Dear MR. PUNCH,--I know you sympathise with boys, and isn't it a jolly
shame the masters set us such awfully hard questions in exams.? My
Report has just come home, and my Pater has given me a fearful rowing,
and all because it says "WILKINS Terts. (that's me) has done badly in
Examinations, and does not take the trouble to use what intelligence
he possesses." My Pater threatens not to take me to the Pantymime,
and I hear it's awfully beefy this year! Well, we had a "History and
General Knowledge" paper, and one of the questions was this beastly
one, and of course I couldn't tackle it--"What, or where, are the
following:--'Imperium in Imperio, The Korea, Bimetallism, The Grand
Llama, Balance of Power, and One Man One Vote?'" I answered all right
about the Korea, because I kicked young SMITH under the table to
give me a tip about it, and he said it was the book the Turks use
in church; and I put that down, but all the other things floored me.
Please will you say what Bimetallism is? JONES Junior said afterwards,
in the playground, that it was a sort of lozenge, and ROBINSON
Senior said he didn't know what it was, but he knew his Pater was
a Bimetallist; and JONES said ROBINSON Senior's Pater must be a
confectioner then; and so ROBINSON punched JONES'S head; but what _is_
it? And is it fair to ask us boys such questions? My Pater said at
breakfast the School Board was fond of sending out sirkulers. Do you
think they would send one to our Head-master, and ask him to stop such
rot?