
same as those shown by adults. They are discomfort and disease. The
former manifests in crossness and irritability. The disease may be of
any kind, ranging from a rash to a high fever.
The baby's stomach is sensitive and resents the excessive amount of food
supplied. So the infant often vomits curdled milk, and some times vomits
before the milk has time to curdle. This is a form of self-protection.
If the mother would heed this sign by withdrawing all food until the
stomach is settled, substituting water in the meanwhile, and then reduce
the baby's food to within digestive capacity, there would be no more
trouble. Vomiting is the infant's way of saying, "Please do not feed me
until my stomach becomes normal again, and then don't give me more than
I need, and that is less than I have been getting." Remember that it is
nature's sign language, which never misleads, and it is so plain that
any one with ordinary understanding should get its meaning, in spite of
the erroneous popular teachings. After the child has vomited, feed
moderately and increase its food supply as its digestive ability
increases.
If the vomiting is wrongly interpreted and overfeeding is continued,
either the baby dies or the stomach establishes a toleration, passing
the trouble on to other parts of the body. One organ never suffers long
alone. The circulation passes the disease on to other parts, assisted by
the sympathetic nerves, which are present in all parts of the body.
When the stomach has established its toleration, several things may
happen, only a few of which will be discussed, for the process is
essentially the same, though the results appear so different. In infants
whose digestive power is not very strong the excessive amount of milk
curdles, as does the part that is digested. The water of the milk is
absorbed, but the curds pass into the colon without being digested and
they are discharged in the stool as curds. They are partly decomposed on
the journey through the alimentary canal, producing poisons, a part of
which is absorbed. A part remains in the colon, making the bowel
discharges very offensive.
The passage of curds in the stool is a danger signal indicating
overfeeding and should be heeded immediately. If it is not, the chances
for a ease of cholera infantum, especially in warm weather, are great.
Cholera infantum is due to overfeeding, or the use of inferior milk, or
both. It is a form of milk poisoning, in which the bowels are very
irritable. As a matter of self-protection they throw out a large
quantity of serum, which soon depletes the system of the poor little
sufferer, and death too often claims another young life. If cholera
infantum makes its appearance the baby is given its best chance to live
if feeding is stopped immediately, warm water given whenever desired,
but not too large quantities at a time. Give no cathartics, for they
irritate an already seriously disturbed mucous membrane, but give a
small enema of blood-warm water once or twice a day. Keep the baby
comfortable, seeing that the feet and abdomen are kept warm, but give
plenty of fresh air. Medicines only aggravate a malady that is already
serious enough. This disease is produced by abuse so grave that in spite
of the best nursing, the baby often dies. It is easily prevented.
Strong babies with great digestive power are often able to digest and
assimilate enormous quantities of milk, several quarts a day. They can
not use all this food. If they could their size would be enormous within
a short time. They do not find it so easy to excrete the excess as to
assimilate it. The skin, kidneys, lungs and the bowels find themselves
overtaxed. Often the mucous membrane of the nose and throat are called
upon to assist in the elimination. These are the babies who are said to
catch cold easily. Their colds are not caught. They are fed to them.
This constant abuse of the mucous membrane results in inflammation,
subacute in nature, or it may be so mild that it is but an irritation.
The result in time may be chronic catarrh or thickening of the mucous
membrane of nose and throat. While the catarrh is being firmly
established adenoids are quite common.
In other cases too much of the work of excretion is thrown upon the
skin. The same thing happens to this structure as happens to the mucous
membrane. It is made for a limited amount of excretion and when more
foreign matter, much of it of a very irritating nature, is deposited for
elimination through the skin, it becomes inflamed. It itches. In a
little while there is an attack of eczema. The baby scratches, digging
its little nails in with a will. The infant soon has its face covered
with sores and the scalp is scaly. The proper thing to do is to reduce
the feeding greatly. Then the acid-producing fermentation in stomach and
bowels will cease, but enough food to nourish the body will be absorbed,
the skin will have but its normal work to perform, the cause of the
irritation is gone and the effects will disappear in a short time. Two
weeks are often sufficient to bring back the smooth, soft skin that
every baby should have. The sufferers from these troubles are almost
invariably overweight, and the parents wonder why their babies, who are
so healthy, should be troubled thus!
Mothers owe it to their nursing babies to lead wholesome, simple lives.
It is not always possible to live ideally, but every mother can eat
simply and control her temper. Wholesome food and equanimity will go far
toward producing healthful nourishment for the child. Stimulants and
narcotics should be avoided. Meat should not be eaten more than once a
day, and it would be better to use less meat and more eggs or nuts.
Fresh fruits and vegetables should be partaken of daily. They are the
rejuvenators and purifiers. The cereal foods should be as near natural
as possible. The bread should be made of whole wheat flour mostly. If
rice is eaten it should be unpolished. Refined sugar should be taken in
moderation, if at all. The potatoes are best baked. Pure milk is as good
for the mother as it is for the child. Highly seasoned foods or rich
made dishes should be avoided. In short, the mother should live as near
naturally as possible.
The importance of cheerfulness can hardly be overestimated. A nervous
mother who frets or worries, or becomes mastered by any of the negative,
depressing passions, poisons her babe a little with each drop of milk
the child takes.
Some mothers are unable to nurse their babies. This is so because of
lack of knowledge principally, for women who give themselves proper care
are nearly always able to furnish nourishment for their infants. It may
be that this function will be largely lost if the present preponderance
of artificial feeding continues, and if various inoculations are not
stopped. Some mothers find it a great pleasure to nurse their babies.
Others refuse to do so for fear of ruining their figures.
No matter what the reason is for depriving the infant of its natural
food, the parents should realize that its chances for health and life
are diminished by this act. If intelligence and care are used in raising
the bottle-fed babies only a few will die, in fact none will die under
the circumstances, provided they were born with a normal amount of
resistance. So it behooves parents of such babies to be extremely
careful. That there are difficulties in the way, or rather
inconveniences, can not be denied, but there are no insurmountable
obstacles.
The best common substitute for mother's milk is cow's milk. If clean and
given in moderation it will agree with the child and produce no untoward
results.
Instead of using the same bottle all the time, there should be a number,
so that there will be plenty of time to clean them. If three feeds are
given each day, there should be six bottles. If four feeds are given,
eight bottles. Use a set every other day. The bottles should be rinsed
out after being used. Then boil them in water containing soda or a
little lye, rinse in several waters and set them aside. If it is sunny,
let them stand in the sun. Before using, rinse again in sterile water.
The nipples should have equally good care. In feeding babies cleanliness
comes before godliness.
Each bottle is to be used for but one feeding, and as many bottles are
to be prepared as there are to be feedings for the day.
If the people live in the country it is easy to get pure milk. If in the
city one should make arrangements with a reliable milk man possessed of
a conscience. It is well to get the milk from a certain cow, instead of
taking a mixture coming from many cows. Select a healthy animal that
does not give very rich milk, such as the Holstein. She should have what
green food she wants every day, grass in summer, and hay of the best
quality and silage in winter. The grain ration should be moderate, for
cows that are forced undergo quick degeneration. They are burned out.
