_Sir Rupert._ Ha, MAISIE, my dear, glad to see you. Well, ROHESIA,
how are you, eh? You're _looking_ uncommonly well! No idea you were
here!
_Spurrell (to himself)._ Sir RUPERT! He'll have me out of this pretty
soon, I expect!
_Lady Cantire (aggrieved)._ We have been in the house for the best
part of an hour, RUPERT--as you might have discovered by
inquiring--but no doubt you preferred your comfort to welcoming a
guest who was merely your sister!
_Sir Rup. (to himself)._ Beginning already! (_Aloud._) Very
sorry--got rather wet riding--had to change everything. And I knew
ALBINIA was here.
_Lady Cant. (magnanimously)._ Well, we won't begin to quarrel the
moment we meet; and you are forgetting your other guest. (_In an
undertone._) Mr. SPURRELL--the Poet--wrote _Andromeda_. (_Aloud._)
Mr. SPURRELL, come and let me present you to my brother.
_Sir Rup._ Ah, how d'ye do? (_To himself, as he shakes hands._) What
the deuce am I to say to this fellow? (_Aloud._) Glad to see you
here, Mr. SPURRELL--heard all about you--_Andromeda_, eh? Hope you'll
manage to amuse yourself while you're with us; afraid there's not
much you can do _now_ though.
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Horse in a bad way; time they let me see it.
(_Aloud._) Well, we must see, Sir; I'll do all _I_ can.
_Sir Rup._ You see, the shooting's _done_ now.
_Spurr. (to himself, professionally piqued)._ They might have waited
till I'd seen the horse before they shot him! After calling me in
like this! (_Aloud._) Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Sir RUPERT. I wish
I could have got here earlier, I'm sure.
_Sir Rup._ Wish we'd asked you a month ago, if you're fond of
shooting. Thought you might look down on Sport, perhaps.
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Sport? Why, he's talking of _birds_--not the
horse! (_Aloud._) Me, Sir RUPERT? Not _much_! I'm as keen on a day's
gunning as any man, though I don't often get the chance now.
_Sir Rup. (to himself, pleased)._ Come, he don't seem strong against
the Game Laws! (_Aloud._) Thought you didn't look as if you sat over
your desk all day! There's hunting still, of course. Don't know
whether you ride?
_Spurr._ Rather so, Sir! Why, I was born and bred in a sporting
county, and as long as my old uncle was alive, I could go down to his
farm and get a run with the hounds now and again.
_Sir Rup. (delighted)._ Capital! Well, our next meet is on
Tuesday--best part of the country; nearly all grass, and nice clean
post and rails. You must stay over for it. Got a mare that will carry
your weight perfectly, and I think I can promise you a run--eh, what
do you say?
_Spurr. (to himself, in surprise)._ He _is_ a chummy old cock! I'll
wire old SPAVIN that I'm detained on biz; and I'll tell 'em to send
my riding-breeches down! (_Aloud._) It's uncommonly kind of you, Sir,
and I think I can manage to stop on a bit.
_Lady Culverin (to herself)._ RUPERT must be out of his senses! It's
bad enough to have him here till Monday! (_Aloud._) We mustn't
forget, RUPERT, how valuable Mr. SPURRELL'S time is; it would be too
selfish of us to detain him here a day longer than----
_Lady Cant._ My dear, Mr. SPURRELL has already said he can _manage_
it; so we may all enjoy his society with a clear conscience. (Lady
CULVERIN _conceals her sentiments with difficulty._) And now,
ALBINIA, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to my room and rest a
little, as I'm rather fatigued, and you have all these tiresome
people coming to dinner to-night.
[_She rises, and leaves the room; the other ladies follow her
example._
_Lady Culv._ RUPERT, I'm going up now with ROHESIA. You know where
we've put Mr. SPURRELL, don't you? The Verney Chamber.
[_She goes out._
_Sir Rup._ Take you up now, if you like, Mr. SPURRELL--it's only
just seven, though. Suppose you don't take an hour to dress, eh?
_Spurr._ Oh dear no, Sir, nothing like it! (_To himself._) Won't
take me two minutes as I am now! I'd better tell him--I can say
my bag hasn't come. I don't believe it _has_, and, any way, it's a good
excuse. (_Aloud._) The--the fact is, Sir RUPERT, I'm afraid that
my luggage has been unfortunately left behind.
_Sir Rup._ No luggage, eh? Well, well, it's of no consequence.
But I'll ask about it--I daresay it's all right.
[_He goes out._
_Captain Thicknesse_ (_to_ SPURRELL). Sure to have turned up, you
know--man will have seen to that. Shouldn't altogether object to a
glass of sherry and bitters before dinner. Don't know how _you_
feel--suppose you've a soul _above_ sherry and bitters, though?
_Spurr._ Not at this moment. But I'd soon _put_ my soul above a
sherry and bitters if I got a chance!
_Capt. Thick. (after reflection)._ I say, you know, that's rather
smart, eh? (_To himself._) Aw'fly clever sort of chap, this, but not
stuck up--not half a bad sort, if he _is_ a bit of a bounder.
(_Aloud._) Anythin' in the evenin' paper? Don't get 'em down here.
_Spurr._ Nothing much. I see there's an objection to _Monkey-tricks_
for the Grand National.
_Capt. Thick. (interested)._ No, by Jove! Hope they won't carry
it--meant to have something on him.
_Spurr._ I wouldn't back him myself. I know something that's safe to
win, bar accidents--a dead cert, Sir! Got the tip straight from the
stables. You just take my advice, and pile all you can on _Jumping
Joan_.
_Capt. Thick. (later, to himself, after a long and highly interesting
conversation)._ Thunderin' clever chap--never knew poets _were_ such
clever chaps. Might be a "bookie," by Gad! No wonder MAISIE thinks
such a lot of him!
[_He sighs._
_Sir Rup. (returning)._ Now, Mr. SPURRELL, if you'll come upstairs
with me, I'll show you your quarters. By the way, I've made inquiries
about your luggage, and I think you'll find it's all right. (_As he
leads the way up the staircase._) Rather awkward for you if you'd had
to come down to dinner just as you are, eh?
_Spurr. (to himself)._ Oh, lor, my beastly bag _has_ come after all!
Now they'll _know_ I didn't bring a dress suit. What an owl I was to
tell him! (_Aloud, feebly._) Oh--er--very awkward indeed, Sir RUPERT!
_Sir Rup. (stopping at a bedroom door)._ Verney Chamber--here you
are. Ah, my wife forgot to have your name put up on the door--better
do it now, eh? (_He writes it on the card in the door-plate._)
There--well, hope you'll find it all comfortable--we dine at eight,
you know. You've plenty of time for all you've got to do!
_Spurr. (to himself)._ If I only knew _what_ to do! I shall never have
the cheek to come down as I am!
[_He enters the Verney Chamber dejectedly._