is now my Counsellor, and commands Me to study My safety by a
disguised withdrawing from my chiefest strength, and adventuring upon
their Loyalty, who first began my troubles. Happily, God may make them
a means honorable to compose them.
This my confidence of them, may dis-arm & overcom them; my rendring
my person to them, may engage their affection to me, who have oft
professed, _They fought not against me, but for me_.
I must now resolve the riddle of their Loyalty: and give them
opportunity to let the world see, they mean not what they do, but what
they say.
Yet must God be my chiefest Guard; and my Conscience both my
Counsellor and my Comforter: Though I put my body into their hands,
yet I shall reserve my soul to God and my self; nor shall any
necessities compell me, to desert mine honour, or swerve from my
Judgement.
What they fought to take by force, shall now be given them in such a
way of unusuall confidence of them, as may make them ashamed not to be
really such as they ought, and professed to be.
God sees it not enough to desert me of all Military power to defend my
Self, but to put me upon using their power, who seem to fight against
me, yet ought in duty to defend me.
So various are all humane affairs, & so necessitous may the state
of Princes be, that their greatest danger may be in their supposed
safety, and their safety in their supposed danger.
I must now leave those that have Adhered to me, and apply to those
that have Opposed me; this method of Peace may be more prosperous
then that of War, both to stop the effusion of bloud, & to close those
wounds already made: and in it I am no less solicitous for my Friends
safety, then mine own; chusing to venture my Self upon further
hazards, rather then expose their resolute Loyaltie to all
extremities.
It is some skil in play to know when a game is lost; better fairly to
give over, then to contest in vain.
I must now study to re-inforce my Judgment, and fortifie my mind
with Reason and Religion, that I may not seem to offer up my Souls
libertie, or make my Conscience their Captive; who ought at first to
have used Arguments, not Arms, to have perswaded my consent to their
demands.
I thank God, no success darkens or disguises Truth to me; and I shall
no less conform my words to my inward dictates now, then if they had
been as the words of a KING ought to be among loyal Subjects, _full of
power_.
Reason is the divinest power. I shall never think my Self weakned,
while I may make full and free use of that. No ecclipse of outward
Fortune shall rob me of that light: what God hath denied of outward
strength, his grace, I hope, will supply with inward resolutions; not
morositie to deny, what is fit to be granted; but not to grant any
thing which Reason and Religion bids me denie.
I shall never think my Self less then my Self, while I am able thus to
preserve the integrity of my Conscience, the only Jewel now left me,
which is worth keeping.
_O thou Soveraign of our Souls, the onely Commander of our
Consciences; though I know not what to do, yet mine eyes are toward
thee: To the protection of thy mercy I still commend my self._
_As thou hast preserved me in the day of Battell, so thou canst still
shew me thy strength in my weaknesse._
_Be thou unto me in my darkest night a pillar of fire, to enlighten
and direct me; in the day of my hottest affliction, be also a pillar
of cloud to over-shadow and protect me; be to me both a Sun and a
Shield._
_Thou knowest, that it is not any perverseness of will, but just
perswasions of Honour, Reason, and Religion, which have made me thus
far to hazard my Person, Peace, and Safetie, against those that by
force have sought to wrest them from me._
_Suffer not my just resolutions to abate with my outward Forces; let a
good Conscience alwaies accompany me in my solitude and desertions._
_Suffer me not to betray the powers of Reason, and that fortresse of
my Soul which I am entrusted to keep for thee._
_Lead me in the paths of thy righteousnesse, and shew me thy
salvation._
_Make my waies to please thee, and then thou wilt make mine enemies to
be at peace with me._
* * * * *
23. _Upon the_ Scots _delivering the_ KING _to the_ English, _and His
Captivity at_ Holmeby.
Yet may I justifie those _Scots_ to all the world in this. That they
have not deceived me; for I never trusted to them further then to men:
if I am sold by them, I am only sorry they should do it: and that My
price should be so much above My Saviors.
These are but further Essays which God will have Me make of mans
uncertainty, the more to fix Me on himself, who never faileth them
that trust in him; though the Reeds of _AEgypt_ break under the hand
of him that leans on them, yet the Rock of _Israel_ will be an
everlasting stay and defence.
Gods Providence commands Me to retire from all to himself, that in him
I may enjoy My Self, which I lose, while I let out My hopes to others.