The cow should not be worried or whipped. She should be allowed to be
happy, and animals are happy if they are treated properly. The water
supply should be clean, not from one of the filthy tubs or troughs which
disgrace some farms. The barn should be light and well ventilated. It
should be kept clean and free from the ammonia fumes which are found in
filthy stables. The cow should be brushed and the udder washed before
each milking. The milker should wash his hands and have on clothes from
which no impurities will fall. The first part of the milk drawn should
not be put in with that which is to supply the baby. The milk should be
drawn into a clean receptacle and immediately strained through sterile
surgeon's cotton into glass bottles. These are to be put aside to cool,
the contents not exposed to the dust falling from the air. Or the milk
may be put directly into the nursing bottles and put aside in a cold
place until needed. Then warm milk to 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
Pardon a little repetition: If possible let the child nurse. If there is
not enough milk, let the baby take what there is and give cow's milk in
addition. If it is impossible to feed the baby at the breast, get the
milk from a healthy cow that is kept clean, well fed and well treated.
The cow's milk should be prepared as follows: Take equal parts of milk
and water. Or take two parts of milk and one part of water. Mix, and to
this may be added sugar of milk in the proportion of one level
teaspoonful to the quart. Before feeding raise the temperature of the
milk to about 104 degrees Fahrenheit, so that it will be about 100
degrees when fed. It is best to do the warming in a water bath.
Milk should not be kept long before being used. Limit the age to
thirty-six hours after being drawn from the cow. Twenty-four hours would
be better. The evening milk can safely be given to the infant the next
day, if proper precautions have been taken. Ordinary milk is quite
filthy and upon this babies do not thrive. Make an effort to get clean
milk for the baby.
The composition of human milk and cow's milk is about as follows:
====================================================================
Water Albumin Fat Sugar Salts
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Human .......... 87.58 2.01 3.74 6.37 .30
Cow's .......... 87.27 3.39 3.68 4.97 .72
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The albumin in human milk is largely of a kind which is not coagulated
by souring, while nearly all the albumin in cow's milk coagulates. The
uncoagulated albumin is digested and taken up more easily by the baby's
nutritive system than that which is coagulated. This is one of the
reasons that babies do not thrive so well on cow's milk as on their
natural food.
The sugar of milk is not like refined sugar. Although it is not so
easily dissolved in water, and therefore does not taste as sweet as
refined sugar, it is better for the child. If sugar is added to the
milk, milk sugar should be used. The druggists have it in powder form.
The addition of barley water and lime to the baby's milk is folly. The
various forms of modified milk do not give as good results as the
addition of water and a little milk sugar, as previously described. If
you believe in such modifications as the top milk method and the
addition of starchy substances and lime water, I refer you to your
family physician or text-books on infant feeding.
It is difficult to improve on good cow's milk. It is well to remember
that the human organism is very adaptable, even in infancy. The
principal factors in infant feeding are cleanliness and moderation.
Bottle-fed babies should be given fruit or vegetable juices, or both,
very early and it would be well to give a little of these juices to
breast-fed babies too. The latter do not require as much as the former.
Begin during the first month with a teaspoonful of orange juice put into
the drinking bottle once a day. Increase gradually until at four or five
months the amount may be from one to two tablespoonfuls. Do not be
afraid to give the orange juice because it is acid, for it splits up
quickly in the stomach and is rearranged, forming alkaline salts. It is
the fruit that can be obtained at nearly all seasons. It is best to get
mild oranges and strain the juice. The fruit is to be in prime
condition. Instead of orange juice, the juice of raw celery, spinach,
cabbage, apples, blackberries and other juicy fruits and vegetables may
be employed, but these juices must all come from fruits or vegetables
that are in prime condition. No sugar is to be added to either the fruit
or the vegetable juices.
The mother's milk coagulates in small flakes, easily acted upon by the
digestive juices, after which they are readily absorbed. Cow's milk
coagulates into rather large pieces of albumin which are tough and
therefore rather difficult to digest. This happens when the milk is
taken rapidly and undiluted. However, when diluted and taken slowly this
tendency is overcome to a great degree. For this reason it is best to
get nipples with small perforations.
Either pasteurization or sterilization of milk is almost universally
recommended by medical men. Even those who do not believe in such
procedures generally fail to condemn them without qualifying statements.
For a discussion of this fallacy I refer you to the chapter on milk.
Do not give the little ones any kinds of medicines. They always do harm
and never any good. If any exception is made to this, it is in the line
of laxatives or mild cathartics, such as small doses of castor oil,
cascara segrada or mineral waters, but there is no excuse for giving
metallic remedies, such as calomel. If the babies are fed in moderation
on good foods they will not become constipated. If they are imprudently
handled and become constipated it is necessary to resort to either the
enema or some mild cathartic. Bear in mind that such remedies do not
cure. They only relieve. The cure will come when the errors of life are
corrected so that the body is able to perform its work without being
obstructed.
Inoculations and vaccinations are serious blunders, often fatal. The
animal products that are rubbed or injected into the little body are
poisonous. They are the result of degenerative changes--diseases--in the
bodies of rabbits, horses, cows and other animals. Nature's law is that
health must be deserved or earned. Health means cleanliness, so it
really is absurd to force into the body these products of animal decay.
Statistics can be given, showing how beneficial these agents are, but
they are misleading. In the days of public and official belief in
witchcraft it was not difficult to prove the undoubted existence of
witches. Whatever the public accepts as true can with the utmost ease be
bolstered up with figures.
The use of serums, bacterins, vaccines and other products of the
biologic laboratory is almost an obsession today. Their curative and
preventive values are taken for granted. Most of the time the children
are strong enough to throw off the poisons without showing prolonged or
pronounced effects, but every once in a while a child is so poisoned
that it takes months for it to regain health and too often death is the
end. Sometimes the death takes place a few minutes after the injection,
but we are informed that the medication had nothing to do with it. To
poison the baby's blood deliberately is criminal. Give the little one a
fair chance to live in health. A properly cared for baby will not be ill
for one single day. Knowledge and good care will prevent sickness.
A baby that is able to remain well a month or a week or a day can remain
well every day.
At first a normal baby sleeps nearly all the time, from twenty to
twenty-two hours a day. The infant should not be disturbed. All that
should be done for it is to feed it three times a day, give it some
water from the bottle three or four times a day, and keep it clean, dry
and warm, but not hot.
Most babies are bathed daily. This is all right, but the baths are to be
given quickly. The water should be about 100 degrees Fahrenheit. The
soap should be of the mildest, such as a good grade of castile, and it
should be well rinsed off, for soap permitted to remain in the pores
acts as an irritant. Dry the skin so well with a soft cloth that there
will be no chapping or roughness. Sores, eruptions and inflammations are
signs of mismanagement. Use no powders that are metallic in character,
such as zinc oxide. A dusting powder of finely ground talcum is good. If
the child is kept dry and dean and moderately fed the skin will remain
in good condition.
Babies do not thrive without good air. Keep the room well ventilated at
all times by admitting fresh air from a source that will produce no
draughts. It is not necessary to have the baby's room warm. In fact a
cool room is better. When the child is to be exposed to the air, take it
into a warm room. Soft coverings will keep the infant warm. The limbs
should be free so that exercise can be had through unrestricted
movements.
The baby should not be bothered unnecessarily. Young parents make the
mistake of using the baby for show purposes. For the sake of politeness,
others praise the "only baby in the world" unduly, though there are
millions of others just as good. Let the child alone, thus giving it an
opportunity to become as superior as the parents think it is. The
showing off process creates excitement and lays the foundation for
fretfulness, irritability and nervousness. The child thrives in a
peaceful atmosphere. When it is awake it is well to talk to it quietly
and soothingly, for thus the infant begins to learn its mother's tongue.
