Turn Town!
Determined as she was, Handy found it impossible to go straight on,
for the lane curved and twisted this way and that, ending finally in a
perfect corkscrew turn. The trees on both sides were now so dense Handy
and the Royal Ox could not have left the road even had they wished to
do so.
"We're going round and round and getting nowhere," said Nox in an
abused voice. "Of all the roads in Oz why did we have to pick this
one?"
"Because it dared us, I suppose. Hi--Yi!" exclaimed Handy, leaning
against a tree to rest. "I'm dizzy as a bat and hungry as a goat."
"Too bad you're not a goat," murmured Nox, who had stopped to nibble
the lower branches of a maple. "These leaves are quite tender."
"Well, I may come to them," sighed Handy, looking at him enviously.
"But shall we go on? I think one more turn will bring us out of here."
Handy was right for one more round brought them to the end of corkscrew
lane, but only to find themselves facing a high, forbidding wall. There
was a gate and turnstile in the wall, and beyond the Goat Girl caught
a glimpse of a confused whirling village where everything seemed to
be turning round or over. "It's just because I'm so dizzy," thought
Handy, clutching her head with her one free hand. But Nox, peering over
her shoulder gave a loud and indignant bellow as a house on the corner
of the street nearest them turned completely over and began spinning
merrily on its chimney, while the fence running round the bakery shop
next door started really to run around, kicking up its posts with great
glee and abandon.
"Hu--what kind of silly place is this?" rumbled the Ox backing hastily
away. But Handy Mandy had seen a whole row of little pies in the
bakeshop window and motioning vigorously for Nox to follow, stepped
over the stile and through the movable gate. It was too much of a
squeeze for Nox, but determined not to be left behind, he jumped neatly
over. A revolving sign on one of the large public buildings caught
their attention at once, but as the building was going one way and the
sign another, it was several minutes before they could discover what it
said.
"TURN TOWN!" read the Goat Girl in some surprise. "So that's where
we are! And would you loo--ook, every house on every street is going
round or over. Mercy--ercy on us and where do you suppose the people
are?"
"Turning over and over in their beds I take it, it is still quite
early, you know," whispered the Royal Ox, speaking cautiously out of
the corner of his mouth. "But come on, the streets are not turning, and
perhaps if we hurry we can go through before they waken and turn on us.
Hurry--hurry--what are you waiting for?"
"Food," sighed Handy wistfully. "I thought I might catch us a few pies,
Old Toggins. Here, watch my stuff and I'll bring us each some."
Nox looked sharply up and down the street as the Goat Girl set down
her axe, rake, spade, gun, broom and sword, and started off toward the
bakery.
Not only the fence but the shop itself was turning now. Handy quite
cleverly waited till the gate came opposite her and dashed through, but
the open door of the shop kept going by so rapidly she was knocked down
several times before she finally darted inside. As she disappeared Nox
gave an uneasy snort, but cheered up as the shop window came past and
he saw Handy with a pie in every hand, smile at him reassuringly. But
alas, the whirling floor of the shop was too much for the Goat Girl
and as she started out there was a clatter of broken china and falling
furniture.
"Great Gazoo, what's she done now?" moaned Nox as Handy leaped through
the door and fell sprawling in the little garden. She still had six of
the pies clutched in her various hands, but as she jumped up and raced
through the garden gate, windows all up and down the street were flung
open. From the right side up ones and the down side down ones kinky
black heads came popping out by the hundred.
"Turn out! Turn out! Topsies turn out!" yelled the excited citizens,
their voices going higher and higher. "Thieves, robbers, tramps and
Stand-Stillians!"
"Here," gasped the Goat Girl reaching Nox in one bound. "Eat these
quick and destroy the evidence." Stuffing one of the tarts into her own
mouth, Handy made a wry face. "Ugh, TURNIPS!" choked the Goat Girl,
dropping the other five in huge disgust. "Whoever heard of turnip
turnovers?"
"I'll eat them," offered Nox, lapping up the little pies in his stride,
"but run--hurry, here come the natives!" But before Handy could snatch
up her weapons, the Topsies, hurling out of windows and doors, came
whirling down upon them.
Startled though she was, the Goat Girl could not disguise her interest
and curiosity. With one arm round Nox's neck and the other six
stretched stiffly before her to keep back the screeching crowd, she
stared with round and fascinated eyes. And, no wonder! The Topsies were
about as tall as children, but where their feet should have been, they
had sharp horny pegs. Another peg of the same description sprung from
each kinky head. With their plump hands the small black and blue men
and women spun themselves along by cords attached to their round little
middles and they kept reversing themselves, spinning first on one end
and then another in a manner very upsetting and confusing to their
visitors. The hum made by the Topsies' spinning and their loud raucous
cries filled the early morning air, and as Handy tried to push her way
through the crowd, several butted her with their sharp pegs.
"Ouch! Stop that!" bellowed Nox, who had been butted too. "Keep still,
m'lass, and sooner or later these little pests will run down."
"Turn them out! Turn them in! Turn them round! Turn them over!"
shrieked the Topsies hysterically. In the midst of the dreadful
confusion, a Topsy taller than all the rest came zooming down the
middle of the street.
"Look! STAND-STILLIANS!" shouted a round little spinster waving both
arms. "Travelers with legs instead of pegs. Robbers! Thieves! And
tramps, your Topjesty."
