At this time the Chancellor being among the Oxonii there was instituted a
contest of horses such as this nation is accustomed to celebrate every
spring. And this contest is of such a kind, not being well arranged
according at least to my opinion:--Having dug trenches and built other
ramparts parallel indeed to each other but transversely to the running of
the horses themselves, they do not any longer stand round them invoking
the gods as those do who play golf, but on the contrary, when they have
placed men upon horses they cause them to cross these by leaping under
the lash, as far as the goal: and whoever anticipates the others arriving
at the goal, sitting at least on the same horse on which sitting he set
out, and not it running, having left him behind, nor he himself on foot,
he is considered to have conquered. The reason why I said that this
contest is not well arranged, is of the following kind: because it being
possible to contend in a level place without danger or difficulty, the
Oxonii nevertheless themselves make obstacles so as to prevent the horses
from (not) arriving at the end of the course, neither being compelled nor
there being any necessity ([Greek text]). Then, however, they did these
things, and also, as they are accustomed to do on such occasions, they
sent messengers to inquire of other prophets and also of the Delphic
oracle who should be the conqueror. The Pythian priestess, being mindful
how she had formerly made a good shot in respect of the Median business,
replied in the hexameter rhythm that the issues of victory lay around a
wooden wall. Now having this as a proof I will neither refuse to believe
in oracles myself nor allow others to disbelieve them. For when the race
had begun and the horses had been sent away by the sound of a trumpet,
other men were taking part in the contest, and also Pheron the son of
Trapezites a Corinthian: this is not the Pheron who, his father having
founded a city, was himself expelled from it by the few, who were called
Hetairi, because he had allied himself with the democracy forsooth
([Greek text]). And there are other things written about this Pheron in
the history composed by Proctor, who was tyrant of Oxonia second himself
for one year, and in fact caused Pheron to fall out by reason of
sedition. What I have said just now is a digression and refers to other
matters, and I will now come back to my former story. So then the men,
having in the first part of the contest done things worthy of themselves,
and having for the most part, although not all, yet the majority, avoided
the (not) falling into ditches and the like incurably at least, came
presently to the wooden fence, which I conjecture to be the wall meant by
the Delphic oracle. It being then necessary either remaining on the
hither side to be driven away from all hope of the prize or leaping to
run risks concerning their lives, and the rest having leapt in such a way
that they crossed the fence sitting rather upon the ground than upon
their horses, and some neither with them nor upon them, as the
Lacedaemonians say about their shields: this Pheron, of whom I have
before made mention, showed himself to be prudent in other things and
also in this. He, having a horse much the most active of all the rest,
was not left behind by it, but sat there holding on firmly until he had
arrived at the farther side; and from thence, the race being easy for
him, he came to the goal very much the first, having anticipated. In
this way he obtained the prize. I have learnt the names of all the other
competitors: but I do not think it proper to relate them, not now at
least.
When the spectators had seen these things (and there was also a contest
for the natives of the country, in which not a few were roughly handled)
they returned in chariots to the city, driving not straight like the
Greeks, but obliquely, as is customary. This story some relate, relating
things credible to me at least; there being two Oxonii in one chariot,
and no one else, one of them entreated the other after they had gone some
way without misfortune that he also might be allowed to hold the reins of
the horses: to whom the other replied "But--for do you not already hold
them?" These men then having left such a memorial of themselves did
nevertheless arrive safely at the city.
TAC. HIST., BK. VI.
DE AVLA S. EDMVNDI.
1. Nunc initia causasque motus Mauretanici expediam. Mauretaniam post
decessum Tedimurii cuicumque servitio expositam avaritia et mala cupidine
fines augendi contemptis populi studiis occupaverant Brigantes, barbara
gens. mox rectorem imposuere e sacerdotibus Peripateticorum instituta
professum. non tulere Mauri intempestivam sapientiam. namque ut
divitias ita librorum scientiam contemptui habent: et est plerisque
indocta canities.