Good language should be employed. Those who teach their children
baby-talk are handicapping them, for they will soon have to unlearn this
and learn real language. Baby-talk may be "cute" at eighteen months, but
when children retain that mode of expression beyond the age of four or
five it sounds silly.
At about the age of nine or ten months the breast-fed babe should be
weaned. Gradual weaning is perhaps the best. First give one feeding of
cow's milk a day and two breast feeds; then two feedings of cow's milk
and one at the breast, and at last cow's milk entirely. Between the ages
of nine and twelve months begin giving starchy foods. At first the child
will take very little, and gradually increase. Give bread so stale that
the child has to soak it with its saliva before it can swallow the
bread. Working away this way, sucking the stale bread, the child learns
to go through the motions of chewing, and this is valuable training.
Never give bread soaked in milk and never feed milk while bread is being
eaten. If the meal is to be bread and milk, give the bread either before
any milk is taken, or afterwards. Starches are not to be washed down
with liquids. Instead of giving stale bread, zwieback may be used.
Occasionally feed a few spoons of very thin and well cooked oatmeal or
whole wheat gruel, but the less sloppy food given the better, for it
does not get the proper mouth treatment. The wheat products fed the
child should be made from whole wheat flour, or at least three-fourths
whole wheat and only one-fourth of the white flour. The refined flour is
lacking in the salts that the child needs for health and growth.
Many mothers begin feeding starches when the baby is four or five months
old. The child is given potatoes, bread or any other starchy food that
may be on the table. This is a mistake, for the child is not prepared to
digest starches at that early age. Some of the digestive ferments are
practically absent during the first few months of life. Such feeding
will invariably cause trouble. The baby should not be taken to the
table.
It is quite generally believed that a baby should cry to exercise its
lungs. A healthy, comfortable baby will do little or no crying, and it
is not necessary. It is not difficult to give the little ones some
exercise to fill their lungs. Babies can hang on to a finger or a thin
rod tenaciously. Elevate the infant that does not cry thus a few times
above the bed and let it hang for a few seconds each time. This throws
the chest forward and exercises the lungs. What is more, this small
amount of gymnastic work is thoroughly enjoyed. It helps to build
strength and good temper. The crying helps to make the baby ill-tempered
and fretful. A little crying now and then is all right, but much
indicates discomfort, disease or a spoiled child. It would surprise most
mothers how good babies are when they have a chance to be good.
After reading this, some are sure to ask how many ounces to feed the
baby. I don't know. No one else knows. Different babies have different
requirements. The key is given above. If the babies become ill it is
nearly always due to overfeeding and poor food, so the proper thing to
do is to reduce the food intake.
A healthy baby is a source of unending joy, while a sick one saps the
mother's vitality. It is too bad that the art of efficient child culture
is so little known.
CHILDHOOD.
Children may roughly be divided into two types, the robust and the more
delicate or nervous ones. The robust children can stand almost all kinds
of abuse with no apparent harm resulting, but the immunity is only
apparent. The growing child naturally throws off disease influences
easily and quickly, but if the handicap is too great the child loses out
in the race.
The nervous type can not be abused with impunity, for the bodies of
these delicately balanced children are easily disturbed. They must have
more intelligent care than is usually bestowed upon the robust type. If
the care is not forthcoming they become weak in body, with an unstable
nervous system, or perish early.
Some parents complain because other people's children can do what their
own can not and they wonder why. No time should be wasted in making such
comparisons, for no two children are exactly alike, as no two leaves and
not even two such apparently similar objects as grains of wheat are
exactly alike. Therefore the care necessary varies somewhat, though it
is basically the same.
If the nervous type is given proper care, good health will be the
result. These children do not tolerate as much exposure or as much food
as do the robust children. The important thing is to learn what they
require and then see that there is no excess, and in this way allow the
child to grow physically strong and mentally efficient.
The delicate children are perhaps more fortunate than the stronger ones,
for they learn early in life that they have limitations. If they commit
excesses the results are so disagreeable that they soon learn to be
prudent. This prudence serves as protection so long as life lasts.
The robust children on the other hand soon learn that they are strong.
They hear their parents boast about it. They get the idea that because
they are strong they will always remain so, that nothing will do them
any serious harm. By living up to this fallacy they undermine their
constitutions. Parents should teach their children about the law of
compensation as applied to health, that is, he has permanent health who
deserves it, and no one else. The children will not always heed true
teachings after they have left the parental influence, but the parents
have at least done the best they could.
The robust children have their troubles, such as chicken-pox, mumps,
fevers and measles, but these are thrown off so quickly and with so
little inconvenience that they are soon forgotten. As a rule the parents
do not realize that these diseases are due to faulty nutrition, and that
faulty nutrition is caused by improper feeding. It is generally believed
that children must have all the so-called children's diseases. Some
mothers expose their infants to all of these that may happen to be in
the neighborhood, hoping that the children will take them and be through
with them.
Every time a child is sick it is a reflection on either the intelligence
or the performance of the parents. It is natural for children to be
perfectly well, and they will remain in that happy state if they are
given the opportunity. If they are properly fed they will not take any
of the children's diseases in spite of repeated exposure. There is not a
disease germ known to medical science strong enough to establish itself
in the system of an uninjured, healthy child and do damage. The child's
health must first be impaired, through poor care, and then the so-called
disease germs will find a hospitable dwelling place. If children are
given natural food in normal quantities they are disease-proof. Feeding
them on refined sugar and white flour products, pasteurized or
sterilized milk, potatoes fried in grease pickled meats, and various
other ruined foods breaks down their resistance and then they fall an
easy prey to disease.
Some parents make the mistake of believing that they can feed their
children improperly and ward off disease by vaccinations or inoculations
of the products of disease taken from various animals. This is contrary
to reason, common sense and nature and it is impossible. Any individual
who is continually abused in any way, be he infant or adult, will
deteriorate. If the disease is not the one that has been feared, it will
be some other one.
The robust children generally develop into careless adults. That is why
so many of them, in fact the vast majority, die before they are fifty
years old, although they are equipped with constitutions that were
intended to last over a century. They are shining marks for typhoid
fever, Bright's disease, various forms of heart and liver troubles,
rheumatism and pneumonia, all of which are largely caused by too hearty
eating. These diseases often come without apparent warning. That is, the
victims have thought themselves healthy. However, they have not known
what real health is. They have been in a state of tolerable health, not
suffering any very annoying aches or pains, but they have lacked the
normal state of body which results in a clear, keen mind. As a rule
there is enough indigestion present to cause gas in the bowels and a
coated tongue. Enough food is generally eaten to produce excessive blood
pressure.
The foundation for such a state of affairs is laid in childhood, yes,
often before the child is born. It can readily be seen how important it
is for parents to impart a little sound health information to the
children. At least, they should teach them what health really is, which
many people do not know.
When these strong people become sick it is often difficult, or even
impossible, to do anything for them, for their habits are so gross and
have gained such a mastery that the patients will not or can not change
their ways.
The weaklings have a better chance to survive to old age, because many
of them learn to be careful early in life. In reading the lives of
eminent men who have lived long it is common to find that they were
never strong.
At the age of one year the baby is generally weaned. The ordinary child
needs the mother's milk no longer, for by this time the digestive power
is great enough to cope with cow's milk and various starches. The most
important problem now is how to feed the child. If no errors of
importance are made it will enjoy uninterrupted growth and health. If
the errors are many and serious there will surely be disease and too
often the abuse is so great that death comes and ends the suffering.
