"Alas! the story melts away my soul!
That best of fathers, how shall I discharge
The gratitude and duty which I owe him?
--By laying up his counsels in your heart."--CATO.
Amanda was sitting in the recess in the garden, the fourth evening of
Lord Mortimer's absence, when suddenly she heard the rattling of a
carriage. Her heart bounded, and she flew into the house; at the very
moment a chaise stopped at the door, from which, to her inexpressible
amazement, her father descended.
Transfixed to the spot, it was many minutes ere she had power to bid him
welcome, or return the fond caresses he bestowed upon her. "I am come,
Amanda," said he, eagerly interrupting the joyful speeches of the
Edwins, "to take you away with me; and one hour is all I can give you to
prepare yourself." "Good Heaven!" said Amanda, starting, "to take me
away immediately?" "Immediately," he repeated. "And as I know you are
attached to this good girl," turning to Ellen, "I shall be happy, if her
parents permit, to procure her attendance for you."
The Edwins, who would have followed themselves, or allowed any of their
family to follow Fitzalan and his daughter round the world, gladly
consented to her going; and the girl, exclusive of her attachment to
Amanda, which was very great, having pined ever since her lover's
departure, rejoiced at the idea of a change of scene.
Not so Amanda: it made her suffer agony; to be torn from Lord Mortimer
in the hour of reconciliation and explanation, was more than she could
support with fortitude. Her father, perhaps, had not received his
letter; it was but justice then to him and Lord Mortimer to reveal her
situation. She left her trunk half-packed, and went out for that
purpose; but as she stood before him with quivering lips and
half-averted eyes, at a loss to begin, he took her hand, and softly
exclaimed: "My love, let us for the present waive every subject; the
moments are precious; hasten to put on your habit, or we shall be too
late at the stage where I propose resting to-night." Amanda turned in
silence to her chamber to comply with his desire; tears ran down her
cheeks, and for the first time she conceived the idea of being hurried
away to avoid Lord Mortimer; but why, she could not think--honor as well
as tenderness, she thought, demanded her acquainting him with the cause
of her precipitate journey; but, when she took up a pen for that
purpose, her hand was unsteady, and she was so much disturbed by the
nurse and her daughters, who ran backwards and forwards in all the
bustle of preparation, that she could not write: her father prevented a
second effort, for he was continually coming to her chamber-door urging
her to be quick, and thus prevented her delivering any message to the
nurse for Lord Mortimer; so great was his eagerness to depart, he would
not suffer the horses to be taken from the chaise, or any refreshment to
be brought him by the Edwins, notwithstanding their pressing entreaties:
neither would he answer their interrogatories as to where he was going,
saying they should know hereafter. The parting embrace was at last given
and received with a heavy heart--Amanda was handed to the
carriage--silence prevailed--all the travellers were equally though
differently affected; the cottage and the spire of the village church
had awakened the most affecting remembrances in the mind of Fitzalan,
and tears fell from him to the memory of his unfortunate Malvina; sighs
burst from Amanda as she viewed the white turrets of Tudor Hall, and
Ellen sobbed on passing the forsaken cottage of poor Chip. From all
these affecting and beloved objects the rapidity of the carriage soon
conveyed them; but the impressions they left upon their minds were not
so easily eradicated. Fitzalan was the first to break the unsocial
silence, and it seemed as if he did so for the purpose of rousing the
dejection of his daughter: a cross road from the cottage shortly brought
them to Conway Ferry, which they were obliged to pass, and here, had
Amanda's mind been at ease, she would have felt truly gratified by
viewing the remains of gothic magnificence which Castle Conway
exhibited; as it was, she could not behold them unmoved, and, whilst she
admired, gave the passing tribute of a sigh to grandeur and decay. They
only continued in Conway till a carriage was provided for them, and soon
came beneath the stupendous projections of Penmaenmawr; this was a scene
as new as awful to Amanda: "Well, Cot in heaven pless their souls,"
Ellen said, "what a tefil of a way they should be in if one of them huge
stones rolled down upon the carriage." They stopped not again until they
reached Bangor Ferry, where they were to rest for the night. Amanda's
strength and spirits were now so entirely exhausted, that had not a
glass of wine been immediately procured her, she would have fainted from
weakness; this a little revived her, and the tears she shed relieved in
some degree the oppression of her heart; her father left her and Ellen
together, while he went to give directions about the journey of the
ensuing day.