The solitude & captivity to which I am now reduced, gives Me leisure
enough to study the worlds vanity and inconstancie.
God sees 'tis fit to deprive Me of Wife, Children, Armie, Friends, and
Freedom, that I may be wholly his, who alone is all.
I care not much to be reckoned among the Unfortunate, if I be not in
the black List of irreligious and sacrilegious Princes.
No Restraint shall ensnare my Soul in sin; nor gain that of me which
may make my Enemies more insolent, my Friends ashamed, or my Name
accursed.
They have no great cause to triumph, that they have got my Person into
their power; since my Soul is still my own: nor shall they ever gain
my Consent against my Conscience.
What they call obstinacie, I know God accounts honest constancie, from
which Reason and Religion, as well as Honor, forbid Me to recede.
'Tis evident now, that it was not Evil Counsellors with Me, but a good
Conscience in Me, which hath been fought against; nor did they ever
intend to bring Me to my Parliament, till they had brought My mind to
their obedience.
Should I grant what some men desire, I should be such as they with Me,
not more a King, and far less both Man and Christian.
What Tumults and Armies could not obtain, neither shall Restraint;
which though it have a little of safety to a Prince, yet it hath not
more of danger.
The fear of men shall never be my snare; nor shal the love of any
liberty entangle my soul: Better others betray me, then my self: and
that the price of my liberty should be my conscience; the greatest
injuries my Enemies seek to inflict upon me, cannot be without my own
consent.
While I can deny with Reason, I shall defeat the greatest impressions
of their malice, who neither know how to use worthily what I have
already granted; nor what to require more of me but this, That I would
seem willing to help them to destroy my self and mine.
Although they should destroy me, yet they shall have no cause to
despise me.
Neither liberty nor life are so dear to me, as the peace of my
Conscience, the Honor of my Crowns, and the welfare of my People;
which my word may injure more then any War can do; while I gratifie a
few to oppresse all.
The Laws wil by Gods blessing, revive, with the love and Loyaltie of
my Subjects; if I bury them not by my Consent, and cover them in that
grave of dishonor and injustice, which some mens violence hath digged
for them.
If my Captivity or Death must be the price of their redemption, I
grudge not to pay it.
No condition can make a King miserable, which carries not with it, his
Souls, his Peoples, and Posterities thraldom.
After-times may see, what the blindnesse of this Age will not; and
God may at length shew my Subjects, that I chuse rather to suffer for
them, then with them; happily I might redeem my self to some shew of
liberty, if I would consent to enslave them: I had rather hazard the
ruine of one King, then to confirm many Tyrants over them, from whom
I pray God deliver them, what ever becomes of me, whose solitude hath
not left me alone.
_For thou, O God, infinitely Good, and Great, art with me, whose
presence is better then life, and whose service is perfect freedom._
_Own me for thy Servant, and I shall never have cause to complain for
want of that liberty which becomes a Man, a Christian, and a King._
_Blesse me still with Reason, as a Man; with Religion, as a Christian;
and with constancie in Justice, as a King._
_Though thou sufferest me to be stript of all outward ornaments, yet
preserve me ever in those enjoyments wherein I may enjoy thy self; and
which cannot be taken from me against my will._
_Let no fire of affliction boile over my passion to any impatience or
sordid fears._
_There be many that say of me, There is no help for me: do thou lift
up the light of thy Countenance upon me, and I shall want neither
Safetie, Libertie, nor Majestie._
_Give me that measure of patience and constancie which my condition
now requires._
_My strength is scattered, my expectation from Men defeated, my Person
restrained: O be not thou far from me, lest my enemies prevail too
much against me._
_I am become a wonder, and a scorn to many: O be thou my helper and
defender._
_Shew some token upon me for good, that they that hate me may
be ashamed, because thou Lord, hast holpen and comforted me; for
establish me with thy free Spirit, that I may do and suffer thy will,
as thou wouldst have me._
_Be mercifull to me, O Lord, for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, and in
the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, untill these calamities
be over-past._
_Arise to deliver me, make no long tarrying, O my God. Though thou
killest me, yet will I trust in thy mercy, and my Saviours merit._
_I know that my Redeemer liveth; though thou leadest me through the
vail and shadow of death, yet shall I fear none ill._
* * * * *
24. _Upon their denying His Majestie the Attendance of His Chaplains._
When providence was pleased to deprive Me of all other civil comforts
and secular attendants, I thought the absence of them all might best
be supplied by the attendance of some of my Chaplains, whom for their
Function I reverence, and for their Fidelitie I have cause to love.