Until the child reaches the age of two years the best foods are milk,
whole wheat products and fruits. No other foods are necessary. The
simpler the baby's food, and the more naturally and plainly prepared,
the better. Adults who overeat until they suffer from jaded appetites,
may think that they need great variety of food, but it is never
necessary for infants or normal adults. Milk, whole wheat and fruits
contain all the elements needed for growth and strength and health. By
all means feed simply. Children are perfectly satisfied with bread and
milk or simply one kind of fruit at a meal, if they are properly
trained. The craving for a great variety of foods at each meal is due to
parental mismanagement.
Children should not be fed more than three times a day. There should be
no lunching. The children will get all that is good for them, all they
need in three meals. Candy should not be given between meals, and fruit
is to be looked upon as a food, not as a dainty to be consumed at all
hours of the day. If they are not accustomed to lunching, there will be
no craving for lunches. If children are used to four or five meals a day
they want them and raise annoying objections when deprived of one or two
of them. It is easy to get children into bad habits. We can not blame
the average mother for giving her children lunches, for she knows no
better and sees other mothers doing the same.
The children who do not get lunches thrive better than those who always
have candy, fruit or bread and jam at their command. It is the same with
adults. In the Dakotas and Minnesota are many Scandinavians and Germans.
During the haying and harvest these people, who are naturally very
strong, eat four and five times a day. The heat, the excessive amount of
food and the great quantities of coffee consumed cause much sickness
during and after the season of hard work and heroic eating. The
so-called Americans in these communities are generally satisfied with
three meals a day, and they are as well nourished and capable of working
as those who eat much more.
Refined sugar made from cane and beets should be given to children
sparingly. Refined sugar is the chemical which is largely responsible
for the perversion of children's tastes. A normal taste is very
desirable, for it protects the possessor. A perverted taste, on the
contrary, leads him into trouble. Sugar is not a good food. It is an
extract. It is easy to cultivate a desire for sugar, but to people who
are not accustomed to it, concentrated sugar has an unpleasant taste.
The perversion of the sense of taste, generally begun with sugar, is
made worse by the use of much salt, pepper and various condiments and
spices. If the child is fed on unnatural food, highly seasoned, at the
age of a few years its taste is so perverted that it does not know how
most of the common foods really taste, and refuses to eat the best of
them when the health-destroying concoctions to which it has been
accustomed can be had.
It is natural for children to relish fruit, but some are so perverted in
taste that they object to a meal of it if they can get pancakes or
waffles with butter and syrup, mushes with sugar and cream, ham or bacon
with fried potatoes, or fresh bread and meat with pickles. Many parents
allow their children to live on this class of food to the exclusion of
all natural foods. Children need a great deal of the natural salts, and
when they live so largely on denatured foods there is always physical
deterioration. It is true that to the average eye such children may
appear healthy, but they are not in one-half as good physical condition
as they could be.
Tea and coffee should never be given to children. They are bad enough
for adults. In children they retard bodily development. The stimulation
and sedation are bad for the nervous system. Coffee is as harmful as
tobacco for the growing child.
To warn against alcohol may seem foolish, but some parents really give
beer and whiskey to their infants. The beer is given as a beverage and
the whiskey as medicine to kill pain and soothe the children. Those who
have not seen children abused in this way may find it difficult to
believe that there is such a profundity of ignorance. These children die
easily.
Others quiet their children with the various soothing syrups. The last
analyses that came under my eyes showed that these remedies contained
considerable opium, laudanum, morphine and other deadly poisons.
Morphine and opium are not well borne by children and these "mother's
friends" have soothed many a baby into the sleep from which there is no
waking. Make it a rule to give the children no medicines, either patent
or those prescribed by physicians. Please remember that any remedy that
quiets a child is poisonous. Children who get proper care require no
medical quieting.
Condiments should not be used. Salt is not necessary despite the popular
belief to the contrary, though a small amount does no harm. Salt eating
is a habit and when carried to excess it is a bad one. Salt is a good
preservative, but there is little excuse for our using preserved foods
extensively. There are so many foods that can be had without being
preserved in this country that it would not be difficult to exclude
these inferior foods from the dietary. Children whose foods are not
seasoned do not desire seasoning, provided they are fed on natural foods
from the start. They want the seasoning because they are taught to eat
their food that way. If they are given fresh fruit every day, such as
apples, oranges, cherries, grapes and berries, they get all the
seasoning they need and they get it in natural form.
The objection is made that such feeding deprives children of many of the
good things of life. This is not true. Natural foods taste better than
the doctored ones every time. Nature imparts a flavor to food products
which man has never been able to equal, to say nothing of surpassing it.
Children are taught to like abnormal foods. What is better, to give
children good foods upon which they thrive, or denatured foods which
taste well to a perverted palate, but are injurious?
Instead of giving sugar or candy, give raisins, figs, dates or sweet
prunes. Small children may be given the strained juices of these fruits,
obtained either by soaking the raw fruits several hours or by stewing
them. Children who are given these fruits do not crave refined sugar.
They like these natural sugars better than the artificial extract. These
sweet fruits take the place of starchy food.
Very few people know anything definite about food values. Those who have
studied foods and their values in order to be able to feed children
properly generally make the mistake of believing that they should have
all the necessary elements at each meal in about the proper proportion.
This is a grave mistake and leads to trouble. The child needs salts,
protein, sugar and fat, and in the absence of sugar some starch. Milk
contains all these substances except starch. Give one fruit meal and two
meals of starch daily. Milk may be given with all the meals or it may be
given but once or twice. Do not overfeed on milk, for it is a rich food.
Until the child is two years old, confine it in its starch eating pretty
much to the products of whole wheat. Give no white bread. White bread is
an unsatisfying form of food. It is so tasteless and insipid and so
deprived of the natural wheat salts that too much has to be eaten to
satisfy. Children who would be satisfied with a reasonable amount of
whole wheat bread eat more white bread and still do not feel satisfied.
The same is true of rice, the natural brown rice being so superior to
the polished article that there is no comparison.
The bread should be toasted in the oven until it is crisp clear through,
or else it should be stale. Let the bread for toast get stale, and then
place it in the oven when this is cooling off. Make the slices
moderately thin. This is an easy and satisfactory way of making toast.
Scorched bread--what is usually called toast--is not fit food for young
children.
After the second year is completed gradually increase the variety of
starch. Some of the better forms of starch that are easy to obtain are:
Puffed rice or puffed wheat; brown, unpolished rice; triscuit or
shredded wheat biscuit; the prepared corn and wheat flakes; baked
potatoes; occasionally well cooked oatmeal or whole wheatmeal gruel.
Mushes are to be given seldom or never. Children seldom chew them well,
and they require thorough mastication. The rice is not to be sugared but
after the child has had enough, milk may be given. A small amount of
butter may be served with either rice or baked potato. The cereal foods
should be eaten dry. Let the children masticate them, as they should,
and as they will not if the starches are moistened with milk. When they
have had sufficient of these starches, and but one kind is to be served
at a meal, give milk, if milk is to be a part of the meal. To observe
the suggestions here given for the manner of feeding starches to
children may mean the difference between success and failure in raising
them. It is the little things that are important in the care of
children.
The acid fruits should not be given in the meals containing starchy
foods. Strong children who have plenty of opportunity to be in the fresh
air and who are very active can stand this combination, but it is
injurious to the nervous type. It is not a good thing to make such
combinations habitually for robust children. A good meal can be made of
fruit followed by milk. Do not slice the fruit, sprinkle it with sugar
and cover it with cream. Give the child the fruit and nothing else.