2. Pollebat inter Mauros Rursus quidam Aratus multa scholarum patientia.
is collectis in aulam Edmundi popularibus ad seniores hunc in modum
locutus fertur: "si apud rerum humanarum inscios verba facerem plura
cohortandi causa dicenda erant. nunc autem sunt in oculis quibus alios
iniuriis validiorum potentia laeserit. quid memorem Scotos Stubbinsiorum
dominatu potitos? quid Tabernarios Balliolensibus traditos, mox ab
iisdem suum lucrum ex aliena benevolentia comparantibus invitos venditos
atque mancipatos? Scimmerios cum maxime Rhodesii subiectos habent,
puerili rei nummariae imperitia generis humani regimen expostulantes.
quanta profanarum litterarum scientia pacatissima loca polluerint, non
est opus dictu apud gnaros. quid meliora ab iis expectatis qui Hiberniam
nuper [praemii nomen] occupaverunt? eandem nobis Brigantes necessitatem
imponent, gradum capessendi. et baccalaureos videbimus." tum ad iuvenes
conversus "eone ventum esset" interrogat "ut antiquissima aulae iura
corrumpi sinerent? Reginensium specioso vocabulo nuncupatos pessimam
servitutem passuros: praelectiones et deorum templa prope noctu insolitis
adeunda: et praecipua foeditate Brigantium arcana. mox et specimen
partium Magrathium remigare coacturum, eo immitius quia toleravisset.
num et sanctissimam Edmundi effigiem nuper a cive in somnis visam inter
quaggas et aprorum capita et eiusmodi ludicra fore ostentui? proinde
simplex et pastoricius et aratro adsuetus populus priscam et traditam a
patribus tranquillitatem coleret et tueretur."
3. His et talibus accensos ducit in viam, Brigantium fines et principes
ipsos gentis rutilo pigmento maculaturos, ni liberentur. egressis
claudit portas Reginensis sacerdos, metu an conscientia dubium: nec non
Brigantes quamquam civili bello distracti struxere vallum et loricam
hostem arcendi. igitur utrinque exclusi palantur in viis Mauri:
procurtoribus grata ea species nomina et collegii genus per ludibrium
percunctantibus. mox ab Omnianimensibus propter mediocritatem doctrinae
consimilibus hospitio accipiuntur: et inter socios conscribi concessum.
ibi per speciem cruditatis interfecti. aula in formam provinciae
redacta. nec enim magis iustis indiciis unquam adprobatum est, non esse
curae Vice-Cancellario securitatem bonorum, esse exstinctionem.
THE JOURNALISTIC TOUCH {24}
(I.) THE TRUE TALE OF TROY
(It is perhaps not generally known that the _Daily Hieroglyphic_, one of
the leading morning papyri of Egypt under the --th Dynasty, despatched a
special correspondent to Greece at the time of the Trojan War. Some
fragments of his communications have been discovered by the energy of
modern tomb-robbers, and the courtesy of the British Museum has enabled
us to publish these _disjecta membra_, which may perhaps be of interest
to the public at the present juncture.)
The only social _evenement_ (writes the correspondent under date Jan. 10,
1100 B.C., or thereabouts) which I have to chronicle is a reported
domestic _esclandre_ in the family of Menelaus, the genial and popular
Prince of Sparta. In consequence of this the Princess Helena, it is
alleged, has gone to Paris.
Mycenae, January 12.
It appears from the _Court Circular_ that Her Royal Highness has been
advised by her physicians to reside for some time in Asia Minor. At the
same time I cannot conceal the fact that the Corinthian society paper,
_Alethea_, mentions the name of a Trojan prince in connexion with this
story. I am naturally unwilling to make myself the mouthpiece of
scandal.
February 1.
The fact can no longer be disguised that grave international
complications are likely to arise between Troy and Mycenae. It is stated
on the highest authority that the Argive ambassador has been recalled
from the former capital, the alleged reason being promotion to a still
higher diplomatic post: there seems, however, to be no reasonable doubt
that the practical rupture of relations between the Empires of the West
and East is not remotely connected with the eternal maxim, "Cherchez la
femme." Much sympathy is expressed with H.R.H. Prince Menelaus.
February 20.
Everything points to war. Orders for a substantial increase of the Navy
have been placed in the hands of Messrs. Odysseus & Co., the celebrated
firm of shipbuilders. Heroes are earnestly called for.
The Argive Chamber was, last Wednesday, the scene of an animated debate.
M. Diomedes, War Minister, demanded a vote which would enable him to
enrol three more phalanxes. He was bitterly opposed by M. Thersites,
Leader of the Extreme Left, who demanded to know why the Achaean nation
was to be plunged recklessly into war for the settlement of matters
properly pertaining to the province of a Divorce Court. Fortunately for
the success of M. Diomedes' proposal, the closure was put in operation.
Later.
M. Thersites' funeral is announced for to-morrow (about the time of
loosing oxen).
February 25.
I cannot better describe the existing political situation than by quoting
the opinion of leading newspapers in Achaea and elsewhere.