By their Learning, Pietie, and Praiers, I hoped to be either better
enabled to sustain the want of all other enjoyments, or better fitted
for the recovery and use of them in Gods good time; so reaping by
their pious help a spiritual harvest of grace amidst the thorns, and
after the plowings of temporal crosses.
The truth is, I never needed or desired more the service and
assistance of men judiciously pious, and soberly devout.
The solitude they have confined me unto, adds the wildernesse to my
temptations: For the company they obtrude upon me, is more sad then
any solitude can be.
If I had asked my Revenues, my power of the _Militia_, or any one of
my Kingdoms, it had bin no wonder to have been denied in those things,
where the evil policy of men forbids all just restitution, lest they
should confess an injurious usurpation: But to deny me the ghostly
comfort of my Chaplains seems a greater rigor & barbarity, then
is ever used by christians to the meanest prisoners, & greatest
malefactors, whom though the justice of the law deprive of worldly
comforts, yet the mercy of religion allows them the benefit of their
Clergy, as not aiming at once to destroy their Bodies, and to damn
their Souls.
But my agony must not be relieved with the presence of any one good
Angel; for such I account a learned, godly, and discreet Divine: and
such I would have all mine to be.
They that envie my being a King, are loth I should be a Christian:
while they seek to deprive me of all things else, they are afraid I
should save my Soul.
Other sense, Charity it self can hardly pick out of those many
harsh repulses I received, as to that request so often made for the
attendance of some of my Chaplains.
I have sometime thought the Unchristiannes of those denials might
arise from a displeasure some men had to see me prefer my own Divines
before their Ministers: whom, though I respect for that worth and
piety w^{ch} may be in them, yet I cannot think them so proper for any
present comforters or Physitians, Who have (some of them at least) had
so great an influence in occasioning these calamities, and inflicting
these wounds upon Me.
Nor are the soberest of them so apt for that devotional compliance,
and juncture of hearts, which I desire to bear in those holy Offices
to be performed with me, and for me; since their judgments standing
at a distance from me, or in jealousie of me, or in opposition against
me, their Spirits cannot so harmoniously accord with mine, or mine
with theirs, either in Prayer or other holy duties, as is meet, and
most comfortable; whose golden rule, and bond of Perfection consists
in that of mutual Love and Charitie.
Some remedies are worse then the disease, and some comforters more
miserable then misery it self; when like _Job's_ friends, they seek
not to fortifie ones minde with patience; but perswade a man by
betraying his own Innocency, to despair of Gods mercy; and by
justifying their injuries, to strengthen the hands, and harden the
heart of insolent Enemies.
I am so much a friend to all Church-men, that have any thing in them
beseeming that sacred Function, that I have hazarded my own interests,
chiefly upon Conscience and Constancie, to maintain their Rights; whom
the more I looked upon as Orphans, and under the sacrilegious eyes of
many cruell and rapacious Reformers; so I thought it my dutie the more
to appear as a Father, and a Patron for them and the Church. Although
I am very unhandsomly requited by some of them; who may live to repent
no lesse for My sufferings, then their own ungrateful errours, and
that injurious contempt and meannesse, which they have brought upon
their Calling and Persons.
I pity al of them, I despise none: only I thought I might have leave
to make choice of some for My special Attendance, who were best
approved in My Judgment & most sutable to My affection: For, I held
it better to seem undevout, and to hear no mans Praiers, then to be
forced, or seem to comply with those Petitions to which the heart
cannot consent, nor the tongue say _Amen_, without contradicting a
mans own understanding, or belying his own Soul.
In Devotions, I love neither profane boldnesse, nor pious non-sence;
but such an humble and judicious gravitie as shews the Speaker to be
at once considerate both of Gods Majestie, the Churches Honour, and
his own vilenesse; both knowing what things God allows him to ask, and
in what manner it becomes a sinner to supplicate the divine mercie for
himself, and others.
I am equally scandalised with all Praiers, that sound either
imperiously, or rudely, and passionately; as either wanting humilitie
to God, or charitie to men, or respect to the dutie.