Neither oranges nor grapefruits are to be sugared. Their flavor is
better without. If the children want sweets, give them a meal of sweet
fruits.
When the child is eighteen months old it should have learned to
masticate well enough to eat various fruits. Apples, oranges,
grapefruits, berries, cherries, grapes and melons are among the foods
that may be given. If the child does not masticate well, either grind
the fruit or scrape it very fine. The sweet fruits require so much
mastication that only their juices should be fed until the child is old
enough to masticate thoroughly. Bananas should also be withheld until
there is no doubt about the mastication. They must be thoroughly ripe,
the skin being dark in spots and the flesh firm and sweet. A green
banana is very starchy, but a ripe one contains hardly any starch and
digests easily.
At first the meal is fruit, followed with milk. Buttermilk or clabbered
milk may be substituted for sweet milk. A little later, begin giving
cottage cheese occasionally in place of milk, if the child likes it.
The succulent vegetables may be given quite early. At the age of two
years stewed onions, green peas, cauliflower, egg plant and summer
squash may be given. Gradually increase the variety until all the
succulent vegetables are used. At first it may be necessary to mash
these vegetables.
The longer children go without meat the better, and if they never
acquired the meat-eating habit it would be a blessing. If the parents
believe in feeding their children meat, they should wait until the
little ones are at least four years old before beginning. Meats are
digestible enough, but too stimulating for young people. Chicken and
other fowls may be used at first, and it is best to use young birds.
Beef and pork should not be on the children's menu. At the age of seven
or eight the variety may be increased. However, parents who wish to do
the best by their children will give them little or no meat. Many of the
sorrows that parents suffer through their wayward children would be done
away with if the young people were fed on less stimulating foods.
Eggs are better for children than meat. However, it is not necessary to
give them. The children get enough milk to supply all the protein they
need. Eggs may be given earlier than meat. At the age of two and
one-half years an egg may be given occasionally. At three they may be
given every other day, one egg at a meal. At five or six years of age,
an egg may be given daily, but not more than one at a time. If they are
soft boiled, three and one-half minutes will suffice. If hard boiled,
cook them fifteen to twenty minutes. An egg boiled seven or eight
minutes is not only hard but tough. Longer boiling makes the albumin
mellow. Always prepare eggs simply without using grease.
Eggs may be given in combination with either fruits or vegetables. Milk
is not to be taken in the egg meal, for if such combinations are made
the child gets more protein than necessary. Eggs are easy to digest and
the chief objection to their free use in feeding children is that the
protein intake will be too great, which causes disease.
Nuts should not be given until the children are old enough to masticate
them thoroughly. The best combination is the same as for eggs. Children
under six years of age should not have much more than one-half of an
ounce of nut meats at a meal. The pecans are the best. Children rarely
chew nuts well enough, so they should seldom be used. They may be ground
very fine and made into nut butter, which may be substituted for
ordinary butter.
Give no butter until the child has completed his second year. The whole
milk contains all the fat necessary. Butter should always be used in
moderation, for although it digests easily, it is a very concentrated
food.
Again the question will be asked: "How much shall I feed my child?" I do
not know, but I do know that most children get at least three times as
much food as is good for them. People can establish a toleration to a
certain poison, and seemingly take it with impunity for a while. Some
arsenic eaters and morphine addicts take enough of their respective
drugs daily to kill a dozen normal men. However, the drugs, if not
stopped, always ruin the user in the end. It is the same way with food.
Children seem to establish a toleration for an excess for a shorter or
longer period of time, but the overeating always produces discomfort and
disease in the end, and if it is continued it will cause premature
death.
About one-third or one-fourth of what children eat is needed to nourish
them. The rest makes trouble. Read the chapters in this book on
overeating and on normal food intake. They give valuable pointers.
Parents know their children best, and the mother can, or should be able
to tell when there are signs of impending danger. If there is a decided
change in the child's disposition it generally denotes illness. Some
children become very sweet when they are about to be ill, but most of
them are so cranky that they make life miserable for the family. A foul,
feverish breath nearly always comes before the attack. A common danger
signal is a white line around the mouth. Another one is a white, pinched
appearance of the nose. A flushed face is quite common. The tongue never
looks normal. Except the abnormal tongue, these symptoms are not all
present before every attack, but one or more of them generally are. No
matter what the signs of trouble may be, stop all feeding immediately.
If this is done, the disease generally fails to develop, but if feeding
is continued there is sure to be illness. These symptoms indicate that
the digestion is seriously disturbed. It is folly to feed when there is
an acute attack of indigestion. Besides, it is very cruel, for it causes
much suffering.
Such symptoms in children are caused by improper eating, and overeating
is generally the chief fault. The remedy is very simple: Feed less.
A coated tongue indicates too much food. A clean tongue shows that the
digestive organs are working well. If the tongue is not smooth and a
pretty pink in color, it means that the child has had too much food and
the meals must be reduced in quantity until the tongue does become
normal, which may take a few months in chronic cases. Peculiar little
protruding spots when red and prominent on the tip and edges of the
tongue indicate irritation of the alimentary tract and call for
reduction of food intake.
The parents can soon learn how much to feed the children if they will be
guided by these hints. Poor health in the children indicates parental
failure, and this is one place where they can not afford to fail.
Parents must be honest with themselves and not put the blame where the
doctors put it--on bacteria, draughts, the weather, etc. Sometimes the
climate is very trying on the babies, but it never kills those who have
intelligent care.
If it is found that the child next door, of the same age, eats three or
four times as much as your child, do not become alarmed about your
little one, but give the neighbor's child a little silent sympathy
because its parents are ignorant enough to punish the little one so
cruelly.
For those who desire more definite hints regarding feeding of children,
an outline has been prepared for several days. This is very simple
feeding, but it is the kind of feeding that will make a rose bloom in
each cheek. The child will be happy and contented and bring joy to the
hearts of the parents.
Breakfast: Whole wheat toast, butter and a glass of milk.
Lunch: A baked apple and a dish of cottage cheese.
Supper: Steamed or boiled brown rice and milk.
Breakfast: Puffed wheat and milk.
Lunch: Oranges and milk.
Supper: An egg, parsnips and onions, both stewed.
Breakfast: Oatmeal or whole wheat porridge and milk.
Lunch: Berries and milk.
Supper: Baked potato, spinach and a plate of lettuce.
Breakfast: Shredded wheat biscuit and milk.
Lunch: Stewed prunes and milk or cottage cheese.
Supper: Whole wheat toast and milk.
These are merely hints. Where one juicy fruit is suggested, another may
be substituted. In place of the succulent vegetables named, others may
be used. Any of the starches may be selected in place of the ones given.
However, no mistake will be made in using the whole wheat products as
the starch mainstay.
Desserts should not be fed to children often. Rich cakes and all kinds
of pies should be omitted from the bill of fare. It is true that some
children can take care of them, but what is the use of taking chances? A
plain custard, lightly flavored, may be given with toast. If ice cream
is above suspicion a moderate dish of this with some form of starch may
be given, but milk is not to be taken in the same meal with either ice
cream or custard.
At the end of the third year it is time enough to begin to feed the
salad vegetables, though they may be given earlier to children who
masticate well. The dressing should be very plain, nothing more than a
little salt and olive oil, or some clabbered cream. No dressing is
necessary. The salad vegetables may be eaten with the meal containing
eggs and the stewed succulent vegetables.