All the official journals are consistently warlike in tone. They declare
that nothing will satisfy Achaean aspirations but the annexation of
Helen. The Athenian _Asty_ declares that should King Agamemnon employ
the opened floodgates of popular enthusiasm as a stepping-stone to lop
off another limb from the decaying trunk of the (so-called) Trojan
Empire, he will have achieved a permanent blessing to civilization.
On the other hand, the _Olympian Times_ comments severely on the
precipitate action of Agamemnon, and animadverts on the rash proceedings
which have led to a rupture that might have been averted by diplomacy.
As the _Times_ is understood to be the mouthpiece of the Powers, such an
utterance may well give rise to the gravest apprehensions.
The _Oracle_--a Phocian organ of pronounced clerical
tendencies--preserves an ambiguous tone.
Everything indicates a warlike attitude on the part of the _entourage_ of
King Priam. Hector Pasha has been appointed War Minister. The
_Prehistoric Post_ speaks of the enlistment of two new regiments of
Hittite Bashi-Bazouks in the interior of Asia Minor. The _Cassandra_,
however, a journal little read although supposed by some to be inspired,
has constituted itself the organ of the peace party, and confidently
predicts the destruction of Troy.
The _Ephemerios Chronographos_ has received the following telegram from
the veteran statesman Nestor: "Profound sympathy Achaean aspirations.
Bag and baggage only possible policy. Postcard follows.--Nestor,
Hawarden, Pylos."
March 1.
His Majesty and the Greek Fleet sailed to-day from Epidaurus, amid scenes
of great enthusiasm. Her Majesty the Queen and His Excellency Count
Aegisthus were both visibly affected. Mycenae is daily paraded by crowds
shouting, "To Ilion!"
March 8.
The Fleet is at Aulis, waiting until the process of raising the wind
shall have been concluded. Meantime, the services of the notorious
Klepht Achilles have been engaged. This popular enlistment creates great
enthusiasm.
The report recently prevalent as to human sacrifices is contradicted this
morning by an official _dementi_.
H.R.H. the Princess Iphigeneia has joined a Russian religious house.
Trojan bonds are quoted to-day at 53.8 (a fall of 0.2).
Later.
The attitude of the Olympian Powers causes considerable anxiety.
Tenedos, March 15.
Telegrams per Beacon will have informed you that the Powers have issued a
Collective Note to the Greek expeditionary force, forbidding the landing
of heroes and others. Notwithstanding this, there seems to be no doubt
that several demi-gods under Achilles have landed, and are endeavouring
to effect administrative reforms. Achaean newspapers of all shades
condemn the recent action of Poseidon in attempting to raise a storm.
Hector Pasha is committing atrocities.
March 17.
In spite of the known discrepancy between the views of the Powers, they
have issued a Collective Note urging upon His Majesty King Agamemnon the
necessity of prompt withdrawal. In view of his possible refusal, it is
understood that thunderbolts are in preparation, and Ares has been
mobilized. This action is severely commented upon by the Achaean Press
in general. The _Phaeacian Daily Chronicle_ goes so far as to threaten a
mass meeting in Trafalgar Square. Meanwhile, Hector Pasha is committing
atrocities.
March 18.
The Powers have issued Collective Notes to the contending parties. It is
understood that nothing short of a _Deus ex machina_ can avert a formal
rupture of relations between the Courts of Troy and Mycenae, as acts
which are liable to the interpretation of belligerency are daily
committed.
The ambiguous attitude of Zeus tends to complicate the situation. His
Majesty the King narrowly missed being hit by a thunderbolt this morning.
March 20.
I am authorized to state that the intervention of a _Deus ex machina_ has
brought about the arrangement of a _modus vivendi_. The Achaean
expeditionary force is to withdraw, and Helen is to be autonomous.
Menelaus, however, is to be free to enforce administrative reforms.
March 21.
Peace with Honour has been proclaimed. It is possible, however, that
some embarrassment may still arise from the action of King Priam in
assessing the material, moral, and intellectual damage inflicted on
himself and his allies at 152,833 tripods, 18 women, and an ox. This sum
will certainly be disputed.
It is asserted as probable that the Poet Laureate,--Homer, will be
invited to compose an epic poem commemorating the events of the raid. An
edition of 20,000 copies will be issued, including 50 on India paper,
with corruptions and emendations by eminent scholars.