I confess I am better pleased as with studied and premeditated
Sermons, so with such publick Forms of Praier, as are fitted to the
Churches and every Christians daily and common necessities; because I
am by them better assured, what I may join my heart unto, then I can
be of any mans extemporary sufficiencie: which as I do not wholly
exclude from publick occasions; so I allow its just libertie and use
in private and devout retirements; where neither the solemnities
of the dutie, nor the modest regards to others, do require so great
exactness as to the outward manner of performance; Though the light
of understanding, and the fervencie of affections I hold the main
and most necessarie requisites both in constant, and occasionall,
solitairie, and sociall Devotions.
So that I must needs seem to all equal minds with as much reason to
prefer the service of my own Chaplains before that of their Ministers,
as I do the Liturgie before their Directorie.
In the one I have been alwaies educated and exercised; In the other, I
am not yet Catechized, nor acquainted: And if I were, yet should I
not by that, as by any certain rule and Canon of Devotion, be able to
follow or find out the indirect extravagancies of most of those men,
who highly cry up that as a piece of rare composure and use, which
is already as much despised and disused by many of them, as the
Common-Prayer sometimes was by those men; a great part of whose Pietie
hung upon that popular pin of railing against, and contemning
the Government, and Liturgie of this Church. But, I had rather
be condemned to the wo of _Vae soli_, then to that of _Vae vobis
Hypocritae_, by seeming to pray what I do not approve.
It may be, I am esteemed by my Denyers sufficient of my Self to
discharge my dutie to GOD as a Priest, though not to Men as a Prince.
Indeed, I think both Offices, Regal & Sacerdotal, might well become
the same Person; as anciently they were under one name, and the united
rights of primogeniture: nor could I follow better presidents, if I
were able, then those two eminent Kings, _David_ and _Solomon_; not
more famous for their Scepters and Crowns, then one was for devout
Psalms and Praiers; the other for his divine Parables and Preaching:
whence the one merited and assumed the name of a Prophet, the other
of a Preacher. Titles indeed of greater honour, where rightly placed,
then any of those the Roman Emperors affected from the Nations they
subdued: it being infinitely more glorious to convert Souls to Gods
Church by the Word, then to conquer men to a subjection by the Sword.
Yet since the order of Gods wisdom and providence hath, for the
most part, alwaies distinguished the gifts and offices of Kings, of
Priests, of Princes and Preachers; both in the Jewish and Christian
Churches: I am sorry to find My self reduced to the necessity of being
both, or enjoying neither.
For such as seek to deprive Me of Kingly Power and Soveraigntie;
would no lesse enforce Me to live many Moneths without all Praiers,
Sacraments, and Sermons, unlesse I become My own Chaplain.
As I owe the Clergy the protection of a Christian KING, so I desire to
enjoy from them the benefit of their gifts and prayers; which I look
upon as more prevalent then My own, or other mens; by how much they
flow from minds more enlightned, and affections lesse distracted, then
those which are encombered with secular affairs: besides, I think a
greater blessing and acceptablenes attends those duties, which
are rightly performed, as proper to, and within the limits of that
calling, to which God and the Church have specially designed and
consecrated some men: And however, as to that Spirituall government,
by which the devout Soul is subject to Christ, and through his merits
daily offers it self and its services to God, every private believer
is a King and a Priest, invested with the honour of a Royall Priest
hood; yet as to Ecclesiastical order, and the outward policy of the
Church, I think confusion in Religion will as certainly follow every
mans turning Priest or Preacher, as it will in the State, where every
one affects to rule as King.
I was always bred to more modest, and I think to more pious
Principles: the consciousness to my spirituall defects makes Me
more prize and desire those pious assistances, which holy and good
Ministers, either Bishops or Presbyters, may afford Me; especially in
these extremities, to which God hath been pleased to suffer some of my
Subjects to reduce me; so as to leave them nothing more, but my life
to take from Me: and to leave me nothing to desire, which I thought
might less provoke their jealousie and offence to deny Me, then this
of having some means afforded Me for my Souls comfort and support.
To which end I made choice of men, as no way (that I know) scandalous,
so every way eminent for their learning and piety, no less then for
their Loyalty: nor can I imagine any exceptions to be made against
them, but onely this, that they may seem too able, and too well
affected toward Me and My Service.