Amanda went to the window and threw up the sash; the air from the
mountains she thought refreshed her; the darkness of the hour was
opposed by a bright moon, which cast a trembling radiance upon the
water, and by its partial gleams exhibited a beautiful scene of light
and shade, that had Amanda been in another frame of mind she would
infinitely have admired; the scene too was almost as still as it was
lovely, for no voice was heard except a low murmur from voices below
stairs: while she stood here in a deep reverie, the paddling of oars
suddenly roused her, and she beheld a boat on the opposite shore, which
in a few minutes gained the one where she was, and she saw coming from
it to the inn a large party of gentlemen, whose air and attendants
announced them to be men of fashion; they seemed by their discourse to
be a convivial party; the light was too dim to allow their faces to be
discerned, but in the figure of one Amanda thought she perceived a
strong resemblance to Lord Mortimer; her heart throbbed, she leaned
forward to endeavor to distinguish more plainly, and at the moment heard
his well-known voice ordering his groom to have the horses ready at
twelve o'clock, as he would take the advantage of such fine weather to
set off at that hour for Tudor Hall; the party were then ushered into a
room contiguous to the one occupied by Amanda, while the bustling of the
waiters, and the clattering of knives, forks, and plates, announced the
preparations for a late dinner. Oh! what were now the agitations of
Amanda, to think that in one moment she could inform Lord Mortimer of
her situation; but the transport the idea gave was relinquished almost
as soon as felt, as such a measure she thought might perhaps for ever
disoblige her father. In this tumult of doubt and perplexity he found
her; and by his conduct convinced her that he not only knew of Lord
Mortimer's being in the house, but wished her to avoid him; for he
instantly led her from the window, and, shutting it down, darted, for
the first time in his life, a severe frown at her; a dagger in the
breast of Amanda could scarcely have given her more pain--a cold horror
ran through her veins, and she was oppressed by as many fears as if she
had been conscious of offending him. The supper he had ordered was a
little retarded by the late dinner of his gay neighbors; he would have
had it in another room had another been disengaged; vainly did his timid
companions try to eat--Amanda was sick, and Ellen frightened, though she
knew not why; the waiter was dismissed, and the most unsocial silence
prevailed.
Unbounded gayety reigned in the next apartment, from which every sound
could plainly be distinguished. Dinner over, the exhilarating juice went
round, and bumper toasts were called. Lord Mortimer at last was asked
for a fair nymph. "I will give you," exclaimed he, in a voice which
denoted his being uncommonly elevated, "an Angel!"--Amanda's heart beat
violently and her cheeks glowed. "A name for this celestial beauty!"
demanded one of the party: "Amanda," cried his lordship. "Oh, faith,
Mortimer, that won't do;" said another of his companions; "this angel
shall not pass without the rest of her name." "Miss Fitzalan, then,"
exclaimed his lordship. "Oh! oh!" cried a new voice, with a loud laugh,
after clue honor had been paid to the toast, "I being to unravel a
mystery; upon my soul I could not conceive till this instant what had
kept you so long at the hall; for I had seen the maiden part of the
household, and knew the metal there not very attractive; but this
Amanda, I suppose, is the rosy daughter of some poor curate in its
vicinity, who for"--"Beware!" interrupted Lord Mortimer in an agitated
voice, "of what you say; give me no reason to repent having introduced a
name so valued into this company--the situation of Miss Fitzalan is not
exactly what you suppose: but let this suffice for you to know--it is
such as secures her from every species of impertinence and were it even
less protected, her own elegance and propriety would elevate her above
receiving any." The face of Fitzalan, during this conversation, was
crimsoned over, and he again darted a frown at the trembling Amanda,
which almost petrified her, he told her that she and Ellen must retire
immediately to rest, as they had a long journey before them the ensuing
day, which would require their rising early. Amanda, for the first time
in her life, wished to be relieved from his presence, and gladly rose to
obey him; he attended her himself to the room prepared for her, which
was directly over that where the gentlemen sat; to think of rest was
impossible; the severity of her father's looks, and her precipitate
journey--she knew not whither--but evidently for the purpose of avoiding
Lord Mortimer, filled the thoughts of Amanda with confusion and
distress: Ellen essayed artless consolation: "What the tefil do you
think," said she, "if I was to go down to give his lortship an
intimation of your peing here; you could easily contrive to see him in
the garden, or else we could pring him up here, and if the captain
surprised us, we could pop him in a moment behind the curtain." Amanda
motioned her to silence, unwilling to lose the smallest sound of Lord
Mortimer's voice, and determined, anxious as she was to see him, never
to act in opposition to her father. At length the horses were led from
the stable, and the convivial party descended to them. Amanda softly
raised the window, and saw Lord Mortimer eagerly vault upon the saddle;
he gave a hasty adieu to the friends, and galloped off; they mounted at
the same time, but took a contrary direction. Amanda leaned out till she
could no longer hear the clattering of the horses' hoofs; her heart sunk
as the sound died upon her ear; she wept as she retired from the window;
the idea of Mortimer's disappointment aggravated her grief; she no
longer opposed Ellen's efforts to undress her; exhausted by fatigue,
sleep soon closed her eyes, and fancy again transported her to Tudor
Hall and Mortimer.
