SCENES IN HAVANNA.
"Had you ever the luck to see Donnybrook Fair?
An Irishman all in his glory is there.
With his sprig of shillelah and shamrock so green."
"Now, do make less noise there, my dear Listado--you will waken the
whole house with your uproarious singing."
"Waken the whole house!--that's a mighty good one, friend
Benjamin--why, the whole house _is_ awake--broad awake as a cat to
steal cream, or the devil in a gale of wind--Awake! men, women, and
children, black, brown, and white, dogs, cats, pigs, and kittens,
turkeys, peafowls, and the clucking hen, have been up and astir three
hours ago. Dicky Phantom is now crying for his dinner--so, blood and
oons, man, gather your small legs and arms about ye, and get up and
open the door--it is past twelve, man, and Mother Gerard thinks you
have gone for a six months' snooze, like a bat in winter; if you don't
let me in, I shall swear you are hanging from the roof by the claws."
"I can't help it, man--I am unable to get up and dress without
assistance; so, like a dear boy, call up old Nariz de Niéve,[1] the
black valet, and ask the favour of his stepping in to help me."
[1] Literally, _Nose of Snow_.
"Stepping in!--why, Benjie Brail, your seven senses are gone
a-wool-gathering, like Father Rogerson's magpie--how the blazes can
Nariz de Niéve, or any one else, get to you, through a two-inch door,
locked on the inside?--you must get up and undo it, or you will die of
starvation, for no blacksmith in Havanna could force such a
complication of hardwood planks and brass knobs."
Rather than be bothered in this way, up I got, with no little
difficulty, to say nothing of the pain from my undressed wound, and
crawled towards the door. But Listado had not patience to wait on my
snail's pace, so, setting his back to it, he gave a thundering push,
sufficient to have forced the gates of Gaza from their hinges, and
banged the door wide open. It had only caught on the latch, not having
been fastened, after all; but he had overcome the _vis inertiæ_ rather
too fiercely, for in spun our gingham-coated friend, with the flight of
a Congreve rocket, sliding across the tiled floor on his breast a
couple of fathoms, like a log squirred along ice. At length he lost
_his way_, and found his tongue.
"By the piper, but I'll pay you off for this trick, Master Brail, some
fine morning, take Don Lorenzo's word for it. Why the devil did you
open the door so suddenly, without telling me?--see, if these cursed
tiles have not ground off every button on my waistcoat, or any where
else. I must go into old Pierre Duquesné's garden, and borrow some fig
leaves, as I am a gentleman."
I could scarcely speak for laughing. "The door was on the latch, as
you see--it was not fastened, man, at all--but you are so impetuous"----
"Himpetuous!--why, only look at the knees of my breeches--there's
himpetuosity for you!--a full quarter of a yard of good duck spoiled,
not to name the shreds of skin torn from my knee-pans, big enough, were
they dried into parchment, to hold ten credos, and--but that will grow
again, so never mind." Here he gathered himself up, and, tying a red
silk handkerchief round one knee, a white one round the other, and my
black cravat, which he unceremoniously picked off the back of a chair,
round his waist, like a bishop's apron; he rose, laughing all the
while, and turned right round on me--"There, I am all right now--but I
have come to tell you of a miracle, never surpassed since Father
O'Shauchnessy cured aunt Katey's old pig of the hystericals--stop! I
must tell you about that game--She was, as you see, an ould maid, and
after the last twelve farrow, she applied to"--
I laughed--"Which was the old maid? the pig, or"----
"Hold your tongue, and give your potato-trap a holiday.--Didn't I tell
you it was my maiden aunt Katey, that brought the litter of pigs to
Father O'Shauchnessy?"
"The devil she did," quoth I.
"To be sure she did," quoth he.--"So said she to him, 'Father,' says
she--'Daughter,' says he; and then before she could get in another
word--'Whose are them pigs?' says he.--'Moin, moy pigs,' quoth my aunt
Katey.--'Your pigs!--all of them?' says Father O'Shauchnessy,--'Every
mother's son of them,' says my aunt Katey---'and that is my errand,
indeed, Father O'Shauchnessy, for the poor mother of these beautiful
little creatures is bewitched entirely.'"
