_by Dixie Hines_.
_Illustrations by Charles Roy Bowers and A. J. Bjornstad._
Beauty is only paint-deep at times.
Only the brave can handle the fair.
A pretty girl envies but one girl—a prettier one.
Many a poor husband is created from a rich man.
While there is an engagement there’s hope—of liberty.
Men can persuade a woman to do anything she wants to.
Men can be classified; women cannot even be pacified.
A woman’s idea of happiness is to be ideally miserable.
A woman will break a heart as readily as she will crack a smile.
No married man ever was a fool without being told of the fact.
The grass widow is not alone in making hay while the sun shines.
A bachelor is a man who has given serious thought to matrimony.
Bachelors form their opinion of marriage by experience—of others.
There is nothing new under the sun except hat styles for women.
[Illustration: “_A woman imagines she can cover up her
imperfections by pointing out those of other women._”]
Every girl would love to be a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
When a woman proves equal to all a man expects she is a sur-prize.
It isn’t nearly so hard to be a fool over a widow as not to be one.
Every woman secretly admires the wisdom of the man who flatters her.
A woman may conceal her faults, but a decollete gown is less
deceptive.
The blush of a bashful girl is a flush that takes any hand—and
heart.
“The cup of happiness” with men of experience has a siphon on the
side.
Every woman has a horror of old age, but not so much as of young
death.
Women are never satisfied. First they want a voter and then they
want a vote.
Some men are born to trouble, while others merely achieve it by
marriage.
There is but one kind of love, yet every woman has a different idea
about it.
Men, manners and morals change, but woman, never—from the
changeable.
[Illustration: _A man may be “out front” at the opera and yet be
able only to “see back”—if he is with her._]
Every woman expects a man to think for her, and then she reverses
his opinion.
When it comes to singing the praises of another, most women have a
sore throat.
Man’s principal safeguard against matrimony is that widows are
made, not born.
Many a promising housekeeping career has been ruined in an
unpromising stage career.
Men have found many antidotes for a woman, but the surest of all is
another woman.
A woman spends one-half of her time telling lies for men and the
other half to them.
Women often know a man is in love with them when the man never
discovers the fact.
Men often find it necessary to choose between the inconstant and
the unattractive woman.
A woman keeps a man running all the time—first it is after her and
then it is from her.
If women did not know that men could overcome their resistance they
would seldom resist.
There are two ways in which a woman may win a man: Her own
brilliancy and his inanity.
When a man is at the feet of woman it is pretty sure that another
woman threw him there.
Every woman wants a man to be real devilish before marriage and
real angelic afterwards.
Anyhow, there was one woman who was never jealous. Adam didn’t have
troubles about that.
A woman imagines she can cover up her imperfections by pointing out
those of other women.
Some men are born wise, some achieve wisdom by experience, and some
just don’t marry.
Two kinds of women make trouble in the world—those that are married
and those that are not.
There is but one class of women who are not interested in the
fashions and they are the dead ones.
The philosopher said a woman could not argue—he was too wise to say
that she could not talk.
The reason so many men find marriage unattractive is because life
was so attractive before marriage.
It isn’t a hard matter for a woman to make a man love her. The
difficulty is in making him keep it up.
A woman can make up two things at the same time—her face and her
mind; but her face lasts longer.
The world has no sympathy to waste on those reckless enough to wed
when both have been married before.
If a man does not tell a woman he loves her she thinks him
impossible; if he does, he knows himself foolish.
When a woman says that all she wants is what she deserves she
really means she deserves all she wants.
When a girl reaches that uncertain age and is yet unmarried, she is
often worse than she paints herself.
Sometimes there is more truth than sentiment when a man tells a
woman a thing is as plain as the nose on her face.
No one has ever yet discovered why a woman is afraid of a mouse and
tackles a six-foot man with confidence.
A woman will start a flirtation in fun and then wonder why a man
won’t follow her when she gets serious.
If a man wants to make a fool of himself he can find many
opportunities, but the surest way is over a woman.
Men and women both agree that it is inadvisable to live without
each other and impossible to live with each other.
Whether a married man pities or envies his bachelor friends depends
entirely upon how long he has been married.
If a man really wants to start something with himself, let him try
to love a woman just as a woman wants to be loved.
The best way to find out what a girl who is in love with a man
thinks of woman suffrage is to find out what he thinks.
A man may escape the measles, or automobiles, or even being
indicted, but no man has ever been known to escape a widow.
No woman ever told a man she hated him without meaning it; some
women have told men they loved them and meant it.
Rather than a man should be right and belong to another woman, a
woman would have him wrong and belong to her.
The reason widows are so attractive to men is because they will
allow themselves to be taught things they already know too well.
A girl will gaze for three hours and a half at the moon and then
wonder why she hasn’t time to sew a button on her brother’s vest.
The happiest man is he who will take a woman’s protestations like
he does a dose of medicine—with celestial faith in the giver.
When a woman fails to see an opportunity to be generous to another
woman it is not necessarily a sign of defective eye-sight.
Don’t misunderstand a man when he tells a woman she is sweet enough
to eat—maybe he is thinking of the forthcoming restaurant-check.
Between the ages of sixteen and thirty a woman is a general
practitioner in the field of love; after that she is satisfied to
become a specialist.
A man is willing to worship at the shrine of a woman with whom
he is in love until he meets another woman—then he changes his
religion.
The question will never be settled between women as to which will
win a man quicker, a pair of silk stockings or an ability to bake a
good cake.
If ever the fact that there are no marriages in Heaven is generally
believed by women, half of the preachers will be obliged to seek
other employment.
If a woman were obliged to express a preference, she would choose
the man who pleases but does not love, to the man who loves but
does not please, her.
Women are said to be more “clean-minded” than men. Men might meet
feminine competition if they resorted to the stratagem of changing
their minds as often.
The greatest disappointment after marriage comes to a man when he
realizes that his wife does not look like the models in the shop
windows during a white-goods sale.
A man can protect himself from the things said about him by the
women who don’t love him. It’s the things said about him by the
woman who does love him that keep him worried.
Women, says a sage, are like books: No man can judge the inside by
what is displayed on the outside. It is a poor rule that won’t work
both ways. Women are unlike books: When one has finished with a
book it can be closed up.
[Illustration: _Drawn by E. M. Ashe._]