At the age of about seven or eight the child may be put on the same diet
as the parents, provided they live simply. Otherwise, continue in the
old way a little longer. For the best results in raising children,
simplicity is absolutely necessary.
Children who are early put on a stimulating diet develop mental and
sexual precocity, both of which are detrimental to physical welfare. The
first desideratum is to give the children healthy bodies, and then there
will be no trouble in giving them what knowledge they need.
In overfed boys the sex urge is so strong that they acquire secret
habits, and sometimes commit overt acts. Too much protein is especially
to blame. These facts are not understood by many and the result is that
the parents fail in their duty to their children.
It is best not to bring young children to the table, if there is
anything on it that they should not have, for it nearly always results
in improper feeding. The children are curious and they beg for a little
of this and a little of that. Unthinkingly the parents give them little
tastes and bites and before the meal is over they have had from six to
twelve different kinds of food, some of them not fit for adult
consumption. If the child understands that it is not to ask for these
things and abides by this rule, it is all right, but such children are
rare. A child that fretfully begs for this and that at the table upsets
itself and the parents.
Make no sudden changes in the manner of feeding, unless the feeding is
decidedly wrong.
Active children get all the exercise they need. They should spend a
large part of the day in the open, and this is even more important for
the delicate ones. The bedroom should be well ventilated, but the
children must be kept cozy and warm or they do not sleep well.
After the child is old enough not to soil itself, one or two baths a
week are sufficient. There is no virtue in soaking. Swimming is
different, for here the child is active in the water and it does not
weaken him so. Swimming should be a part of every child's education.
Bed time should be early. The children should be tucked in and the light
turned off by 8 o'clock, and 7 o'clock is better for children under
five. If they want to get up early in the morning, let them, but put
them to bed early at night.
Infants should not be exposed long to the direct rays of the summer sun,
for it is liable to cause illness. It upsets the stomach and then there
is a feverish spell. If nothing is fed that will generally be all, but
it is unnecessary to make babies ill in this way. They should not be
chilled either.
Husband and wife do not agree at all times, but they make a mistake when
they disagree in the presence of their children. Young people are quick
to take advantage of such a state of affairs and they begin to play the
parents against each other. When a point comes up where there is a
difference of opinion, the decision of the parent who speaks first
should stand, at least for the time being. Then when they are by
themselves, man and wife can discuss the matter if it is not
satisfactory, and even quarrel about it, if that gives them pleasure.
Parents who do not control themselves can not long retain the full
respect of their children. Lost respect is not very far distant from
lost love.
People often object to a change in methods, for, they say, the new plan
will cause too much trouble. The plan here outlined causes less trouble
than the conventional method of caring for children. It is simpler and
gives better results. If it were followed out the mortality of children
under ten years of age in this country would be reduced from over
400,000 annually to less than 25,000. In spite of everything, a number
of young people will get into fatal pranks.
There are difficulties in the way of raising children properly, but a
healthy child is such a great reward that the efforts are paid for a
hundred times over. Nothing wears the parents out more quickly than a
child who is always fretting and crying, always on the brink of disease
or in its grasp. In raising children the best way is the easiest way.
THE CHILD'S MENTAL TRAINING.
A healthy body is the child's first requirement. However, if the mental
training is poor, giving wrong views of life, a good physique is of but
little service.
It is quite generally agreed among observers that the first seven years
of life leave the mental impressions which guide the whole life, and
that after the age of fourteen the mental trend rarely changes. There
are a few individuals with strength enough to make themselves over
mentally after reaching adult life, but these are so few that they are
almost negligible, and even they are largely influenced by their youth
and infancy. It is as easy to form good mental habits as bad ones. It is
within the power of all parents to give their children healthy bodies
and healthy minds, and this is a duty, which should prove a pleasure.
The reason such heritage is so rare is that it requires considerable
self-control and most parents live chaotic lives.
Upon the mentality depends the success in life. "It is the mind that
makes the body rich." No matter how great an individual's success may
seem in the eyes of the public, if the person lacks the proper
perspective, the proper vision and the right understanding, his success
is an empty thing. Wealth and success are considered synonymous, but I
have found more misery in the homes of the rich than among the poor.
Physical wants can be supplied and the suffering is over, but mental
wants can only be satisfied through understanding, which should be
cultivated in childhood.
"All our problems go back to the child--corrupt politics, dishonesty and
greed in commerce, war, anarchism, drunkenness, incompetence and
criminality."--Moxom.
Given a healthy body and a good mind, every individual is able to become
a useful member of society, and that is all that can be expected of the
average individual. All can not be eminent, and it is not necessary.
Upon the child's mental impressions and the habits formed in infancy and
youth depend the mental workings and the habits of later life. Therefore
it is necessary to nurture the little people in the right kind of
atmosphere. If the child is trained properly from infancy there will be
no serious bad habits to overcome during later years, and, as all know,
habits are the hardest of all bonds to break. To overcome the coffee and
alcohol habits is hard, but to overcome bad mental habits is even more
difficult.
First of all, let the infant alone most of the time. Some mothers are so
full of love and nonsense that they take their babies up to cuddle and
love them at short intervals, and then there are the admiring relatives
who like to flatter the parents by telling them that the baby is the
finest one they have seen; it is an exceptional baby. So the relatives
have to bother the infant and kiss it. This should not be. The child
should be kept in a quiet room and should not be disturbed. There are no
exceptional babies. They are all much alike, except that some are a
little healthier than others. If they are let alone, they have the best
opportunity to develop into exceptional men and women.
Paying too much attention to babies makes them cross and irritable. They
soon learn to like and then to demand attention. If they do not get it
at once they become ill-tempered and cry until attention is given. Thus
the foundation of bad temper is laid in the very cradle. They gain their
ends in infancy by crying. Later on they develop the whining habit. When
they grow older they fret and worry. Such dispositions are the faults of
the parents.
It does not take long for children to learn how to get their way, and if
they can do it by being disagreeable, you may be sure that they will
develop the worst side of their nature. Let the child understand that
being disagreeable buys nothing, and there will soon be an end of it.
Children who are well and well cared for are happy. They cause their
elders almost no trouble. To lavish an excessive amount of care on a
baby may be agreeable to the mother at first, but it is different when
it comes to caring for an ill-tempered, spoiled child of eight or nine
years.
Many crimes are committed in the name of love. Many babies are killed by
love. Unless love is tempered by understanding it is as lethal as
poison. Many parents think they are showing love when they indulge their
children, but instead they are putting them onto the road that leads to
physical and mental decay. True love is helpful, kind and patient. The
spurious kind is noisy, demonstrative and impatient.
Do what is necessary for children, but do not allow them to cause
unnecessary work. What they can do for themselves they should do. They
can be taught to be helpful very early. They should be taught to be neat
and tidy. They should learn to dress themselves and how to keep their
rooms and personal effects in good order early in life, no matter how
many servants there may be. These little things are reflected in their
later lives. They help to form the individual's character. It is what we
do that largely make us what we are, and every little act and every
thought has a little influence in shaping our lives. An orderly body
helps to make an orderly mind and vice versa.
Many of the rich children are unfortunate indeed. Some times poor
parents have so many children that each one gets scant attention, but
the children of many of the rich get no parental attention. The parents
are too busy accumulating or preserving a fortune and climbing a social
ladder to bother with their children. Their raising is delegated to
servants. At times the little ones are put on display for a few minutes
and then the parents are as proud of them as they are of the expensive
paintings that adorn the walls or the blooded dogs and horses in kennels
and stables. No amount of paid service can compensate for the lack of
parental love.