"Now, Listado, have done, and be quiet, and tell me your errand," said
I, losing patience.
"My errand--_my_ errand, did you say, Benjie Brail?--by the powers, and
I had all but forgotten my errand--but let me take a look at you--why,
what a funny little fellow you are in your linen garment,
Benjie--laconic--short, but expressive"--and he turned me round in so
rough a way, that he really hurt me considerably. Seeing this, and
that I had to sit down on the side of the bed for support, the worthy
fellow changed his tone----
"Bless me, Brail, I shall really be very sorry if I have hurt you, so I
will help you to dress--but you certainly do cut a comical figure in
dishabille--however, you have not heard the other miracle I came to
tell you about, man--why, Adderfang, that you saw die last night, and
be d--d to him--I cannot say much for his ending, by the way, if all be
true that I have heard--is not dead at all."
"Impossible!"
"Ay, but it is true--he was only kilt by his own bad conscience, the
big villain, and your fantastical _flower_ of sulphur--your Scotch
ally, Lennox, is below, ready to vouch for it. If the rascal does
recover, what a beautiful subject for the garrote he will make.--What
an expressive language this Spanish is, now--garrote--gar-rote--you
don't require to look your dictionary for the meaning of such a word,
the very sound translates itself to any man's comprehension--when you
say a fellow is _garroteado_, don't you hear the poor devil actually
_throttling_?--Oh! it's a beautiful word."
Here Manuel, the black butler, entered, to assist in rigging me, as
Nariz de Niéve was occupied otherwise; and time it was he did so, for
Listado was, without exception, the worst and roughest groom of the
bedchamber that ever I had the misfortune to cope withal; but the
plaguey Irishman must still put in his oar.
"Manuel, my worthy," said he, after the negro was done with me, "do me
the favour, para tomar un asiento--take a seat--chaizez votre
posterioribus, si vous plait, old Snow Ball."
By this time, he had shoved Massa Manuel into an arm-chair, whether he
would or no, close to one of the wooden pillars of the balcony, and,
getting behind him, he, with one hand, threw a towel over his face;
then twisted a handkerchief round his neck, and the pillar also, with
the other, until he had nearly strangled the poor creature; holding
forth all the while, "There is the real garrote for you--a thousand
times more genteel than hanging.--See, Brail, you sit down on your
chair thus, quite comfortable--and the Spanish Jack Ketch, after
covering your face with the graceful drapery of a shawl--you may even
choose your pattern, they tell me, instead of dragging a tight nightcap
over your beautiful snout, through which every wry mouth you make is
seen--with one turn of his arm, so!"--Here, as he suited the action to
the word, the half-choked Manuel spurred with all his might with his
feet, and struggled with his hands, as if he had really been in the
agonies of death, and I am not sure that he was far from them. At
length he made a bolt from the chair, cast off the handkerchief that
had been wrung round his neck, and rushed out of the room, never once
looking behind him.
"Now, there! did you ever see such an uncivil ould savage, to stop me
just in the middle of my elegant illustration. However, we shall both
go and see this arch scoundrel, Adderfang, _garroteadoed_ yet--and
there I have rigged you now complete--not a bad looking little fellow,
I declare, after your togs are fittingly donned.--So, good by, Brail, I
will go home and see about breakfast"--and away he tumbled with his
usual reckless shamble.
He had left the room, and was drawing the door to after him, when in
came honest Dick Lanyard--"Ah, Don Ricardo," shouted the
Irishman--"glad to see you--now I can leave our friend with a safe
conscience; but he is not quite the thing yet here"--and the villain
pointed to his forehead. He vanished, but again returned suddenly, as
if he had forgotten something, and banging the door open with greater
noise than ever, re-entered, with all the _sang froid_ imaginable,
dragging at a large parcel that was stuffed into his coat pocket, which
he had considerable difficulty in extricating, apparently. At last,
tearing it away, lining and all, he presented it to me, still sticking
in the disruptured pouch.