But this is not the first service (as I count it the best) in which
they have forced Me to serve my self; though I must confess I bear
with more grief and impatience the want of My Chaplains, then of My
other Servants; and next (if not beyond in some things) to the being
sequestred from My Wife and Children; since from these indeed more of
humane and temporary affections, but from those more of heavenly and
eternall improvements may be expected.
My comfort is, that in the enforced (not neglected) want of ordinary
means, God is wont to afford extraordinary supplies of his Gifts and
Graces.
If his Spirit will teach me, and help my infirmities in prayer,
reading and meditation (as I hope he will) I shall need no other,
either Orator, or Instructer.
_To thee therefore, O my God, do I direct my now solitary Prayers;
what I want of others help, supply with the more immediate assistance
of thy Spirit, which alone can both enlighten my darknesse, and
quicken my dulnesse._
_O thou Sun of righteousness, thou sacred Fountain of heavenly light
and heat, at once cleer and warm my heart, both by instructing of
me, and interceding for me; In thee is all fulness, From thee all
sufficiency, By thee is all acceptance. Thou art companie enough, and
comfort enough; Thou art my King, be also my Prophet and my Priest.
Rule me, teach me, pray in me, for me; and be thou ever with me._
_The single wrestlings of_ Jacob _prevailed with thee in that sacred
Duel, when he had none to second him but thy selfe; who didst assist
him with power to overcome thee, and by a welcome violence to wrest a
blessing from thee._
_O look on me thy servant, in infinite mercy, whom thou didst once
blesse with the joynt and sociated Devotion of others, whose servency
might inflame the coldnesse of my affections towards thee: when
wee went to meet in thy House with the voice of joy and gladnesse,
worshipping thee in the unity of spirits, and with the bond of peace._
_O forgive the neglect, and not improving of those happy
opportunities._
_It is now thy pleasure that I should be as a Pelican in the
wildernesse, as a Sparrow on the house top, and as a coale scattered
from all those pious glowings and devout reflections, which might
best kindle, preserve, and increase the holy fire of thy Graces on
the Altar of my heart, whence the sacrifices of prayers and incense of
praises might be duly offered up to thee._
_Yet, O thou that breakest not the bruised reed nor quenchest the
smoaking flax, do not despise the weakness of my prayers, nor the
smotherings of my soul in this uncomfortable loannesse to which I am
constrained by some mens uncharitable denials of those helps, which I
much want, and no lesse desire._
_O let the hardness of their hearts occasion the softnings of mine
to thee, and for them. Let their hatred kindle my love, let their
unreasonable denials of my religious desires the more excite my
prayers to thee: Let their inexorable deafnesse incline thine ear to
me, who art a God easie to be intreated; thine ear is not heavie, that
it cannot, nor thy heart hard, that it will not hear, nor thy hand
shortned, that it cannot help me thy desolate Suppliant._
_Thou permittest men to deprive me of those outward means which thou
hast appointed in thy Church; but they cannot debarre me from the
communion of that inward grace, which thou alone breathest into humble
hearts._
_O make me such, and thou wilt teach me, thou wilt hear me, thou wilt
help me: The broken and contrite heart I know thou wilt not despise:
Thou, O Lord canst at once make me thy temple thy Priest, thy
Sacrifice, and thine Altar; while from an humble heart I (alone) daily
offer up in Holy Meditations, fervent Prayers, and unfeigned Tears, my
Self to thee; who preparest me for thee, dwellest in me and acceptest
of me._
_Thou, O Lord, didst cause by secret supplies and miraculous
infusions, that the handful of meal in the vessel should not spend,
nor the little oyl in the cruise fail the widow, during the time of
drought and dearth._
_O look on my soul, which as a widow, is now desolate and forsaken:
Let not those saving truths I have formerly learned now fail my
memory; nor the sweet effusions of thy Spirit, which I have sometime
felt, now be wanting to my heart in this famine of ordinary and
wholsom food for the refreshing of my soul._
_Which yet I had rather chuse then to feed from those hands who mingle
my bread with ashes, and my wine with gall, rather tormenting, then
teaching me; whose mouths are proner to bitter reproaches of me, then
to hearty prayers for me._
_Thou knowest, O Lord of truth, how oft they wrest thy holy Scriptures
to my destruction, (which are clear for their subjection, and my
preservation) O let it not be to their damnation._