THE JOURNALISTIC TOUCH
(II.) FORGOTTEN HISTORY
The Roman correspondent of the _Stella Lugdunensis_ writes to his paper
under date A.V.C. 817:--
All the Press is naturally full of the recent debate in the Senate on the
alleged unconstitutional indiscretions of our Imperial Master. (H.I.M.,
I should add, is at present on a lecturing tour in the Peloponnesus;
statements in the _Custos Burdigalensis_ to the effect that He is giving
a series of violin recitals are wholly without foundation.) The
impression produced is on the whole one of unanimous condemnation of His
Majesty's recent action. How--it is argued even by the Right--can it
tend to the stability of Roman foreign policy that in the regrettable
military operations between the Suebi and the Chatti the Emperor should
have directed General Count Corbulo to prepare an invincible plan of
campaign for each of the belligerents? The Extreme Left, as represented
by Messrs. Barea and T. Peters (? Paetus), goes much farther, and does
not hesitate to criticize the autocratic dilettantism which professes to
lay down the law on artistic matters which it does not in the least
understand. It is time (said one speaker) that our so-called Emperor
should cease to be persuaded by the plaudits of a decadent and servile
entourage into imagining Himself a Second Sarasatius. Absolutism is
generally condemned.
Messrs. Nerva and Nymphidius and other prominent Imperialists have, of
course, defended their master; but their apologies, it is felt, were
somewhat perfunctory and half-hearted. In allusion to the lamented
demise of the Dowager Empress, it was pointed out that pity and loyalty
alike should forbid trampling on a Ruler bowed down by repeated domestic
bereavements; and attempts were made to enlist sympathy for the Imperial
Orphan. These, however, have not been uniformly crowned with success.
Tension undoubtedly exists. I cannot (to speak plainly) conceal from
myself the fact that in a given contingency, the nature of which it is
unnecessary and, perhaps, undesirable to specify further, circumstances
at present unforeseen might conceivably pave the way for developments of
which it might be impossible to predict the eventual termination.
* * * * *
"Ought Nero to Abdicate?" is the subject of a "symposium" in the current
_Primum Saeculum et Post_. The signatures L and S are commonly
associated with the talented author whose _Pharsalia_ has long been
recognized as the most charming of Saturnalian gift-books, and the Rev.
L. A. Seneca, formerly private tutor in His Majesty's household. Should
H.I.M. decide to abdicate, it is anticipated that He will edit our
Boeotian contemporary the _Oracle_, which is sadly in need of new blood.
Nero will give it that. The meetings held at the Palazzo Pisone were
strictly private.
* * * * *
The Suebian Press continues to hint at fresh indiscretions. There is no
doubt that a state of tension exists, which can only be alleviated by the
restoration of reciprocal confidence between H.I.M. and the Roman people.
The result of the approaching conference between the Emperor and Prince
Tigellinus is eagerly discussed.
Later.
H.M.'s interview with the Chancellor at Brundisium is stated to have been
productive of entirely satisfactory results. It is said that Nero now
thoroughly understands the situation, and is resolved to remodel His
conduct accordingly. Tension is greatly alleviated.
* * * * *
I cannot more graphically summarize the present improved situation than
by quoting the headlines in the _Acta Diurna_.
GREAT REVIEW OF PRAETORIANS
OUTSIDE THE SENATE HOUSE.
RESTORED RELATIONS BETWEEN
CONSCRIPT FATHERS AND EMPEROR.
HIS MAJESTY IN THE SENATE.
AVE CAESAR OPTIME MAXIME.
GREAT ENTHUSIASM.
DIVINE HONOURS PRACTICALLY CERTAIN.
IMPROVED FINANCIAL POSITION.
NEW ISSUE OF CONSULS EXPECTED.
All this tends to indicate that the period of mutual suspicion and
distrust is practically at an end. Nothing shows it more clearly than
the happy renewal of social relations between the Emperor and the leading
members of the Senate. As a guarantee of good feeling, several of our
legislators have consented, at His Majesty's earnest request, to assist
Him in the forthcoming Pageant of Empire to be held in the Circus
Maximus. Their collaboration is indeed indispensable, large consignments
of empty lions being reported to have arrived at Ostia. The hearty
sympathy between our Ruler and His people is still further attested by
the fact that several Senators who were but lately among the foremost
critics of Absolutism are now taking a personal and prominent share in
the scheme of street illuminations recently suggested to the Emperor by
His Chancellor. Members of the Stoic Democratic Federation have been
invited to meet H.I.M. at dinner at the Cafe Locusta.
* * * * *
The Cafe Locusta dinner has been a great success. It is not expected
that the Stoic Democratic Federation will express any further opinion
hostile to the Imperial policy.