"Now, there, if I have not torn out the very entrails of my coat skirt
with your cursed parcel--but beg pardon, Benjie, really I had forgotten
it; although, if the truth must be told, it was the main object of my
coming here. Ah so--and here is another packet for you too, Don
Ricardo"--chucking a large letter on service to the lieutenant, who
eagerly opened it. It contained, amongst others, the following from
the commodore:--
"_H.M.S Gazelle, Port-Royal, Jamaica._
"_Such a date._
"Sir--We arrived here, all well, on such a day--but, to suit the
convenience of the merchants whose vessels I am to convoy to Havanna,
and of those who are shipping specie to England, the admiral has
detained me for six weeks, so that I shall not be in Havanna, in all
likelihood, before such a period. You will therefore remain there,
taking all necessary precautions to ensure the health of the men, and
you can use your discretion in making short cruises to exercise them,
and to promote the same; but in no case are you to be longer than three
days without communicating with the port.
"The enclosure is addressed to Corporal Lennox--it was forwarded here
in the admiral's bag by last packet from England, superscribed, to be
returned to his office at Portsmouth, in case we had sailed. It seems
his friends, having ascertained that he was on board Gazelle, have made
interest for his discharge, which is herewith enclosed.--I remain, sir,
your obedient servant,
"OLIVER OAKPLANK, K.C.B.
"Commodore.
"To Lieutenant Lanyard, commanding the Midge, tender to H.M.S.
Gazelle," &c. &c. &c.
On receiving this the lieutenant sent for Lennox, and communicated the
intelligence contained in the commodore's letter. I could not tell
from the expression of his countenance whether he was glad or sorry.
The parcel contained letters from his father, the old clergyman of the
parish, Mr Bland, and several of the poor fellow's own friends,
detailing how they had traced him, and requesting, in the belief that
the letters would reach him in Jamaica, that he would find out a
kinsman of his own, a small coffee planter there, who would be ready to
assist him; and, in the mean time, for immediate expenses, the
minister's letter covered a ten-pound bank of England note, with which
he had been furnished by old Skelp, who, curiously enough, would not
trust it in his own, as it the clergyman's envelope carried a sort of
sanctity with it.
The marine consulted me as to what he ought to do; I recommended him to
proceed to Jamaica immediately by way of Batabano, and to visit the
relation, who had been written to, as he might be of service to him,
and accordingly he made his little preparations for departure.
My packet contained long letters from my Liverpool friends, that had
been forwarded to the care of our Kingston correspondent; but, to my
surprise, none from my uncle, Mr Frenche, mentioned at the outset as
being settled in Jamaica.
In the mean time, I continued rapidly to improve, and three days after
this I found myself well enough to go on board the Midge, and visit my
friends there. It was the day on which Lennox was to leave her; and as
the men's dinner-time approached, I saw one of the boat sails rigged as
an awning forward, and certain demonstrations making, and a degree of
bustle in the galley that _prog_nosticated, as Listado would have said,
a treat to his messmates. However, Lanyard and I returned on shore,
after the former had given Drainings, the cook, and old Dogvane the
quartermaster, leave for that afternoon to go on shore with the marine.
About sunset the same evening, as I was returning from an airing into
the country in Mr Duquesné's volante, who should I overtake but the
trio above alluded to, two of them in a very comfortable situation as
it appeared. First came Dogvane and Lennox, with little Pablo Carnero,
the Spanish ham merchant and pig butcher before mentioned, who was a
crony of the marine, between them, all very respectably drunk, and old
Drainings bringing up the rear, not many degrees better.