"Yes, and they have broken into my shop and stolen all my turnip
turnovers," screamed the Topsy Baker, spinning round in indignant
circles. "Aha, you wait, here comes Tip-Topper. Now you'll catch it
you, you Turnover snatchers, you!"
"Now you'll catch it!" shrilled all the rest of the Topsies, spinning
faster and faster till Handy and Nox were dizzy just from looking at
them.
Except for his size and a flag fluttering from the peg on his head,
Tip-Topper looked just like his subjects.
"Spin! Spin!" he whistled angrily. "What do you mean standing still in
the middle of Turn Town? Don't you realize you are breaking every one
of our rotary laws? Why are you here--did you come to do us a good turn
or a bad?"
"Turn 'em down! Turn 'em out! Turn 'em over! Turn 'em round!" insisted
the townsmen shrilly.
Between the revolving houses and the spinning Topsies, Handy Mandy
scarcely knew which foot she was standing on. As for Nox, he gave a
great groan and closing his eyes, left everything to his companion.
Handy put two hands over her ears and raising all the others, addressed
Tip-Topper in a firm and reasonable manner.
"Tell your people to stand back," directed the Goat Girl calmly. "All
we wish is to pass quietly through your city and never return. NEVER!"
she repeated emphatically. It was hard to speak to a person who kept
going round and round, but at every third turn Handy managed to catch
Tip-Topper's eye and at last he seemed to catch her idea.
"Very well, then, GO!" he commanded haughtily. "And at once!" But
when Handy, without stopping to pick up her weapons, started forward,
perfect shrieks of anger rose on all sides.
"Not that way! Not that way. Turn! Turn! Turn!" yelled the Topsies.
And getting back of Handy and the Royal Ox, they tried to push them
round by main force.
"Stop! Stop! It's no use," panted Tip-Topper, as Nox letting out a
frightful bellow, laid seven Topsies by the pegs with his left hind
foot, and Handy with a sweep of her arms swept down ten more. "They're
all made wrong. Fetch the Turn Coat, drive them to the turning point
and we'll turn them to Topsies in two shakes of a tent pole."
"M--mmmmm! M--mmmmm! Did you hear what I heard?" Nox peered desperately
around at Handy, who was now spinning dizzily herself, as she was
flung and pushed from one group to another. "Could they really turn us
to Topsies?"
"I don't know! I don't know! Oh my head, my HEAD!" moaned the Goat
Girl, clutching it with all hands. "It's going round and round--"
"Fine! Fine! That's the way!" cheered the Topsies heartily. "You'll be
spinning circles before you know it and have beautiful wool like the
rest of us."
"Wool!" gasped Handy, who was extremely proud of her shining yellow
braids. "Oh, I wool not, that's just too much! Stand back you little
buzzards and I'll show you a turn or two myself."
"Go ahead," said Turn Uppins, who seemed next in importance to
Tip-Topper himself. "It's your turn anyway. Stand back Topsies, and let
this waddling whangus show us what she can do."
At a signal from their leader the Turn Towners fell back a pace and
spinning in a loud agitated circle, impatiently waited for the Goat
Girl to take her turn. First Handy shook her head to dispel the
dizziness, then with a loud screech, she flung her arms and heels into
the air in such a succession of hand springs that even the Topsies were
impressed. The seventh brought her back to the Royal Ox and in the
center of a now cheering and admiring circle, she turned fifty more so
fast that she looked like an animated cartwheel with arms and leg's for
spokes. A loud buzz of applause went up as Handy finally fell over from
sheer exhaustion, but then they began pointing accusing fingers at Nox.
"Look! Look at the stupid Gumflumox, why he hasn't turned a single
hair."
"How about turning on them," raged Nox, "and tossing a few dozen on my
horns? Hop on my back, m'lass, and we'll make a run for it."
"No! No! There are too many, we'll be perfectly punctured," worried
Handy, as seven Topsies prodded the Royal Ox sharply in the flank. "We
might run right into that turning point, too. Wait! Wait! I'll think
of something. We don't want to spin on here forever, whatever happens!
Whew--hewey, what a dust the little pests kick up. I'd give my best
hand for a drink, I'm choking with thirst. Oh! Oh! I wish I were in a
river right this minute." Steadying herself by holding to Nox's right
horn, Handy faced the angry multitude.
"Turn! Turn! Take your turn!" shouted the Topsies incessantly. "Can't
you even turn your head old four-leg!"
"Of course he can," shouted Handy Mandy, clapping six of her hands
for silence. "Not only his head, but his horns. Watch this, my
friends!" The Goat Girl gave the horn she was leaning on a sharp twist.
"Not that one. Not that one!" fumed the Ox anxiously. "Quick, the
other--it's the other one, I tell you! Oh, my hide, hair, and Heavens!
Ulp! Gurgle Ooooop!"
And "Oooop gurgle ULP!" it was with everyone, for at Handy Mandy's
second turn, Nox's horn came completely off and as the goat girl held
it up for the Topsies to see, out spurted a perfect torrent of water
that flooded the whole city till every Turner and Topsy-turvy house in
it was awash or afloat. In wild and astonished voices the kinky headed
little citizens called out to each other as they bobbed up and down
like corks on the raging tide. And just as wet and surprised as the
Topsies, the Goat Girl and Nox were swept along by the impetuous flood.