By the first dawn of day a knock at her chamber-door roused her from
this pleasing illusion, and she heard her father desiring her to rise
immediately. Drowsy as she was, she instantly obeyed the summons, and
awaking Ellen, they were ready to attend him in a few minutes; a boat
was already prepared, and on gaining the opposite side they found a
carriage in waiting. Day was now just dawning; a gray mist enveloped the
mountains, and cast a shade of obscurity upon all the inferior objects;
at length the atmosphere began to brighten--the lucid clouds in the cast
were tinged with golden radiance, and the sun in beautiful and refulgent
majesty arose, gladdening the face of nature with its potent beams; the
trees, the shrubs, seemed waving their dewy heads in sign of grateful
homage, while their winged inhabitants, as they soared in the air,
poured forth the softest notes of melody. Amanda, in spite of sadness,
beheld the charming scene with admiration; and Fitzalan contemplated it
with delight. "All nature," he exclaimed, "points out to man the
gratitude due to the Divine dispenser of good; hardened must that heart
be against the feelings of sensibility, which the harmony and fragrance
of this early hour awakens not to a perfect sense of it!" Amanda
assented to his remark more by a smile than words, for she was ill able
to speak. They stopped not till they reached Gwintey, where they
breakfasted, and then proceeded, without resting again, to Holyhead,
which place Fitzalan announced as they entered it. And now, Amanda first
conceived the idea of being brought to another kingdom, which her father
soon confirmed her in--for, as soon as they alighted, he inquired when
a packet would sail, and heard with evident pleasure about six in the
afternoon. He directly desired three passages to be engaged; and, having
ordered an early dinner, dismissed Ellen into another room; and seating
himself by Amanda, he took her hand, and with a tender voice thus
addressed her: "To give pain to your gentle heart has inflicted torture
on mine; but honor compelled me to the conduct which I have adopted, and
which, I trust and believe, Amanda will excuse when she knows my motive
for it, which in due order she shall hear.
"On Lord Cherbury's arrival in town, I was immediately informed of it,
according to the promise of his domestics, and directly sent him my
letter; scarcely had he read it, ere, with all the ardor of true
friendship, he came and brought me to his house, where we might securely
reflect on what was to be done. His lordship soon formed a plan that at
once inspired me with gratitude and pleasure, as it promised me
competence without depriving me of independence--this was to accept the
agency of a considerable estate in the north of Ireland, which he
possessed in right of his wife, the late Countess of Cherbury, who was
an Irish heiress. He proposed my residing in the mansion house, offering
to advance a sum sufficient to answer all demands and exigencies; and
striving to lighten the obligations he conferred upon me, by declaring
he had long been seeking a man of well-known probity, as his last agent
had gone off considerably in arrears to him. I accepted his generous
offer, and soon freed myself from the power of Belgrave. I now felt a
tranquillity I was long a stranger to, and was busied in preparing to
come down to you, when Lord Mortimer's letter, like a clap of thunder,
broke the happy calm I enjoyed. Gracious heaven! I shuddered to think,
that at the very period Lord Cherbury was building up my fortunes, the
hopes he entertained for this darling son were in a way of being
destroyed, through means of a connection of mine; he had hinted to me
his having already settled upon a splendid alliance for Lord Mortimer,
which he also hinted his heart was set on: this the infatuated young man
had himself some knowledge of; for in his rash letter he entreated my
secrecy relative to his proposal for you till beyond the reach of
mortals to separate you: no doubt he would never have asked my consent,
had he thought he could have procured you without it; he took me, I
suppose, for some needy and ambitious creature, who would, though at the
expense of integrity, grasp an opportunity of elevating a child to rank
and fortune; but never was an erring mortal more mistaken, though
dearer to me than the air I breath--though the lovely child of my lost
Malvina--though a cherubim, whose innocent endearments often raised in
me, as Prospero says--
An undergoing stomach--to bear up
Against what should ensue.