The quartermaster was in his usual dress, but the little Spanish dealer
in pork hams was figged out in nankeen tights, and a flowing
bright-coloured gingham coat, that fluttered in the wind behind him,
and around him, as if it would have borne up his tiny corpus into the
air, like a bat or a Brobdingnag butterfly; or possibly a
flying-squirrel would be the better simile, as he reeled to and fro
under the tyranny of the rosy god, making drunken rushes from Lennox to
Dogvane, and back again; tackling to them alternately, like the
nondescript spoken of in his leaps from tree to tree. As for our
friend the corporal, he had changed the complexion of his outward man
in a most unexampled manner;--where he had got the clothes furbished up
for the nonce, heaven knows, unless, indeed, which is not unlikely,
they had all along formed part of his kit on board; but there he was,
dressed in a respectable suit of black broad cloth, a decent black
beaver, and a white neckcloth; his chin well shaven, and in the grave
expression of his countenance, I had no difficulty in discerning that
idiotically serious kind of look that a man puts on who is conscious of
having drunk a little more than he should have done, but who struggles
to conceal it.
Dogvane, in the ramble, had killed a black snake about three feet long,
which, by the writhing of its tail, still showed signs of life, and
this he kept swinging backwards and forwards in one of his hands,
occasionally giving the little butcher a lash with it, who answered the
blow by shouts of laughter; while a small green paroquet, that he had
bought, was perched on one of his broad shoulders, fastened by a
string, or lanyard, round its leg to the black ribbon he wore about his
hat.
The wrangle and laughter amongst them, when I overtook them, seemed to
be in consequence of the little Spaniard insisting on skinning the eel,
as he called it, which Dogvarie resisted, on the ground that he
intended to have it preserved in spirits and sent to his wife. The
idea of a snake of so common a description being a curiosity at all,
seemed to entertain little Carnero astonishingly, but when the
quartermaster propounded through Lennox (whose Spanish was a melange of
schoolboy Latin, broad Scotch, and signs, with a stray word of the
language he attempted scattered here and there, like plums in a
boarding-school pudding), that he was going to send the reptile to his
wife, he lost control of himself altogether, and laughed until he
rolled over and over, gingham coat and all, in the dusty road.
"Culebra a su muger!--valga me dios--tabernaculo del diablo mismo a su
querida!--ha ha, ha" (hiccup), "mandale papagayo, hombre--o piña
conservada, o algo de dulce--algo para comer--pero
serpiente!--culebra!--ha--ha--ha!"--(A snake to your wife!--heaven
defend me--the tabernacle of the old one himself to your
sweetheart!--send her the parrot, man--or a preserved pine-apple or
some sweetmeats--something to eat--but a serpent!--a vile
snake--ha--ha--ha!)
Lennox now made me out, and somewhat ashamed of the condition of his
Spanish ally, he made several attempts to get him on his legs, but
Dogvane, who seemed offended at little Pablo's fun, stood over him
grimly with his arms folded, about which the reptile was twining, and
apparently resolute in his determination not to give him any aid or
assistance whatever.
"Surge, carnifex--get up, man--surge, you drunken beast," quoth Lennox,
and then he dragged at the little man by the arms and coat skirts,
until he got him out of the path so as to allow me to drive on.
At length he got him on his legs, and held him in his arms.
"Thank ye, Lennox," said I. He bowed.
"Hilloa," quoth Dogvane, startled at my appearance; "Mr Brail, I
declare!"--and he tore off his hat with such vehemence, that the poor
little paroquet, fastened by the leg to it, was dashed into Pablo
Carnero's face.
"Marinero--animal--pendejo--quieres que yo pierdo mis ojos, con su
paxaro intierno?"--(Sailor--animal--hangman--do you wish to knock my
eyes out with your infernal bird?) and he made at him as if he would
have annihilated him on the spot. At this hostile demonstration,
Dogvane very coolly caught the little man in his arms, and tossed him
into the ditch, as if he had been a ball of spun-yarn; where, as the
night is fine, we shall leave him to gather himself up the best way he
can.
It seemed little Carnero's house was the haunt of the Batabano traders
or smugglers, and that Lennox had bargained with him for a mule, and
made his little arrangements for proceeding with a recua, or small
caravan, across the island on the following evening.