The ideal today, especially for female children, seems to be to make
ornaments of them, to train them to be useless. Girls, as well as boys,
should be taught to be useful. They should be taught that those who do
not labor are parasites. If some do not work, others have to work too
hard. The story is told of Mark Twain that he dined with an English
nobleman who boasted that he was an earl and did not labor. "In our
country," said Mark Twain, "we do not call people of your class earls;
we call them hoboes."
It does not matter how wealthy parents are, they should teach their
children how to earn a living, and they should instill into them the
ideal of service, for a life of idleness is a failure. The shirkers and
wasters are not happy. The greatest contentment in life comes from the
performance of good work. Ecstatic love and riotous pleasure can not
last. Work with love and pleasure is good. But love and pleasure without
work are corroding.
Children who are waited upon much become selfish. They soon become
grafters, expecting and taking everything and giving nothing. This is
immoral, for life is a matter of compensation, and consists in giving as
well as in taking. Children should be taught consideration for others,
and should not be allowed to order the servants around; not that it
harms the servants, but it has a bad effect on the children.
Because the child's period of development is so long, it is important to
have a proper adjustment in the home between parents and the children.
Lack of adjustment wears out the parents, especially the mother, and
gives false impressions to the young people. To prevent friction and get
good results, children should be taught obedience. Obedience is one of
the stepping stones to ability to command.
In those homes where the words of the parents are law there is but
little friction. Obedience should be taught from the very start. As soon
as the child realizes that the parents mean what they say and that it is
useless to fret and complain about a command, that is the end of the
matter. How different it is with disobedient children! The parents have
to tell them what to do several times and then the bidding often remains
undone.
Begin to teach obedience and promptness as soon as the children
understand, for it is more difficult later. The older the children the
harder it is. Children know so little and are so conceited that they do
not realize that because of lack of experience, observation and
reflection they can not safely guide themselves at all times. When they
are allowed to act so that they are a nuisance to others and harmful to
themselves, they do not give up this license with good grace. There are
times to be firm and then firmness should be used. It is necessary for
the parents to cooperate.
Various parents have different ways of correcting their children, and it
is not difficult to make them realize that obedience is a part of the
plan of early life. To illustrate: If the children are called for a
meal, they should come promptly. If there is a tendency to lag, tell
them that if they do not come when called they will get nothing to eat
until next mealtime, and act accordingly. This is no cruelty, for no one
is harmed by missing a meal. It generally proves very effective.
At the table, serve the children what your experience has told you they
can take with benefit, without saying anything about it. If they ask for
anything else, give it if you think proper. If not, say no. If they
start to beg and whine, tell them that such conduct will result in their
being sent away from the table, and if they still continue, do as you
have said, and let there be no weakening. This may cause a few very
disagreeable experiences at first, but it is much better to have a few
of them and be through, than to continue year after year to have such
trouble. Some children can eat everything with apparent impunity and
their parents usually pay no attention to what they eat. But there are
others who become ill if they are improperly fed. Children who are often
feverish and take all the diseases peculiar to the young, are
maltreated. They are not properly fed. Those who are prone to
convulsions must be fed with great care, or there is danger of their
becoming epileptics. Firmness in such cases generally means the
difference between health and disease or even death.
By all means be firm in such matters. Indulging the children to excess
is invariably harmful. When your children become ill and die, you can
truly say, "Behold my handiwork."
In the same way teach the children to do promptly whatever they are told
to do. If they are told to go to bed, it should be done without delay or
protest. All the little duties that fall to their lot should likewise be
accomplished promptly. However, the parents should be reasonable and
they should avoid bombarding their children with commands to do or not
to do a thousand and one things that do not matter at all. Let the
children alone except when it is really necessary to direct them.
Unfortunately, most of the parents are blind to their own faults, but
see very clearly those of others. The mistakes they make in their own
families open their eyes to those of others, and then they are often
very impatient. I know one gentleman who has excellent knowledge of the
proper training of the young, but as a parent he is a total failure. He
is so explosive and lacking in patience and firmness, perhaps also in
love, that his knowledge has not helped him. It is not what we know, but
what we apply, that makes or mars.
Obedience reduces friction and trains the children into habits of
efficiency. It is not only valuable in preserving the health of the
parents, but in increasing the child's earning capacity when the time
comes to labor in earnest.
Plato said that democracies are governed as well as they deserve to be.
Likewise, parents get as much obedience, respect, affection and love as
they deserve, and the three latter are largely dependent upon the
former. It would be difficult to overemphasize the importance of
obedience.
In nature we find that the animals teach their young how to live
independently as soon as they have the strength to care for themselves.
This is what parents should teach their children. This may cause the
mother pain, for many mothers like to keep their children helpless,
dependent and away from contact with the world as long as possible. Wise
mothers do not handicap their children thus. The best parents are those
who teach their children early how to make their own way.
Doubtless the greatest happiness is to be found in a congenial family,
where the parents understand and love each other and their children.
Those parents who are so busy that they lack the time to become
acquainted with their infants and keep up this intimacy, are losing a
part of life that neither money nor social position can give them. Many
wait until too late to get on intimate terms with their children. When
young, the children are naturally loving and then the beautiful ties
which neither time nor misfortune can sunder are formed. When the
children are grown it is too late to establish such a relation. Then
they look at their parents with as critical eyes as they use toward
other people, and though they may become very good friends, the tender
love is lacking. Love between man and woman is unstable, but the
beautiful love that springs from companionship of children and parents
lasts until the end.
While some mothers neglect their children, many become too absorbed in
them. The children become all of the mother's life. As the young people
become older, their horizon naturally widens. During infancy the parents
can fill the child's whole life, but soon other interests crave
attention. There is always a tragedy in store for the mother who refuses
to see that her children, as they grow older, will demand the human
experience necessary for individual growth and development. If the
mother has no other interest than her children she will one day be left
with a heart as empty as the home from which the children are gone.
There are so many interesting things in this world, and every mother
should have her hobby. She should have at least one hour each day sacred
to herself, in which she can relax and cultivate the mind. This will
help to fill the coming years, which too often prove barren. Loving
parents get all the reward they should expect from the beautiful
intimacy that exists between them and their growing children. So-called
ungrateful children have incompetent parents. Parents have no right to
demand gratitude. They do no more for their children than was done for
themselves in the morning of their lives. The right kind of parents
never want for rewards. They are repaid every day so long as they live.
Children grow under the care of their parents, but the parents also grow
and expand in understanding, sympathy and love through association with
their children.
Today society does not treat the mothers with the proper consideration.
The mothers deserve well, for they have to give many of their best years
to the children. These are the productive years, and generally unfit the
women to go into economic competition with the rest of the world
afterwards. Society owes it to the mothers of the race to see that they
are not made to suffer for fulfilling their destiny. Motherhood today is
as dangerous as the soldier's life, though it ought not to be, and it is
more difficult to raise children than to conduct a successful business.
However, the financial rewards for motherhood are generally nil. The
least society can do is to see that these women do not want for the
necessities of life.
Most children are interrogation points. This is well, for they learn
through curiosity. The questions should be answered honestly, or not at
all. It is common to give untrue answers. This is poor policy, for the
answers are a part of the child's education and untruths make the young
people ignorant and superstitious. It takes considerable patience to
raise a child and he who is unwilling to exercise a little patience has
no right to become a parent.