I would rather see you breathless at my feet, than, by conscious and
apparent meanness, deserve and incur the malevolence of calumny. I
committed the letter to the flames, and requested Lord Cherbury's final
commands; being desirous to commence my journey without longer delay, as
your delicate state of health, I said, made me anxious to have you
immediately under my own care; he complied with my request, and I
travelled post, resolved to separate you and Lord Mortimer--even if
prepared for the altar: nor was I alone actuated to this by gratitude to
Lord Cherbury, or consideration for my own honor--no, with these, a
regard for your peace equally influenced me--a soul of sensibility and
refinement like yours could never, I know, be happy if treated with
repulsive coldness by the family of her husband; particularly if her
conscience told her she merited that coldness by entering it
clandestinely. Could I bear to think that of you--so lovely in
person--so amiable in manners--so illustrious in descent--should be
called an artful and necessitous contriver? an imputation, which, most
undoubtedly, your union with Lord Mortimer would have incurred. No, to
the God who gave you to my care, I hold myself responsible, as far as in
my power, for preserving your peace--to the mother, whose last words
implored my tenderness for her offspring, I hold myself accountable--to
me she still exists--I think her ever near--and ere I act, always
reflect whether such an action would meet her approbation. Such is the
respect virtue excites--it lives when the frail texture of mortality is
dissolved. Your attachment, when repelled by reason and fortitude, will
soon vanish; as for Lord Mortimer, removed from the flame which warmed
his heart, he will soon forget it ever played around it--should he,
however, be daring enough to persevere, he will find my resolution
unalterable. Honor is the only hereditary possession that ever came to
me uninjured; to preserve it in the same state has been ever my
unremitted study--it irradiated the gloomy morning of care, and I trust
it will gild the setting hours of existence."
Amanda's emotions deprived her of speech or acting--she sat a pale
statue, listening to her father's firm and rapid language, which
announced the abolition of her hopes; ignorant of her inability to
speak, he felt hurt at her silence; and rising abruptly, walked about
the room with a disordered air. "I see--I see," cried he at last,
looking mournfully upon her, "I am destined to be unhappy; the little
treasure which remained from the wreck of felicity, I had hoped (vain
hope!) would have comforted and consoled me for what then was lost." "O!
my father!" exclaimed Amanda, suddenly starting and sighing deeply, "how
you pierce my heart!" His pale, emaciated looks seemed to declare him
sinking beneath a burden of care; she started up, and flung herself into
his arms. "Dearest, best of fathers!" she exclaimed, in a voice broken
by sobs, "what is all the world to me in comparison of you? Shall I put
Lord Mortimer, so lately a stranger, in competition with your happiness?
Oh no! I will henceforth try to regulate every impulse of my heart
according to your wishes." Fitzalan burst into tears--the enthusiasm of
virtue warmed them both--hallowed are her raptures, and amply do they
recompense the pain attendant on her sacrifices.
Dinner was brought in, to which they sat down in their usual social
manner; and Amanda, happy in her father's smiles, felt a ray of
returning cheerfulness. The evening was delightfully serene when they
went on board, and the vessel, with a gentle motion, glided over the
glittering waves; sickness soon compelled Amanda and Ellen to retire
from the deck; yet without a sigh, the former could not relinquish the
prospect of the Welsh mountains. By the dawn of next morning the vessel
entered the bay of Dublin, and Fitzalan shortly after brought Amanda
from the cabin to contemplate a scene which far surpassed all her ideas
of sublimity and beauty, a scene which the rising sun soon heightened to
the most glowing radiance; they landed at the Marine Hotel, where they
breakfasted, and then proceeded in a carriage to a hotel in Capel
street, where they proposed staying a few days for the purpose of
enjoying Oscar's company, whose regiment was quartered in Dublin, and
making some requisite purchases for their journey to the north. As the
carriage drove down Capel street, Amanda saw a young officer standing at
the corner of Mary's Abbey, whose air very much resembled Oscar's; her
heart palpitated; she looked out and perceived the resemblance was a
just one, for it was Oscar himself--the carriage passed too swiftly for
him to recognize her face; but he was astonished to see a fair hand
waving to him; he walked down the street, and reached the hotel just as
they were entering it.