Next morning Mr Duquesné and I, accompanied by Listado and Mr M----,
rode into the country about five miles, on the Batabano road, to visit
Mr D---- and family at their villa. I found M---- a very intelligent
Scotchman; indeed, in most matters of trade he was, and I hope _is_,
considered a first-rate authority in the place. He was a tall thin
fair-haired man, with a good deal of the Yankee in his cut and
appearance, although none whatever in his manner; and as for his
kindness I never can forget it. Mr D---- was an Englishman who had
married a Spanish lady; and at the time I mention, he had returned from
England with his children--a son, and several daughters grown up--the
latter with all the polish and accomplishments of Englishwomen
engrafted on the enchanting _naïveté_ of Spanish girls; and even at
this distance of time I can remember their beautifully pliant and most
graceful Spanish figures, as things that I can dream of still, but
never expect again to see; while their clear olive complexions, large
dark eyes, and coal-black ringlets, were charms, within gunshot of
which no disengaged heart could venture, and hope to come off
scatheless. Disengaged hearts! Go on, Master Benjamin Brail, I see
how it is with you, my lad.
I had previously shaken hands with Lennox, whose heart, poor fellow,
between parting with me and little Dicky Phantom, was like to burst,
and did not expect to have seen him again; but on our return from Mr
D----'s in the evening, we met a man mounted on a strong pacing horse,
dressed as usual in a gingham jacket and trowsers, with a large
slouched hat of plaited grass, a cloak strapped on his saddle-bow, and
a valise behind him. He carried his trabuco, or blunderbuss, in his
right hand, resting on the cloak; and his heels were garnished with a
pair of most persuasive silver spurs buckled over _shoes_. His
trowsers, in the action of riding, had shuffled up to his knees,
disclosing a formidable sample of muscle in the calf of his leg: while
his gaunt brown sinewy hand, and sun-burnt moorish-looking features,
evinced that he would, independently of his arms, have been a tough
customer to the strongest man in the Old Gazelle.
M---- and Listado both addressed this brigand-looking subject with the
greatest familiarity, and enquired where his comrades were. He nodded
his head backwards over his shoulder, as much as to say, "Close behind
me." Indeed, we now heard the clattering of mules' feet up the path,
that here ascended suddenly from the level country, and more resembled
a dry river course than a road, and the shouting of the riders to their
bestias and each other.
Presently about thirty odd-looking tailor-like creatures appeared on
stout mules, riding with their knees up to their noses, evidently not
at all at home, but held in their seats by the old-fashioned
demi-piques, with which their animals were caparisoned. I directed an
enquiring look at M----. He laughed.
"Batabano smugglers."
"What! this in the face of day?"
"Oh yes; those things are managed coolly enough here, Mr Brail. They
are now on their way to the coast, where a vessel is doubtless lying
ready to carry them over to Jamaica, and to bring them back when they
have laid out their money in goods. See there, those sumpter mules are
laden with their bags of doubloons; when they return to Batabano, with
the assistance of my friend Juan Nocheobscuro there, and some of his
gang, their goods will soon be in the tiendas, or shops of Havanna, to
the great injury of the fair trader who pays duties, I will
confess--and I hope the evil will soon be put down; but there it is for
the present as you see it."
"But how comes Listado to know so many of the tailor-looking
caballeros?"
"They are all customers of ours," said he, "who only resort to Jamaica
occasionally, and are mostly shopkeepers themselves, or have partners
who are so."
"And our excellent Irish friend himself, may I ask, who is he--is he
your partner?"
"No, no," said M----, "he is not my partner, but he is connected with
most respectable Irish correspondents of mine, who consign linens and
other Irish produce largely to my establishment, and for whom I load
several ships in the season with sugar and coffee; so Monsieur Listado,
who is rich since his father's death (he was the head of the firm), has
been sent by the Irish house to superintend the sales of the outward
cargoes, under my auspices, and to take a sort of general charge of
shipping the returns; but," continued he, laughing, "as you see, he
does not _kill_ himself by the intensity of his application to
business. He is a warm-hearted and light-headed Irishman,--one who
would fight _for_ his friend to the last, and even with him for
pastime, if no legitimate quarrel could be had. We had a little bother
with him at first, but as I know him now, we get on astonishingly; and
I don't think we have had one single angry word together for these six
months past, indeed never since he found out from my letter-book that I
had once done an essential mercantile service to his father, in
protecting a large amount of his bills drawn while he was in New York,
when dishonoured by a rascally agent at that time employed by him here.
