THE PRIME MINISTER has been having a high old time of it lately in the
North, and has become the "youngest burgess" of goodness knows how many
ancient boroughs. But it has been left to a reporter to note with an
eagle eye the really interesting performance which Lord ROSEBERY has put
to his credit. "Immediately on leaving Dornoch," says this gentleman
(the reporter, not the PREMIER), "Lord ROSEBERY and the Duke of
SUTHERLAND drove to the Meikle Ferry, a distance of four miles, crossed
the ferry, and again drove to Tain, four miles farther on. Crossing the
ferry they both took a turn at the oars, and _generally discussed the
sport of seal shooting_!" This suggests quite a fresh phase of the New
Journalism. We shall soon read such paragraphs as the following:--
"Sir WILLIAM HARCOURT left town for Malwood on Tuesday. Going
down in the train the right hon. gentleman played marbles with a
fellow-passenger, and discussed generally the virtues of resignation."
"Mr. H. H. FOWLER transacted important business at the India Office
yesterday. He and his private secretary played a game of trundling
hoops, and had an animated talk on the subject of whist."
"Mr. A. J. BALFOUR played at golf with a gentleman, with whom he had a
very interesting conversation on the sport of chute shooting."
* * * * *
The moral of which would seem to be that, since even conversation is now
reported, silence is more golden than ever; though _Mr. Punch_ notices
that the PRIME MINISTER showed rare diplomacy in his choice of a
subject. Not even a reporter could extract any political meaning out of
the sport of seal shooting!
[Illustration: SWEET SIMPLICITY.
_Diffident Man (who does not know to how much of an Ingénue he is
talking)._ "HAVE YOU BEEN OUT LONG, MISS GRACE?"
_Miss Grace (consulting her wrist-strap)._ "OH, ABOUT THREE-QUARTERS OF
AN HOUR. YOU SEE WE WERE ASKED TO COME PUNCTUALLY."]
* * * * *
VERY NEAR.--The _Record_ has been taking Mr. HALL CAINE to task for the
baptismal scene in _The Manxman_, and the novelist has been telling the
_Record_ to remember its Rubrics. "Mr. CAINE," says the _Record_, "has
been in a hurry." The _Record_ lost a chance, as, evidently expecting a
storm of fury, it should have deprecated the author's anger by saying,
"Don't be in a hurry-CAINE."
* * * * *
"TERRIBLE IN HIS ANGER!"
MR. J-ST-N MCC-RTHY (_reading the speech of the German Emperor to the
Mayor of Thorn_). "For you know, I can be very disagreeable too!" _Ah!
and so can I--when I like!_