Whether to use corporeal punishment or not is a question that the
parents must decide for themselves. Many parents are in the habit of
nagging their children. It is, "Don't do this," and "Don't do that,"
until the little ones feel as exasperated as the Americans in Berlin,
where everything that one has an impulse to do is "Verboten." The
children have not yet acquired caution, nor are they able to think of
more than one or two things at a time. Consequently they forget what
they are not to do, and then parental wrath descends upon them. Parents
can well afford to be deaf and blind to many things that happen. Those
mothers who are ever shouting prohibitions soon cultivate a fretful,
irritable tone that is bad for all concerned, and which does not breed
respect and obedience. Make it a rule not to interfere with the children
except when it is necessary, and tell them to do but one thing at a
time.
If too many commands and prohibitions are issued, the children are prone
to forget them all. If they are talked to less, what is said is more
deeply impressed on their minds, and the chances are that they will
remember. Boisterousness is not badness, but indicates a state of
well-being, which results in bodily activity, including the use of the
vocal cords. It is common to all young animals, and the human animal is
the only one that is severely punished for manifesting happiness.
If the parents decide that corporeal punishment is necessary, they
should be sure that it has been deserved, for a child resents being
punished unjustly, and undeserved punishment is always harmful. Many
parents become so angry that they inflict physical punishment to relieve
their own feelings, and this is very wrong. If a parent calmly decides
that his child needs punishment, perhaps this is the case. The
punishment should be given calmly. Nothing can be more cowardly and
disgusting than the brutal assault of an angry parent upon a defenseless
child, and such parents always regret their actions if they have any
conscience, but they are generally of such poor moral fibre and so full
of false pride that they fail to apologize to the children for the
injustice done. These parents inflict suffering upon their children, but
they punish themselves most of all, for they kill filial regard and
love. Children have a very keen sense of fair play.
If it is decided to administer corporeal punishment, it should have
enough sting to it so that it will be remembered. Parents who temper
their justice with patience and love are not compelled to resort to
corporeal punishment often.
Children should never be hit on the head. Pulling or boxing the ears
should not be recognized as civilized warfare. Blows on the head may
partly destroy the hearings and affect the brain.
Another thing that may not come under the head of punishment in the
strictest sense, is lifting children by one of the arms. Women are prone
to do this. Often it partly dislocates the elbow joint. The children
whine and no one knows exactly what is the matter. If one arm is
occupied and the child has to be lifted from curb to street or over a
puddle, stoop and pass the unoccupied arm about the child's body and no
harm will be done.
No one should suggest to the child that it is bad. It is better to dwell
upon goodness. If a child is often told that it is bad, it will soon
begin to live up to its name and reputation, just as adults often do.
Many parents are in the habit of scaring their children. If the little
ones cry or disobey, they are told that the boogy-man is coming after
them, or they are threatened with being put out into the dark, or
perhaps some animal or bad person is coming to get them. Fear is
injurious to everybody, being ruinous to both the body and the mind, and
it is especially bad for growing children. The fear instilled in them
during childhood remains with some people to the end of life. It is not
uncommon to find people who dare not go out alone after dark because
they were scared in childhood. Children like exciting stories that would
naturally inspire fear, but it is not difficult for the reader or story
teller to inform the little ones that there are no big black bears or
bold robbers in the neighborhood, and that now there is nothing to fear
in the darkness.
Many teach the children to be ashamed of their bodies. Every part of the
body has its use and whatever is useful is good. Those who do not abuse
their bodies have nothing of which to be ashamed.
The education of children in the past has been along wrong lines. It has
been the aim to cram them full of isolated facts, many of them untrue.
We are slowly outgrowing this tendency, but too much remains. Thanks
largely to Froebel and Doctor Montessori, our methods are growing more
natural. The adult learns by doing and so does the child. Doctor
Montessori teaches the children to use all their senses. She gives them
fabrics of various textures and objects of different shapes and colors.
Thus they learn colors, forms, smoothness, roughness, etc. She teaches
them how to dress and undress and how to take their baths. She lets them
go about the schoolroom instead of compelling them to sit still at their
desks in cramped positions. In this way they get knowledge that they
never forget. They learn to read and write and figure in playful ways
through the proper direction of their curiosity. Little tots of four, or
even younger, are often able to read, and there has been no forcing. All
has come about through utilizing the child's curiosity.
If children are delicate, they should not be put into a schoolroom with
thirty or forty other children. Keep such children outdoors when the
weather permits and allow them to become strong. The education will take
care of itself later. There is nothing to be gained by overtaxing a
delicate child in the schoolroom, which too often is poorly ventilated,
and having a funeral a little later.
Children should be taught the few simple fundamental rules of nutrition
until they are second nature. A thorough knowledge of the fact that it
is very injurious to eat when there is bodily or mental discomfort is
worth ten thousand times as much to a child as the ability to extract
cube root or glibly recite, "Arma virumque cano Trojae," etc. The
realization that underchewing and overeating will cause mental and
physical degeneration is much more valuable than the ability to
demonstrate that a straight line is the shortest distance between two
points. This knowledge can be given so unobtrusively that the child does
not realize that it is learning, for there are many opportunities.
When a child gets sick and is old enough to understand, instead of
sympathizing with it explain how the illness came about, and please
remember that in explaining you can leave the germs out of the question,
for diseases of childhood are almost entirely due to improper feeding.
The value of education like that is beyond any price, for it is a form
of health insurance. Reforming the race, means that we must begin with
the children.
In parts of Europe cultured people have a working knowledge of two or
three languages. This is certainly convenient. Those who wish their
children to know one or two tongues beside English should remember that
in infancy two tongues are learned as readily as one, if they are
spoken. Those who can use three languages when they are four years old
are not infant prodigies. They have had the opportunity to learn, and
languages are simply absorbed. The language teaching in the public
schools is a joke. After taking several years of French or German the
school children can not speak about the common things of life in those
tongues, though they may know more about the grammar than the natives.
In other words, they know the science of the language, but not the
language itself.
A time comes when the child wants to know about the origin of life. If
the parents have been companions, they can impart this knowledge better
than anyone else. If they are unable to explain, the family doctor
should be able to impart the knowledge with delicacy. I do not believe
that such knowledge should be imparted to mixed classes in the public
schools, as advocated by some. If the parents do their duty, there will
be no need of public education in sex hygiene.
The doctor should be an educator, so he merits consideration here.
Nearly all families have their medical advisers, and these professional
people have it in their power to bring more sunshine into the homes than
their fees will pay for. On the other hand, they can, and too often do,
give both advice and remedies that are harmful They should sow seeds of
truth. If the infant is properly cared for, it is never ill. Inasmuch as
there are but few families with sufficient knowledge to keep their
babies healthy at all times, there are many calls for the doctor.
Parents are generally unduly alarmed about their infants. Nearly always
the trouble is primarily in the alimentary tract, due to improper
feeding, and the doctor with his wide experience can relieve the
parental anxiety, and at the same time tell them where they have made
their mistakes and how they have brought suffering upon their little
ones.
Of course, there should be no dosing with medicine and no injections of
foreign matter into the blood stream. Rest, quiet, cleanliness and
warmth are what the children need to restore them to health. The right
kind of physician when acting as adviser to intelligent parents who wish
to do the best by their children will see to it that there is little or
no disease.
If the parents do not know what to do, the most economical procedure is
to consult a physician who has understanding of and confidence in
nature. Pay no attention to the women of many words who give advice
"because they have had many children and have buried them all."
It is not as difficult to raise healthy children as sickly ones. It is
so simple that it takes many pages to explain it.