But who comes?" Who indeed, thought I, as no less a personage than
Lennox himself brought up the rear, on a stout mule, in his dingy suit
of sables; cutting a conspicuous figure amongst the gaudily dressed
Dons. He paced steadily past us, and when I bid him good-by, he merely
touched his hat and rode on. Presently the whole cavalcade was out of
sight, and nothing else occurred until we arrived at Havanna, and I
found myself once more comfortably lodged under Mr Duquesné's
hospitable roof.
About a fortnight after this I received letters from Mr Peter Brail, my
uncle in Liverpool, offering me a share in the firm, and enjoining me,
if I accepted it, to return immediately, without visiting Jamaica. He
also stated that he had written his Kingston correspondents, with
instructions as to some business that I was to have transacted, had I,
as originally intended, gone thither; and mentioned to them, at the
same time, the probable change in my plans.
This was too favourable an offer to be declined; I therefore made up my
mind to close with it; but, as I could not wind up my Havanna
transactions for some time, I determined to spend the interim as
pleasantly as possible.
Two days afterwards I was invited to make one in a cruise into the
country. Accordingly, the following morning we were all prepared to
set off to visit Mr Hudson's estate; it was about five in the
morning--we had packed up--the volantes and horses were already at the
door, and Mrs Hudson, her daughter Helen, with Dicky Phantom, once more
in his little kilt of a frock, in her hand; Sophie Duquesné, De Walden,
Mr Hudson, and myself, all spurred and whipped, if not all booted, were
ready in the vestibule, waiting by candle-light for Mr Listado, who was
also to be of the party. Gradually the day broke, and as the servants
were putting out the candles, in compliment to Aurora's blushes, in
trundled our Hibernian friend, with his usual boisterosity.
"Hope I haven't kept you waiting, Mr Hudson?--that villain Palotinto,
the black warehouseman, store _nigger_"--with a wink to me--"as you
would call him in New York,"--Mr Hudson laughed good-naturedly--"got
drunk, and be fiddled to him--never swear before ladies, Brail--and
forgot to call me; and when he did wake me, he could not find my spurs,
and the mule's bridle was amissing, and the devil knows what all had
gone wrong; so I was bothered entirely--but here I am, my charmers,
large as life, and as agreeable as ever--don't you think so, Miss
Hudson?" She laughed; and as the blundering blockhead dragged, rather
than handed her towards her volante, I felt a slight comical kind of I
don't-know-what, and a bit of a tiny flutter, not a thousand miles from
my heart.--"Ho, ho," thought I, Benjie. "But what an ass you were not
to hand her out your----. Death and the devil, what does the mouldy
potato mean?"--continued I to myself, as Listado, after fumbling to get
the step of the New-York built voiture out, and knocking the Moreno, or
brown driver, down on his nose for attempting to help him, desecrated
the sweet little body's slender waist with his rough arms, and actually
lifted her, laughing and giggling (_skirling_, to borrow from Lennox),
bodily into the carriage.
Somehow I took little note for a considerable time after this how the
rest of us were bestowed, until I found myself in company with Listado,
De Walden, and Mr Hudson, on horseback, without well knowing how I got
there, followed by a cavalcade of six negroes, on mules, with two
sumpter ones with luggage, and three led small Spanish barbs, with side
saddles, all curveting in the wake of the carriage with the ladies, by
this time trundling through the city gate, a cable's length a-head of
us.
"I say, Benjie Brail," shouted Listado, "have you become a mendicant
friar, that you travel without your hat"----
"My hat?" said I, deucedly taken aback and annoyed; "true enough--how
very odd and foolish--I say, Nariz de Niéve, do oblige me, and ride
back for my sombrero."